Orion got to his feet, half expecting to see Arika dead against the wall.

Thankfully, she was alive; the green sparkle of her tentacle hat raining down as it healed her.

Merv was charging again, so Orion used his Swap ability to switch positions with the boss.

He’d positioned himself so that Merv’s momentum would take it as far away from everyone as possible, but the delay because of his reposition had come at a cost.

The boss reached Arika with its clawed paw just as Orion used Swap, the sword-like extensions slashing across her front and leaving bright-red lines in their wake.

After swapping positions, the boss’ momentum carried it into a headfirst collision with the wall. It tried to skid to a stop, but one of its paws landed just on the edge of the green pool, its foot slipping in, unable to find purchase.

Merv let out another “REEEEEEEEEE” of pain and anger before turning to face them.

It was bleeding from cuts on its face where its head became acquainted with the wall, and its front left leg was… smoking?

Orion looked closer and saw that the skin looked burnt and puckered where its leg had slipped into the green pool.

“Protect Arika, I have a plan!” Orion turned and ran toward her.

“You really think you have a chance of protecting your friend?”

Merv started charging again, a little slower this time, as he limped on his injured leg.

“You’re all dead!”

Before Merv could cover much distance, he was stunned by Honeypot again, who started slashing away with his scimitar.

Shadow also reached the boss as it was stunned, unleashing another Vicious Blow on the other side of its neck. He then hit the naked mole-boss repeatedly, like it was a pinata that owed him candy.

Orion reached Arika while the boss was stunned and whispered his plan into her ear. She gave a small nod in response and they both turned toward the boss, waiting for the inevitable charge.

As expected, the second the boss was no longer stunned, it charged directly for Arika’s position. It must have really loved its now-gone fur, because the thing was holding a serious grudge.

They held their ground, waiting for the last possible moment.

As it was just about to reach them, Orion teleported to the middle of the cavern, taking Arika with him and leaving the boss to smash headfirst into the wall again.

“RRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” it bellowed, raising its head to show a shattered nose and bleeding face.

“Do you foolish humans know how long it takes to grow a good coat of fur? How long it takes to get the smell just right? I will be the laughingstock of my colony. I will kill you. Even if I can’t, my boss will kill you!”

“Your boss?” Honeypot asked. “Slime monster, about my height, heaps of creepy tentacles?”

“Ahh, so you’ve heard of him?” Merv let out a laugh that sounded wet and wrong, likely because of his smashed face. “Then you also know how doomed you are, human.”

“Oh, we already killed him,” Arika said. “He’s like, super dead. Can’t you see the tentacle hats we’re wearing? We got that from killing him and defeating his dungeon. The same way we’re about to kill you and defeat your dungeon—I wonder what goodies your corpse will provide us?”

“You lie!” The boss contorted its disfigured face and charged at Arika again.

Either Merv’s anger fueled his charge, or he’d used an ability, because he took off at a speed much faster than earlier. He raised his clawed paw, ready to use the power of his body and momentum to finish her.

Time slowed as the paw descended.

As soon as Arika and Orion had teleported to the center of the room, he’d run as fast as he could to the edge of the green pool at the other end of the room. He’d been worried about the cooldown of his ability, but the creatures taunting and boasting had given him plenty of time.

As it charged Arika in answer to her taunts, Orion ran toward the pool, leaping out as far as he could. He fell toward the acidic liquid, his instincts fighting his actions every step of the way.

The boss’ speed surprised him, but he had enough time. The moment before the descending paw connected with Arika, he used Swap again.

The naked-mole-rat-looking boss appeared above the pool in Orion’s previous position, unleashing a mighty swipe at open air.

Merv plunging down into the green liquid.

His smoking form unleashed a series of horrible screams before slowly sinking out of sight. The only evidence left of the boss’ existence were the bubbles and acrid smoke incessantly rising from the center of the pool.

They walked toward the edge of the pool and looked down at the roiling liquid.

“Damn it…” Shadow said, staring where the boss had sunk with a forlorn expression.

“What’s wrong?” Orion asked with wide eyes, worried that the fight wasn’t over.

“I had a really good finishing move to yell, but I didn’t use it at the start. I saved it because it would have been way cooler to use at the end as a finishing blow.”

Honeypot walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

“Don’t worry, buddy. You can use it next time.”

“It just won’t be the same…”

“I know, buddy… I know.”

Arika and Orion looked at each other and shrugged.

Notifications came, interrupting the moment.

You have advanced Dungeon Hunter from level 1 to level 2. Congratulations!

You have advanced Dungeon Hunter from level 2 to level 3. Congratulations!

You have advanced Portal from level 3 to level 4. Congratulations!

You have advanced Swap from level 1 to level 2. Congratulations!

You have advanced Swap from level 2 to level 3. Congratulations!

Critical Quest updated: Cull the Doc

Progress: 1/4

"Well that's a bunch of bullshit!" Honeypot complained. "I didn't get a single level!"

Orion shrugged.

"I guess the bulk of the experience was for the world-first. At least my abilities received the same amount of growth as last time."

Orion’s Portal and Swap advanced to level four and level three, Shadow’s Silent Speed and Vicious Blow advanced to level three and level four, Arika’s Invoke and Explosion advanced to level two and level four, and Honeypot’s Chastise and Stealth advanced to level three and level five. Everyone’s Dungeon Hunter ability advanced to level three.

As had happened with the previous dungeon, there was a flash of light, and a chest appeared in the center of the room, this time giving off purple light.

They all moved to loot the chest, and Orion received an epic monster item: ‘Merv’s Good Eye’.

He received a notification when he looted it.

New unique quest added!

Unique Quest: Turn in a Blind Eye

You have killed and desecrated the corpse of Merv the Mole. Find an Alchemist in Valbrand that has the skill to work with such an item.

Maybe it will ease your conscience if you actually do something with the ocular souvenir you have acquired. Probably not, but you never know. Frankly, I’m surprised you even have the cognitive capability to feel remorse.

Reward: variable

A single word in the new quest intrigued Orion: ‘Alchemist’. It had been both capitalized and italicized by the System, which seemed of particular significance.

I wonder if that’s confirmation that it’s a learnable profession…

“Did everyone else loot the eye?” he asked.

“An eye?” Honeypot glanced at him. “I got a pair of stupid gloves that are a downgrade from the ones I got from Felsteg—it’s hard being so well-equipped sometimes. What’s a priest gotta do to get another upgrade?”

I thought after the last chest we’d always get the same loot, but I guess that isn’t the case.

“I got a new breastplate that gives two armor!” Shadow equipped it, the new piece of gear going well with his other gear.

Honeypot whistled.

“Lookin’ good, big guy!”

He turned to Orion.

“What’s the eye all about?”

Orion explained the drop and subsequent quest.

“Ooohhh, that sounds promising.” Shadow rapped his knuckles on his new armor and turned to Arika. “What did you get?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Smelling weakness, Honeypot sidled up beside her.

“Why, Arika?” A shit-eating grin spread across his face. “Did you get something ugly?”

She let out an exhausted sigh.

“The Intellect bonus is too good to pass up, so I guess I should just get this out of the way.”

She equipped her new pair of shoes.

Honeypot roared with laughter.

“You look like a walking Christmas ornament!”

The shoes she wore were the bright green of the pool in the cavern, clashing violently with her bright-red robe.

As they walked out of the dungeon, Orion checked his abilities to see how leveling had changed them.

Portal

Tier 1 Level 4

Cooldown: 30 seconds

Create a portal that leads to another location within 12 meters of the caster. Others can also be teleported if they are touching the caster, and the caster wills it.

Swap

Tier 1 Level 3

Cooldown: 14 seconds

Swap any two friendly (self included) or enemy targets within 10 meters of the caster.

So Portal has had its range increased by two meters while leaving its cooldown the same, while Swap has had its cooldown decreased by a second while leaving the range the same… I’ll have to monitor the changes as they continue to progress.

He relayed his finding to the party.

“Yeah, that’s how it works,” Shadow said. “My damage on Vicious Blow goes up, but it seems the cooldown on Silent Speed goes down.”

“Explosion damage increases, while Invoke didn’t change at all,” Arika said as she unequipped her tentacled hat, vaguely improving her appearance. “Don’t give me that look, Honeypot. The heal can’t be triggered for another day.”

“But it goes so well with your new booties—ah, why am I trying?” He shook his head at her. “Look at your gloves—you have terrible taste in fashion.”

Arika glared.

Honeypot grinned, then turned to Orion.

“My Stealth increases in effectiveness, whatever that means, and the cooldown on Chastise goes down.”

“So they’re all different…” he mused. “We’ll have to monitor and communicate changes.”

After what felt like hours, Orion spotted the exit of the dungeon.

“Honeypot, would you mind checking for baddies?”

“Aye, sir!” Honeypot was fading out of view as he activated Stealth. “Already on it!”

He reappeared not long after.

“Just so we’re all aware, if I had the energy, I would have messed with you guys when I came back in here.”

Arika rolled her eyes.

“We know, Honeypot.”

“Good. Let’s pretend I came back in here and did something equal parts humorous and frustrating.”

***

When they arrived back in town, Orion grabbed Honeypot’s attention.

“Could you give me directions to that apothecary you mentioned?”

Honeypot shot him an askew glance.

“Now? Don’t you want to, you know, sleep?”

“I want to chase this up as soon as possible. I have an idea…”

After receiving detailed directions from Honeypot, and only getting mildly lost on the way, Orion arrived at a store labeled ‘Concoctions by Carl’.

By the time he got there, the sun had set, and the spherical lamps bathed the street in their beautiful light.

The shopfront sat at the bottom level of what looked like the medieval equivalent of apartment housing, the orange glow of the lamps making it look like a scene out of a comfy fantasy novel.

He knocked and entered the store after noticing the door was open.

As he stepped inside, an acrid haze that permeated throughout the store immediately assaulted his senses. His eyes stung, and the air felt almost solid as it passed through his throat and down into his lungs. The air smelled like a mix of peaty soil and something synthetic.

“Hey! We’re closed!” came a gravelly voice from an indiscernible location.

“I’m just here to ask a question. It won’t take long.”

“No after hours business—ever! No exceptions!”

A trap door Orion hadn’t previously noticed swung open violently, and a crotchety old man came stomping up into the room.

The man, who Orion assumed was Carl, looked to be at least a hundred years old, with more skin on his head than hair. What little hair remained was bone white, and he had a beard that stretched all the way to the ground, which was less impressive than one might assume, considering he was four-foot-nothing.

“I have a quest, and I was wondering if you knew an alchemist with the skill to process this?”

Orion presented him with ‘Merv’s Good Eye’.

“A quest item? Why didn’t you say so?” He waved the item away and started stepping back down the trapdoor. “Kids these days, no sense between the dang lot of them. Wasting old Dave’s time with pleasantries and platitudes, not getting straight to the heart of things. I’m getting too old for this…”

The voice of the man—who was evidently named Dave, not Carl—trailed off as he got too far away for Orion to hear the mutterings.

His head abruptly burst up through the opening again.

“Well? Are you coming? It’s already after hours, waste no more of old Dave’s time!” He dropped back down, out of sight.

Orion walked over and peered down the hole into the unknown. He could see earthen walls, lit softly by an artificial-looking light.

Shrugging to himself, he followed Dave down the hole.