The frustration I felt is still raw and alive in me, despite it being some days ago and I'm clawing the ground in frustration. With my story over, Harijia looks at me silently until I calm down.
"I've been listening to you too long. A piece of advice," she regards at me a moment longer, "do you want to break your connection with her and if so, how would you do that? I'll be back later."
The question catches me by surprise. The summons always felt like a one-sided affair, one I had no choice in at all. But is that true? At the very least I had no control over being summoned, that would happen one way or another. Either spontaneously or through Harijia's circle. Would having the same people summon me more than once limit the randomness? As I remember my first time, I consider it both good and bad. New things are interesting, but there was a chance it would be worse than I had gone through with Ara. Thinking of the dungeon and Mari, I shudder briefly, make that a big chance.
Then the second part. How to break the connection. The first thing which comes to my mind is when Ara dies. If she is dead, there can be no connection. She may have disarmed my claws and fangs, but those are not the only ways. I managed to hurt her already, I'm sure there are other ways. Another way is, probably, if Ara decides to cancel it.
So, to be rid of it, I either need to anger Ara enough so she'll break it of her own accord, or make sure she dies. But if I choose the first and it doesn't work, the second becomes harder. However, I don't think I want to start by trying to get her killed. My mind alternates by trying to think up ways to annoy Ara, to ways to make her die and always returning to if that is what I want.
It's far too long before Harijia finishes going around the other cells. I can hear partial conversations from other demons, reminding me I'm not alone here. Without actually seeing them it remains hard to gather the full story, but the general trend is to talk about their summons. Some sound hopeful, most sound afraid. It makes me realize my position with Ara is not so bad.
It all makes me realize one thing at the very least: making decisions is hard.
Finally Harijia returns to me. She looks at me expectantly.
"Kill her or make her end it." The tongue twisters in our own language come so much easier after trying to imitate the sounds in Ara's world. "Don't know what I want."
"Those are indeed two ways." Harijia nods her agreement. "You could also just ask. Summoners know about the risk of having unwilling servants. And," here she taps her chest and head, "You can become strong enough in body and mind to break it yourself."
She holds up a clawed limb, forestalling my questions.
"You respect her, yes?" She waits for my nod before continuing. "I respect my master and would never dare to question his orders. Do young swarmlings question their teachers?"
For a while I just look at her without comprehension, but slowly my thoughts start to flow. When Harijia slithers away, I barely notice. Staring at the wall, I try to remember one of my early days. The scarred elder had taken us further away from the colony than usual to a darker more leafy part of the canopy. All of us hatchlings could smell the stench of a predator nearby and were starting to feel nervous. The feeling spread from on to the other until we were huddling close to the older swarmling.
When we reached a clearing where the smell was strongest, the elder picked up one of the weaker hatchlings and threw it to the middle of the clearing. We all watched with rapt attention to what would happen. What happened was.... nothing. The scrawny spawn-ling made it back quickly. Next, the elder picked me up and with one claw carefully made a scratch down my back. As the scent of blood started to fill my nose he carefully threw me, but further from the centre of the clearing.
Right after landing, while I'm still trying to regain my balance, the floor of the clearing shook and a large spider ran out of a hiding spot at the centre, artfully hidden by a trapdoor of branches and leaves. My reflexes allowed me to jump away, but not fast enough. It had been aiming for my torso, but instead bit down on my leg. Using it as a pivot to spin myself around I sank my claws in some of its eyes at the same time as the spider injected its venom into me. That is where the coherent part of the memory stops.
From the three spider types near the colony, ambush spiders use the most potent venom. As it was dragging me backwards by my leg to its hiding hole, pain mixed with the euphoria. I was vaguely aware of something bigger than me rushing past and colliding with the spider. The remaining time was a series of confusing sounds, images and colors leaving me with only the impression of pure enjoyment.
That's the way to hunt those spiders. A bait they can't resist thrown far enough away so they can't retreat in time. Regardless, the elder had not explained anything when he used me as bait, why should I expect different from Ara? I may no longer be a hatchling here, but I've been in her world less than two days. How would I know how to hunt the spiders there?
Still, the thought of losing all those competitions fill me with anger. The weak are used by the strong, the strong get the best food and grow stronger. It makes me want to be the strong one. And just being strong is not enough. Others must know you're strong! What is the use of being a strong swarmling when the others won't let you join the hunting because they don't know?
As I walk back and forth in my cell I stop and shudder. The emotions get the better of me even now. I just want to claw something to pieces, break a wall, rip through a body and drown in the sweet smell of blood. Instead I'm stuck here.
Next thing to consider is what Harijia said about getting stronger. Could I some day resist being summoned? The thought makes me blank out for a moment. Would I really want it is another question, but first is the question of how to become that strong. Is there a trick to it? Everything I learn just raises more questions and it's starting to annoy me. Harijia keeps hinting at ways she could help me, but it's always 'somewhere in the future'. As distasteful as it is, for now I need her. She does know things, things I need, even if her admiration for the devils gets on my nerves.
Stolen novel; please report.
It's always 'when you get stronger', but never any clear answer on how to do that. Then the devils drain some of that strength. Harijia waves it away, it won't do any harm, it just makes the process take a bit longer. She even has the gall to tell me that is a good thing, as it gives me more time to learn all I need to learn. Hah! All I need to learn to be a servant of the devils, I'm sure. When I ask her why we are kept here, she just answers I should be grateful and trust in their wisdom.
And that decides it for me. I'm sick and tired of being underground already. There may be colonies that live entirely underground, but that is not for me. Currently, Ara is the only place where I can be outside under an open sky, even if the trees are too green and the sun too weak. It's going to be tough, going back there. Accepting her orders, if I can, is not the same as forgiving her for making me show such weakness.
For now, I just need to hang on here for a day or two.
The next time Harijia comes by she brings some kind of mixed vegetable thing. I stare silently at her, but there is still no meat when she leaves. Another part of the punishment, I suspect. Something I do enjoy is sprinkled over the vegetables. It's not something I've tasted before, but it gives everything a sour taste which is much to my liking. The bowl it was brought in is made from some kind of metal and it gives me a hard time when I try to bite pieces off, but the taste is not bad and it tickles when I swallow it down. The noise of breaking metal eventually alerts Harijia who takes the now much smaller bowl away from me with a stern warning to never do that again. Idly I wonder if humans would react the same. It seems like a fun thing to try.
To distract myself I go over the list of things to think about. Harijia was happy to help there. There are animals, beasts, demonic beasts, monsters and demons. An animal is stupid, just following its instincts. Beasts are animals, but bigger and stronger, while monsters are beasts with some kind of innate power. The cat which killed me in my first summon was probably a beast. Demonic beasts have some weirdness. They can change just like demons, but not as much and they're not as smart. Most of the swarm would be demonic beasts. Demons like me are smarter and have a greater potential. Then, of course, there are the devils who are far above everything else. I wonder if there are rules against harming a Keeper.
It feels a bit arbitrary to me. Some of the 'demons' in the cavern aren't that much smarter though they diverted strongly from their base race, others have barely changed and are still stupid and yet others have both changed a lot and are smarter. Granted, I only have the other swarmlings as evidence as I don't interact much with the other species, but the line between demons and demonic beasts seems much less defined than Harijia makes it out to be, which makes me question her other definitions too.
Sadly, this means I'll have to put this back with 'things to think about'.
I did have time to scratch one thing off of the 'to think' list. I tested it on the bowl I was eating. My saliva does something to metal, stone and other things too, probably. Sometimes there is a bit of sizzling or some smoke and it leaves little holes and weakens the material. It was a real help in chewing that bowl down to bite sized pieces. The stone inside my cell seems to be immune, but the stone outside showed the same effect. Next time Ara orders me to do something I don't like, I'll give her a lick. I wonder what she tastes like.
Finally, the last day comes. It feels like it's been a week, even though it was barely three days. It's after eating time when Harijia comes to my cell door, but stops before opening it.
"Have you learned your lesson?" She asks bluntly.
As reply, I step back and press the back of my head against the thing hanging at the back wall. A moment later, colors start to blur into an even whiteness and a crushing sensation feels like it drags me somewhere strange. I'm not even surprised any more when what Harijia told me couldn't happen, does happen. It's a summons, I recognize it easily by now.
I don't feel Ara appearing in my head. For a moment I worry if it will be the dungeon, but when my vision clears I'm met with a somehow familiar looking group of armed and armored humans in a green forest. Behind me I hear something running, approaching fast.
"Fight that monster!"
Turning around, I already know what I'll see. A big cat, orange with black stripes which seems stupid to me in a green forest. It's big and mean, but I'm not as small and weak as I used to be. Still, it's much stronger than me, that much is obvious. It's going to be here in seconds, but this time the humans behind me stop instead of running away. A quick look around me shows we're in a clearing at the edge of a cliff face. Unless they can climb as fast as me, I doubt they could escape that way. They also look tired, the reason obvious. Humans are bad at running.
There is no time for a closer look than that as the big cat explodes into the open. Behind me I hear a twang and the cat lands badly as one front leg has a mini-spear, an arrow in it. Using the opening, I dash forward. A claw comes smashing down in my path, but I've learned a lot in these few days. Days, weeks, months? Time is strange. When I dodge left the claw changes course to at least glance me, but I immediately push off to the right. If it can fool Ara, it can fool a cat.
As I slip between its paws, I rake my own claws along the one that just missed me. A deafening yelp above me is my reward. Before the cat can react it is distracted by a metal shield bashing against its head, the sound of it further hurting my sensitive ears. Determined to get as far away from the noise as I can I skitter up its hindquarters and reach the small of its back where I prepare to dig in and hold on in time to come face to face with a fireball.
I close both eyelids and push my face into the fur as the heat washes over me. The cat and me are both on fire, but the cat definitely has it worse. As it screams in pain it starts to buck and jump wildly which only causes my claws to dig in deeper. More loud noises tell me it's getting hit with the shield again, though sometimes there is a wet sound similar to a claw slashing into fresh meat. As I'm still pressing my face down into the fur I can't actually see anything and I wish I couldn't smell anything either. This cat stinks and the burning hairs are not making it any better.
After a while it starts to slow down and I take the chance to change my position. The flanks I am hooked in to are a mess and I need a better grip. Shifting slightly I also bring my head in the vicinity of the spine. Then I bite. My mouth isn't big enough to get a good hold on the spine, nor are my teeth right for this. My teeth are for ripping off flesh, so that's what I do. The reaction is immediate and desperate as the cat rolls over to crush me under its weight. It doesn't succeed, though it's close, but it forces me to let go. It also extinguishes the remaining fire on me.
What it also does is expose its belly and a slashing sound followed by a gurgling yowl ending in a wet cough signify the end of a short and violent encounter. I'm not entirely sure if it was short as I lost track of time while burning, holding on for my life and inhaling burning cat fur. It was still exhausting and I'm a little shaky as I stand up. The humans are all still alive, though one is getting his leg tended to. They're happy and laughing and way too loud. The one getting its leg tended to smiles a strange smile at me and waves. Before I can decipher the smile, the world turns white again and a moment later I'm back in the cell.
The back of my head feels like holes are being drilled into it, but after a moment the feeling fades in exchange for a feeling of well-being. Right, I had been standing with the device-thing on the back of my head. I had also been looking straight at Harijia, which gives me a good view of the expression playing over her face. It's not a bad expression, as they go, it's a thoughtful one. I still don't think I like it.
"Well, that happened," She hisses. "That is very interesting indeed."
Then she smiles, and I really don't like it.