Ash’s POV
The three of us materialized in the room that Leo and I pretend to share. We all then walked calmly to the living area, where I saw Mike drinking at one of the tables. I gave a nod in his direction, and Leo nodded back, as he and Xavier left to sort out their part of the plan. According to Leo, most plans of this nature tend to fail due to the perpetrators acting suspiciously beforehand, so the two of them would be calmly walking towards the center of the Capital, where he intended to cast the spell. He wanted to save as much mana as he could for the actual casting, so they couldn’t just turn themselves invisible and fly over. This gave me a few hours to round up everyone and get them all to safety.
I walked over to Mike’s table and asked him, “Where are Liz and Aozia?”
He just kept drinking from his bottle, not bothering to answer my question. “Dammit Mike, this is important, shit’s about to go down, I need to know where they are!”
Mike stayed silent.
Impatient, I slammed my hand down on the table, and told him, “Stop ignoring me Mike, what the hell’s the matter with you? Tell me where they went!”
Finally, he responded, shouting back at me, “I DON’T FUCKING KNOW ASH. THEY’RE GONE.”
I don’t have time for this. Depending on what part of town they went to, by the time I got there, the riots could have started. Thankfully I still had the telepathy channel, so if I needed more time I could let him know. “Mike, I need details, what part of town did they go to?”
He just shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I meant they’re GONE. They fucking ran off. Liz ran off with the goddamn merchant.”
Wait…What? But…Huh? When the hell…Why? So many questions flooded through my mind that I couldn’t figure out which one to ask first. I took a seat, and just said, “Tell me what happened.”
Mike sighed, and began the story.
Once upon a time there was a bluebird. This bluebird wanted to fly, to explore the world, but there was a problem. The bluebird was very important to the nest where she lived, and very rich, but in the outside world, she wouldn’t be important, and she would have nothing. The bluebird didn’t want to live that kind of life, so she stayed in her nest, watching the other birds leave, and growing more and more envious of them. As the years passed, the bluebird became colder, and colder, in the hopes that one day, she would just stop caring about the outside world.
But then, one day, beneath her tree, there was a white rabbit. The rabbit told the bluebird beautiful stories about the outside world, reigniting her desire to fly, to see it for herself. And the best part? The rabbit was a very rich merchant, someone very important in the company that he worked for. The bluebird felt hope for the first time in years, hope that she could actually have everything that she wanted.
And so the two of them hatched a plan. Starting out as a merchant is very expensive, so if she wanted to become one, she would need to find a way to gather a lot of money first, but the rabbit told her what to do. There was a fox who was in love with the bluebird, and there was a little wolfcat in love with the fox. The rabbit told her to accept the fox’s feelings, and that way they would be able to tell the fox what to do. And if they could tell the fox what to do, then they’d be able to get him to tell the wolfcat what to do. And in this way, they could slowly and steadily trick the fox and the wolfcat into giving them everything that they wanted.
They were going to convince the two of them to spend all of their money first, and then, the rabbit was going to offer them a ‘helping hand’. He would let them borrow some of his money, so that they could spend that to get what they need, and in exchange, when they paid him back, they’d give him a little extra. Then, when they arrive in a new place, they would work hard, and make some more money to pay him back, including the extra he’d asked them for, but then they’d be right back where they started, with no money, but needing some to buy the things that they needed. Again, the rabbit would offer them his ‘helping hand’. The bluebird would also remind them that they could trust the rabbit, and encourage them to spend all of their money in every town.
Town after Town, year after year, the same thing would happen every time, every single penny that the fox and the wolfcat earned would have ended up in the rabbit’s pocket. This was the plan that the two had come up with…but…there was something that they hadn’t expected. One day, before the plan could fall into place, the wolfcat had made a friend, a wandering bear. The bluebird was worried, because the bear was strong, and could eat both of them easily, but the rabbit calmed her down.
He said that this was an opportunity for them to earn even more money. After all, because the bear was strong, he could earn even more than the other two did. And so, the rabbit and the bluebird let the bear join their group, hoping to trick him the same way that they were planning on tricking the fox and the wolfcat. Along the way, it seemed to the bluebird and the rabbit that the bear fell in love with the wolfcat, so they were relieved. If they could control the wolfcat, then they could control the bear too, and trick him into spending all of his money.
However, that’s where they were wrong. A few months later, they found out just how strong the bear really was. The bluebird grew scared of him yet again, and what’s even worse, is that they found out that the bear had never actually fallen in love with the wolfcat, meaning that they had no way to control him. The bluebird wanted to leave the bear, and stick with just the fox and the wolfcat, but the wolfcat refused to leave the bear behind. Because of this, for them to make enough money for this trip to be worth it, the rabbit convinced the bluebird to stick to the plan. After all, maybe they’d get lucky and the bear would spend all of his money anyway. Besides, while the bear may not be in love with the wolfcat, he still very clearly cared about her. So while they maybe couldn’t control him, that didn’t mean that they couldn’t influence him a little, by controlling the wolfcat.
And then, one year later, they were finally ready to put their plan into action. The rabbit told everyone that they needed to stay in the City that they’d arrived in, because they’d all be able to make a lot of money there. The whole group agreed, and the plan was ready to rumble. They were going to a place where yes, they might be able to make a lot of money, but on the other hand, they would end up spending a lot more, due to how expensive everything was.
Three things then went wrong. The first problem was that the fox wasn’t happy in his relationship with the bluebird. The bluebird never actually loved the fox in the first place after all, and after a year, the fox was beginning to notice this. He was even talking about ending things, and if he did, then the rabbit and the bluebird would have no way to control the fox, and if they couldn’t control the fox, then they couldn’t control the wolfcat, and if they couldn’t control the wolfcat, then they couldn’t influence the bear. However, they took care of this problem, and the bluebird started pretending to love the fox even more than before.
The second problem occurred when the bear ended up eating a certain pack of wolves, and ended up getting a lot of money because of it. This meant that it would be significantly harder for him to end up running out of money, and also, if the wolfcat ran out of money, she would be far more likely to ask the bear for help than asking the rabbit. This plan now would only work if the bear ended up spending all of his money as well, so now, the pair of them started trying to figure out ways to get the bear to empty his pockets.
However, the third problem is the one that really brought their plan to a complete stop. It occurred when the fox, out of concern for the bluebird, warned her not to spend all of her money. He told her that if she did, then the rabbit might try to offer her a ‘helping hand’ and then she would end up getting caught in a loop of borrowing his money, and paying him back more than she borrowed in the first place, not knowing that this was indeed the plan, and that the bluebird was part of it. The bluebird asked the fox why he would think that the rabbit would do something like that, and at that moment, the rabbit and the bluebird both realized something. The bear was incredibly smart, and had seen their plan coming from a mile away, and had warned the people around him not to fall for it.
At every turn, it seemed like the bear was there to stop all of their plans. The rabbit wanted to try to secretly kill the bear, so that the fox and the wolfcat would be stuck with just the rabbit and the bluebird, and that way they could try to get the original plan to work again, but the bluebird told him not to. She was still incredibly frightened of the bear, and knew that if they failed, he would devour the both of them. They needed a new plan, this one had fully and completely failed.
The one good thing about all of this, is that the rabbit and the bluebird were currently in a place where extremely large quantities of money pass through each and every hand on a daily basis, and there was about to be a large festival in which it would be especially easy to make lots of money. And so, every day in the months leading up to the festival, the rabbit and the bluebird would go out, trying to make a new plan for getting a lot of money.
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One day, the pair of them ended up meeting a certain group of travelers. Adventurers, all of whom were a little bit dumb, and all of them vying for the bluebird’s attention. The rabbit and the bluebird thought about it, and realized that they could work with this. They could pull off the same plan that they had originally made, but just switched the targets to this new group of people. And so every day, the rabbit and the bluebird started meeting with the new group, trying to make themselves a part of it. And after a month or so, they had finalized a new version of the plan, in which they would end up leaving with this new group, instead of their old one.
Every day, the bluebird would flaunt her beauty, and haphazardly mention things that she wanted, and every day she and the rabbit would watch the new group as they stumbled around, not only willingly spending all of their money, but spending it on things that they directly gave to the bluebird, in an attempt to win her affection. This meant that not only would the rabbit and the bluebird end up with the extra money that the group ends up earning in the future, but also all of the money that they started with. An even better mark than their previous group, finally, everything was looking good for the pair.
However, soon, another problem came for the both of them, and this time it wasn’t the bear. A stampede had broken out during the festival, and the festival ended up being shut down. Nobody knew if it was going to continue or not, but the new group was scared. They didn’t know what was happening, why stampedes were breaking out, and thought that maybe something bigger was going on. They wanted no part of that, and the new group decided to leave this place, and head for somewhere new.
The rabbit and the bluebird weren’t ready for this, and ended up having to rush to the nest where they were staying, scrambling to get their things ready. As they packed up all of their stuff, they also went over the details of the plan, and what they had learned from the first group, the fox, the wolfcat, and the bear, and what lessons they could learn from that failure, so that they don’t end up failing with the new group as well.
Unknown to them, as they got ready to leave and discussed their previous plans as well as their new one, a certain fox was outside of the door, listening to everything. He had noticed when the bluebird came rushing back towards the nest, and had heard about the stampede, so he thought that maybe the bluebird was frightened. He made his way towards the bluebird’s part of the nest, hoping to comfort her, let her know that everything would be okay, and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her, but…he heard everything.
That the bluebird had never loved him.
That he was just a part of their money making scheme.
That he was being replaced by a new group of guys.
That the only person the bluebird treated as a ‘partner’ was the rabbit.
Outrage, betrayal, insecurity, and heartbreak tore through the fox, as he burst through the door, confronting the rabbit and the bluebird. He didn’t even know what it was necessarily that he wanted to do? Did he want to kill them? Did he want to kill the rabbit and try to convince the bluebird to love him again? Did he want to kill the bluebird for toying with him, then discuss what to do with the rabbit with the wolfcat and the bear? Did he want to kill the bluebird and then himself? He didn’t know. He had burst through the door without any sort of concrete plan, full of too many different emotions to even begin deciphering what it was he actually wanted. But before he could, the rabbit had moved first.
In this world, money is something that increases your potential, and training is what allows you to reach that potential. As a merchant, the rabbit has always had a rather large amount of money, meaning that his potential is rather high. And unknown to the rest of the group, he has always practiced in secret, in order to make sure that his full potential ends up being used. He wasn’t quite as strong as the bear, but he was still much stronger than the average person, and much, much faster. Before the fox even realized that the rabbit had moved, the rabbit had kicked him against the wall, and was about to kill him.
However, the bluebird called out to the rabbit, convincing him not to. Not out of any sort of concern, or affection for the fox, but due to one simple fact. If the rabbit killed the fox, the wolfcat would become upset. And if the wolfcat became upset, the bear would get involved. Neither the bluebird nor the rabbit thought that they could win against the bear, and especially not if he was specifically angry with the two of them. And so, they let the fox live. They finished packing their stuff, and left to go travel with their new targets. As she left, the bluebird called out to the fox one short sentence that took his already broken heart, and completely shattered it.
“Don’t look for us, or I won’t stop him next time.”
And with that, the bluebird and the rabbit left on their new adventure, leaving behind a torn apart room, and a broken fox.
As I listened to Mike’s story, a lot of things started to make sense. Why Liz’s interactions with Leo were always so antagonistic, despite the fact that Leo had been nothing but a boon for us as an adventuring party. Why Liz was so against sleeping with Mike in the beginning. Why once we got to the Capital, we had always come across Mike alone, or Liz with Aozia. I thought back to the aftermath of our battle against the elemental, when Liz was trying to convince us all to leave Leo behind, but Aozia had decided to stay and wait for him.
Mike looked up at me with tearful eyes, as I asked him, “What are you going to do now?” He stayed silent, looking at me. Something about his face, it just seemed…lost. He’d spent years chasing after Liz, so for all of that to come crashing down around him like that? His entire life that he’d planned had just gone down the drain. I thought of something that Leo had told me before. Sighing, I shared the same wisdom with Mike that Leo had with me.
“The me that I had spent so much time building, the me who would be a husband, a father, he just….died. And until I chose what kind of me I wanted to build next, I was frozen. Unable to do anything. That’s something that Leo told me once, about how he felt when his first wife left him. I know that this is all coming down around you, and that you have no clue how to even start figuring out where to go from here, but…we don’t have time for that right now. This city is about to erupt in flames Mike, and you need to decide at least the first step right now. Are you going to stay here until the dust settles, then go out to find the next thing you want to do? Or are you going to go home to your pack? You’re their golden boy, I’m sure they’d welcome you back with open arms.”
Mike looked towards me, and asked, “Is what they said true? Do you really…do you really feel that way about me? Can’t I come with you guys?” As far as I could tell, with Liz and Aozia gone, our adventuring party was officially disbanded. Leo and Sophia had gone through every conceivable extra step to make me feel welcome, but I doubt they’d extend that same courtesy towards Mike. Not to mention…I tried to find that spark that I’d felt for years. That warmth that his presence would always fill me with, but…it had grown cold. The flame was still there, but it was sputtering. I was at a halfway point, where I had to make a decision. Whether to feed it, and allow it to grow back to what it once was, or whether to let it fade into oblivion.
I looked towards Mike, and in his eyes, I saw…Despair. Hope. Fear. He didn’t actually love me, he just hated the idea of being alone. He just wanted to use me, to treat me as a replacement for Liz, while he figures out his next step. Given how good of a person Mike normally is, I don’t think that even he realizes that this is what he’s hoping for. Even if I decided to fan the dying flames, our relationship wouldn’t be like what Sophia and Leo share.
Sure, Leo can’t really be certain of how he feels about her, just like Mike doesn’t genuinely love me, but more than anyone, I can see the lengths that Leo goes to to make her feel wanted. More than anyone, I can tell just how much Leo hates being touched at all, and yet he’s never once let it show whenever Sophia runs up and holds onto him. Leo may think that he’s perfectly concealing just how little warmth he genuinely experiences for anyone around him, but I am the person who’s spent the most time with him. I’ve noticed all of the little signs that he doesn’t even realize that he gives off. The way that his face will go from a full smile and warm chuckle to a completely blank expression the second he thinks no one is watching. The reflexive tensing of his muscles whenever I put my hand on his shoulder, as though preparing himself to kill me if I attack him. The way he constantly psychoanalyzes both me and Sophia, trying to figure out what kind of emotional support that we need without the natural benefit of empathy.
In short, I can see all of the work that he hides from Sophia, the effort that he puts into his relationships. And Mike…He’s not willing to put in that same kind of effort. Not to blame him or anything, after all, he literally JUST got his heart broken by Liz, but…accepting him now, letting myself be his crutch until he can walk on his own two feet…that’s not fair to me either. Just like it’s not fair to Xavier that I use him the same way. I felt around inside me, for that small, dying flame, and I gently, delicately, snuffed out the last bit of light, the last bit of warmth that it gave me. I then felt around for the structure, the calm stability that I had borrowed from X, and…I let it go.
All at once, I felt two overwhelming, yet simultaneously conflicting sensations. The first was a strange feeling of emptiness, as though I had hollowed myself out by removing their places in my heart. But at the same time, I felt the second sensation. An odd feeling of satisfaction, of that hollow space becoming full. As though by removing the presence of these two men in my heart, I’d made room for myself to spread out, and fully appreciate the person I was. Is this the feeling that Leo was searching for? This air of recreating yourself? I don’t know. I’ve never quite felt this way before, though…it wasn’t a bad thing.
With a sigh, I looked back up at Mike’s expression, with a gentle pang of loss, that I didn’t experience that same gentle warmth, that spark that I usually felt, but I didn’t let it reverse the decision that I’d made. I answered his question, “I did. But…Not anymore Mike. I couldn’t keep pining after you, after you chose her, so I…I moved on. And you need to do the same thing, but I don’t think you’ll be able to do that if you spend time with me. A part of you will always be looking at me the way that you are now. That I’m just something that you can fall back on whenever you have nowhere else to go, and that’s not fair to me. So no, you can’t come with us. However, if you plan to go home alone, I will at the very least make sure you can get out of the Capital before everything goes to shit. So what’ll it be Mike?”
Tears streamed down his face, his last hope being destroyed. I hated that I was the one to fully break him like this, but it had to be done. I couldn’t let strangers like the people of the Capital live a lie, so how the hell was I supposed to let someone as close to me as Mike do so? This will be better, this has to be the better way in the end. Truth, no matter how ugly, will always be better in the long run than a lie, no matter how beautiful. Right?
“Just…just go. I’ll figure out what to do on my own, but…just leave me alone…please.” Mike whispered. My heart ached at the desolation in his voice, but I understood that I was currently the third from last person whom he would accept help from right now. Mike was strong, he would get through this, and eventually, I’m sure that he’d find a party willing to accept him, and he’d have wonderful adventures, and one day, this day, and all of the heartbreak he’s experienced will only be a distant memory. A single black flower in a field full of roses. At least, I hoped he would.
“I know that right now, you may not believe this, but I genuinely do hope that you find happiness someday Mike. No matter what happens, you’ll always be someone important to me. If one day, we meet in the future, it’ll be as old friends. You can tell me about the adventure’s you’ve been on, and introduce me to all the wonderful people you’ve surrounded yourself with. Goodbye Mike.” I stood as I spoke, placing my hand on his shoulder as I wished him farewell, then walked out the door.
I decided not to tell Leo about what happened with the group for now. He was currently on a high difficulty mission, and didn’t need any distractions. He would be expecting me to be waiting in the forest outside of the Capital, so that’s where I headed. As the hours went by, I tried to wrap my head around all the changes in my heart. Just because something is right, doesn’t mean that the change will be easy. I was filled with turmoil, and would need a little time for everything to settle down. But I knew that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, I would be a better person for it. I would become a more…whole version of myself.
Due to the proximity of the Traveler’s station to the Capital’s border, it didn’t take long to leave, and make my way about a quarter mile into the woods surrounding us. I waited there for a few hours, looking up at the sky, and waiting for the glaringly obvious signal that everything was about to begin. But everything came crashing down around me when I heard Sophia’s panicked voice over our private channel.
“Ash! It’s Leo, something…Something happened.”