Novels2Search
The Adventures of a Warlock
1: Accidental success

1: Accidental success

To be completely honest, I never thought it would actually work. I’d just thought it was a fun way to spend a night, a gimmick to try out just so that I could say I’ve done it, and maybe have a funny story to tell, similar to learning how to juggle or writing a song. I do not believe in the supernatural, in magic, and most certainly not in demons. So how the hell had this happened? Why is there now a 10 foot tall pillar of flame standing in front of me holding out a contract?

It all started a few hours ago, when I was laying in bed, listening to a trashy romance audiobook about vampires. A random line in the book had mentioned that while similar, vampires were not in fact a subset of demons. Naturally, that’s just due to the classifications in that particular book, but that line inspired an hour long internet search into a bunch of different vampire and demon myths throughout the ages. While reading through all of them, I noticed one glaring difference between the two: vampires are not associated with summoning rituals, whereas that’s one of the main points of demons.

So naturally I spent another hour or so checking out different “Ways to summon demons” online. I mostly checked the really bad websites, the ones where you kinda feel as though just clicking on the link will give your computer more viruses than drinking from the Congo, because obviously those are the good ones right? If I had an actual working demon ritual I wouldn’t post it on some shiny website that a bunch of kids would see, I’d hide it in plain sight with a website that’s just a simple white background, black text, and a picture of what you’ve got to do. So with that in mind, I chose the coolest looking design, went to the store to buy candles, charcoal, and a needle to prick my finger, as the ritual required a drop of blood, and I figured that if I’m going to go through with this, I may as well do it right. I also happened to notice an extraordinarily pretty glass bowl, so I grabbed that too, deciding to use that as the ‘altar’ where I would place my offering, then sat my ass down and tried out a summoning ritual.

I spent hours going over the picture, making sure all of the shapes were perfect. I’d always been an insomniac, and the hours of the night where no one else was up needed to be filled with something after all. I painstakingly made sure all of the lines were perfectly traced with the charcoal, that the candles were positioned just right, that the bowl in the center looked just as good a centerpiece as I thought it would. Once I was fully confident that I’d set up this ‘demon summoning ritual’ perfectly, I lit the candles, and read the chant as it was written phonetically in the website.

And so, as mildly spoiled by my opening paragraph, it worked. The pretty glass bowl I had just bought, and spent quite a long time making sure looked absolutely perfect, fucking exploded as the flames from the candles lengthened, being drawn towards the center, gathering above my offering. As I watched, the flames grew in intensity, rising higher, higher, and I thought Oh shit, please tell me I’m not actively burning the house down. The flames continued rising, but not only that, they also…morphed. Like a suspended liquid, mercurial, the blob of flame seemed to have tendrils that reached downwards, upwards, outwards. The blob and its tendrils eventually formed a powerful, yet flickering humanoid silhouette. It almost seemed like a mirage, like a hologram. A bonfire whose logs had just happened to be perfectly placed to look almost human, though with two extra appendages on its back. I assumed these extra appendages to be wings, though I suppose they may have been extra arms. It’s not like I’ve ever seen a real demon before to know jack shit about their anatomy.

“For what reason hast thou summoned me, son of Man?”

The demon’s speech was as though the random crackling of flames from the bonfire had, completely by chance, formed coherent words. The same way that the random sounds that dogs or cats sometimes make sounds almost like perfect English, only these random sounds were the gentle crackling of flame and a distinct hum of power. The words were impossible, yet simultaneously, perfectly comprehensible. Strange. Instead of trying to figure out how that worked, I decided to answer the question asked, since potentially annoying the giant pillar of flame sounds like a surefire way to get myself burned to death.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“To be completely honest with you, I did not think this would actually work. I’m just kinda out here doing stuff that seems interesting, so it’s not like I had any real request lined up or anything, y’know?”

A second passed.

Another.

30.

A minute.

5 minutes of just me and a giant fire person staring at each other in confusion, before I decided to break the silence.

“So…. Heaven and Hell, are those real too? I always thought that those were just stories people came up with because they were afraid of death, and wanted to believe that there was something after, so that they could also believe that somehow their lives held greater meaning than can be reasonably obtained in 80ish years.”

“Yes and no. Yes Heaven and Hell exist, however they are not afterlives as depicted by you children of Man, rather they are akin to parallel worlds, occupying the same 3 dimensional space but offset on a 4th dimension that scales on magic.”

“Oh shit so magic is real too?? That sounds fuckin awesome! How does that work? Can anyone use it? Wait parallel worlds? Like…multiverse theory? Of all the ways that it was finally verified, I don’t think the scientific community will accept ‘yeah a demon told me’. Oh, and do you want a drink or snack or something? I dunno if you can eat human food or even just eat in general given the whole sentient ball of fire thing you seem to have going on, but not offering would prolly be rude right?”

“Let me get this straight… you have a demon in front of you, a being beyond your puny mortal comprehension which you have somehow accidentally summoned before yourself, despite having apparently no background knowledge in the other worlds that exist, or even magic in general, and rather than ask for what you desire, or cower away in fear that I will eviscerate your soul, you offer… drinks and conversation?”

“And snacks too. Can’t forget the snacks. I mean, even if you’re a demon, you’re still a person right? Generally I’ve found that when you meet new people you’re supposed to start a conversation with them, and as for the drinks, that’s more just something you do to be polite. Though, would offering you a glass of water technically count as attempted murder? Shit, I actually didn’t think about that. Also, as for the whole ‘cowering in fear’ thing… I mean I’m like 70% certain that that ritual I did somehow exploded and knocked me out and I’m now dreaming this, so what’s there to be afraid of? And on the 30% chance that this is in fact real, then if I die I die I guess. We all gotta go sometime, and while I’m not gonna actively try to get myself killed, I’m not gonna stress myself out over it. Besides, of all the ways to go out, accidental demon summoning is definitely top five. Also, you’ll probably just go away once you get bored seeing as how you stand to gain literally nothing from killing me, and I don’t think I’ve done anything to personally offend you, so while you’re here anyway, we may as well have an interesting ass talk, right?”

The demon stared at me silently for a few more seconds before replying:

“That is not how it works, Child of Man. I will remain summoned until you speak your desires, and the contract is formed. That is the function of this ritual circle.”

The demon then spent a few minutes pointing out the different segments of the ritual and explained how each part functioned, how the cool glass bowl (RIP) had been the actual summoning, the candles were the medium through which they were summoned, hence the whole sentient ball of flame thing, and how the neat looking charcoal swirly-doos were actually a containment system, to both protect the summoner from the summoned demon and prevent the demon from leaving prematurely. While fascinating, this did pose a kinda serious question:

“Hold up, so if you can’t leave until you grant my request, then did I functionally just enslave you? Fuck dude, I’m sorry.”

The demon merely chuckled at my worries and responded: “No, Child of Man. There exists no magic circle powerful enough to completely enslave another. It’s more like you forced your way to the table, and for there to be a contract, but I still possess much freedom when it comes to negotiating the terms. For example, if you had been an arrogant prick about it I would have most likely taken your wish and carried it out in a way that causes nothing but misery. Or agreed to do as you ask in exchange for that which you value most.”

I snickered along with them, relieved that I hadn’t straight up stolen the demon’s freedom on a completely accidental whim.

“However, I would prefer to actually get started on working out the contract rather than simply remain inside this small circle so summoner: Tell me what you Desire."

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