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Hindenburg

Kalenz regarded me with a curious gaze, awaiting my response.

I cleared my throat, and responded as coherently as I could without making a fool of myself. “Yeah so uh this Ava girl recommended I bring this-” I presented the lupien pelt. “-to you. She said and I quote that you’d ‘kill for a shot at it’.”

Kalenz grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me closer until our faces were mere inches apart, staring right through me. “Ten feathers from that pelt and I’ll throw in a set of iron runebrands with the cloak.”

“Deal.” I wasn’t about to pass that up.

I guess I’ll have to do something else for money if I want to sleep somewhere indoors.

Kalenz ushered me into his shop with him to examine the pelt in more detail. He had strung it up on a sort of drying mount where it had been suspended and tied at several ends to create tension, flattening the whole thing for further inspection.

“Lad, I’m gonna be honest here. You did not treat this pelt properly, nor did it dry properly. I’m still willing to do this, but I’ll have to remove each feather individually and lay them into new cloth. Five more feathers and a week and you’ll have yourself a high-grade ghillie cloak. Kalenz guarantee.” he explained, though somehow it still sounded like a sales pitch even though he had seemed thoroughly disappointed in my method for preserving the pelt.

I didn’t see any reason to decline the new offer, so I nodded and offered my hand. “I can work with that.”

Kalenz took my hand in his own and gave a firm shake.

“We have a deal then. Come back here in a week’s time aye?”

“You got it Kalenz, thanks for the help.”

“I ought to be the one thanking you lad. These feathers’ll sell for a decent amount. Might even be able to get myself a set of spellsilver runebrands if I can catch a merchant with ‘em.” he mused.

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I had left the shop in a pretty decent mood. A set of runebrands? I wasn’t entirely sure how to use those, but I was confident they’d come in handy. I had also made sure to head back to the tavern to finish politely interrogating Ava.

“Wait wait wait. You said you were in a sandstorm, and you heard roars and lightning?”

“Yeah and it scared the shit outta me. What the hell kind of creature just creates lightning?” I asked incredulously.

Ava’s plumage raised, making her look oddly fluffy. “It was a good choice to hunker down during that. You passed through the territory of a duhen argen. They’re a large flying predator… about 10 meters long from head to tail.” she described. “I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that sandstorm was a mating ritual. They don’t normally attack people, but during mating rituals they are extremely aggressive.”

How many times have I nearly met God now? Ehh like at least five…?

[If I’m understanding your weird analogy right, then it would actually be six.]

HEY. SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY BOOK.

[Teehee!]

OH DON’T YOU FUCKIN ‘TEEHEE’ ME.

Sorry about that, readers. Sometimes a certain someone doesn’t know when to fuck off. I have dealt with the issue for the foreseeable future. Now, back to our regularly scheduled fever dream.

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I had also asked Ava if there were any caravans in town that would be willing to transport me to Elion. Apparently there would be one passing through in just about a week’s time — just in time for my ghillie cloak to finish. I had also asked her if there was anything that I could do for money or a place to sleep. As it happened, she was the owner of the tavern, and was more than willing to put me up for a while as long as I helped out around the tavern, which according to her was mostly mixing drinks and making food. It sounded easy enough, so I had no trouble agreeing to the arrangement.

It was not easy. Turns out, I can’t cook! Like, at all — unless you consider charcoal to be edible. Mixing drinks went a bit better, but I ended up screwing up quite a few orders. The food of Helsa, while not necessarily alien, did still present its own challenges. Most notably the fact that I didn’t know the names of any vegetables or foods outside of panyas.

Damn. I really should have asked the tavernkeep back in Dilanja about their cooking.

My shift continued into the early parts of the night until Ava dismissed me. I chose to turn in early, that way I could practice magic outside the village and not be noticed or interrupted. The room that Ava had provided me with was actually quite modest in size, with a well made and comfy queen-sized bed by the front wall, which boasted a sizeable window overlooking part of the town. There was an intricately woven carpet in front of the bed as well. It was incredibly soft, almost like a fuzzy memory foam. Considering the relative lack of technological development I had seen so far, this room raised questions regarding Ava’s wealth.

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I could see the luminous night sky and battling moons through the window too. The smaller moon seemed a bit worse for wear since last month, with several of its fissures beginning to widen.

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When I woke up, I silently crept out of the tavern, heading about a half mile from the village, finding a tree. It was time for experimentation. I knew that I could give mana commands to do certain things, but I didn’t know the limits nor the mechanics behind it, if there were any concrete mechanics at all. For all I knew it could have been mostly arbitrary.

Alright lets start with water. What can I do with that? Can I make the commands more specific?

I grabbed a small handful of mana and spoke, holding out my hand. “Condense water vapor.”

I felt a small amount of dizziness, though not nearly as much as I had the first time around. I looked at my hand in the moonlight, to find a large swarm of droplets orbiting my hand.

I think I used my normal amount of mana for that… and for the amount of water that produced, it’s definitely more efficient. Hmm… I wonder…

“Bond hydrogen and oxygen.” I said as I grabbed a similar amount of mana.

I immediately felt a large burst of heat and a small flame explode from my hand as I experienced a severe bout of dizziness, collapsing, but not fainting.

What? Why did it do that? Don’t hydrogen and oxygen make water??

If any of you readers know a thing or two about basic chemistry and/or rocket engines, then you’ll know that bonding hydrogen and oxygen leaves a lot of left over energy, which can be rather explosive. This is similar to how hydrolox rocket engines work, though that involves the two elements in liquid form, not gas. I did not know any of this at the time.

Alright lets try that again, maybe it was just a fluke? And if not, it might make for a good weapon or tool if I can get used to the feel of casting it.

I found my bearings and got up. I gave it a bit more mana this time, foolishly thinking that might stabilize the reaction or maybe that I made a mistake channeling the mana. So I focused quite a bit more, even closing my eyes just like I did a month ago.

“Bond hydrogen and oxygen.”

It took a moment for anything to happen. And then I heard something, it started quiet-

Pop. Pop-po-pop. POP. POP-PO-PO-POP.

Hm? Is my nose bleeding?

BA-ba-BANG!!!!

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“H—. –u o–ay?”

Hmm?? Wazzat?

“H—--y.”

“...Who’s ‘ere?”

“HEY!”

My body and mind were suddenly jolted into wakefulness as I then felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, before I hit the ground face first. I rolled over and opened my eyes to discover that I had fallen out of a weird palm tree with leaves wider than the trunk that drooped to the ground, and also that it was noon.

“Are you okay Max?!” came a very concerned voice belonging to none other than Ava as she rushed to help me up.

“No. Not okay.” I managed as I stumbled to my feet with her help.

“Gods Max, what in the hells were you doing?” she scolded.

“Experimenting.” I said matter-of-factly.

“With what?”

“Magic.”

“No Max clearly you were testing the Goddess of Magic’s patience. Just what kind of magic were you trying to use?! We have been searching for hours after hearing that massive explosion!” she admonished.

“Uhhh… would you believe me if I said I was trying to make water?”

She pointed her finger at me as though she were about to start yelling, but she stopped herself. She took a deep breath and followed it with a sigh. “Explain.”

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“So let me get this straight. You used some kind of outworlder knowledge to try and make a better version of create water??” Ava asked.

We had since moved back to her tavern where she remained closed so we could talk without interruption.

“That would be correct…” I said, sighing. “I thought that those components would have made for a really mana-efficient way to make water, but I must have failed to account for something.”

“Do you think that you just weren’t specific enough with the components?” she probed.

“I suppose that could be the case… but then what did I fail to specify? Was it the amount?”

A few moments of awkward silence passed as I ruminated on the issue.

Wait… hang on.

Long buried memories of high school chemistry class had begun to surface, as I realized just how much of a dumbass I was. Hydrogen and oxygen is exothermic. Shit gets hot.

“I am such a fucking dumbass Ava.”

She regarded me with a look of mild concern. “And why might that be…?”

“The method that I was trying to use actually produced a lot of leftover energy and heat. I basically just made a bomb.” I said.

Ava’s yellow eyes widened at this. “You know Max, you seem like a pretty stand-up guy, but I must agree — you are a dumbass.”

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I resolved to lock that spell away temporarily, and really anything involving potentially explosive chemical reactions until I had a safer environment to try them in. I didn’t want to risk losing one or both arms a third time.

When Ava opened up her tavern later that day, I worked a shorter shift wanting to check out some of the shops in town. I had hoped to find a shop selling whatever this spellsilver stuff was, but I didn’t manage to find any. I eventually made my way to Kalenz’ shop, only to find it closed. I could see him on the inside of the main building working hard on the cloak that he had promised me.

I decided that it would be best not to disturb him, and chose to head back to the tavern. As I was leisurely walking, I heard a high-pitched, and frankly annoying voice from behind. “Well hey there Mister Maximillian! Long time no see!”

I immediately did a 180 upon hearing that name, only to find nothing. I was then grabbed by the arm from behind. My limbs immediately went stiff as this mystery lady began dragging me by the arm, my heels leaving a trail on the dirt path.

“UHM LADY who are you??? Let me go please??” I asked in a mild panic.

“Hmm… nope!” she exclaimed cheerfully.

What the fuck.

I then decided that maybe I should call for help, since this was definitely not okay.

“Help! Someone help! I’m being dragged away by a strange lady that hasn’t heard of personal space! Anybody? Help!?” I yelled in desperation as the lady continued dragging me, only to have every person we passed ignore me completely, as though I wasn’t even there.

Shit.

I had just been kidnapped.