"so one moment i was sitting in my apartment scartiching my ass and playing videogames, and then the next the wall was blown down, and before I knew what was going on a anti tank rocket was flying towards my face....now I'm here...i assume it's hell,..the dante version, y'know, the one that had parts that had forests, and other stuff. because there is no lake of magma, woke up in the middle of a field, now im in a barn, talking to you...a cow, oh and did I mention, IM IN THE BODY OF A SMALL CLOWN GIRL! i can't even take this costume off...it's literally a part of me...when I tried to take the jester cap off, it felt i was like pulling my hair, I can't even find a seem...how do I go to the bathroom?"pause for breath. the cow moos."your right, i just need to find help, maybe im just in a mascot suit full of glue, and it has a zipper on the small of my back. the farmer who owns this place can help...probably." the man trapped in the body of a jester girl pricks themself up and strolls to the farmhouse and knocks on the door" hello, could you help me please, i think im stuck in some costume." the farmer opens the door, looks down on the pale humanoid "wuht dah fuhk ahr you?" "hi, im mat-...is that my name? wasn't it something different?...nevermind, I'm matilda, and I would like to ask."turns around"is there a zipper on my back, and if so, please try to pull it down." the farmer looks down on the jester girl"child, dere ain't no zipper ohn yur back. ahnd if you don't git off mah propatay, I will shoot you with mah shohtguhn." the jester of considerable shortness backs away"woah, where did this hostility come from?"
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the farmer picks up a break-action twin-barrel shotgun and aims it at the childish figure. and almost in response 7 cards materialize in the girls hand."what the? cards?" the farmer cocks the gun, and the girl throws a card limply at the man while cringing. hearing lound bangs, but not any pain, when matilda looks back up and opens their eyes the farmer is dead, and a little green man wearing clown makeup is bowing to matilda."...goblin?...goblin!" runs away, the goblin following, somehow she knows it's moniker is "pop lad" but is too startled to care, tripping over a rock on the lip of an irrigation pond. and after lying there, and the clown goblin doing nothing but stand there, matilda crawls over to the pond and tries to wipe what they still think is makup, only for it to not come off. and after crying for some time, and throwing up in the grass once, matilda looks at their reflection"wait...why does this face look familure?" just then it all comes crashing back to them, they were a guy in their mid 20s, and they used to play a card game awile ago: magic of summoning, or something. and this face belongs to his favorite commander card: "treacherous jester matilda" and the cards that were in their hand was a starting hand for a game"...but that dousn't explain why I'm a child, matilda was a full grown woman...jester...but I can't deny, I am matilda right now." looks to the goblin"and Im certain I'm not in kansess city anymore."