Chapter 49

Spy Versus Sly

  I will be the first to admit that I am not a spy. The glowing eyes and hair, make my chances of becoming an inter-galactic man of mystery a complete farse. That said, when noticing the way Rayquel was interacting with the two Dwenvarians, I couldn’t help but feel a slight tingle within my gut.

  In my past lives I had tried for the role of spy. Always being told I lacked finesse, or that certain trait that all spies have. You know the ability to blend in, be unobtrusive, or not treat every problem as if it was a nail that needed to be hammered. While I might have been a member of Graves’ crew, and even tagged along on several missions. My roles were always the more pronounced operations. Or when I was sent as a spy for deep space reconnaissance; I was always sent by myself with the express knowledge that if shit went down, I would have to fight my way back. Now that you are aware of this, shocking, part of my history, what happens next might make a little more sense.

  In my first AAR, or After-Action Report, detailing the events that soon transpired I wrote down that I was bored and wanted to see what the Dwenvarian spies could do. This apparently was not the official way to file a report as an Endarian officers. Rayquel, as my senior, stopped me from submitting my report. Yes, I was stopped from delivering an official document before it could, and I quote “killed my military career before it even started.”

  I wanted to point out that I was nearly out, of this universe, as I could all but feel my time in this universe ending. But I was still forced to take back my initial draft of events and edit it to make it more uniform with other Endarain reports. Revisionist history at work again.

  So while Endarian politics might not have the official report of what happened. I will just leave the true accounts of what happened next right here in these pages.

Official Report:

Submitted By: Kyle Goldman-X

  Below is my official report of the events that transpired on the 12th of Uliption, during the event that is now being known as the “Purging of Denthoil,” to the best of my knowledge.

  It started as most other nights when you meet Dwenvarian spies. The two Dwenvarian spies first made contact with us, after our third mock battle. Yes, the battle where the Dwenvarians were finally handed a championship after all but forcing us to concede a match, while my partner crashed us into the side of a building. I will likely have to edit that last sentence.

  When the two spies first approached us about them possibly joining us, I knew something was off. Mainly because Rayquel instantly identified the two as spies. Realizing her stress and the fact that I was bored, I decided to see what Dwenvarian spies could really do. So rather than dismissing the casual conversation, I invited the two to tag along with us. Everything that happened after that point was a direct reaction to the invitation granted to those two individuals. Looking back, in retrospect, this might not have been the best choice of actions…

  ***

  The Dwenvarians were cute by Dwenvarian standards. They were both short, stout, and curvy in all the right places. The male had his first hint of face hair coming in, a sign that he had an assigned role and purpose in society. See male Dwenvarians had to shave every day, until they were no longer a burden. Ironically the society seemed to use the logic of, you can finally afford a razor on your own, thus you no longer need to use one. Though looking back, this might just be coincidental.

  Regardless, the two spies were the typical Dwenvarian couple. Complete with odd social ticks about drinking boisterously and wanting to have a good time.

  “I just don’t see it.” I said.

  I felt flustered annoyance through our bond. This bond was getting more and more annoying as time went by. I knew her emotions better than I knew my own.

  “Look I know you are bored. I know you feel that if these are spies, then why not see what they can do, am I right?”

  I just stare at her, knowing she is getting my confirmation and annoyance at this delay from both my pheromones and our deep personal connection.

  Also, to make matters worse, my back was itching more than usual. We, and by we, I mean Rayquel, had already applied my ointment on my back for the night. But still my faux wings were getting to be a pain, in more than just the literal burning sense.

  “Look, we must figure out what they are here for. What type of intelligence they could be trying to gather.”

  I turn to look at the two, who seem to be giving themselves an acute case of alcohol poisoning. “Right now, it looks like they are wondering which types of berry flavored ales Endarians make, that are still palatable.” I answered.

  Rayquel just stared at me.

  “What, it is no trade secret. Everyone knows the Juvian Berry Ales are the best.”

  “Look we just can’t.” Rayquel tried to say, then she sent a surge of something along our bond. This was supposed to be one of those intense bonding moments. The one where the partner feels so strongly about something that you just go with them, and their gut.

  The only thing was, at the time I felt something compelling me to go with these two. At the time I thought it was a vision, though looking back it might have been gas.

  Seeing that I was not budging on the situation at all, Rayquel finally dropped her demand. “All right fine. Let me just call it in.”

  I nodded.

  Rayquel for her part just walked off to make a call to HQ, or whoever our current handlers were for tonight. Maybe it was the Endarian Berry-Ale, or maybe it was just the want to experience something new, but I chose that moment to make my move.

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  Walking over to the two Dwenvarian spies. I approached the table and then asked. “Hey, you two aren’t spies are you?”

  The two stopped mid gulp of their mugs and stared at me with wide-eyed panic.

  “HAHAHA! Just kidding.” I say, patting both on their backs. They relax slightly, but something clearly was going on. Still, I wanted to try something new, and I realized these two were likely the only way I could accomplish this goal.

  “Come on, let’s go somewhere else.” I say.

  “What about Rayquel?” The male, I believe he said his name was Bobert, asked. At least I think his name is Bobert, though I am terrible with names. I think a lot of my being terrible with names stems from the fact that I often don’t care to remember people until they are interesting. Unfortunately for me, I was only informed of these two being possible spies after introductions were made. This made me both curious about what names I had been given initially, and what names they truly possessed. Did Dwenvarian spies use aliases? If so, how far off was their Alias from their real name?

  “She’ll be fine.” I say, then gesture for us to flee the bar as quickly as possible.

  “Haven’t you had a bit much to drink?” The Female asked, as she grabbed my arm.

  I was fine. I did feel a bit tipsy, but that only made the excitement I was feeling more tangible.

  Before this goes too far, yes, I am eighteen in this lifetime, but I was considered legal age to drink by Endarian customs. Basically, for them, if you were attending the military academy then you were old enough to partake in spirits. Still, a quick Cleanse from me and this tingling sensation I was feeling would be over.

  All this is to say, I was completely of sound mind and body.

  Spinning.

  The world spun around me. Then after a slight actual casting of Cleanse on myself, I felt much better. I was still making my way out of the bar. Once we were out and the fresh night air hit me, I felt a bit of coolness on my cheek.

  “You, um. You seemed to have gotten some vomit on your face, there…” The Female Dwenvarian spy said. I touched the spot, and sure enough, she was right. I wiped the spot, then with a mild judicious use of Create Water I was quickly cleaned up as well.

  I made the mental note that when I told of this night, I would leave the last few minutes of my story out.

  “So where to?” Bobert asked.

  I shrugged, suddenly feeling that this was not the best of choices. Now that my buzz was gone, I could once again feel a swelling sense of unease forming in my stomach.

  “I have an idea of where we could go.” The female said, a sly smile on her face.

  Of course, my stomach was telling me this was a terrible idea, but it was one of those slightly dull sensations. One where you know it is going to be bad, but out of curiosity you have to see just how bad, this sense of foreboding is.

  “Sure.” I said, wanting to follow the rabbit hole.

  With that Bobert put his two fingers into his mouth and made one of the fiercest whistles I had ever heard.

  WHISTLE!

  At that, a black hover vehicle appeared from seemingly nowhere and came for us. Looking at the vehicle it was clear this was a high-end sport transport vehicle designed for luxury and comfort of VIPs and executives. We got into the vehicle, and I was almost immediately swallowed up by the soft leather seats.

  “You two some type of big shots?” I asked.

  “You could say that.” The woman said, as she grabbed my arm tight. I felt a prick of something and instantly felt a burning in my arm.

  Cleanse.

  “What?” I demanded, while instantly casting Cleanse on myself out of reflex.

  The woman looked at me expectantly for a second. I realized I could do one of two things, either fight back and likely end this night right here. Or I could see just what the deep pit inside my stomach was really warning me about.

  Realizing it was just 9:30 PM, or the Endarian equivalent thereof, I felt this was likely to be the most excitement for the night. So, I went with it.

  My brain told me that the poison I had just cured was a potent neurotoxin that focused on shutting down the psychic brainwaves. Fortunately, this meant that my magical spells were largely unaffected. That or my magical capabilities weren’t even considered, when trying to come up with a way to neutralize me.

  I lock my body in place, not wanting to give any signs that I have in fact already neutralized the poison coursing in me.

  Ring. Click.

  “Boss, I have the package.” Bobert begins speaking to someone that apparently only he can hear. “No, there were no complications. The partner should still be at the bar somewhere.”

  Bobert moves in to check on me. I purposefully unfocused my eyes and stare blankly everywhere. After a few seconds, I feel Bobert lean back in relief.

  “No, it was a lot easier than you predicted, boss.” Another pause. “Understood. We will take him to you right away.”

  Click.

  The obvious static tension that had been rising in the vehicle from the connection soon faded. Once he was done, the female looked to Bobert.

  “Well?” She asked, when Bobert wasn’t responding.

  “The boss is pleased.” Bobert responded. “He is watching us now and wants us to take the package to him immediately.”

  “Phew.” The female said, as she searched around the vehicle for signs of surveillance equipment. Her eyes landed on two or three likely spots for camera feeds. Likely a three-dimensional rendering of everything in this vehicle was being sent back to this mysterious boss.

  Push.

  The female pushed me backwards. A gesture I easily complied with, as I crumpled to relax in the seat.

  “Don’t worry. I will make sure you are wrapped and ready for the boss.” The female Dwenvarian spy said. By this point it was apparent, these two were spies. Also, the pit in my stomach stayed mostly the same.

  With those deft hands began using restraining cuffs. These were cords used to cut me off from my psychic abilities. These were like the ones I was first restrained in, when I got to this universe. If anything, they were slightly more powerful, but I could still easily feel my connection to my powers. Case in point, I could still sense the two minds in the vehicle with me.

  I guess they either didn’t know I could break out of these at any time, or likely just read the human reports that these were more than enough to restrain me. Either way, this wasn’t going to be enough to restrain me.

  “Isn’t this a bit of overkill? You know with the brain paralytic and the psychic restraint cuffs?” Bobert asked.

  The female spy just shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care. The boss tells us to do something, we do it. Simple as that.”

  “Yeah, you are right. But still this all seems a bit much.”

  Hearing those words, I could barely contain my excitement, as two main thoughts went through my head. The first thought was that I was finally in a real spy mission. I was so ready for this. This was my first spy mission, and I was so ready to prove to Graves that he had missed out on a valuable operative. Second, Rayquel was so going to tell me she told me so, once this was all over.

  All I had to do was play along long enough to ferret out who the boss was, then see who else was part of this spy ring. We already had these two, on conspiracy to kidnap, and use of weapons grade sedatives. Now the only thing left was to find out who this mysterious boss was, and what their plans were.

  Shuffle. Darkness.

  A dark sac covered my head. This was good, as I was tired of staring vacantly out into nowhere.

  “What was that for?” Bobert asked.

  “I don’t know, something about his eyes are unsettling.”

  “I know what you mean. His eyes are so wide and goofy looking.”

  “I know, right?” She answered back.

  I was about to fire back a reply, when I remembered I was supposed to be paralyzed. After a few more minutes of idle conversation between the two spies, the vehicle came to a stop. I could feel a rush of cold night air come in when the door opened.

  This was it, go-time again.

  I was so excited that I almost trembled with joy.

  “Eww, his skin is changing to scales.” The female said.

  “That is just a reaction to the cold. This is nothing to be alarmed about.” Bobert replied.

  I made a mental note to find out what the female spy’s name was. It felt odd to just keep referring to her as female spy in my mind.

  “This the guy?” A muscular voice calls out in Dwenvarian.

  “Yeah, take him up to the boss immediately.”

  “Got it.”

  With that a set of small but firm hands grabbed hold of me and began human handling me out of the vehicle. From the motion I realized I was being fireman carried over the side shoulder.

  Then a few minutes later, I was dropped to the ground like a particularly heavy sack of potatoes.

  Oof.

  I kept the noises to a minimum.

  “This is the one?” A rasping voice hissed out in Dwenvarian.

  “Yes, boss.”

  “Good remove the bag so we can see what we have.” The rasping voice called out.

  With that my eyes were flooded by lights from all around, as the bag was yanked from over my head.

  “Hmm.”

  “What is it boss?”

  “This one seems to be aware.” The voice in command said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean he can listen to us, right now.”

  Badump. Badump.

  My heart sped up, as my mind desperately tried to come up with a way out of this stupid mess, I had gotten myself into.

  “What? There is no way…” Bobert said, his voice trailing off, as I could feel his glare on me.

  “Don’t worry, the toxin and restraints are more than enough to handle him. In fact, why don’t you go ahead and administer the anti-toxin. We have a lot to talk about with our newest captive after all.”

  “Right away, boss.”

  Pinch.

  I felt a slight burning in my bound right arm.

  Cleanse.

  I didn’t know what was in this supposed antidote, but I didn’t want to take any chances.

  “He should be coming around any second now.”

  With that, I began blinking my eyes and slowly pretended to become aware of my surroundings. I should get an acting award for this performance.

  “Welcome Mr. Goldman-X, or do you just prefer the name Goldman?” The leader of this whole group said. I blinked once, then twice. The man was wearing a particularly shiny black suit, at least that is what my unfocused eyes noticed at first. Then as more time went on, I realized the truth.

  Oh shit. I thought, as I realized I was well and truly screwed.