Alright, what do I do next?
“Farewell, Sister Anten.”
… ah, right. Brother Simon.
Since I am in a competition right now, I need to make sure I make peace with all the competitors as much as I can. That way, even if they or I lose, I’ll still have good relations with them, and we can still work together to achieve our own goals.
However, getting the opportunity to talk to Simon again was much easier said than done for Anten.
Even though the two of them had bumped into each other on multiple occasions after their disastrous introduction in the Garden, he would always not give her the opportunity to speak, leaving her unable to make amends.
Over and over again, he avoided her either by talking to someone else, acting busy by doing something, or flat out not listening to her whenever she tried to get his attention.
She had considered going up to his dorm room and confronting him there, but she knew that if she did, it would push him even further away from her, and if that happened, there would be no fixing the fracture afterwards.
“…”
Never mind, I guess I should switch my approach, change the person I have to talk to.
She knew he was familiar with an older girl named Renare who had volunteered to be his mentor for the trials, much like Yuu was for her.
The Church had not explicitly stated or mentioned to her at all what the role of the mentor was for the candidates, but she believed it was something along the lines of ‘emotional and mental partner’.
In line with her theory, she had previously seen the two of them together a number of times, and from the conversations she had accidentally eavesdropped on, they seemed to just indicate that they were friends, and that there was nothing more to it than that.
Hence, the fact that Renare was specifically Simon’s mentor and not just his friend meant that she had a closer connection to him than most other people, and that meant that she could try talking to her to try and get to him.
After all, based on their last encounter, she felt that the both of them had a neutral, slightly supportive relationship together, which greatly increased the odds of she and her properly listening to and understanding each other.
So, when she was alone in the Church library, browsing through books on her own without his presence around, Anten decided to make her move.
“Ah, hello dearie,” the elderly librarian, a sweet old lady with a kind smile, greeted her as soon as she entered.
“Good day, Mother Abigail. Is Sister Renare here?”
“Yes, but I don’t know where she is.”
“I see. Thanks anyway!”
Eventually after some roaming, she located her in the History and Biographies aisle, busy going through the many works stored there.
“Hello, Sister Renare,” she spoke in the friendliest tone she could muster as she slowly approached her.
“Oh, it’s you, Sister Anten,” Renare bluntly replied as she looked up from the book she was holding.
Ok good, she seems willing to talk to me. That’s a good start.
“How have you been?”
“Logically, I’m well enough.”
“… uhm, what’s that book you have in your hands? Is it good?”
“It’s called ‘The Dark Light’. It’s a biography written by someone who lived about 300 years ago and talks about their bad experience with someone and how they escaped from them with their newborn baby. The ink is faded though, so it’s difficult to tell who she was writing about.”
“Alright…”
I think I’ve broken the ice enough. Time to do it.
“So uhh…” Anten tentatively leaned against the bookshelf next to her and politely asked, “how has… Brother Simon been?”
“Him? Well, I think he’s the same. Working hard for the trials, I’m proud of him, and I just hope he wins this.”
“… right, right. You don’t sound very proud though.”
“Of course I am,” Renare responded with a straight face as she placed the book back onto the shelf, “what makes you think I’m not?”
“You know what, forget I said any of that.”
“Sure.”
Renare’s words, even as she seemed to be vehemently indicating her support and passion for Simon, lacked any sort of emotion, similar to the blank expression that she had on her face currently.
Additionally, she was ridiculously quick and blunt with answering questions, without giving or pausing a second to think about it. To Anten, it was like she was not being genuine at all, that was the strange feeling she was getting as she kept talking to her.
Another way then.
“Can I ask you a question if you don’t mind, Sister Renare?”
“Sure.”
“Why… did you choose to be Brother Simon’s mentor?”
“Well, let’s see…”
Once again, it was almost as if Renare had predicted what she was going to say, as she began to talk to her for an uncomfortably long duration about Simon, giving a long lecture about how she felt towards him as a whole.
“… I suppose what Brother Simon means to me is that he’s special. He’s not like the others, he knows what he wants, and he strives to achieve his goals. It may seem like he’s being rude or avoidant towards people, but in reality, he’s determined, and sometimes, he can be quite demanding and direct. I don’t see that as his weakness, I see it as his strength. Because of that, I wish to support him at every turn, regardless of whether he wins or loses the trials this year…”
“…”
Throughout the entire monologue, Anten chose not to cut in or interrupt her in the likely event that it was rude, so she continued nodding and listening to her as they continued to lean awkwardly against the bookshelf in the library passageway.
“… when I first met him three years ago, I knew that I had found someone unique, someone who I wanted to befriend. I realized that he wanted something to do with his life, so I asked him to participate in the Goddess Initiation. I have helped him all these years and I would not ask for anything more. That is not me being selfish, but I just want to see him reach his full potential, that’s all. In other words, I love him for who he is, and I hope he will never change, and I wholeheartedly believe that to be the case.”
… hang on a minute.
She had finally finished speaking, but something in the last part of what she had said sounded strange to Anten, and she knew she needed further clarification on it before the conversation could continue.
“So… you really do love Brother Simon, don’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Then,” she asked Renare, “just out of curiosity, have you told him what you just told me?”
“No, why do you ask?” was the innocent reply.
“It’s just that… I don’t know…” Anten mumbled as she twirled her hair, “don’t you think you should tell him how you feel?”
“I think the two of us are fine though,” Renare shrugged in response, “anything more could affect our relationship, and I don’t think he should be stressed out at this juncture.”
“Right, right.”
That’s a dead end. I shouldn’t ask too many questions about their personal life. Time to get to the point.
“Hey, uh, Sister Renare?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you pass on a message to Brother Simon for me?”
“Sure, what?”
Renare had been busy picking out another book from the shelf as she gave her request, but in spite of the suddenness of her request, she still seemed to be willing to stop and take it from her.
“Can you uhh…” Anten hesitantly continued, “can you tell him that I didn’t mean to offend him, and that I apologize for my behavior the other day? Given what you have told me about him, I have realized that he really is serious about this whole thing and that’s why he must be angry with me for not treating it the same way, and therefore I shall not upset him with my words again in the future. Is that alright with him?”
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“Of course.”
“… you sure?”
“Of course,” Renare repeated, her expression remaining unchanged, “I will be quite happy to tell him that for you. After all, it is not good that you two are fighting with each other in the first place.”
“O-ok then, thank you!”
Whoo, guess that did the trick.
“Wait a moment, Sister Anten.”
“Huh? What?”
As soon as she had passed on her message, Anten was satisfied and had gotten ready to leave, but Renare seemed to have other things to talk to her about.
“You know,” she continued as she carefully cradled the book she had picked out from the shelf in her hands, “you’ve been asking me a lot about Brother Simon, but I still don’t know much about you.”
“… uh, yeah, that makes sense.”
Not this again.
Anten instinctively gulped as Renare’s lilac eyes stared into her golden ones, giving her much more pressure than the elite member had when she had seen the Particle. Deep down in her heart, she prayed that she would not be asked about anything that she could not reveal.
“What do you dream about?”
“…huh?”
“One thing you need to know about me, I like to hear people talk about their dreams so that I can know more about them. Of course,if you find that weird, you can just tell me,” Renare reasoned, giving a small shrug with her shoulders as she continued looking into her eyes.
“Oh, okay. I don’t really dream a lot though.”
More like I don't sleep at all.
“No dreams?”
“No, sorry.”
Anten shook her head, but once again, Renare did not strongly react to the disappointing answer. Instead, she appeared to accept it as is, with no further clarification or objection needed.
“Well, that’s all I wanted to ask,” she indifferently replied, “my apologies for disturbing you, Sister Anten. I’ll let you go now.”
“…”
For some reason, her last response had triggered a certain feeling inside of Anten as soon as she had heard it. She somehow felt guilty about her answer, even though there was no dejection or sadness in the tone. Therefore, to make up for it, she quickly attempted to leave her with a positive thing to remember.
“Wait. Before I go, Sister Renare, do you have any books you can recommend me to read? Something that you found interesting. I really want to catch up on my learning, and I’m sure you’ve read a lot of books, am I right?”
“Of course.”
Without wasting a single second, Renare turned towards the bookshelf and grabbed a large, dusty book from one of its arranged stacks before promptly handing it over to her.
“Oh, uh, thanks,” Anten responded as she grabbed the book, before slowly reading what was written on the front cover to get an idea on what it was about.
‘A Complete History of the Last War’, huh…
“Have you read it before?” she heard Renare ask.
“No, not at all,” she politely replied as she further examined the book in her hands, taking note of its heavy weight.
“Well, have fun with it then.”
“Y-yeah, I will.”
With that promise, and still holding the book she had originally picked out close to her chest, Renare walked away from her, disappearing behind the rows of bookshelves, and leaving her alone with the massive book in her hands.
“… alright, guess I should get to reading.”
Taking her quick departure as a cue for her to carry on, Anten slowly mumbled to herself before she began to proceed to a nearby study table in order to properly read it.
“Let’s see…”
To put it as simply as she could, when she put it down and opened it, the book was a complete mess. Some of its pages had been ripped off and others seemed to be soaked in some kind of mysterious liquid that did not smell like ink, but she could still legibly read what was written on it at least, so she soon shrugged it off.
There were also loose documents and odd notes that had been sandwiched in between the pages that were still available, and which fell out occasionally as she flipped them, forcing her to pick them up and read what was on them before she could continue.
“The Last War was started by the various armies of the world, who sought to obtain the great power of God that was carried by the Grand United Front… hmm…”
She was definitely familiar with some of the details of the Last War, considering that she had been given some basic information by the god Michael before he had sent her down to Earth.
She knew about the Source, how many people sought for its power, and how the world ended because of it, so much of what she read in the book itself did not surprise her in the slightest.
However, there were still some explicit and incredibly gruesome details of the war’s cruelty and horrors inside, complete with photographs that she had not seen before, and that she did not intend to again as soon as she had done so.
Ugh man, why are people like this?
As much as she had already witnessed violence and pain before her very eyes, the very thought of revisiting it greatly sickened her, and she did not wish to relive that sight again.
So, as soon as she saw something related to the execution of traitors, she hurriedly looked away and blindly flipped the page, desperately hoping to escape that section without reading what was on it.
“Huh?”
As she did so, something slipped out of a page further down the book and landed on the floor. Bending down to pick it up, she could see that it was another one of the old photographs.
For god’s sake, please don’t let it be a torture scene…
However, as she held it up and flipped it over, looking closely at what was on it, her mind suddenly went blank. The details of the picture were instantly seared into her brain, and there was no getting rid of it, not as long as she could remember.
“…”
Placing the photograph slowly down onto the table, she quickly began flipping through the book to get to the portion where it had dropped from, desperate to find out more about it.
“No way…”
She re-read the page, over and over and over and over and over. Her eyes did not stop going through the written lines even as she tried to process it, over and over and over and over and over. Above all, she had to convince herself that what she was reading was actually real, over and over and over and over and over again.
… so that’s how it is…
**********************
“Brother Simon.”
“Yes?”
Glancing up from his study table as soon as he heard someone call out to him, Simon froze as he saw who was standing by the door to his room.
“… can I come in?” the Elder cordially asked as he waited in the doorway, calmly looking at his shocked follower who was wordlessly staring back at him.
“Y-yes, Elder!”
“Thank you.”
Bowing as soon as he had been invited in, he composedly walked into the room, closing and locking the door behind him before standing by the entrance.
“… do you want to sit down?”
“No need, I’m just here to assess you.”
Assess?
Out of all the things he had been preparing for, one of the ones the young man had not expected to face was a personal assessment on himself by the leader of the Church, especially at such short notice.
However, despite the sudden situation he had found himself in, he quickly took it in stride and promptly began to focus on clearing it as neatly and efficiently as he could.
“I’m ready.”
“That’s the spirit,” the Elder nodded before continuing, “but preparation and adaptation are two different things. Are you sure you can handle both of them?”
“Y-yes, Elder!”
“And you know that receiving the Goddess’ Gift means that you have to learn how to deal with any heavy responsibilities that come with the massive undertaking. Do you believe that you have what it takes?”
“Yes, Elder!”
“Are you confident that you can beat the next two trials?”
“YES, ELDER!”
“Good, that’s all I have for your personal assessment, thank you,” he gave a satisfied smile and lightly clapped as soon as he heard the final answer.
“Wait, what?”
“It’s simple,” he explained as he walked over and sat on Simon’s bed, “your answers were completely genuine. That’s a sign of strong belief. You have faith in yourself that you will use the Gift for the best of intentions, and that’s all I need to hear.”
“I… I see…”
“Well then, now that the assessment is over, let’s talk about you, Brother Simon.”
“EH?!?”
Simon felt his breathing grow erratic and his heart beat quicker. There were only so many curveballs he could take in one conversation, and in that moment, the Elder of all people was currently throwing as many of them as he could at him with his surprisingly friendly attitude and casual manner of speaking.
In response to his loud surprised shout, the Elder’s smile simply grew even wider as he leaned back on the bed, focusing his gaze on him and continuing to speak chattily.
“So, what’s going on in your life, Brother Simon? Anything new?”
“Um… I’ve been studying for the trials…”
“Good!” he suddenly roared, once again catching him completely off guard, “the fruit of knowledge is always sweet!”
“Y-yeah…” Simon replied as he turned away for a moment, scratching his head in confusion and slight frustration at his uncontrollable nervousness.
“What about your friends? I trust you and Mo… Sister Renare are still close?”
“Closer than before, I believe!” he took a deep breath before answering the question as steadily as he could, while at the same time steeling himself for any devious follow-ups.
“Good, good answer!”
I knew it, the assessment isn’t over. He’s still testing me, and I intend to do as well as I can!
“But…”
Wait, but? But what?
The word automatically sent a chill down his spine as he imagined its potential implications. Had he accidentally said something wrong? Had he not been more specific when he needed to be? The endless possibilities were stressing him out.
“… I am curious about Sister Renare,” the Elder mused as he rubbed his hand along the bedsheets, “she is your mentor, I can understand that, but what I don’t get is why she would be so avoidant towards the Goddess Initiation.”
“Oh. Isn’t it because she failed it a few years ago and chose to skip them as a result?”
“What? No, no, far from it.”
This time, it was the Elder who was genuinely confused by Simon’s answer as he sat up on the bed and leaned closer towards him.
“She’s actually one of the best candidates we’ve ever had in the Church’s history.”
“What?” Simon blinked in disbelief.
“You see, she… and…”
“…”
The Elder’s words stuck to his head like superglue. There was no way that he was going to forget it that easily, considering how surprisingly big the revelation was for him.
So that’s how it is.
“Thank you, Elder,” he grimly remarked, his face dark and his expression conflicted.
“My pleasure. I see you need some time to think to yourself though, so I’ll get out, and you can go back to your studying, if that’s good with you.”
“Yes.”
Even as he answered him, he was no longer paying attention to the Elder as he stood up from the bed and began walking back to the door.
“Oh, and one more thing, Brother Simon.”
Without turning to look at him, he heard the warning that was given to him in a serious tone, much different from the casual one he had heard a few moments prior.
“Whatever you do, no matter what happens in the trials, you have to make sure that you always believe in the Goddess.”
“…”
Taking his silence as a sign of affirmation, the Elder unlocked the door and left the room, leaving Simon to his own thoughts once again.
Sister Renare…
That was the only thing he could think about, the girl who had always stood by his side for years. And now, he knew he had to talk to her again before the trials were over.
I have to know why.
**********************
“Whew… that’s the last time I’m doing a one-on-one with a candidate…”
The Elder wiped his brow as he stood outside Simon’s room, grumbling as he reflected on his attitude that he had exhibited inside in his attempt to assess the candidate.
He had not shown it, and it had thankfully not been picked up on by the young man, but nevertheless, he felt that the conversation had been incredibly awkward and unproductive for him, and he was internally disgusted with himself for the whole time that he had put on his friendly facade.
He had originally planned to visit and talk to the other candidates as well, but after what he had just experienced, he felt that there was no point in doing so anymore.
Regardless, what was more important for him to do now was to complete the second trial’s planning, so without hesitation, he shook off his inner doubts and took a deep breath to calm down.
“… as long as he wins, we’ll be fine. Hopefully, we’ll have no other problems.”
“Elder…”
“Hm?”
Almost as if he had spoken of the devil, one of his elite followers had come up to him while he was pumping himself up, holding a folded piece of paper in his hand with an urgent expression on his face.
“What is it, Father Maxim?”
“I’m sorry for disturbing you Elder, but a message has come for you,” Maxim replied as he held the paper up towards his direction, urging him to take it immediately.
“Who is it from? You can tell me.”
“Well…”
As he opened the paper up and read the message written on it, Maxim soundly gulped as he hesitantly answered him.
“It’s… from the Paradise forces. They say they’ll be overseeing the second trial alongside us. Apparently… because we haven’t had it in a long time, and they want to make sure everything goes well.”
“… I see. Thank you for telling me, Father Maxim.”
Even as he continued to put up a strong face in front of his follower, the Elder could not get rid of the dread growing inside him as soon as the news hit.