Chapter 136

All By Myself

  The world is a blur of lights around me, stars that look like streamers blur and pass me as I find my mind, body, and soul being warped across the vastness of space in some form of hyper-tech relay system. Honestly, I want to get a mental recording of this electronics so I can reproduce it in my universe. The entire relay system seems to be super convenient and totally negates the need for an Astra or a Wizard me to teleport around a new universe.

  Of course, there are also problems that come with the likely implementation of such a relay system. The first point of concern is that someone would have to go to a fixed location to lay out the relay point. Then continual maintenance of the points would have to be performed, the occasional shifting due to the movement of solar systems and the orbits of planets around stars moving in space. So many minor things that all speak to having a well-managed system in place. Though honestly all of this is just an excuse to keep my mind occupied from what it is I am supposed to do next.

  For the first time ever, I will be forced to take down a Behemoth all by myself. This is a somewhat daunting task, as I feel that I am in no way capable of doing what is being asked of me. Yet, at the same time I feel this is almost where I deserve to be. If I die here, then that’s it, I can say I tried my best and that is all there is to it. If I survive, then well I know somewhere else that I made another stupid mistake.

  I can see why this was the format that was chosen for me. In hindsight the end of my journey was right there all along, I just needed to be slapped in the face with the obvious solution.

  Whoosh!

  I appear in a distant nebula of some sort. My mind instantly recognizes it as the inside of one of those nebula that have hundreds of stars, well had hundreds of stars. Even now the behemoth here has already managed to burn away and absorb countless stars from existence. In a way the behemoth looks like an odd amalgamation of what you would get if you crossed a bagpipe with a vacuum cleaner. Dozens of hoses floating around blindly trying to absorb any and all energy that this cluster of stars has to offer.

  Seeing the odd movement of the tentacles I realize a few things. First the tentacles move a lot faster than my tiny vessel can. The fact that I can see the tentacles moving at all given their size and girth is a testament to just how quickly the long absorption tubes are moving.

  Seeing this, I decide to go in slowly. Well as quickly as my little ship can go, which might be fast? It is all hard to tell given the sheer size and scale of the behemoth that I am trying to sneak up on. In a way I feel myself linking my current activities as that of a flea trying to take down a particularly massive elephant or otherwise excessively large creature. Does the flea think it can take down such a grand monster, or does it simply try to eek out an existence on the massive creature?

  In this case, I would attribute my existence to being one of those fleas or ticks with a rare disease. Like Alpha-Gal Syndrome, you know the reverse-zombie disease that makes you allergic to meat. I attribute myself to that type of tick, though hopefully a bit faster acting.

  You know what, comparing oneself to any form of parasitic insect is likely a bad sign right? Though in this particular case I can’t help but feel this to be accurate.

  Also, I do need something to distract myself as I flow forward, weaving up and around, anticipating the future movements of the long tentacles as they zip across the nebula trying to absorb light source after light source. The trick seems to be finding a patch of empty space, you know one where there are no clusters of stars that would draw the attention of the behemoth and move forward along that line.

  The monster is so large that after a point I feel the moment I enter the gravitational pull of the beast. Fortunately I am far enough away that I can automatically begin to reverse my approach and try to slow my forward progress. Still the pressure of the massive being is something that this ship likely wasn’t designed to withstand.

  This is the equivalent of being sucked into the center of a white dwarf star, maybe this behemoth is what exists at the other end of a blackhole? I don’t know. All I do know is that, the moment my ship begins to groan from the immense pressure condensing all around me. That is the moment I first feel the mind of the creature. That is the moment I realize I am within range.

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  With my enhanced abilities and Attributes and the fact that my psychic range is increased ten fold in space makes it so my range is the size of solar systems, yet that is barely enough to get me one shot to do this.

  Taking a deep breath, I let my ship get pulled into an orbit around the being. Then I engage the reverse thrusters to give myself as much time as possible.

  GRROOOAANNNN!

  My ship is already warping and bending as the pressure around me is constantly intensifying. I can feel the pressure in my ears increasing, as I suddenly need to yawn widely to relieve some of the pressure that is building up within my ears. Of course, all of this is just peripheral. These minor inconveniences like feeling my brain being squeezed, or my body having a harder time circulating blood normally. All of these things are all minor inconveniences compared to what I need to do next.

  In fact, the pain caused by being in the gravitational pull of the massive behemoth is likely a good distraction for what needs to come next. In the next moment, I focus inwardly to my soul. I focus on the very part of my body that gives me strength and then letting out a long breath, I begin doing things that would cause even the most devout masochists to pause in horror. I begin ripping apart parts of my soul, then begin wadding them together like hamburger patties. Once I am done with the preparatory phase, I pause.

  I can already feel the parts of my soul that I tore away regenerating. I can already feel them regrowing back, it will take some time. Likely minutes to restore what I just took seconds to produce.

  Even still, I feel a dark hollow void within my chest. An emptiness that is hard to explain and even worse to experience.

  Empty.

  I feel well and truly empty, as if everything good in the universe has been ripped away from me. For a moment I pause. For a moment I hesitate as I wonder if it is all worth it. So much pain, so much strife and all for what? To be forgotten once this is over. Savior of a universe that I was never truly a part of. Savior to a universe where my bastard of a brother gets to live a dream life with the girl of my dreams. A universe that will ultimately forget my sacrifice and everything about me shortly after this.

  I feel all those feelings. Then I shake my head.

  “Shut the fuck up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and do it already.” I tell myself.

  With that motivational speech given, I once again refocus my efforts. I find the massive mind of the being who is bent on destroying the universe. I find the mind, then focusing for a moment I weave the components of my wadded up soul and fuse them into one strike. One massive blow that I use to lash out and strike down the massive entity.

  Spirit-Infused Mind Rend.

  As the new power suggests, it wasn’t just an attack, but a spiritually enhanced attack. Of course, the attack is a glaring mockery to what I should have done in my first moments of this new time loop. During the first few moments when I could have saved the Jesses almost instantly.

  Who knew that saving your love’s life was as simple as taking a good portion of your soul wadding it up and using it as a super charged AED to kickstart the healing process of those you love. Looking back, it was almost too easy. I spent my entire time searching the universe for a cure that I possessed all along.

  Of course, the fact that this method sucks and it feels like I am literally castrating myself from a magical perspective each time I do this means nothing. Not when it means I could save my Jess.

  Also, I once again realize that the Celestials are dicks. I mean, did they think I was so dumb as to miss the glaring fact the only way to kill these monsters was to use a soul based attack which seemingly makes the attack that much more powerful? Or maybe healing with this won’t be the same and they will actually give me something that can heal without having to inflict personal damage to my own personage.

  I don’t know.

  I just don’t know.

  All I do know is that, my attack is immediately effective. I feel my attack piercing the mind of the Behemoth and instantly tearing into the great beast.

  Within seconds, the surface of the great beast begins to pulse and vibrate with pain. Idly I begin yanking the control sticks and tilting the ship violently to the left. Then seconds later a massively long tentacle comes zipping by as the behemoth is spasming in pain.

  Still, I don’t relent. I split my focus, letting my Precognition-X passively guide my body, while my mind focuses on continually striking at and burning away at the mind of the great beast. Eventually I feel the initial fire I had burning away, so I find myself ripping more and more of my soul away, adding it to my continually draining strike and hold on.

  I am like a baby crocodile that has bitten down hard and will not let go for any reason. After a few seconds I begin to feel dizzy, but that doesn’t matter. I focus on clamping down on the massive mind. I focus on ripping the massive mind before me to shreds. Massive mental claw strike after mental claw strike lashes out, over and over again.

  I feel the mind buckling and crumbling. After a few seconds I have rendered it so it can only move on natural reflex, it is no longer in control over its body. Then from there I focus on destroying its processes needed to sustain life. Then I continue working my way through the powers of regeneration, the powers to consume. I work my way through everything that makes this creature tick and then I continue to tear away more and more. Each swipe takes a bit more out of me, a bit more of my soul is slowly leeched away, until finally I feel my consciousness fading.

  My mind is fried, left to focus too long on too little energy. With a last force of will, I hit the emergency return button. The minute the universe around me begins to flash with bright lights and colors I feel bile rise up and immediately vomit into my space suit.

  Not my best look, but at the moment, I can’t really find the time to care. I can breathe, barely and the pressure that had been on my body from all sides lessens significantly. As I feel a sigh of relief fill me. I can feel the auto cleaning water sprays flash within the suit. Such a nice feature, even if it does give you the brief sensation of being waterboarded.

  Whirr.

  There is a strong sucking sound as the bile filled water is sucked away. Then the waterboarding process continues a few more times, until finally I am able to breath without fear of being splashed in the face with bile infused water. Or having my face feel like it is being suctioned off by my space suit.

  I pass out to darkness, as I feel my soul slowly begin to weave itself together. Slowly the empty hole that had been my entire existence begins to fill its way in, as I let out a long sigh of relief and feel my body and mind finally able to relax, if only for a moment.