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Chapter 8 and a Half

Chapter 8 and a Half

"It's not really the same with Rob gone now. I mean, I wish I didn't avoid him during the last few weeks now that I think about it. But he seemed really impressed by my guitar performance. He also seemed to be more...cheery? No, no. Happy? Relieved than before. Thinking about it now, felt like there was always something troubling him that was always behind his back. He never showed it but there was something there. I don't know what but regardless I'm glad to see him the way he is now. I'm doing pretty good myself! Work is the way it is, the music stuff is the same too. I do wish I could go more with the metal but it's not as easy as it sounds to get involved in that scene right now. The venue is not the most welcoming to the more...extreme genres. What am I going to do forward? I think I'm going to figure that out soon enough... There's so many people saying do this and do that and it gets really confusing. Sometimes contradictory. Don't want to rush in and do something I'll regret for the rest of my life, right?"

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"Man, things been pretty fucking great. I got him to hit the gym more and I think that did good for him. He seems really focused like he doesn't have brain fog shit going on. It's nothing too obvious but I started catching on to it after a bit of time passed. Oh yeah, he invited me to check out what's her name? Lisa was it? Her guitar performance at the venue. I never really thought he'd invite me to do anything if I'm completely honest. But it was a fucking good time. She was cute so that's a bonus. All three of us talked for a long fucking time about all kinds of shit. Music, television, going forward in life and how we all deal with bullshit that gets thrown at you. It was a fucking blast. I'd say I'm content with where I am right now. Life's not fucking bad at all. Still have a bit of debt to pay off. I think you can guess where that came from. Other than that though I never would've thought I would be happy the way I am right now. Tell that to my grade school self."

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"Dreams are meant to be woken up from. That is what I have learned. To run and keep running from reality will not help anybody, especially yourself. Of course facing it is a difficult task, but a necessary one. After years of being engulfed in my form of escapism, I feel as though I can finally stand up in the day and be able to move forward. It was not easy the first few days of cleaning myself up but now I can look in the mirror and see myself. Familiar and...well. Hopefully this state of mine will last. Do not want to go back to the way I was before."

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"I am sorry for making you go through all of that. I hope you can keep moving on without me. Good luck."

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