I can officially say I dislike medical exams.

Too touchy and feel-y. I numbed my mind and allowed the nurses and doctors to do their thing with my fuzzy furred body. Lots of scanning, inspecting, and unnecessary probing and prodding–to say the least. I was like an abducted subject splayed out on a cold metal table under blaring white lights, surrounded by whirring machinery. But at least it was over. Finally, until I got injured or sick and had to go back again, that is. *sigh*

Anyway, Charlie and the gang were finally done with the Pokemon Center. And Pidgeotto became a Metapod! Haha! The poor bird friend of mine was encased in a full-body cast! The hard bulking cast that kept his bones correctly positioned made Pidgeotto look like the cocoon Pokemon. It would take about two weeks or so to heal his broken bones.

The worst part being that my bird friend would have to stay inside the dreadful Pokeball to rest, only coming out with some breaks for some grub. Don’t blame Charlie, though. It was the birdbrain’s choice. I could never understand why anyone would choose to be stuck inside one of those dang prison-like balls.

Besides Pidgeotto, Squirtle was examined too. The oddball actually liked the exams, probably because he especially liked Chansey. Couldn’t blame him, though. Chansey was like a sweet old lady, who instead of offering home-baked cookies, gave personally soft-boiled eggs. Even better than cookies, I say.

Chansey’s eggs were divine. Which reminds me, Charlie still had another one of the eggs that Chansey gave me. However, everything aside, Squirtle had little damage, except for maybe some cuts on his face from the sharp Vine Whips of that deep-voiced badass, Bellsprout.

But as for me, all I needed to know was that I was okay. Actually, I was more than okay—super healthy even–minus the burnt bald spots of skin that were slowly healing and growing back with some little hairs of my lost yellow fur. I don’t think Pikachu’s ever go bald—one of man’s worst nightmares—so I was a happy camper.

I also worried not about my missing patches of fur because the item ‘Burn Heal’ does wonders. I always thought it was annoying to buy one heal for each status affliction. So typically, in the games, I would only buy Full Heals—a cure-all for all ailments. More expensive, but I was a lazy kid. Full heal was kind of like a general painkiller, I guess? It alleviated many symptoms, except for fainting.

Anyway, I digress.

Onward with my current state.

I lay like a lifeless dead Pikachu, head flopped over and dangling from Charlie’s arm as he stepped through the automated glass sliding doors of the Pokemon Center that closed behind us.

“Cheer up, Sax. The check-up wasn’t so bad, was it? Just the same like earlier with Sir Gary.”

Charlie didn’t need to remind me. Scarred, scarred for life. The experience still haunts me from when that dang Gym Leader lifted the fur of my lower region and openly flashed all things meant to be kept private to Charlie. I was still terribly ashamed.

I replied to Charlie in a robotic tone, still with my head drooped over in lost dignity. “Sax is currently not available. His spirit ran off due to embarrassment. Please try again later.”

“You’re a funny Pikachu, Sax.” Charlie giggled. “I know! I think something yummy might help your spirit return. How about it, buddy?”

My head immediately lifted up, long ears flipping vertically—straight and alert. I turned my head, eyes gleaming with life once more as I looked up at Charlie. “Real human food?!”

“You want human food, Sax?” Charlie said, tilting his head. “Have you had it before?”

“Yeah. All the time! But recently, I had enough of Oran Berry S’mores. Plus, Pidgeotto ate them all. But oh, how I miss a good burger! Oh, hey! How about also grabbing me some bags of chips while you’re at it, Charlie? Do you guys have any of the cheesy flavors here?”

Charlie grabbed and pulled out his extremely flat and extremely empty wallet. “Sorry, Sax. I am kind of broke right now. We will have to wait for the salty snacks. Unfortunately, the Pokemon Center only offers cheap but healthy options and only Pokeblocks for Pokemon.”

Pokeblocks…Pokeblocks…Pokeblocks…

Charlie’s voice that repeatedly said, “Pokeblocks,” echoed in my mind. My heart broke and shattered. All I could see was dog food in a shiny metal doggie bowl. I started to hallucinate. I thought I saw a mirage of my bags of salty chips flying past my head and up away like the Butterfree in the sky. Oh wow! Butterfree! Mmm, smell that sweet fragrance coming off their soft wings!

However, my intrusive thoughts were further intruded by my grumbling stomach, which refused to eat Pokeblocks, and also intruded by the cool trainer, Grant. With his blue cap tilted down, he strode over with his long legs and lean-built figure. Also tagging along by his side was that wannabe gangster Pokémon, Charmander.

Grant looked at me with what I thought was a belittling face—could be just because of the angle of his hat, dunno. He then looked back at Charlie, saying, “Hey, you want to battle? I think my Charmander wants to fight your Pikachu.”

“Char! Char! Char!”

I gulped at the intimidating Charmander, who slightly leaned towards me with his chest puffed out. He stomped his feet while swiping his claws in the air in my direction. The dang lizard said something rude to me. I just know it! What exactly, I wasn't sure. But I could tell by his tone. Since I was talking to Charlie in human speech earlier, my Pokemon Translator skill wasn’t on, and I only heard Charmander angrily repeating part of his name.

Switching back to Pokemon talk, I politely asked in my gangster persona, “Pika, Pika, Pikachu?!” Meaning, “What the hell did you say, you fire lizard?!”

Charmander replied, “Dipshit, rodent! Get’cha self down ‘ere so I can whoop yer ass!”

Feisty, that one. I huffed and smirked, nuzzling into Charlie’s chest. “Make me!”

He scowled at me like he was angry—angry jealous, that is! I scoffed, “Ha! Ooh! I get it. You jealous, ain’t cha. Well, too bad, jealous lizard. Too bad your trainer doesn’t hug you like Charlie here does. You must be putting on your tough Pokemon front because of trainer daddy issues.”

“Shut up! I ain’t got no such issues! No more excuses! You a wimp or what?! Fight me!”

I wasn’t offended. I wasn’t a chicken or a Pokemon, not really, anyway. I was more interested in the thought of chicken, though.

“Oh, hey! Before the fighting. Do you know anything about chicken? Are there chickens here? What about fried chicken? The crispy kind? Maybe the original recipe? I’ll take spicy too!”

“Stop shittin’ nonsense! You tryin’ to start crap! Get down here and brawl it out with meh like a real Pokémon!”

Guess there’s no chicken. I wonder what Pokémon they would use to make fried chicken?

The impatient Charmander kept at it. I tapped my chin, tilting my head as my long ears flipped over. I tried recalling if I ever did what Charmander accused me of.

Shitting nonsense? Maybe. Starting a fight? When did I ever? I did say he was cool and tried to be friends, didn’t I? The bro got it all wrong. He wanted to fight, not me.

Charlie cut in, saying to the cool trainer, Grant, “Sure, you want to bet some Pokedollars on the battle?”

I immediately ignored the angry rambling Charmander upon hearing ‘Pokedollars.’ Pokedollars. Money. Money means food. Food means snacks. Snacks mean chips! Salty yummy chips! Hurrah!

I stretched and wiggled free from Charlie’s hold, climbing his shirt to his shoulder and whispered, “How much money you got? You know what, Charlie, it doesn’t matter. Bet it all on me. The Grant guy looks rich anyway. However, you have to buy me cheesy chips, okay?”

Charlie gave me a funny look but chuckled, “Okay, Sax.” My trainer then looked at the confused duo who would be our opponents and said, “How about we bet 4000 Pokedollars?”

My head jerked over as my round black eyes widened with disbelief. I whispered a shout back into Charlie’s ear, “You have 4000 Pokedollars?! Where?”

“Yeah, in my savings account,” Charlie whispered back.

I gulped. The kid literally bet all of his savings on my fight. Dang it, Sax. Me and my big mouth.

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“Deal!” Grant shouted. “One-on-one, the winner takes all! Thanks for the free money, bro! Ahaha!”

Damn it, now I have to be serious. However, I smirked at Grant and Charmander. Sorry, Grant, but you're going to be financing my salty snacks for a long time coming!

“Pika!” I said with much excitement, meaning, “You’re on!”

“Alright, let’s head over to the battle area,” Charlie said with a grin, walking around the side of the Pokemon Center.

I felt like we walked onto a series of large tennis courts but composed of dirt instead of cement. Kind of like the French tennis courts I saw on television. Many other trainers were battling, calling out attacks for their Pokemon. I looked on, feeling the rush and excitement of battle. It was soon my turn as Charlie and Grant found an open battlefield.

“This one works for you?” Grant asked.

“Yup! Let’s do this!”

Heading towards the opposite side with Charmander, Grant nonchalantly responded, “Don’t cry to me later if you lose all your money…uh, what was your name again? I’m Grant by the way.”

“I’m Charlie, and don’t worry, Grant. You’re the one going to be doing the crying. Let’s go, Sax!”

“Pikaaa!” I shouted, leaping off Charlie and landing on the ground with a skid that left a dust cloud in my trail. Sparks flared dangerously from my cheeks. I spoke in Pokemon, ready for battle. “Pokedollars! Chips! Pokedollars! CHIPS! POKEDOLLARS!!! CHIIIPPSSS!!!”

I chanted manically, making Charmander shudder at my crazed face.

“Get yourself together, Charmander! You ready, Charlie? On the count of three, ready?!”

Charmander slapped his cheeks, concentrating on the impending battle. I was ready to win.

“Yeah!” Charlie replied.

The two counted down simultaneously, “Three, Two, One! Battle!”

“Charmander! Ember now! Follow up with scratch!”

“Sax! Dodge backward and hit Charmander with Thundershock!”

“Chaaar-maander!” The fire lizard hissed, spitting out scattered red flames that flew in my direction.

I followed Charlie’s orders, leaping backward and jumping over the small waves of fire that burnt the ground. Moving back midair, I squeezed electricity from my body, discharged it from my cheeks, and sent a jolt of lightning straight at the oncoming Charmander, who pulled back his arm, readying himself to scratch me with his claws.

The damn fire Pokemon had much gusto! He took my attack in full while still rushing forward!

“The hell?! You a rock type or something!? Why didn’t that hurt you!”

“You’re too weak!” Charmander replied, electricity still rippling from his body while swiping his sharp claws at me. I easily turned and dodged his short limbs, but Charmander spun fully around, using his longer tail to smack me.

However, two can play the tail whip game! I followed suit. The lizard’s thick scaly tail smacked my back as I turned.

“Pii!” I grunted, taking the hit. But as I fully turned around, Charmander’s tail slid off while my long nimble tail whipped Charmander across the cheek. Honestly, his tough tail hurt more, but my smack to Charmander’s face bruised his ego.

The fire Pokemon growled, baring his fangs at me. “Ya dare hit my handsome face!”

My eyebrow could not help but arch up. He cared about his looks in this situation? However, as I was about to slap that handsome face with my tail once more, Grant shouted an attack. I didn’t like what I heard was coming next.

“Dragon’s Breath, let’s go!” Grant shouted.

“Dragon’s Breath? How do you know that!?” I shouted at Charmander in alarm. He is not a low-level Pokemon!

“Sax! Quick attack, knock it off course!”

Damn right, I’m going to knock it off course!

A fiery but foul, luminescent green glow burned inside Charmander’s mouth. Taking a deep breath, the lizard Pokemon pulled back his head, about to shoot his breath attack right at my face point blank.

“Ah, hell nah! Don’t try to stink me to death!” I was not going to take Charmander’s breath to my face.

Applying Quick Attack more to my arms and the rest to my feet, I immediately leaned into Charmander in a lowered stance. Using the momentum from Quick Attack that spurred up from the base of my feet, I moved forward and upward, channeling the kinetic energy rushing into my palm—launching it straight into Charmander's jaw.

“Keep your breath to yourself! I shouted as my upward Buddha Palm technique—imitated from a Kung Fu movie—combined with Quick Attack, connecting and snapping Charmander’s snout shut.

The fire lizard Pokémon lifted off the floor and crashed backward, landing with his back to the ground. I was not done brawling with Charmander yet! I’d teach him a lesson he’d never forget!

His mouth still burned with the flames of his Dragon’s Breath, blasting it out on reflex as he crashed. He was too close, and the attack was too fast. The glowing luminescent green flames were immediately upon me, hitting me, but luckily angled off as Charmander’s head jerked up.

I only faced a partial blast, but it knocked me slightly skidding back as I used my arms to guard and leaned forward. My arms radiated with burning pain, but I needed to focus.

“Charmander! Another Dragon’s Breath!”

Yeah, right, Grant! I would not allow Charmander to use another one on me.

“Sax! Quick Attack! Stop him!”

I lowered my body, feet kicking off the ground, and flashed over using both hands to flip Charmander onto his belly. He squirmed, letting out small blasts of the Dragon's Breath in my direction.

I leaped over the fire, flipping midair onto the lizard’s back and right into a Body Slam—a move I didn’t have but could make up! Charmander gasped for air as my full body weight slammed his back. Charmander kept squirming, trying to turn around and blast me with more fire.

“Dang it, turn off that breath!”

However, the lizard Pokemon refused, still brewing the dragon-type attack in his mouth. I had enough of his dangerous move! Mounting Charmander, I locked my legs around his back, kicking back his knees that tried to pull into his stomach to push him into standing. I would not let the lizard stand or shoot that accumulating Dragon’s Breath! I leaned forward, pressing down on top of his snout, sealing any hopes for his breath attack to escape.

“Charmander! Get that Pikachu off of you! Scratch!”

Ha! Poor choice, Grant!

Try as Charmander might, he flailed his short limbs uselessly in the air. His claws grazed my fur, giving it a good comb, but could not hurt me.

However, I groaned, “Piiii.” My hands were tired from holding down Charmander’s wiggling snout.

“Sax! Another Thundershock!”

Electricity blitzed out of my cheeks as I blasted out a Thundershock and kept the thunder juice from my cheeks flowing, waiting to see how long the fire lizard could hold out against my electrocuting attack.

Who’s going to last longer?! My electricity reserves, or you, Charmander!

“Maaaarrr!” Charmander’s muffled cry sounded painful as his belly enlarged. The raging trapped Dragon’s Breath swelled within the bloated lizard. My feet started lifting off the ground, and I lost hold of pressing Charmander’s snout close. The Dragon Breath came furiously blasting out, kicking me off while Charmander skidded across the battlefield like a full balloon of Dragon’s Breath that quickly deflated while flying around erratically.

I leaped and dodged, playing skip rope with the blazing lines of Dragon’s Breath that sporadically sprayed around. It was too close of a call, playing limbo with dragon’s fire. I wasn’t hit directly, but the growing yellow hairs of my bald spots singed and shrunk from the heat. Dang it! I barely recovered some hair!

“Charmander! Hold on! Smokescreen then hit that dang Pikachu where it hurts! Dig!”

“Chaaaar!” The fire Pokemon uttered a low growl as he came to a full stop and blasted out a dark cloud of smoke from his mouth that covered the entire battlefield. I heard the sharp clawing of the ground as Charmander quickly dug into the earth.

“Sax! Be careful! Use Quick Attack to get away at the moment Charmander comes out!”

I nodded my head as the dark smoke overtook me. Covering my mouth, I narrowed my eyes and scoffed, “Hmpf, Dig, is it? We have some pretty similar tastes in attack styles, Charmander! Let’s play again!”

I followed suit and burrowed into the ground. I used Dig, too! However, an ingenious idea came to mind! I would partially follow Charlie’s command but also add my own twist! “Dig! And also Quick Attack!”

My hands glowed white, combining the two attacks, and rapidly moved like lightning. “Whao!” I shouted, amazed at the crazy increased speed I dug at. I drilled through the earth at a crazy fast rate, launching dirt around me as I tunneled forward.

I recalled Grant’s command, repeating the orders, “Hit him where it hurts, right, Grant? Let me show you how it’s done!” I paused, panting while letting my stamina recover. The combined attack was definitely tiring. The fur of my chin dripped with sweat, but I wasn’t taking a break. No, my ears stood alert, listening for Charmander.

I heard a rumble coming ahead. “Got you, you fire lizard!”

I grinned in the darkness and immediately used both Dig and Quick Attack, drilling deeper into the earth.

“POKEDOLLARS! CHIPS! POKEDOLLARS! CHIPS!” I chanted, smelling victory as I tore through the ground.

I dug right under the unsuspecting lizard Pokemon and quickly situated my body into a curled crouch, leg muscles tensed and ready to spring into action. Preparations were complete. I launched my attack!

Kicking off the earth with a Quick Attack, I launched straight up using Dig and burst through the thin layer of dirt between me and Charmander. My fists connected with Charmander’s soft belly, punching deep into his guts and rearranging his insides as I uppercutted Charmander through the ground and into the air.

Dust, dirt, rocks, the little remaining smokescreen: they all shot up along with Charmander, who exhaled out all the air from his lungs.

“Cha-haaar.”

The ground attack, combined with my Quick Attack, was super effective on the fire-type Pokemon! My uppercut knocked Charmander curling into his stomach as he flew into the air. I followed right after him. I wouldn’t give the fire lizard a break!

Having the wind knocked out of him, Charmander was momentarily out of it. But it was my chance!

I grabbed Charmander by the tail, pulling it over my shoulder. I heaved, curling my abdomen inwards, yanking my arms downwards, and slammed Charmander, head first, over my shoulder and right into the ground with a low thud. My last attack sent out a small wave of dust from where Charmander crashed, but he surprisingly still struggled to get up! The tenacious bastard!

Panting and moaning in pain, Charmander still threatened me! “Agghh. This ain’t over yet! I’m gonna beat the shit outta ya! Wait till I-“

“CHIPS!!! Take this! Thundershock!” I electrocuted Charmander once more.

“Aaaaargh!”

“Charmander! No! Can you get up?! Hurry and use Ember!”

His head finally flopped to the ground, unmoving, fainted, and down for the count. A burnt smell of roasting meat wafted from gray lines of smoke coming from Charmander’s body.

“Charmander!” Grant called out, rushing to his Pokemon’s side. I guess Grant wasn’t a bad guy either, seeing how worried he was.

Charlie excitedly hurried over. “Sax! You did it! What were those moves?! Dig? Uppercut? Seismic Toss? What else do you know, Sax!”

I scratched the back of my tilting head. “Pika?” I just moved reflexively. I shrugged but quickly hopped over to Charlie’s shoes and pulled them, motioning my trainer to hurry and grab my four thousand Pokedollars.

Yey! Chips!