“Holy jedis that ship is big!” said Tama, looking at the giant ship in front of her.
“We’re going on a full scale stealth assault, so remember: only use lightsabers when you absolutely need to,” warned Adala. Tama pulled out her lightsaber.
“Tama, please,” sighed Vori. Tama put her lightsaber back in her belt.
“Okay here’s the plan. We just walk around and make sure there’s a garbage chute within 15 feet otherwise we don’t go that direction, k?” said Adala. She docked the ship in one of the upper hatches.
“They won’t find the ship here unless they are really looking for something to be on the roof of their ship,” said Adala. She dropped down into the Sith ship. Vori had a pained look on her face.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” said Adala, but somehow her words seemed hollow.
“Hey, I just force-choked three Super TroopersTM, want to steal their clothes?” asked Tama.
“What happened to you?” Vori asked. “Weren’t you supposed to be the serious character?”
“No! You’re the serious character!” Tama laughed. “Besides, they’re actually called Super TroopersTM…”
“I’m the serious character?” Vori whispered. “I… I never imagined that I would be the serious character… You will now pretend that I never did anything funny in this story,” she said to the audience, using her jedi mind tricks.
“It’s not like you’re funny anyway,” Adala countered. “Also, whatever is writing our lives is clearly lazy, since they’re not going to delete your previous lines.” Vori stared at her in silence. She could feel a presence.
“Adala, she’s here,” said Vori softly. Tama looked at Vori, confused.
“Who? You guys keep acting like there’s a secret being kept from me that will be used as a plot point in a few pages,” said Tama. Adala shushed her.
“Okay, just stay calm. We can’t know that for sure,” said Adala. Vori shook her head.
“Let’s find Karis,” she said, putting on the Super Trooper™ hat.
“My lekku won’t fit,” complained Tama. “They’re too big.”
“So cut them off,” said Adala. Tama stared at her in horror.
“I’m kidding, Tama,” said Adala, but Tama still gave her a suspicious look.
“You humans always assume every part that you don’t have on your own bodies isn’t vital to our survival,” grumbled Tama.
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“Excuse me,” Vori politely interjected, “But I’m not a human.”
“Sorry. Human and green human with facial tattoos,” said Tama, shoving her head tails down the back of her Super Trooper™ chestplate.
“Okay, let’s split up. That seems to work,” said Adala. “I’ll go left, Vori will go right, and Tama, you go up the air duct.”
“Why do I have to go up the air duct?” Tama complained.
“Jedi aren’t supposed to complain,” Adala chastised her, then smiled at using such a fancy-sounding word to describe her actions. “Okay, let’s meet back here after two hours. Make sure you’re not late.”
Adala headed down the hallway in search of Karis. Many of the hallways appeared to be abandoned. Two Super Troopers™ walked past her as she nodded her head.
“Didn’t suspect a thing,” she smirked. She then found a convenient map leading to Luke Skywalker-oops wrong story. She continued down the hallway.
“And then I was totally like, you legit banged your head on the door panel,” said one of the Super TroopersTM.
“Hah, remember ‘TRAITOR’?” said the other one. The two laughed. Adala smiled. They were idiots.
“You will take me to Karis,” said Adala, force-controlling them.
“We will take you to Karis,” they replied.
“Ha! That was too easy!” she grinned, taking a selfie as she followed the guards down the hallway.
“Wait a sec!” one guard said, causing the whole group to stop.
“What?” Adala snapped.
“Who’s Karis?”
At that moment, Master Turi felt another disturbance in the force, but this one was different. It was a disturbance of pure female rage.
“The whiny obnoxious child!” yelled Adala in frustration. “About yeigh high, human, female, overflowing with teenage emo angst that could rival that of book 5 Harry Potter.”
“Oooh, that one. We have about three stashed up in a closet right now, but I know which one you’re talking about,” said one of the Super Troopers.™
“Now we’re getting somewhere!” Adala exclaimed. “But wait, why are they in the closet?”
“Because the living conditions on this ship are terrible!” the Super TrooperTM complained.
“How horrible!” Adala yelled.
“Finally, someone feels sorry for us!” the Super TroopersTM declared.
“I can’t believe this no-chip nail polish didn’t work! I spent 30 Altarian dollars on it!” she groaned in frustration.
“Aw, come on!” the Super TroopersTM yelled. The Super TroopersTM lead Adala down a long winding corridor; Adala tried to remember which way she came from, but couldn’t keep up with her surroundings. It was as if someone had used the same backdrop for every hallway to save on production costs. Seriously, none of them had one distinguishing unique feature.
“It’s in here,” said the Super TrooperTM opening the door. “Wait, never mind, that’s the broom closet. It’s this one,” he said, opening the next door to reveal three young padawans. Adala took her Super TrooperTM helmet off.
“Karis!” Adala cried out. Karis, eyes glazed over, didn’t respond. Adala yanked her from the closet.
“She’s force-frozen,” said Adala, examining her. “But who could hold a force freeze for this long?”
“Me,” said a voice behind her.