“You have got to be kidding me.” Kajima pressed a hand to his head as he looked down at the table. Across from him, Shizu knew he’d react like this. He always pressed that big forehead of his whenever he felt like it was going to burst. She couldn’t blame him though.
He was surprised by her sudden declaration of suggesting Azi to become her potential fiance. Of all the things she could say, this took the cake and pressed on a nerve. Kajima knew her track record with men hadn’t been fortunate these past years.
The last 4 who Shizu gave a chance barely survived their encounter with her, let alone her first trial, which were all ludicrous and picky in nature in his opinion.
On top of that, Shizu would spurn any suitors, testing them with absurd standards or down right finding them failures from the outset. To her, she could smell the deviancy and weakness in men, always appraising.
Kajima could guess her father would say she was too quick to push the topic of marriage away nowadays, the number of suitors was growing thin. And it didn’t help that Shizu preferred strong men with certain.. Qualities.. Though the exact details were only known by her.
There was also the fact that she busied herself daily with doting on her little Sister Rulu. If she had put some of that attention into finding a husband, Kajima was sure she would’ve found a partner by now.
In the case with the 4 she allowed a chance to attempt to be with her, and show how worthy they were, each of them grew impatient with her ever prolonging, stagnant relationship they shared with her. Each fiance didn’t last a month and argued for a push for marriage.
As a result, Shizu denied them outright but allowed an exception. She offered a duel. Confidently, the suitors believed they could succeed and force her to take their hand in marriage. They were all experienced fighters from prestigious clans of Kujyuri. But things didn't turn out well, prestige only went so far.
The 1st candidate had his arm broken by Shizu's first attack a second into the fight and he surrendered after noticing that he could no longer grip his sword, let alone walk straight after getting up.
The 2nd could only cower in fear at the aura she emitted at the start of the match, his face went a pale white and the man soiled himself. That.. was a dreadful day.
The 3rd survived Shizu's initial attack but was knocked unconscious and fell into a coma. The man did live to see another day, though he resigned from the arranged marriage and position as a candidate the first chance he got.
Months later, a rumor was abound that he developed an uncanny fear for women, a testament and reminder to Kajima that Shizu was a troublesome girl and that she was more of a tomboy than she was a noble lady. She acted the part but was brutal in her execution of duties.
Finally, the 4th was the worst and was when she got her alias of the Man killer. In an idiotic attempt to win, the candidate tried to poison Shizu with an aphrodisiac, trying to get her to be susceptible to his charms. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect, and Shizu’s rage won out during the match.
The 4th candidate’s scheme got him stripped of his titles and he now lived as a peasant. Rumors went about that many of his co-conspirators were beaten half to death in the following months of the duel, specifically from blunt wounds, yet the perpetrator was never identified. Kajima knew who was to blame.
From all of this, Shizu’s reputation with her treatment of men dropped into infamy. The rumors of her 4 failed candidates spread like wildfire and everyone in the nation of Kujyuri was knowledgeable of the tale of the unfortunate fates of these broken men.
Exaggerations came next, ever lengthening and deepening the hole of her track record. Recently, Shizu’s unofficial alias of Man Killer was sticking to her more often than not. According to Kajima’s last chat with Ozen, they were sickened to find that the 4th candidate's family members purposefully spun and spread nastier rumors about Shizu to scorn her.
His niece’s chances of finding love were closing, and fast. So why him though? Why did she want to make Azi of all people a possible suitor? She even chose him personally.
Kajima smelt the hint of a plot, or a higher scheme abound. He eyed Shizu from under his clasped hand as he clutched his temple. She was neatly waiting for him to proceed. Heaving a sigh, Kajima finally spoke.
"Tell me Shizu, do you think he is worthy of you? You are an ordained knight.. and he is a peasant." With his understanding of Shizu’s criteria and her later goals in life, he could already see the disparity in merit and position between them. Not to mention the conflicts and current infighting between them. Just what did she see in him to override all the headache she knew was to come?
"I don't.” Shizu said. “When I first met him, I thought he was a rude little boy, so I.. well.. hit him with all I had by accident.” She went sheepish as if she had blundered.” I thought he was dead for sure.” She continued. “But.. to my surprise he survived. Of course he was injured.. Just a little.”
Kajima gaped in surprise. "He actually survived that? One of your punches? Don’t you usually break bone when you’re serious?”
"How do you think I felt at the time, Uncle Kajima? I was so surprised he even got up, but after the recent events it's starting to make sense. Azi is special in some kind of way, I don’t what but he’s.. He’s..” Shizu couldn’t put her finger on it.
“Unordinary. Out of sorts.” Kajima finished for her.
She nodded. “Yeah.. first of all, he survived a serious punch from me, me! Me of all people.” Shizu looked at her hand and remembered the sensation of her fist digging into Azi’s face. There was a noticeable recoil and small pang of soreness if she recalled correctly.
Was it body enhancement magic? Had Azi done it unconsciously? Why couldn’t he use it before? Did he even know he could? His amnesia was a possible clue to all her questions, but there must be more.
It was a recent revelation that he could use it, though a timely one that explained his robustness. It was probably also why he wasn’t smashed into paste by the Kengiri. Getting hit by one of those took a lot of grit and strength to deal with, traits Azi didn’t seem to have outwardly from his frail appearance
“Is that it?” Kajima sighed tiredly. ”So you only find interest in his potential, his use of magic specifically?” He asked, somewhat showing a mild amount of disgust.
Shizu ignored the unseemly slight he lashed at her. “Yes, but it’s not only that.” She replied and faced her Uncle. “He shows great passion in learning, had great strength when he fought three gengiri on his own, and good character when he rushed without hesitation to protect me.”
“Yet you say he isn’t worthy.” Kajima noted. “What’s your angle Little Shizu?”
And there it was, her Uncle was using her nickname. Little, because she was always little in comparison to him. As much as it irked her, it was humbling.
Shizu took a breath and then said. “There is no angle Uncle. Yes, he isn’t worthy in my eyes, only interesting. And being interesting isn’t enough for me to accept him as a worthy equal or partner in marriage. But as part of Ozen’s network of trusted contacts? Maybe? But I don’t fully agree.”
Shizu curled her hair with a finger, looking as though she was reminiscing. Kajima found her having a hint of admiration, or was it wonder?
“His recent activities are not up to par with my own requirements.” Shizu said. “That’s why I want to train him, see what he can do, what he can bring to the nation. And I hope you will help as well."
“You really believe he'll be a benefit for the nation if you and I teach him?"
"I don’t know.” Shizu flicked her long hair away, returning to her usual outwardly upright demeanor. “But what is most important is my role to keep him here in Kujyuri. My father has shown interest, and I as well.”
There was a growing look of apprehension in Kajima. Her uncle wanted nothing to do with Ozen or his matters of court. Shizu wished she hadn’t needed to talk about this matter, but hiding it would’ve been worse, her uncle was clever, so he’d find out eventually.
“On that note.” Shizu continued. “I should let you know that if Azi does go traveling outside of Shisayama, I must accompany him. With his fascination, he’ll be eventually subjected to wanderlust with that personality of his. We can't leave such an interesting person alone and father is running thin on people he can send out.”
“Then shouldn’t you find someone to do your work for you, so that you can be out there gaining merit like always?” Kajima asked, he then frowned. “And, is Azi going to be a cog in your machinations for the throne?”
“..Uncle..” Shizu was hurt by that. Yes, commonly, nobility saw the peasantry as only workers. But Kajima should’ve known she wasn’t like those kinds of nobles. Perhaps her uncle was prefacing her to not cross a line he was drawing.
“No..” She said. “Azi isn’t a cog, he’s more like a pet. It’s why I am interested in him. At best, he’ll do fine as someone I can vent to and mess with.” A grin played across her lips.
Finally, Kajima saw to the truth. “A.. pet.. Eh? Well then.. I see.” He relaxed his shoulders. “Then you better treat him well.” He said. “better yet, treat him like a human.. Please?”
“Perhaps.” Shizu continued to smile. “But let's see just what this young man can do."
Kajima was slightly annoyed by her tone and that smile of hers didn’t help. In his own summary, Shizu’s agenda was to groom Azi as a tool for the benefit of Kujyuri while getting a kick out of doing so. No doubt she wouldn’t be cruel about it, though she’d be cruel in her own teasing way.
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Her actions in coming here and laying this all out was her trying to appeal to him. The gesture was kind and Shizu hadn’t said he couldn’t interfere. There was still a part of what she said that stuck out.
Her side agenda was for Azi to be her potential husband, should he actually impress upon her, which seemed impossible. Kajima had words he wanted to say to rebut Shizu but he had enough sense to not delve into a woman’s heart.
Also, he was a peasant. He may have connections and past merits, but that didn’t give him power to overrule Shizu’s decision, he wasn’t her king, nor her superior, or her father. Her life was her own, and the same was for her actions.
Still, it worried him that if Azi found out about the machinations spinning around him, he might feel disgusted by the idea of being used. Anyone would. Maybe he’d think the people around him were only seeing and treating him kindly for their own ends. Kajima would undoubtedly feel the same.
With a grumble, Kajima ruminated. On the table, he gripped his hands into fists. "While I can't go against you or your father's agenda in any real capacity,” He said. “I will make my stance clear."
A stern expression turned Kajima’s face into who he was before retiring from the army.
Shizu felt Kajima’s ever sharpening glare that glinted like a sword, he was like a father protecting his child. Even though Azi wasn’t family, he did in a way remind Kajima of his sons and Shizu knew he had a soft spot for people in that hardened and aged heart of his.
The man was empathetic, and dangerous to cross. So what he was about to say came from the bottom of his heart and was a resolve statement she shouldn’t see as coming from an old fool from a dying generation.
Kajima spoke strongly and said. “Shizu. Do not try to control the boy. I know you and your father care for the people of Kujyuri, but your over protectiveness is also a detriment. The boy already has no family to fall back on due to his amnesia and he seems naive to how this world works. He is like a fragile piece of raw glass that you are trying to form into a sturdy sword.”
His voice pitched low and commanding. “So! Guide! Him! But do not tug on his hand to force him to follow. Am! I! Clear!"
His gaze intensifying on her, Shizu almost winced from the weight of his warning. It came down like a hammer blow burdened with all his life’s experiences. These were words of wisdom and they weren’t to be taken lightly.
"Yes, I understand." Shizu, while sounding confident, was internally troubled. "I know that our family’s overprotective and extreme personalities are overwhelming when it comes to what we set our minds to. It comes with being in high nobility and it’s evident with how father has governed. Not to mention, even my younger sister is unable to leave Kujyuri due to my father’s own hand holding."
"Really? Rulu has yet to take a single step out of Kujyuri?” Kajima asked, softening his gaze. “Shouldn’t she be old enough to be independent?”
"She is old enough, but I don’t think she can make it out in the world. Though, as much as I hate it, this may change in the future. Father has begun taking risks that I do not agree with.” Shizu’s face soured. “One of these risks is to potentially send Rulu to the Empire’s Imperial Capital. The plan is to court favor and have Rulu act as a representative to the coming of age ceremony for the princess of the royal family."
"Do you fear for Rulu's safety?"
"Of course!” Shizu suddenly stood up and leaned over the table, slamming her hands on it in a hard thump. “I worry for her health everyday! I would rush to her aid should she ever be in danger. She is such a small child and she isn't like me or Yashimu. We've been trained to protect ourselves since childhood! But Rulu?! Rulu can’t even take up a sword or even run to keep up with children her age for that matter. She’s a weak girl."
“But she can protect herself, eventually.” Kajima argued. “Only she can’t because you and your father keep her locked in Kujyuri’s capital, you are both bending and commanding people into what models you believe are the best.”
The situation turned hostile. Shizu now stared at Kajima with an equal amount of tension. She took a breath and sat back down. "Thank you for your advice, I’ll have to think on this but in any case you should go see Azi. I have to get to work and need to get moved in, unless.. you want me to leave?”
Kajima snorted. “I never said I wouldn’t allow it, just.. Just please remember what we talked about.”
Shizu nodded. “I will.” Finally, the two let their gazes fall and Shizu sat down. The tension finally dissolved back into mundane life. Shizu sighed. “Welp, time to get my stuff inside.”
“You don’t need help?” Kajima was about to offer a hand but she waved him off.
“No, it's only fair that I do this on my own. I'll be living here and I need to think.” Shizu paused, hesitating to ask another question but let it lay, opting to address another matter. “Also, I’ll head to the market to pick up some food, we now have three mouths to feed in this house."
Kajima chuckled, he'd have to put more money into the food budget. "You got that right. Alright, I'll leave the groceries for today to you, but one last question.”
“What is it?”
“I ask this in good faith.” Kajima said, getting up from his seat, gazing at Shizu warmly. “From that time in your tent, I was wondering, when you slept next to him, did you feel anything?”
Shizu cocked a brow, so Kajima continued.
“Well, I mean.. Do you love Azi?"
The word love struck Shizu into stunned silence. Her hand froze as she was trying to lift herself up from the table. A sudden shade of red grew on her and she looked away from him.
"No comment." She said softly.
"I see." Kajima deadpanned at her. When Shizu silently left he almost let out a laugh as he went over what he knew.
Those two get along violently and Shizu seems to think he’s a pet. She must be blind to her own feelings, or maybe she’s given up any chance of finding a man. Denying her feelings? Possibly?
"Ah, to be young again." He mumbled. “But I do wonder if her emotions are really love, or from a sense of duty?”
Letting himself stew on those tidbits, Kajima made his way to the workshop. He opened the door and the first thing he saw was Azi examining one of the gengiri carapaces that were left in the corner of the workshop. The kid poked, flexed, and knocked on different parts of the carapace with a focused attention on its surface and texture, he was enraptured in his own head.
"Azi! Over here!" Kajima called to him. "Let’s get started today with some new lessons. I'll first teach you how to handle a carving knife."
“Huh? Oh! We’re doing that today?”
“Yup. Now let’s get started.” Kajima made his way over to the open forge space and opened a large metal chest that contained numerous tools he used for his work. He took out a carving knife still in its brown sheath and walked over to hand it to Azi, who was now so attentive in examining the new implement in his hands.
"From now on this knife is yours.” Kajima said. “Think of it as my recognition of you as my blacksmith apprentice. It is also a congratulatory present for a successful first hunt in the forest. Now! Let's first get you familiar with the anatomy of some of the animals and monsters you'll be dismantling."
He grabbed a book that laid on a nearby worktable. Opening it, he showed Azi its drawn diagrammed contents. He flipped to a page with the sketched image of a gengiri. Azi ooed in awe at the considerable penmanship.
************
While Kajima was giving his lesson to Azi, Shizu was finishing up moving her stuff inside the house. Her room would be next to Azi’s, not because she’d eavesdrop on him, more that it was bigger, and she liked bigger. She finished sooner than she thought and pondered about Kajima's question.
Love, Eh? What is Love? I don't think I have ever loved anyone besides family. I definitely didn’t feel any physical or emotional attraction to my last 4 times, so are these attractions that I am missing love? Hmmmmmm?
Thinking she needed to find answers, she went into Azi’s room. It was where they had just had their most recent intimate moment. The touch of his hands on her breasts were still fresh in her mind. She didn’t like it, though she didn’t hate it.
Shizu likened the encounter as nothing of note, only her getting up to some shenanigans.
“Man, it’s still all disorganized, can’t he sort this better.” The sight of Azi’s room was appalling to her. She tidied the room up and took a moment to recall the other intimate moments she had with him. The moments when he was unconscious or asleep were the most memorable.
What stuck out most was when he was presumed dead after taking a hit for her in her defense, When he awoke, and she could hear his voice again. Shizu realized just how much she had missed him, her interaction with him. But by all means, his voice was annoying since he sounded smug or even cheeky at times.
Shizu almost came to ripping some of his written notes when a sudden amount of anger grew in her. She set the paper down and overheard the loud banter coming from the workshop. The walls were thick here so Azi and Kajima must’ve been enjoying themselves in their lessons.
Men were always so loud, as well as crass at times.
The hint of Azi’s voice came through. It was attentive, respectful, and full of upbeat glee. It was like this whenever he was talking with Kajima. Annoyed that he didn’t talk to her like he did with Kajima, she fell back onto his bed to think.
“Ugh! Why is he always in my head? That mouth of his and that freaking impudent attitude. I should just order him with the seal to know his place. That would teach him a lesson.”
That idea stirred, but drained away quickly.
No.. No No No. Wait! No, I shouldn’t. I’d be no better than the corrupt nobles of the Empire. And.. And.. I don’t want him.. To see.. To see! She couldn’t come to admit it even in her head, but she didn’t want to be seen as being shameless with her authority.
Why? She didn’t know. Maybe she really liked him? Found him charming? Wanted to woo him or impress upon him?
No, this line of thought was getting her nowhere. In fact it disgusted her to think she’d fall so low and let a man make her feel this way. Yet, she wasn’t disgusted when he touched her chest.
It was bold of him, and.. That’s what I like. Bold men, people who are really willing to stick it to the enemy or whoever gets on their nerves, me included. I don’t want a husband who panders or courts me with false pretexts. I want a man, a man who I can talk to and treat as an equal.
All those times they spoke to each other, Azi was confrontational, it was better than talking to a simple admirer or an uppity noble.
From that thought, Shizu's expression morphed into a dumb smile as she rolled around in his bed. She was kicking up a lot of his scent, it had changed from a few days ago. Originally, he smelt of the sea, salty, yet a foreign musk as if he had come from a place with a different kind of air.
She took the blanket and wrapped it around her face. A blush came onto her cheeks, she knew this looked indecent. I’m only experimenting. She told herself. Just trying to figure out where he’s from. I swear, I smelt this scent before.
A good few minutes of sniffing turned up nothing.
“Hah what a bust, and what am I even doing?” She asked herself. Changing back to her usual dignified and proud self, Shizu shook her head. She knew what kind of man she was into. Azi didn’t fit her standards.. for now that is.
Well, if he isn’t, the one, I’m sure I can make a few exceptions. And I..
She shook herself again to stop herself from finishing that thought.
"No, no!” She shouted. “I shouldn’t be distracted by such soft thoughts, there are no shortcuts, I can’t give any. I am a knight of Kujyuri and I must endeavor to support our nation and care for my family. That guy might be impressive and interesting but he will have to earn his place in my heart!"
Her face turned a deeper red at the last part of her words, Shizu was glad that no one was nearby to hear her. Shizu looked around. No one was here and the workshop was getting louder with the striking sounds of hammers.
Then the bed got her attention. Azi’s bed, she was sitting on it and the covers were warm. So very warm, and uncannily comfortable.
Maybe, a few more minutes, only a few minutes. I want to know if he’s capable, this isn’t creepy. I’m only doing my duty.
These were excuses, and her actions were definitely stalkerish. If Kajima had seen her, he would have called her a maiden in love, or in this case, in heat. Shizu couldn’t deny it, her heart kept skipping a beat, this was highly suspect of herself.
How long has it been since I was interested in a boy? A boy other than my brothers? Maybe that’s it, I like him like a brother.. Right? Right? Right?!