Chapter 122

What Types of Nightmares Do Dwenvarians Have?

I was not having fun. In fact, I could call this whole experience the exact opposite of fun.

  A question one should always ask themselves when in a new land are, what is considered normal? I know everyone assumes this to be a given. For logically we, especially humans, assume that we are always right and thus the center of the universe. That whatever we think should be the standard will be the standard. For obviously, why would anyone dare to think differently that we do? Especially about thigs that are obvious. These are of course the thoughts of myopic megalomaniac thinkers, who think in some way the worlds revolve around themselves.

  Unfortunately, today, I realized I am myopic megalomaniac.

  For some reason I assumed that the nightmare mode that the Dwenvarians were subjected to would be something similar to what I had faced before. You know, the whole go in, find normal forms of Prolaxians and kill them for certs and profit.

  As it turns out, that is not the case. Yes, the human temple had the Prolaxians as the number one scourge of the universe. The only problem was, Dwenvarians either never got the memo, or truly thought the fear of drowning was the worse.

  Well not drowning exactly. I think the fear of drowning was more of my own personal bias that I was bringing into this whole messed up situation.

  See the Dwenvarians apparently evolved from shallow tied filled caves, and systems. Their underground tunnels are almost always half flooded. I of course thought this was due to either poor planning, or natural defensive measures. As it turns out, it was neither. Both the facilities were likely built correctly, with the stagnant swamp water in place. The fact that this natural swamp water served as a natural deterrent was just a bonus apparently.

  The reason why I say this, is that I got what I assume was a paleontological recounting of the Dwenvarian history. Of course I didn’t realize it was a history of their planet and eventual evolution as a highly evolved set of amphibians that permanently evolved to live in caves and abundant water. But I guess the warnings were there.

  The first stage I was in was a swamp, and not just any swamp, but the kind with warm mud that was super-heated by underwater vents. Why would this be such a terrible place? Well first the heat allows for reptilian monsters to grow far larger and be far more robust than normal, but the smell. Have you ever smelled a heated patch of dirt? Well, what about a heated swamp? One that seems to breed flies into existence by simply creating vents of noxious gas.

  Of course, I know that is not where flies come from. I also hope the temples are also aware of this fact, but given the fact that the temples seem to also think that prehistoric dinosaurs are a natural occurrence is a bit distracting.

  Fortunately in these first few scenarios, much like the temple layers from my own temple, the creatures on the first floor are basic monsters that will only attack you once you are within a certain range of them.

  This is great, as it meant I could easily expand my consciousness out, identify the minds on this floor and kill all monsters. Of course, that didn’t negate the fact that I still needed to cross the swampy floor. A floor where every step I took caused my entire foot to sink into dense mud that all but suctioned me down. Mud that felt oddly good if I could ignore the smell long enough. Of course, there was the fact that the mud was over top of superheated magma vents, that also played a part. Meaning that if I rested for too long, not only would I sink in a veritable stink spa, but I would then likely get burnt alive by the ever increasing heat from the floor.

  Fortunately, I decided to leave my violin and its case with Día, you know trust and all that. That was the only good thing about this

  Fortunately, each kill still netted me a cert, though they were slightly different in color and type.

  Unattributed physical cert.

  That’s right, the certs from these floors were based on the weird physical prowess that the Dwenvarians favored. Since I used psychic powers to kill the monsters they all came back as basic certs. Well basic physical certs. These could still be used to level, but would not be helpful with getting a Mage or Psychic class unlocked. Of course, this would likely explain why the Dwenvarians as a species never managed to unlock either of those class archetypes.

  From a developmental standpoint it made sense, if no one was ever give a magic or psychic cert, then obviously they couldn’t develop out those types of classes. But did this mean that each temple offered their own tailored set of certs?

  I knew for a fact that Endarians did have both magic and psychic certs, but their class options were always limited. It was well known that certain sets of psychic classes were only available to Endarians. At first, I thought this was something to deal with, the way the world tree focused their growths. But even in my own universe, a universe that didn’t have world trees until I introduced them, in that universe the Endarians still only had a few magical classes available to them. While the number of psychic classes were far greater than the ones available to us humans.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  Looking back on it, I should have seen this as a clue. One that both showed the individual uniqueness of each space faring race, but one that also filled me with a sense of comfort.

  The reason for the comfort was simple. It meant that even if I didn’t find a extra dimensional shop, I could still theoretically find an old or hidden temple that awarded spirit certificates. This filled me with a sense of hope.

  Unfortunately, this was about the only sense of hope I gained over the first few floors. Each floor required me to go deeper and deeper into much and gunk. I did receive +3 to my Attributes each floor, which was overall a small bonus. Especially considering the amount of much I was currently having to deal with.

  Worse, I knew that once I was done here, I would have to go through this same experience a few dozen more times. Still I could honestly say that I felt better about everything. Until floor five when ankle breaking roots were added to the mix.

  By ankle breaking roots I mean plants that literally jumped up and would try to trip me. Apparently, the plants had a symbiotic relationship with some of the creatures of the swamp. I noticed this aspect of the swamp when I was hit by waves of psychic pain from bushes. Yes, swamp bushes were yelling at me that I killed their counterparts and they were trying to kill me from a distance.

  Fortunately for me they made their intentions clear, as I could all but feel their killing intent from what felt like miles away.

  How do I deal with angry plants?

  Simple. Fire. Or in my case, Pyrokinesis-X.

  When Fire doesn’t work, because the plant in question lies under the water. I go the next step, using both Water-X and Pyrokinesis-X in conjunction. Water to remove the water, and heat to burn the pain away.

  I almost feel like I am walking sports cream commercial. Got tough fungal infections that are killing your ankles at ever turn? Boom! Use the Goldman method.

  These thoughts and more fill my mind.

  I have gathered over two thousand physical certs by the time I finished the tenth floor. By the time the settings start to change from a prehistoric look to a more modern look. Well a more modern for Dwenvarian look, I also notice a change in not only the difficulty of the monsters I am facing, but in their number as well.

  These monsters are smarter, at least that is what their evolved brain matter tells me. Still, they are just as easy to burn away as ever. Fortunately, the symbiosis between plant and monster also stops at this modern era. Unfortunately, the layout goes more towards modern Dwenvarian standards, of living in holes in the ground. This of course meant that there was a slow and gradual change in the floor types from damp swampy holes, to damp swamps that slowly over time gave way to dry land.

  Of course, my clothes were still ruined by this point. Dirt and mud soaked into every fiber of denim and cotton I had on me. In fact, I had to develop a pully system, they were not and I repeat not suspenders, to keep my pants from falling down from all the added weight.

  Then going from the swamp to the dryer tunnels only made it so I felt cold, and uncomfortable. As the once warm water of the stinky swamps was no longer around to keep me warm inside the damp stale caves.

  Of course, I then had to navigate multiple mazes of creatures and traps. Fortunately, the mazes were fairly straight forward, the more monsters you faced, the more direct route to the exit you could find.

  I guess you could say I was lucky, as I managed to make my way to the end of floor twenty-seven. Allegedly there were only supposed to be around twenty-four floors, but here I was at floor twenty-seven with seemingly no end in sight.

  As I completed yet another floor of swamp and slime filled monsters. Only to go the next step down. The monsters of these floors were dark monsters that would apparently try to ambush you as you walked past them. They would hide within the walls and likely wait until you passed by a number of them, before jumping out from their thin walls and try to ambush you.

  Of course, the ambush only works when they are alive to spring a trap. I of course killed them all from within their hiding spots.

  The only sign of what they were came from the final bosses. Giant mammalian creatures that had hairy bodies that had multiple sets of claws for digging in the muddy caves. They were giant to me, most standing over ten feet tall, so to a smaller Dwenvarian they must have appeared to be larger than life.

  Looking at the stage as a whole, it would be a real nail biter. Especially if the temple runner didn’t have any form of detection skills available. They would run through, expecting tons of monsters to find none or only a handful of ambushes. Then make their way here to the final boss, only to be swarmed from behind by all the monsters they missed.

  Ultimately it was a devious plan, and one I fully appreciated. Especially as it meant I didn’t have to fight them in swamp water.

  Again, I still had no clue if these monsters were real to this planet, or if they were just graphic depictions of monsters that would likely frighten the Dwenvarians. Regardless of the fact, they were probably the most pleasant part of this whole run.

  Then finally at the end of my run, I was met with the piece de-resistance on floor thirty. This was the final floor; of that I was certain. The reason being is that there was clearly a trap laid out for me.

  Even while struggling to get through the swamp floors, I still managed to get through them all relatively quickly. Meaning that on the final floor I of course would be rewarded with a vial of power.

  The vial in question was filled with a platinum-colored liquid and I instantly froze. I knew for a fact that Goldie, or as he was still known in this universe due to not having undergone his transition, Goldhammer got his golden skin from a temple run. Now, the Golden skin came with many perks, most notably the fact that he / she was able to shrug off most standard forms of attack waged against him.

  That only magically imbued attacks could actually penetrate his, or her, golden skin.

  Now I was looking at a vial of Platinum energy, which I believe was higher up the scale in terms of rare metals. This meant that the protections of this vial could be more or less than the one Goldie/Goldhammer received.

  With that I had a dilemma. I picked up the vial, and I realized that I had been burned multiple times by these vials. I had managed a minor reprieve from looking ridiculous thanks to my Master Tier Shapeshifting, but even still after the second time of taking the same silver potion to increase my Psychic Potency, I could no longer hide the effects of my hair.

  Holding the vial, I tried to focus my mind on what the negative effects of this vial of power would be.

  That is when I saw, my mind going forward. I saw a future where I had platinum sparkling skin that glistened in the light. One sight of that future and I decided I would never drink this potion myself. That said, I would be more than willing to sell such a great potion to some unsuspecting chump.

  See, I can learn, finally.

  With that, I took the vial of liquid, placed a stopper over top of it to preserve its energy. Then before I left, I used alternating combinations of Air-X, and Water-X to remove the mud stains from my clothes.

  Finally free of the much and grime, I left the temple with a potion of power within my hands.

  I almost thought about handing the vial of emo-vampirism to Día, but ultimately decided against such a fate for her. Maybe I could use it as an apology to the Dwenvarian security agents who scanned me? I think it would be ironic, cursing someone with emo-vampirism, to be taken off a of a terrorist watchlist. At the very least, it should be worth a laugh later on.

  With a smile on my face, I went through the door, and much to my relief, I found myself outside of the temple, a large back of unused certs on my back, and a glowing vial of energy in my hands.

  Of course, things went sour the minute I left and was identified as having a glowing substance within a sacred site to the Dwenvarians.

  “Drop it.” The Dwenvarian guards on duty said, as they pointed their weapons right at me.

  Once again, I wondered what I did to earn the ire of every late night rent-a-cop in the universe.