the city of Ciliren is a busy one, where the streets are well paved, people are well fed, and hero worship is well established, due to it being grown from a little hamlet into a bustling city in a mere 5 years from the efforts of an isikai protag, and defended those years by him and his cohorts, but that was 100 years ago, and their statues in the city center have been remade so many times that they don't even look like the heroes anymore, they look significantly sexier. not that anyone was complaining.

but the narrator digresses, this city is big, it is well-developed, and it is full of people. but it is also kind of boring, due to the local population of monsters being extinct, the order of knights keeps the peace, the city is fed by the numerous farms that come to trade their produce, and the local economy is stable. so it is both a surprise and a pleasure when a train of circus trailers approaches the city, parking right outside the outer walls. after an hour, a parade of performers take to the street, throwing flyers all over the place. giving free tickets to the local children and elderly. they reach the city center and perform a series of terrific acts to tantalize the local populous to partake in perusing the parade's place of origin, maybe even patronizing the food and game stalls.

even the street urchins get free tickets, every child comes to the circus. a small clown girl leading them to an exclusive magic show. the elderly who attend, on the other hand, get front-row seats for the shows, where they are frequently asked to participate in the magic acts. in both cases, they seem to be the last to leave, because no one sees them leave at the end of the day, it wasn't until days later that people took notice that they never came out of the fairgrounds, the urchins were orphans, so it was the elderly missing that brought alarm.

the people didn't want to cause a ruckus at the circus, so they filed missing person reports to the local authorities[hurumph, milquetoast cowards] eventually the local knights got wind of this. the captain of the lot, being a tall woman in her mid-20s, with blond hair tied in braids to keep it out of her eyes.

in one of the tents, the small form of Mat-ilda stands on a small stage, to entertain some kids

"okay, I might be a little rusty with this." inflates a balloon and tries to make a balloon animal, seemingly forgetting the balloon had a face image on it, the face ending up right below the tail, much to the amusement of the immature children

"AAAAHHHHH, oh, dear, that wasn't supposed to happen!"

this time he makes a butterfly

"good, I got it that time." he lets it go, and it flies away, flapping its balloon-y wings. all the young children clapped in sheer enjoyment, the older or more jaded ones still showing some enjoyment, but only going as far as small smiles from all the tricks performed so far.

mat-ilda with a smile shifting from a genuine one, to a plastered one, not that anyone present could tell at the distance

"now, as my final trick, im gonna make the audiance disappear, one by one."

he produces a wooden-painted box from behind the raised stage and places it in the center.

"now, who wants to be the first?"

the kids all raise their hands, and Mat picks the oldest kid, who isn't as excited as the others. he opens the box for the kid to get inside, and gets a stepping stool and a big cartoony mallet. he taps on the top of the box 3 times with the mallet, there is a flash of light, and after spinning the box, he opens it to reveal there is no one inside, to the amazement of the children. who all want to be next.

"settle down, you will all-"eyes go a little wet"...all get your turn."

after doing it, going from oldest to youngest order, he begins to give the little ones small goodbye hugs before they get in. and after it is done. he just sits there, looking at his own hands. and rocks back and forth.

"this is to get them away from the danger. this is to get them away from the danger. this is to get them away from the danger. this is to get them away from the danger. i am sending them to a better place. i am sending them to a better place. i am sending them to a better place. this is to get them away from the danger. i am sending them to a better place. this is to get them away from the danger. i am sending them to a better place."

after justifying cardifying all the children he has, again. he gets up and after a pause, tips the box over, revealing to the reader a hole with a hinged cover on the top big enough for the fool's mallet to pass through.

" i need somthing else to do this! this is too much! " he buys card packs with the points he just got from sending the kids up, trying to get a card with the effect of sending all creatures on the opponent's side to their hand. the packs pop into existence as physical booster packs, that you have to open. he rips them open all at once and sifts through the cards.

"......................YES!" pulls out a card labeled Mr. Fantasticos disappearance pixie dust.

"now i can atleast get this done....faster..."

continues searching, and finds a blue board wipe spell

"oh, thank jesus-"

'satan'

"shut-...shut-up....thank whatever, i can...it's an instant, so i have to play it."

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

looks for more copies, even attempting to find it being sold individually, when looking the page over he sees a decks tab under the deck tab.

"..."

taps that, and finds he can make new decks from scratch

"good lord, i have been blessed this day!"

'no your not.'

"i can make a deck filled with these kinds of cards." lies down and curls into the fetal position on his side and rocks back and forth

"i can get cardify them all at once consistantly. i can get it done in one fell swoop." chuckles to himself, tears rolling down his face.

'you are REALLY torn up about, what i presume is, sending their souls LITTERELLY to their gods,...i pretty sure it dousn't hurt...'

still rocking back and forth

'...you are not cut out for this, let me-'

"NO!"

'...alright then...if it's any...any reprive from your...mental breakdown, we might need to lay low for awhile after we leave this town empty'

in a childish voice, like he is unable to fully control his mouth, and has regressed a little for a moment "...will there be only fun and laughter?"

'yes, only fun times...for you....for....like a year, maybe two... at most....at least a month.'

"good...good...i know there are forces that need this done but, I just don't want to hurt people."

'thats why I'm here....in this world, I mean... ...I'm the one who's real.'

"yeah, i know. you say that to me every day."

the tent flaps open, and a group of knights barge in, their leader is front and center, almost strutting. her armor shiny and looking unused.

"are you one of those in charge of these... colorful characters?"

"i- I may be. it depends on who is asking, if you're a Karen, I'm not, but if you actually need me, I am..." whispers to self with a side look of horror"why did I say that?!"

"well, we have gotten reports of missing children and elderly since your...distraction... came to town. and we are led to believe your pack of fools are responsible."

"oh-oh-oh dear, that-that is quite some news to me, haha... on closer..rememberence, I am not one of the people in charge, I'm just a silly little clown. bye-bye, woohoohoot!"

tries to cartwheel away, but fails after 3 rotations after getting snagged on a rope.

in a tangled mess"...oww. my scapula."

"ENOUGH TOMFOOLERY, YOU WILL TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE HIDING THE KIDS AND OLD PEOPLE!"

she picks him up by his collar and shakes him like a red-headed stepchild

"UWAAAAAH! please don't shake me. my stomach is the size of an apple-"

She stops for a second and he shoots down the question she was gonna ask "-do NOT ask how I know that."

confused, she falls back on the tried and true method of info extraction she was taught: beating the shit out of the person you want to talk to, but after starting with a fist to the stomach, Mat throws up on her arm. making her drop the poor guy on the ground.

"I warned you I had a tiny tummy."

she kicks him across the room in a fit of anger and frustration

"owwwww,..please don't hurt me anymore, I'm just doing my job."

"who do you work for, clown!"

under his breath"...go."

mat-ildas form changes to the one of his alternative ego: treacherous jester Matilda

"oh, you got bigger, and....more feminine. well, no mater, your just some proformer, and I am the leader of the order of knights of this city, I have had to prove myself time and again to get in my position, always being underestimated because I'm a woman. i also am wearing full platemail with chainmail underneath; what do you have, a silly hat!"

Matilda chuckles, grabs her cap, and pulls it off. reveling her horns pointing straight up and curved from the sides of her head.

"not anymore."

this freaks out the regiment, who all hold their weapons up, ready to attack.

"DEMON!"

"oh, you poor, naive girl. I'm something way worse."

Matilda produces not a throwing knife, but a khopesh with an odd hook at the end, with the word: kindness, along it's blade, to add a confusing but festive flair.

"I'm a thespian with training and knowledge of every part I've played."

the female knight and her entourage rush her, but Matilda hooks one of their weapons and tosses it into the air. where a hidden trick archer in the rafters, for security, shoots it so it stops spinning just where it would block another slash. just before she disarms another and uses the khopesh to send the first and now second flying up, the same repeated again and again until the lead knight is the only one left armed, but every strike is blocked by a blade, almost looking like branches dancing in a maelstrom around matilda.

"HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS, YOU FILTHY SLIME!?"

Matilda answers while keeping it up.

"Impressed? I know I would be. but this is simply a juggling act for the most part. but I have an even more impressive feat to show you."

using the knights' blades, she slashes the woman's armor, and after a soft blow from her mouth, most of the armor and chainmail fall off of her, whats left is some strips of chainmail, leaving the knighted woman in a chainmail bikini.

she then blows again and the other knights, who are male, also are left in chainmail bikinis.

"BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAH! ...your lucky I have a whiney voice In the back of my head that would complain if I killed or maimed you all horribly."

"the head knight covers herself with an embarrassed look on her face, most of the guys too stunned to do anything before checking if their privates are still attached to them.

"you will face judgment for this insult wretch!" she runs away, her regiment in tow.

with a walky-talky she bought from a store in town, Matilda then tells the band outside to follow them in a parade to bring more attention to the defeated group.

"good thing I got the cottencandy machine from the scip crossover decks, or else people would question why the cops are doing the walk of shame."

she changes back, giving mat the back the proverbial reins.

"thank you for holding back, but one question...how did you...take off this hat?" tries to yank it off

'because I'm the real matilda, I can change clothes. your just the alt form and personality.'

"...what...?"

'i said before, your here as a cover, I'm the actual one who's real here.'

"...but...I'm real."

'as am I, your point being?'

"I thought you weren't!"

'...oh, darling, you are so full of yourself, it's adorable.'

on the verge of an existential crisis-induced mental breakdown, he asks a stupid question to change the subject

"...how and why bikini armor?"

'... ... ...'

"how do you know about bikini armor?"

'...shit, our situation might be more complex than I thought.'

"...how so?"

'i know my story; that it's just memories,... but I can also recall parts of your life...'

"..."

'...'

"...I'm scared."

'as you should be...all the times...circling away from that landmine. as for the why, I did that to exacerbate her inferiority complex stemming from the scociatal stigma against women knights in this region. thereby increasing the likelihood of her acting irrationally in the future when interacting with us. and as any tactition knows: a irritated and irrational enamy is easy to predict.'

"so you were taking her serously."

'yeah, did you see how many their were and how she was moving? we're lucky I'm so flexible, and plan ahead or else we would be in more than one piece...we'd be in.... five.'