When I regained consciousness, I didn’t recognize my surroundings. No, I couldn’t recognize my surroundings, because there were no surroundings to recognize. It was just a huge blank space that was pitch black. Oddly enough, it wasn’t dark, though there was no light source. I could clearly see myself when I looked down, but aside from that…nothing.

“You’re awake.”

A voice that was as odd to me as it was familiar called out from behind me. Turning around I saw…

“What, no fire this time?”

Over the past few months, I had theorized to myself repeatedly, coming up with ideas for what Sophia looked like, all of them way off the mark. I had mostly imagined an average human-looking female with maybe a tail, wings and horns. What I had not expected was an 8 foot tall woman with black skin, wearing a tight-fitting, yet somehow loosely flowing dress of crimson, with cutouts on the stomach, back, and down the side of one leg. Now when I say black, I don’t mean of african descent. I mean skin that looked like a cosmic void, not just an absence of color, but something that looked like it actively drew in and devoured all light and matter. Adorning her skin were what appeared to be tattoos of flame, but moving and flickering around, as though rather than a design, the flames were every bit a part of her body as her arms. Arms she then spread, the tattoos moving quickly from her body to her back, as gigantic wings of flame spread too.

“Ah, there it is.” I chuckled as I walked towards her. I walked around, checking out what she really looked like from all angles. I reached out for her arm and gently poked it, wondering how something physical could appear so completely… devoid of all matter. Until I actually felt her skin, I had thought that maybe she wasn’t actually here and that it was just a side effect of some kind of illusion technique, but no. Her body was warm to the touch, almost hot in fact, as though the flaming that had previously been tattoos had just been burning through her veins. I reached around to her back and felt the base of her wings. I didn’t feel any heat from the flames, so I lifted my hand slightly and brushed the wings themselves.

Rather than burning the outside, I felt the heat inside my own body. My internal temperature rose as I felt pure Desire course through me. Not just for her, but for anything, for Everything. I wanted, no I needed something desperately. I recognized the effects from when we had established the contract and withdrew my hand.

“Desire’s Flame huh? I get it now. You’re named after these wings?”

Sophia shook her head. I couldn’t read the expression on her face, my unfamiliarity with anything remotely similar giving me no reference points to work with. She was quite beautiful though. Not in a supermodel sort of way, or a sexual way. She was beautiful in the way that a bonfire under the night sky was. Mysterious, enthralling, filled with burning passion, yet paradoxically: Cold, and lonely. After a beat I realized that literally within a few seconds of meeting Sophia face to face, I had immediately started touching her without her permission and feeling her up, so I jumped backwards and put my hands in the air.

“Sorry, you just look so different from what I imagined. Not in a bad way or anything, you’re actually quite lovely, I mean…”

I was interrupted by Sophia giggling, “Why thank you Leo, you’re fairly dashing yourself.”

“Why does your voice sound so different now? Or not different, because it’s clearly still your voice, but there’s something about it… It’s just off. Are you ok?”

Sophia looked into my eyes, and while I couldn’t be sure, it seemed as though there was a faint feeling of gentleness emanating from them.

“I think I should be asking you that. Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I…” I tasted blood in my mouth, feeling the crunch of bone under my teeth and heard an echoing sound of maniacal laughter. Memories crashing into me one after another, suffocating me with their sheer weight. I felt two too warm arms wrapping around me, Sophia pulling me in and holding me securely.

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“I’m sorry I didn’t answer you before.” She began, “I owe you a hell of a lot of explanation.” She told me about demons being beings of emotion, and the impact that had on their relationships. Her feelings of fear and denial at letting someone have that amount of sway over her life. The fact that our contract would eventually turn me into an immortal demon. About how close she had come to severing the soulbond that connected us, and about her being unable to do it. Her acceptance that I was a part of her life now.

In my head I understood. Of course she had tried to sever it, I mean after all, we’d only known each other for a few months. To tie her life to mine would be utter lunacy considering she barely knows me. It’s perfectly reasonable that she would want to keep some distance between us, before it becomes too late. It makes sense..It’s rational…. But I couldn’t stop myself from shaking. I couldn’t stop my heart from trying to beat out of my chest. So what if that’s the rational thing to do, she tried to leave!? Without so much as a goodbye??! WHAT THE FUCK!? Do I really mean so little to her that she could just Abandon me like trash on the side of the road?!? Does she think she can just THROW ME AWAY???

Turmoil raged through my body. I wanted to kill her, I wanted to make her suffer for even considering leaving, but at the same time, she’s all I had. She’s the one person who’s consistently stayed by me, the one person who’s ever really wanted to talk to me, to spend time with me.

She tried to leave before, she’ll do it again

Shut up, she didn’t go through with it, and she says that that’s not something demons can just do, that I’m stuck with her now, she won’t leave.

Oh sure, of course she says she won’t leave, she might even believe it for now. But she’ll change her mind. They all do.

Shut up. She won’t, I don’t believe she will.

You aren’t someone who operates on faith Seth, you only listen to facts. And the facts are that you are not someone capable of being accepted by others. You don’t have the necessary emotional maturity to develop true attachment to anyone. She’ll notice that, and sooner or later, she’ll get tired of waiting for you. She will leave you.

I said shut up! I’ll be turning into a demon soon, they’re nothing but bundles of emotion according to her, and everything gets dialed up to 11, so I’ll be able to-

Yes, everything will get dialed up to 11. And not just the positive emotions you want. But also the negative ones, the fear, the despair, and most certainly, the Wrath. Do you really think you’ll be able to put a lid on your anger issues when anger becomes all that you are? Jesus Christ, just look at what you did yesterday, and that’s now when you’re a human!

I said “SHUT UP.”

I hadn’t meant to say that last part aloud. Sophia looked down at me, pain flashing in her eyes. “I’m sorry Leo, I truly am.”

“Leo…right…my name’s Leo now.”

Sophia looked at me concerned, pleading, “Please tell me what you’re thinking.” So I did. I told her everything, just as she had done for me. That I genuinely wanted to believe that she wouldn’t leave, but my own personal issues made it so I just can’t. My inability to form meaningful relationships with other people no matter how hard I try. My concern for the future, what being a demon will do to my mental state, given the pure carnage I had already demonstrated myself capable of.

While I talked, I could feel the weight on my mind lifting by its own accord. All the negativity hadn’t quite disappeared, but the more I vented out, the less intense it became. During this time Sophia had started stroking my hair, listening to me without interruption. When I had finished, I felt something hot and wet drop onto my shoulder. Like a raindrop on a midsummer’s day. I looked up into Sophia’s eyes, now sparkling with tears.

“I’m sorry I made you go through all that. For what it’s worth, I won’t leave you alone again. I hope with time eventually you’ll be able to trust that.”

I felt my throat closing up, and managed to choke out, “I hope you won’t take it as a personal attack when I prepare myself for if you do.”

She shook her head no, her eyes filled with a shameful sort of understanding. We sat there in silence together for a long while, her still stroking my hair, before I asked, “Wait so am I in Hell right now? It’s a lot darker than I thought. Also, you never did answer my question about why your voice is different.”

Sophia stopped stroking my hair, then broke into a laugh, “No, you’re not in Hell. You won’t be able to go there for about a year after you become a demon. The same process I had to do to get you to your new world, we’ll have to do to recalibrate you for Hell. Right now we’re in the same subspace that I used for your initial mana attunement. It’s kind of like a no man’s land in between all the different worlds, so we can both come here. I can technically pull you in here whenever you want, but when you’re sent back to Earth it’ll be to the same exact spot I pulled you from, so you’ll have to do all your traveling on your own. You won’t have to worry about setting up a camp to sleep though, I’ll set up a living area for you here if you want. That way you don’t have to worry about potentially being attacked in your sleep. And as for my voice, that quality you’re thinking of is something like a natural distortion. Travel from a higher-tiered world to a lower one is impossible, there are sort of…natural protections that planets have to stop people too strong from coming and wreaking havoc. Those natural protections also distort my voice a little bit, which is why it sounds slightly different to you.

I nodded. That’s fairly interesting. I also was looking forward to having decent living arrangements even when I traveled, that would be fucking awesome. But for now, I turned to Sophia and said, “Well, I should probably head back to Earth now and work on cleaning up my mess. See you tonight?”

She paused, nodded, then released me from her hug. She then walked around to my bag and placed an odd looking spike into it before saying, “Yeah, see you tonight Leo.” Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by the corpses of the men I had killed the night before.