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91 - The Black Void of Nothingness

She reveled in her success as the other entity, once more, burned; her enhanced flames were a match for whatever strange healing power it possessed. Expecting the despair radiating from it to grow, she was taken aback when hope and a desire to reach her again shone through from the other entity’s awareness.

She held her soul open, unwilling to reduce the flow of power pouring out until this disgusting thing was dead and gone for good. Through the pain of the river of power, she could feel the promise of the impending rest that would take her when every last trickle of power was spent.

She felt the other one’s perception change as it seemed to reach within itself. Not knowing what it was up to, all she could do was hold the gate open and allow the cleansing flames pouring out to do their work.

She felt it burning away, but it continued to reach for something within. Curious, she extended her senses, small wisps of heat and fire burning deep to increase her awareness.

She found it grasping a vessel—something containing a great alien power. The vessel cracked, and part of what was held within leaked out. It was… wrong. It felt to her like the whisper of an endless void, a place in which fire and flames had neither place nor power.

She realized it was trying to unleash a power that would rival—if not overwhelm—her own.

Fury roiled through her, and she tried to rip her own source of power open even wider. Pain shot through her, a pain so great that her consciousness began to flee. She held onto the anger. She grasped at the injustice of the situation with righteous indignation, using it as a guiding light for her awareness.

Rather than open the gates wider, she squeezed the container of her own soul. With nowhere else to go, more power tore out and left vicious rips around the sides of the opening. Even more flames spun outwards, the scorching heat now out of her control.

The power fled from her in a rush as agony bore her thoughts down. She felt the sleep fast approaching sooner than she had hoped as her power now fled from her in an uncontrolled burst. She no longer had the ability to close the hole, torn as it was, but that wasn’t an issue—she would burn the other from existence before it could release its own power.

Then she would rest.

The other entity ignored her entirely, as it only focused within itself, frustrating her to no end. Thoughts became sluggish as her life-force faded. The torrent from within her didn’t slow, however, continually pouring out through every gap it could find.

With a sharp crack, the world split in half—one side a roaring storm of flame, the other an endless abyss of black and nothingness. She returned her attention to her seeking tendrils with dawning horror.

The entity’s container hadn’t been opened; it had been destroyed.

In the blink of an eye, she felt and saw the void swallow her flames. It wrapped around the storm entirely, engulfing and smothering everything within—herself included. The darkness gazed into her, and the power spewing forth from her core was snuffed out entirely.

It wasn’t that the alien power had fought her flames directly, but that her fire could not exist in such an environment—there was no fuel source for her flames within the expanding void, so they sat within her, unresponsive and unmoving.

She stared into the abyss, and it stared back at her.

Her body went limp as her consciousness was ripped from within and out into the strange expanse.

***

The soul drifted through the void, pulled relentlessly in a single direction. It recalled neither who it was, nor to where it was being shepherded. It did recalled, however, that it both feared and hated whomever was pulling it along. The strange power felt like a vacuum, and the soul knew that the bearer of the power was someone to be despised.

The soul drifted ever onwards, the only discernible passage of movement the feeling of being sucked towards the approaching nexus of power. There were neither lights nor landmarks, the only thing before them a seemingly infinite abyss.

As the soul got closer to the destination, they began seeing visions of the past that were not their own. They felt all the sensations and emotions as if their own; a boy with a debilitating ailment, a sister that loved them wholeheartedly, and a tragic story of addiction, loss, and eventually, the taking of one’s own life.

The soul had no time to ponder the visions as it finally reached its destination. It realized all too late that it had arrived as it felt itself sucked into the dark, swirling vortex at the center of the abyss.

More visions arrived, and with it came a semblance of her own awareness. She saw herself from the perspective of her rival entity. She was the flames of vengeance, the fire that burned all before her, and this being—the same boy with deformed legs that ended his own life—was her hated enemy.

She felt her own flames from his perspective as he made his way towards her. She felt the desperate need to save her, and the love and admiration he had for her. Why did this man feel this way towards her?

She hated him.

“Arika!” he yelled.

Her soul revolted at the hated sound that meant so much, yet so little to her.

Her fire was unable to burn him through some sort of magical protection, and the man doggedly trudged onwards.

“Arika!”

That damn word!

He saved her from an attacker with a dagger that she hadn’t even felt, moving him away somehow and causing the man to explode with light.

“Arika!”

She felt the word trying to bring an awareness with it, but it couldn’t take hold within her.

He continued to push forward, despite a vicious wound on his leg from the attacker. His soul thrummed in response to hers, causing her to question her conviction.

“Arika!”

The word battered at her senses, causing her to feel even more disoriented.

Not a word, a name… but whose name?

The man fell to his knees as his injured leg buckled, and he drank a potion. Searing pain arrived as the flask exploded and shards of glass shot into his face, hand, and throat.

Again, he tried to call that same word, despite a throat ravaged by glass and burning liquid. She realized abruptly that she wanted to hear the word again; the silence left when his throat failed him left her… wanting.

When had the word changed from a source of anger to something she desired?

The last charge of the man’s magical protection expired, and she truly felt the devastation of her flames for the first time. Her soul howled as she felt every bit of pain he had experienced. She became lost in the sensation, unable to comprehend how this man had endured it so many times. She tried to escape, to flee far from this place of burning torture.

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Unfortunately for her, she was only a witness to the man’s conviction.

She felt the first cleansing wave of healing rush over him, and she realized the regenerative power keeping him alive had been neither a hated enemy nor something to vex and confound her—it had been a blessed giver of life.

Relief washed over her as a cool, tingling sensation replaced their joined agony. She felt his clarity arrive with the healing as he contemplated teleporting out of the storm of fire. She begged him to do so, to turn and flee from the pain she knew to be approaching—but she also knew that was not what the man would do.

The man teleported them on top of her; he latched onto her just before the healing wave would expire. She felt the impending wave of fury, anger, and devastating destruction coming from her own body in response to his actions.

“Arika!”

The name hit her like a brick to the brain.

It was her name. She was Arika.

This boy that pursued her—who… who was he? Why would he scream her name and continue to chase her, even as she inflicted such pain upon him?

Her contemplation was burned away as the sensation of healing ran out. Her pursuer was incinerated; she was driven to madness.

She returned to herself some time later as the sensations of burning alive were washed away by another healing wave. The experience had felt like an eternity, most of which she spent wishing to no longer exist. She would welcome the nothingness of the afterlife if it meant she didn’t have to experience that again.

“ARIKA!” he called again as soon as his regenerated throat allowed.

He poured out his emotions towards her; his desire to help her, his need to save her from herself, and his astonishing love towards her—not a love that a young boy would feel for a young girl, but a love born of friendship, comradery, and shared experience. She felt the intention of the boy’s soul and knew that he would do such a selfless act for any of his friends.

How is he so strong? She wondered. How does he feel such powerful emotions of hope and love after experiencing the agony I gifted him?

Arika felt the man’s despair as he realized his outpouring of love was met with radiating hatred from her past self, and that more pain was about to follow. She, too, despaired—both for the folly of her response, and for the agony it was about to cause them.

The healing wave ran out.

A spark of recognition touched her mind.

Orion, she thought. His name is Orion, but who is he?

He tried to scream, but fire rushed into his lungs.

Arika’s awareness fled as Orion’s skin and flesh began to burn.

***

Arika’s awareness was unwillingly dragged back when Orion’s consciousness returned. She felt desensitized to the healing sensation of the potion this time, her soul trying to numb everything rather than feel the burning pain of her flames again.

She felt Orion’s realization that she didn’t recognize him. She felt his decision to open himself up, and she became incredibly sad. How was he able to go through such pain without losing himself? If the roles were reversed, she likely would have fled at the first opportunity, wouldn’t she?

She felt him grab onto the very center of his being. She felt it cracking in his grasp, and she felt her previous self rail in response. His power leeched out through cracks in his orb, and she had ripped open her own soul in response. She felt the tears in her soul even now, the oppressive void of Orion’s soul the only thing keeping it from burning away.

She only realized in that moment what would have happened if Orion hadn’t stopped her from burning it all away—she would have ceased to exist. Not something so simple as dying; she would have disappeared, no trace of her left behind after the power fled. Her attention was scattered by the increased heat of her flames. It burned away flesh just as the healing potion renewed it.

Her awareness was caught between the battle of their souls. She had tried to mend her own circumstance by destroying everything in sight, while he tried to mend everything in sight by destroying his own soul’s container.

In that moment, if her soul could have wept, it would have. She had destroyed everything, including herself, just as Orion had sacrificed himself to save her—a sacrifice she knew would soon go to waste as she inspected her torn and frayed core.

She experienced the shattering of Orion’s container as he gripped and twisted it with everything he had.

Nothingness blanketed everything as Orion’s power was released, and Arika’s mind was thrown far, far away. She was shot into her own memories, and with growing hope and despair, she regained herself completely.

First, she lived through the vision of her past once more. This time, however, Orion’s awareness could be felt there, his own emotions regarding the events felt alongside hers.

Then she began reliving what she had experienced in this world so far.

The ‘justified’ killing of multiple people, and the betrayal of Felsteg and the rest of her party.

Orion, the same boy that had tried to save her upon their first meeting, just as he did on their last.

The frustrating yet enjoyable company of Honeypot.

The reliable presence of Shadow, ever there to provide help.

Femera and the unspeakable bond they formed.

All the adventures they had in such a short amount of time.

The experience of everyone’s memories being returned, and the subsequent grief it brought.

Orion helping her reconcile with those she had hurt and betrayed while under Felsteg’s influence.

Felsteg, the person she despised the most, being the one to try warning them of Cain’s betrayal.

Cain. His dagger plunging into her neck.

She reeled as her memories from after the storm merged with her memories of the past. She had hurt everyone. Part of her was glad that she wouldn’t survive long after Orion’s power ran out, as that meant she wouldn’t have to face them all again.

Orion had shattered the container of his soul into pieces, all in an unsuccessful attempt to save her.

She had killed him… for nothing.

She thought of the pain she had felt when she tore a gap in her own container, such small rents sending waves of agony through her. He had squeezed his own, twisting and grinding until it burst like a water balloon—all the while dealing with the physical pain of her relentless flames.

She was lost to grief, and she fled.

Her soul screamed as it spun off into the endless void, getting as far away from her crimes as possible.

***

Orion felt at peace as his awareness seemed to stretch out to infinity. There were no decisions to make, no past memories, nor a future to stress about—there was simply here and now. The sensation was hard to put into words, so he pondered for a long time as he searched for an apt comparison.

I’m a pancake, he eventually decided. And the universe is my pan.

He was like gooey pancake batter. He—the batter—was as endless as the frying pan was. Ever flowing out, continuously pushing the edges of himself to new, previously unknown places. Content with his new existence—It is new, isn’t it?—he surveyed the ever-growing space within him.

It didn’t take him long to notice someone else being pulled along with him. There were lots of other people inside of his soul, even more becoming part of him with every passing moment, but this particular soul felt… different. It was experiencing time just as he was, unlike the others that were frozen in a sort of stasis.

That’s odd, he thought, as he focused his attention on the wayward soul.

As his focused attention drew nearer, he felt a troubling series of emotions coming from the other soul. It was in a state of extreme distress, and was experiencing a level of emotional pain that seemed the antithesis to his own bliss.

Well, that’s no good, He thought.

What could he do to help this poor soul? He tried to reach out with his awareness, but he found himself unable to interact with it in the slightest. If he were to continue on his path of constant expansion, this other soul would be locked in a perpetual state of emotional turmoil.

He pulled his focused attention back as he thought about his dilemma. Could he just continue expanding and not think about the lost soul? There were plenty of other souls to ponder, after all—nice, quiet, unconscious souls that were frozen in time and not feeling anything, let alone sadness.

Nope, he decided rather quickly. Can’t let someone else suffer perpetually just because I’m having a good time.

He stopped the expansion of his space, and with a force of will, sent it all reeling back towards its point of origin.

Goodbye, friends, He thought at the sea of souls that were presumably unfrozen as they left his sphere of influence.

Before he knew it, his soul was the size it had once been, but there was a problem: the thing that had contained it appeared to be torn into hundreds—if not thousands—of little pieces. Without something to contain it, his presence would just keep expanding, and the other soul would be trapped within him forever, forced to move where he did.

He could see how the container fit together, but there appeared to be no way to repair it.

Oh, what’s that?

He could feel the hint of a memory from the container, a whisper of a time when it was whole.

He reached for it.

***

Arika lost all sense of time as she spun in the nothingness of the void. She had no physical body to cry, so there was no physiologic relief provided to her grieving awareness.

She again went over her actions.

She had caused all of this. She had killed Orion, she…

She was being pulled somewhere again, this time in a different direction. It started off slowly, but within seconds, she was being drawn out at a speed that defied her understanding.

In a matter of moments, the surrounding space was condensed, and while she still saw an endless sea of black in every direction, it felt to be ever shrinking, rather than growing. Before she knew it, the black void of nothingness was replaced with another darkness entirely.