Vori walked down the hallway and watched as some Super TroopersTM were walking into an area requiring high security passcodes.
“You will escort me into the room,” said Vori to one of the Super TroopersTM. He nodded his head as he typed in the passcode. Vori smiled. Of course Karis would be kept behind security. Thousands of flashing consoles lined the walls, all armed with Super TroopersTM . Vori adjusted her helmet a little to remind herself that she was dressed like a Super TrooperTM .
“Where is the young padawan girl?” Vori asked the Super TrooperTM. The Super Trooper™ looked at her confused for a moment, but then looked normal.
“Right this way,” said the Super Trooper™. He lead Vori deeper into the console room to a conference room and sat her down at the table.
“She’ll be here shortly,” said the Super TrooperTM. “The meeting’s at 5 o’clock, but I guess it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” Vori looked at him confused as he exited.
“This is a weird place to be keeping Karis,” she muttered. Suddenly, a whole bunch of Super TroopersTM flooded the room. Vori looked around, shocked. They took seats surrounding Vori and sat in silence. After about three minutes, they all stood up and put their hand on their heads as if they were saluting, Vori copied them.
“You may sit,” said a nautolan woman, walking in.
“Yes, General Var,” said one of the Super TroopersTM. Everyone sat down.
“This month’s profit was distasteful! Do any of you know how much money it takes to keep this ship up and running? We NEED to tax our subjects more,” said General Var, pacing back in forth in front of the table.
“I say we place a space tax. Based on how much space you take up, you get taxed. Bigger humanoids have larger taxes to pay,” said General Var. One of the Super TroopersTM snickered. General Var narrowed her eyes.
“Is there a problem?” she said menacingly.
“So what you’re proposing is a….Fat Tax?” he said, trying not to crack up. His friend high fived him and General Var facepalmed with her head tails.
“It’s a Mass Tax. The amount of space you take up you get taxed for,” she said, trying to put it in simplest terms.
“Oh come on. We already get taxed for every stupid thing. Hell, there’s even a breathing tax!” exclaimed Vori, not able to control herself. All eyes turned on her. Well, I guess this is PG-13 then, she thought. Ah, everyone’s old enough here anyway.
“Well how else are we to stop people from illegally stealing our air supply!” exclaimed General Var. Nods of approval went around the table. “Speaking of breathing tax, we should start adding a multiplier by how much oxygen is being consumed. Since my race only needs 14% oxygen, our multiplier is set to x1.14, whereas humans use 21% oxygen, so theír multiplier should be set to 1.21 for every molecule consumed.” A round of applause shook the room. Vori rolled her eyes behind her mask, unconvinced that their science was accurate.
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“So in addition, a third tax will be placed on biohazardous epidermal flakes,” started General Var. “Many races apart from my own replace their epidermal layer every 2 weeks. Now while this process is happening, many of them shed their biohazards into our air supply, causing tens of Nautolans a year to die from their particles sticking to the insides of our lungs. Now if we were to tax this, it would encourage humanoids not to let their disgusting flakes pollute our air supply.” The door burst open.
“Sorry I’m late I just-” started the Togruta girl before stopping. General Var walked close to her.
“What’s wrong,” she whispered. The girl made a face. Vori’s heart skipped a beat.
“I-I’m not sure,” she said.
“Take a seat, Leeta,” said General Var. Leeta sat down across from Vori, who refused to make eye contact. She was in too much shock to think clearly. It’s not your fault thought Vori Ignore her. Leeta made eye contact with Vori, even though Vori had desperately been trying to avoid it.
“Take off your helmet,” ordered Leeta.
“Private,” said General Var. “We don’t have time for this! We need to explain the Teeth Tax!” Leeta stood up and put her hands on the table.
“Remove it,” she said sternly. Vori put one hand on her lightsaber under the table as she stood up and removed her helmet with her other hand. Leeta gasped. General Var drew her lightsaber.
“Meeting disbanded,” she yelled as the Super TroopersTM exited the room. Vori drew her lightsaber and lunged at General Var.
“Master, your technique is off,” sneered Leeta, joining the fight. Vori spun around and force pushed her backwards, while fending off General Var with her lightsaber. General Var slashed her lightsaber at Vori, but Vori jumped out of the way. Var’s lightsaber sliced through the table.
“Darn, that was all of our Breathing Tax money from last month,” she spat as she force pushed a chair into Vori. It caught Vori off guard as Leeta rejoined the fight.
“Outnumbered,” said Leeta. “You’re a skilled fighter, but the odds are against you.” Vori noted that while she was way better than both Var and Leeta separately, but together they posed a challenge for her. Vori grabbed the seat of a chair that had been sliced off and hurled it like a Frisbee at General Var, while also kicking Leeta backwards.
“Var, you may be a general, but where did you train with a lightsaber? You’ve got worse technique than Leeta!” teased Vori as she pushed over a table to hit Var in the knees. Var gritted her teeth and sliced the table in half.
“Training is for the weak. Some of us are just naturally gifted,” she sneered at Vori as she summoned Leeta over. Leeta swung from the left side as Vori blocked and pushed away. She used her other hand to twist Leeta’s behind her back and grabbed her lightsaber, now dual wielding. Leeta, shocked, forced the table into Vori, who didn’t have time to push it out of the way. General Var, after recovering from getting hit in the face by the chair seat, sprang at Vori and knocked Vori’s purple lightsaber out of her hand and tossed it to Leeta.
“Aw come on, I like purple,” joked Vori in the heat of battle, as she remembered that she was supposed to be the serious character.
“I took your padawan, and now your lightsaber. All that’s left are your limbs,” sneered Var. Angry, Vori force pushed her against the wall, so hard that General Var cut her face on the glass panels. Leeta swung her lightsaber at Vori as she sliced three fingers off Vori’s right hand. In agonizing pain, Vori force pushed a table into Leeta as she sprinted for the exit. She put her helmet back on and slowed down, blending in with a crowd of Super TroopersTM who happened to be walking by.
“CURSES!” yelled General Var, standing up from where she had been smashed against the wall. “I will search all of you!” Vori hurried to the front of the crowd as General Var started yanking off helmets. Vori kept walking, and turned.
“I guess I’ll find Tama in the air ducts,” she muttered as she used her jedi jump to leap into the air ducts. The rest of the Super TroopersTM walked beneath her, with General Var frantically searching each of them.