Few days passed and there was nothing to them. Time did not make an impact on me. Breeze on the skin was all I felt. Long days melded into a short experience. Can only vaguely recall a few moments in my days... Already accepted my days are meaningless. Nothing every blooms as my desire to exist withers everyday. Born into this world without reason. Most fun I have had was to engage in hedonistic activities once high school was finished with. But I lost interest from the repeated exposure to the soulless enjoyment when I made an effort to be accepted by the others. But times only worth in the moment and gone with a tick of a clock. Worst though was when I stood in dread over being left with nothing. Realized that fun does not make for fulfillment and proved to be no alternative for what I longed for. Reached and could never seem to grab. Hurts in many different areas all over, but the pain has become so numb that it feels only like a mere inconvenience. Asking questions to myself is pointless when I lack the answer to any of them.

Within the absence of the sun, body made its way to the bar I visited a week ago. Needed another drink. Needed a moment to gain myself back. All around myself was obscured in a haze, and that was bothersome. Drink or two would be enough to clear it out. Maybe not quite but at least I know it makes me comfortable.

Stepped into the warm air inside my eyes laid onto a face I have not seen for some time.

"Rob?" he said to me.

I knew him well. "Chris?"

"Holy shit, Robby! It's been too long!"

Chris left his seat. Arms out and lunged in for a hug. Felt a bit awkward but did not make a big deal out of it.. Scent of alcohol touched my nose as his unignorable tough arms fit for a bodybuilder wrapped me. There was no way of winning a fight or an arm wrestle with him. He was fit before, but not this much.

"There's a lot a shit we've got to catch up on! Come, sit here," Chris said as he motioned his arm to the empty seat next to his.

Agreed and seated next right to where he wanted me to be. The bartender, different one from the graying man from last time, a young woman with brown hair.

Chris had his eyes widened. It was though he peered into memories he had no idea he had forgotten about, all being played at once and all flowing back to him so quickly. As for myself, I remember him quite well.

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How it went for me was that we went to that mess of a college together. Do not even want to be reminded of that waste. Though that being said, it was there that myself and Chris met. He was pursuing a future in film while I did what I thought would work for me, much against my parents' will. Was sitting outside the college one day. Sun was shining its way without the interference of clouds and eating my lunch when he decided to sit next to me to do the same thing. Did not mind his business. Never saw him in my own classes and took no interest in him at first. Was already distant from my own classmates. Could never find any ground with them and could not figure out the reason why. Physically we were in the same room scheduled to come back for the same reason as each other and yet our minds...our souls were so distant that breathing in the same air meant absolutely nothing. Had to wonder if they even saw me as human.

However, Chris was not like the others. "What are ya eating?" was what he had to say to a meaningless stranger simply minding his own business. Conversation was lifted as I gave him the answer of "Ham sandwich." Such a commonly packed meal was then responsible for soaring my conversation with Chris as he started throwing waves of other questions from "Is that what you usually eat?" to "What course you taking here?" and even "You ever go to this one bar a little outside of downtown with thirty beers on draft? Fuck dude, we should go there! Shit man, everybody else I know scattered all over the country, I have nothing really going on. Classmates aren't really my type too so that doesn't really help." Asked him questions myself, initially as filler to let him dribble, yet I found myself taking this jester seriously. Did not even realize until we were heavy in the discussion of our area of study.

"You see," Chris went on, "I always had a thing for television. I know my mom would always tell me that I'm watching too much of the TV but I continued to binge on it. There was that one series in particular, you know the one with the five-man hero squad for kids... Yeah, that's the one! The way they made the big monster fights using guys in costumes, and buildings out of cardboard was the coolest shit. Oh yeah, the monster movie with the mutated lizard did the same thing. To create such illusion out of something so simple, it's fucking nuts. Now there's all this CGI shit that feels uncanny... You agree? Yeah dude, it doesn't feel right. Like some heavy makeup or something. When you had cardboard buildings, it felt like something real was there. Like what's captured on screen were actual things caught by the lens of the camera rather than adding shit afterward. Same with explosions. You got those edited explosions into movies and it feels so forced. It feels fake. I hate it. Fake shit always gets under my skin, not just from TV and shit either... What do I mean? I guess I just don't have good experience with fake shit. It's just an imitation of something. Trying to be something that isn't. And when you notice it's not right, that it's fake, it leaves a real bad taste in my mouth. Like it's trying its best to deceive people. I know films and TV and shit are all about editing and creating illusions but when they're making ass of an effort to create something, it's just shit. Am I saying too much?... No?... Really? I thought I was giving out too much there."

Chris stayed in his field while I never knew I was cruising through my time recklessly, swerving off course yet not giving a damn, almost like driving while drunk. Mother and father did not care. They had their own shit to attend to and made it obvious they did not support the route I have taken. Time passed and the passion I once had was draining with it as though there was a hole in the bottom of a tank, emptying away the fuel that was needed to run a machine, desperately burning in the losing fight against the leak. The passion I once had had left and gone away leaving me only filled with nothingness. Became nothing but a hollow husk.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

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Now here we are. Face to face with him once again after a few years of quiet absence, now back in full along with his noticeably loud demeanor.

"Hey, bartender! Get this man a drink," he said as he pointed towards my direction. The bartender noticed and her focus fell on me.

"White Russian, please," I gave her my answer.

With a short nod she went on to her task as Chris went on with his talking.

"So, like, man, where've you been this whole time? You just disappeared on me. Poof! Just vanished, man."

"Dropped out. Simply could not keep up with the courses. Stopped feeling as though that was the life I wanted," which was my answer.

"Here's your order, sir," the bartender appeared and extended her hand over the bar to place the White Russian in front of myself. Her voice and manner reserved. She left us to ourselves after returning to her other duties. Titled my head down to catch the drink in my eyes. The ice in the familiar beige drink twinkled in the light over ourselves like that of a star would. Gave a special quality to the cocktail.

Chris striked a stern look at me. "I mean, yeah, but why'd you leave me hanging like that? I thought you moved out of the city."

Gave him a sluggish shrug. "Was kind of a sudden thing that happened. We never exchanged cell phone numbers and I got too caught up in my own problems. Slipped out of my mind. Did not mean to forget about you like that. Ended up getting distracted by foolish shit." Took an honest sip of my drink.

"Uh huh," Chris acknowledged in a disappointed tone. "At least you had a reason. I guess I can say for certain that you're being honest with me."

"How can you tell?"

"Oh, let's just say it's my intuition, man." Chris had a benevolent smile which lifted the mood around us.

"What are you doing now by the way? You must have been done with college at this point."

The smile he had a moment ago disappeared. "Yeah, that shit. I graduated, I'm qualified, I got through interviews, but I couldn't land one fucking job."

"You being honest?"

"You think I'm fucking with you, man?"

"No, simply making sure."

"Ha ha! You haven't changed one bit, Robby! But yeah, not one fucking job. Guess they wanted someone with more experience, however you get that. Or the guy next to me simply appeared more appealing than I am. Well, guess you could get some experience if you want to be like the poor guys going through the unpaid internships, but they say time is money, and money is something I really am seeking..."

"You do not mean to say that you are out of a job, are you?"

"Nah, Robby. I'm doing good. I was good enough to graduate but when everybody wants in on the jobs but only a few have open positions, there were just others who looked better than me. Looking at what other shit I'm interested in, I remembered when we used to hit the gym. I know we didn't do that as much as we should've, but that got me fired up to apply as security! Crazy to think some fortune 500 tech company hired me! Not to mention they pay better than other places."

"You are happy with that?"

"Hell yeah, man. I kind of lost my own drive to do what I originally went to college for with how surprisingly nice the job is. On the bright side though it got me wanting to hit the gym more often than before. It's nothing crazy like they'd show you in movies, but it feels fucking good in the outfit. Which makes me wonder, what are you doing these days?"

"Working at Michael Donald's..."

"I mean, it is something to do. Better than nothing. Nothing to feel so ashamed about. As long as you're not like one of those entitled shitheads, which I know you're not, it can be okay for experience, unless you're planning to climb up on the ladder in that world. Then go all out."

"..."

"I guess it's for experience. Tell you what, let's exchange numbers before we forget to do it like last time... This is my number... And... Yours is... Ah, got it. Great. Now then. Lucky for you, I got a special offer for you, fucker. We are going to need somebody coming on board to get on the security shit. I wasn't expecting to ask anybody today but I guess I'm lucky to find you!"

"Will let you know soon enough."

"Oh, you better! Don't want you disappearing on me like you did already!"

"Do not worry about it, I assure you!"

We talked and continued to talk as though time was nonexistent. Felt as though I was being myself, requiring no mask to impress anybody. Was a rare experience I wish to be able to repeat many more times. But as much as anybody would want to ignore time, time does not discriminate. Soon me and Chris had to leave and exchange our farewells and off back into our own lives to lead. I was able to leave with a sense of satisfaction and felt the stretched pain of a smile that may have overstayed its welcome.

Was a fun time... Hope I can do this again…

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"We have to push through!" yelled the chief. His voice tight and under heavy weight.

Our squad was spotted by the enemies and that was the start to this disastrous firefight. Constant low banging blared from both sides as bullets from the enemy flew towards ourselves, hoping that those bullets would manage to find a target other than ourselves.

The ruins of buildings reduced to rubble surrounded us all. The air itself had become coarse, hard to breathe. Luckily I was able to have a sturdy concrete wall as my cover. Our squad was spread apart and getting a good look at any enemy was going to be difficult if I wished to keep myself unharmed from the shots.

"Robby! I'm moving up! Cover me!" yelled Chris from across from me. The space between us provided no cover as we both were in a tough spot with our respective walls providing our position.

Continued shooting as Chris rushed to me. Had to keep a distraction while he was making his way to regroup with me. Had to have him get over unharmed. I had to. I had to.

But something had struck. My eyes focused on Chris's as his own widened as he began to stumble towards me as though the motor in his legs were malfunctioning. Managed to catch him before he fell on the ground. The weight on him made it hard for me to keep standing. Lowered the both of us to the ground while having the heat of harsh gasps from my squadmate on the side of my neck. Got him to lay down on his back as my sight came into view of the warm crimson stain that covered his stomach area.