“Ah-choo! Hhh…”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I have to be after all, don’t I?”
Anten had a concerned frown on her face as she watched the girl beside her wipe her profusely running nose with her bare hand before shaking her head and getting back into her meditation position.
A week after the Initiation had ended, the two of them had been paired up by the Church as worthy candidates and subsequently tasked to venture out to the wasteland as part of their first trial.
As much as Anten herself was not concerned with staying outside in the freezing cold and dangerous environment as part of her cover, she failed to see the logic behind the trial itself. Meditation, survival, the Particle, none of them seemed to correlate to each other inside her head.
In addition to that, she was more worried about her teammate above all else during the entire test. Her full name was Gail Abbott, and she was a devout follower of the Church, something that was not a surprise to her at that point.
Based on her interactions with her, she had gained the impression that she was a friendly and approachable person, someone that she could wholeheartedly trust.
However, despite her strong willpower and determination, her physical frailty and kind personality could not have been any more unfitting for something as tough and challenging as the trials.
In the first few hours since they had arrived at their ‘meditation zone’, there were already multiple times where Anten had believed that the girl would pass out from the harsh conditions right then and there, given how much she seemed to be affected by them.
And yet, even with a running nose and a shivering body, she kept on meditating and actively refused all external help, continuously insisting that she was fine and that no one had to worry about her.
Of course, that attitude was certainly not going to sit right with the angel at all, and so she was forced to speak up about her own concerns.
“Sister Gail…”
“… mmm…”
“Sister Gail.”
“Please don’t disturb me, Sister Anten,” Gail replied in a cheery but nasal tone caused by her blocked nose, “please just focus on yourself and your own meditation.”
“But…”
“As I said, I’m fine. Please don’t concern yourself over me. Rest assured; I will get through this.”
“…”
But as much as Anten wanted to listen to her and focus on her own meditation, she knew she had to say something to at the very least try and help her.
“Can I… can I ask you something?”
“… mmm…”
“Why do you want to do this anyway?”
In response to her question, Gail opened her eyes and turned to look at her, quickly hitting her with a quizzical expression.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Anten remarked as she tried to explain her own viewpoint to her, “I know it’s not my place to say anything to try and change your mind, but I just want to know what your end goal is. Suppose you are able to get through all the trials, and you obtain the Part—I mean the Goddess’ Gift, what do you want to do then?”
“Hmm…”
Getting out of her meditation pose, Gail stopped and pondered the question for a while before giving her an honest answer.
“I want to help the Church. I want to help the world. I think… I just want to make the world better with help from the Gift, that’s all I want from it.”
“… I see.”
It was an answer Anten had expected, but it was not the one she had wanted to hear, so she asked her something else instead.
“But what’s in it for you? Why do you want to do it?”
“Mm… because I believe that that’s what I want.”
“You believe?”
“Yes,” Gail innocently responded as she blew on her hands before rubbing them together, “the Church has always taught me to believe. They say that belief is a powerful tool that we all possess, and with it, we can achieve anything we want. If I believe that I can pass the trials, I have to make sure I stick to those beliefs in order for my wishes to come true. That’s what I believe, you know?”
“Huh.”
With that answer, Anten finally understood. First it had been Simon, now it was Gail. Both of them with vastly different personalities and physical statuses, and yet the both of them had the same level of determination in their own separate beliefs that were all ultimately connected to the Particle in the end.
Compared to them, her own wavering beliefs about the Particle were weak and laughable, and in spite of all that, she was still trying to compete with them over what they had been trying to reach for a large part of, if not their entire lives.
“…”
However, even if she felt bad about disrupting all the other candidates’ hopes and dreams with her presence, she still had a mission to complete, one that was far more important than any of theirs, and she could not just give up on her plan just because of her own regret.
So, before the first trial was over, she made a promise with Gail, one that was borrowed and modified from her initial plan before she entered the Church.
“Sister Gail.”
“Yeah?”
“I promise you; I will help you pass the trials and obtain the Goddess’ Gift.”
“… sorry, but I don’t want your—”
“It’s non-negotiable,” she insisted, “I may not know what the second and third trials will be, but if you still want your goals to come true, I will help you in any way I can. All I ask from you is that once you are satisfied and done what you wanted to do, you will hand the Gift over to me. That way, we can fulfil all our wishes.”
“What is your wish?”
“That is personal.”
“Hmm…”
After some deliberation and more intense shivering, Gail finally agreed and made the promise, even after Anten had added in some conditions involving the other candidates at the last second.
“I trust you, Sister Anten.”
“I trust you too, Sister Gail.”
A simple agreement between two acquaintances who barely knew each other. Two girls, willing to work together despite being in a fierce competition. All of this to make Anten feel like she was doing the right thing.
No matter what happens… I want everyone to be happy.
Even if she did not pass all the trials, as long as she was respecting all of the candidates’ wishes, she did not mind it at all. She was willing to give anything up for it, even sacrificing her dignity and pride if need be.
Because after all, she was still an angel.
**********************
As soon as the Elder revealed the details of the third trial, the crowd was in a full and horrified uproar, with many of them visibly upset by what they had just heard.
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“What the hell?”
“How could he…”
“How could you do this to Brother Simon!”
As much as they had fluctuated between supporting the two opposing candidates in the final fight, and as much as some of them did not like Simon since the start, everyone had joined up in unison to loudly protest against the Elder’s cruel decision.
“No killing! No killing! No killing!” they all chanted, putting the iron-clad rule that had been set up in the previous trial to good use.
“BANG!”
It was only when one of the Enforcers standing guard in the arena raised their gun up to the air and fired a shot that they all stopped their outrage and fell silent, even though there were still murmurs of dissent among them.
“Now,” the Elder patiently explained once the chaos had been mostly quelled, “I understand many of your frustrations. However, to fully believe in the greater good is to accept any necessary sacrifices along the way. For Candidate Anten, this trial is for her to prove that she is willing to do anything to make the future better for everyone. That is why she must kill our dear Brother Simon, who has proven himself most unworthy to carry the Gift.”
“…”
Anten could say nothing in response to the heavy demand. In fact, as soon as she had heard what she needed to do, her mind had completely stopped and was currently running in a jumbled state of thoughts and feelings.
I… I… I…
She slowly turned back to look at Simon, his face still bruised and bleeding from her actions. Unlike her, he did not appear to be shocked by the Elder’s words, but instead he had a solemn, inconsolable expression on his face.
He seemed to have already accepted his fate before she or anyone else did. All that remained for him was waiting for her to do the deed, and it would all be over for him.
Do it, she saw the words in his eyes, do it already, and win. I’ve lost anyway.
“…”
She took one step towards him before freezing in place again, clenching her fist and taking shallow breaths as the two continued to stare at each other in silence.
Just one more, and you’re done. Just one more, and you’re done. Just…
“If you don’t understand the responsibility that comes with receiving the Goddess’ Gift, then you might as well give up!”
… that’s right.
“No.”
That was her simple reply to the Elder as she turned back to face him with a steadfast expression. A refusal of his order, and a complete forfeit of the third trial, destroying any chance for her to win.
The crowd gasped as soon as they heard her answer, but soon enough, some of them began to cheer, loudly celebrating her decision, until another loud gunshot from the Enforcers silenced them again.
“Candidate Anten,” the Elder spoke as soon as the crowd had settled down again, “that is a very bold choice you are making. Might I ask why you have refused to kill Brother Simon Bailey?”
“…”
“Is it perhaps because you have some sort of close relationship with him? Is it because you condone killing? Or is it that… you simply do not believe in the greater cause?”
“…”
Anten took a quick glance back at Simon. Noting the disappointed and slightly horrified look in his eyes, she took a deep breath before stomping her foot and declaring her answer.
“Because… I am an angel.”
The charade was over. Now that she had forfeited the trial, and no longer had the opportunity to get the Particle discreetly, she felt that the time had come for her to confess.
“…”
The initial reaction from everyone, including Simon, in response to her claim was muted and unconvinced at first, but after she unfurled her wings out for them to see that she was not lying at all, the arena burst into a chaotic commotion once again.
“An angel?”
“She looks like… the Goddess?”
“What does it mean?”
“That’s right, I am an angel,” she stubbornly reiterated her point, “sent down by God himself to collect the Goddess’ Gift, in order to make the world better and minimize human suffering. I didn’t have any malicious intent on deceiving you like this, but I had to do it so that I can show you all that I am trustworthy.”
“…”
In contrast to the rowdy spectators, the others seemed to be less impressed by the reveal. The Enforcers did not raise their weapons up towards her, and the Elder merely sniffed as he continued to look down at her.
“Mm,” he remarked as his eyes carefully observed the slow flapping of her white wings, “Candidate Anten, I have to say, that is very disappointing coming from you.”
“I know,” she replied without hesitation, “then, by all regards, doesn’t my deception constitute a breach in the rules and therefore, I should be disqualified from the trials?”
“What… are you doing?” she could hear Simon mumble behind her, but she resolutely stood firm and refused to back down from her choice.
“I want you to give Brother Simon the Goddess’ Gift, Mister Elder. He’s more qualified to wield it than me, and as I am unworthy to do it now, it should be him.”
“Hmm…”
Unusually, a smile had begun to form on the Elder’s face as he listened to her speak, almost as if he was enjoying the entire thing and not showing any concern to it at all. Eventually, after a while, he gave his answer to her in an amused, almost laughing tone.
“What are you talking about, Candidate Anten? You have not been disqualified at all.”
“What?” she blinked at his reply in confusion.
“Your refusal to execute Brother Simon was just what we needed. It doesn’t matter whether you’re an angel, a beast, or some other thing, the important thing is that you have passed the final trial.”
“I-I have?”
“Oh yes,” he beamed, “believing in a cause greater than yourself may require certain sacrifices from time to time, but if your true cause is to protect everyone, which is what we at the Church do, sparing a person is always the better option than just simply killing them.”
“… I see.”
Anten did not know whether to smile or die from embarrassment. Instead, she just gave a safe answer and hoped that everyone could not see the growing blush on her face as she looked down at the ground.
“… hm.”
To make things better, Simon’s shock at the reveal of her identity had largely worn off by now, and since he had already accepted his loss beforehand, he did not have any loud objections to the decision, merely nodding in response.
I guess that’s all it is, huh?
Both he and she had the same thought in their minds as the crowd, who had also recovered from their shock, began to cheer for her in a more enthusiastic volume than right after their fight had ended.
“Silence,” the Elder ordered them before continuing, “now that the trials have been concluded, it is time for the winning candidate to receive the coveted Goddess’ Gift!”
Giving a quick nod to the Enforcers close to him and whispering to an elite church member beside him, both parties took the hint and entered the ring before ceremoniously walking straight towards Anten.
“Now, Candidate Anten. If you may please follow the Enforcers and Father Cassius, they will bring you to the Goddess’ Gift. I shall be joining you shortly after.”
“O-ok! Thank you!” Anten replied nervously before she politely bowed to her new escorts who had already entered the ring without her noticing.
“This way please,” Cassius motioned for her to follow him, and she smiled happily in response before complying.
“Ok!”
“…”
As he watched the angel leave the arena with the Enforcers at the rear of the escorting party, Simon said nothing as he stared down at his hands, which had both been stained from the open wounds on his face.
What do I do now?
Just like that, it was completely over for him. Even though Anten’s deception had been easily uncovered without much effort from him, he still had his original goal of obtaining the Gift to settle in the first place, and now he had failed to reach it in what he deemed to be a show of his weakness.
The truth was always hard to swallow, but he knew that there was also a high chance he could never reach it again, if she really was the best and worthiest candidate to receive the Gift.
“…”
He was lost in his own thoughts, preoccupied with his defeat, that he had failed to see the spectators slowly filter out of the arena, and the Elder casually entering and walking up to him.
“Brother Simon.”
“Huh? Ah yes, Elder! Sorry, I’ll wash up and leave!”
“It’s quite all right,” the Elder kindly replied before proceeding to wipe his bruises with a clean cloth he suddenly had in his hand, “you did well. I am proud of you for that.”
“T-thank you!”
“Can you stand and walk?”
“Yes, I think so!”
“Good.”
The Elder gave a warm smile before he turned and immediately began to walk away at a brisk pace.
“Come with me, Brother Simon. I need to tell you something.”
“S-sure!” Simon responded as he stood up and dusted himself off before hurriedly joining up with the leader, and together, they walked out of the arena, towards a destination he was not sure of yet.
**********************
Yes, yes, yes! This is it!
Anten could barely hide her excitement and joy as she followed closely behind Father Cassius, with the Enforcers tailing and keeping a close, watchful eye on her the whole time.
Although she had also been in the arena, Yuu had not been asked to accompany the party, but that was not a concern for her. Once everything was over, they would meet up and celebrate their achievement together after all.
The main concern that she had right now was of Dauma and Blake. After she had heard the news, she had tried to contact Dauma through their private connection, but despite multiple attempts, she still could not reach him, so both of their fates were still unresolved.
Maybe once I have the Particle, I can ask what happened to them. It might not be wise, but surely, they would not say no to me once I’ve obtained the greatest power they have.
As such, that matter had been quickly resolved for the time being. However, as the group continued walking, that soon became the least of her worries.
Hang on…
Something was wrong. Even though she was not well-versed in the full layout of the Church itself, she was still roughly familiar with the path that they were supposed to take to get to the Particle. And yet, they were going in a completely different direction, to the other end of the Church.
Given where and how she last saw the Particle before, she knew that there was a very slim chance it could have been moved. The way it had been presented to her, without anyone being allowed to touch it, had also seemed like a sacred taboo that could not be easily broken either, so moving her to another place and giving it to her was even more unlikely.
“Uh, excuse me?”
Clearing her throat, she tried to get the attention of Cassius, the elite Church member, the one who in her eyes would surely not have easily made any kind of mistake in his orientation, but he ignored her and just continued walking straight without stopping.
“Father Cassius?”
Tapping his shoulder did not elicit a reaction either, but it did cause the Enforcers behind her to lift their guns up slightly, so she stopped doing that immediately and kept her hands to herself.
“Mmgh…” she raised her eyebrow in mild frustration as she stared at his back, unable to see the expression on his face as they continued walking.
At this point, they were going far into an unknown part of the Church that she had not seen before, going into thin, twisty alleys that seemed to grow narrower and narrower with each turn. The chance that they were merely taking an alternative route to the Particle was growing much slimmer.
“… hey.”
After a while, she broke. Unwilling to take the suspense anymore, she stopped in the middle of the sixth alley they entered, prompting the Enforcers to quickly point their guns at her head.
“I need to know where you’re taking me, please.”
Cassius had stopped as soon as he had been called, and in response to her demand, he gradually turned around to face her with a blank, emotionless expression on his face.
“I am bringing you to the Goddess’ Gift, of course. What’s the problem?”
That… no, I can’t fall for it. I need to press on.
“How much longer will it take for us to get to the Gift?”
“Not long now.”
“Why is it taking us so long to get there?”
“We need to do some things first.”
No… no…
Her suspicions were slowly being confirmed. As much as she was trying to give them the full benefit of the doubt, they were all treating her with coldness and giving her vague answers, which, considering she had just been declared the worthiest in the entire Church, did not seem like an appropriate response to her.
Even if she wanted to take the natural aloof attitude or the hatred of certain people into account, some things still did not add up for her. She had to know what was going on.
“Please, tell me the truth, Father Cassius.”
“…”
A look of guilt had begun to appear on Cassius’s face as she gently pressured him. Averting his gaze away from her as she stared at him with pleading eyes, he fiercely bit down on his lip before opening his mouth to speak again.
“… I’m sorry, the Elder made me.”
As much as he appeared to be unwilling to do so, he finally admitted it before nodding to the Enforcers behind her, who promptly and menacingly began to approach her.
“What? Hey!”
The ruse had been revealed. With a panicked look on her face, Anten backed up against the wall of the alley as the Enforcers continued to close in on her, their deadly weapons a mere inch or two away from her body.
“Please… don’t do this… you don’t have to do this!”
Stepping back and moving away from her with his face turned away once again, Cassius only had one thing left that he could say to the scared angel.
“… it had to be done.”
“BANG!”
A gunshot, then a dull thud and squelch of something large hitting the ground echoed through the alley.