Nannade was alone in her room, in her world, in the upper floor of Elissa’s practice. The room was very narrow, just twice as wide as the door, but long enough two fit to beds in it lengthwise. It would normally be a storage room, but Elissa and Louissos had cleared it for her hammock, a cabinet and a mirror. She didn’t have enough to warrant much furniture, and she never had her own room before. Right now, she was somewhat glad to have a room all to herself. She sat in one corner, a letter lay some few feet away from her, on it, the seal of the university of Northbridge.
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Esteemed Miss Nannade,
It is my sorrowful duty to inform you that Olybrius of the Vigilantia has perished in an attack on the ship’s wreck on the shores of Botrelandt. He died defending the injured and the remainders of the ship against most aggressive raiders. I hope that you can find comfort in the fact that he has sacrificed his life for a noble cause. For his selfless sacrifice, his ashes have been interred in the crypt of the honoured of Northbridge University. On your behest, I shall lay down a wreath of roses at his urn, if you wish so. I sadly cannot allow you entry into the crypt of the honoured.
Apart from the first, all your letters remain sealed and unread in the safe in my office.
I wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavours.
- His spectability Professor Alivor, Evocator Praestabilis, University of Northbridge
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Tears stained the paper, Nannade had been crying for hours now and she didn’t feel it stop anytime soon. Stupid, she had been stupid to take anything as given. She had dared to dream and was lifted to lofty heights of life only to be smashed back down by death. The serpent tried not to soothe her, and Nannade knew why. She saw it as just. She did and in the future would take many lives, all lives of loved people and so, she had been taken a loved one, astoknow that pain. First her mother, now her lover, not the first in a long line, Nannade imagined. Her only protection was to not have loved ones any more. She worked for death now.
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She would have loved to put down a wreath there herself, but it was best to erase this part of her life. No trace should remain of her. She would make sure to write that to Professor Alivor, as well as ask him to burn all letters she had sent, no, use a disintegration or annihilation spell on them. Nothing shall remain but dust, of her as of her love for him.
She had nestled comfortably in her sorrows when a knock came on the door. Elissa entered before Nannade could refuse her.
“What do you want?”
“Just checking. I don’t want to leave you alone like this.”
“If you want to do something for me, just put me the taff down.”
“I think you should get out of this room. This isn’t doing you well.”
Nannade didn’t feel like answering. For her, remaining inside and disappearing from the face of the world seemed like a good enough prospect for her.
“Let’s go somewhere together. Want to visit the tailor? Or maybe spend a day and a night in Sosken? They have some great bakeries there with some good strawberry tart. Come on! There must be something you want to do!”
Nannade turned her head away. Happy people were such a nuisance. But Elissa didn’t give up. She sat down next to Nannade and put her arms around her. Nannade couldn’t resist her eyes anymore and buried her face behind her knees, so Elissa wouldn’t see the tears or hear the sobs, but Elissa just held her tighter. Nannade had to admit that it felt good, just to be held. She took Elissa’s hand and squeezed tight.
“It’s not going to get easier to bear, but it will get easier to stand back up. That’s all I can promise you.”
Nannade didn’t know what to do with these words, she just let them go and nestled deeper, in Elissa’s embrace as well as her own sorrows.
She finally remembered something she wanted to do. “I want to visit Priscilla’s grave.”
“Really? This soon you want to occupy yourself with death again?”
“I want to pay my respects.”
“Fine. I guess we can travel there. It will take us a few days though. As long as it gets you out of the house.”
“I’m fine with that.”
“Mind if Garrett comes with?”
“No.”
“And Louis?”
The way she asked this was annoying. She didn’t want to call him Louissos or Louis. He was Black Surgeon, the guy who studied her like a vivisection and sent her on some stupid errand run on the other side of the continent. But there was this in Elissa’s voice. This love for him, the same kind of love that had been taken from her. “No. He can come with.”
Elissa gave Nannade a kiss on the forehead and got up to leave. The door fell shut and Nannade was back alone in her sorrow. She missed Elissa’s warmth already.
Nannade knew she should have thanked Priscilla earlier. It was unfair of her to treat the High Sister that way. Another lesson death wanted to teach her. Never leave things unfinished.