For the fourth time, I came to i- oh wait. It wasn’t Jasko’s mudhut this time. The room that I had awoken in was quite large. Rays of sunlight filtered in through the windows as I sat up and gave the room a good look. Or at least that’s what I would have done, if I hadn’t immediately hissed in pain as my right arm felt like every muscle fiber in it had been shredded and the skin burned right up to before the nerves would have fried.
At that, a gruff voice spoke up a from a few feet to the left of me. “You may have shown that sunagmy a real rough time — killed it even, but that didn’t come without a cost to you.”
I made an attempt to speak, “wh-”
“What?! You don’t remember me?! Come now, young hunter surely you remember the mean old guildmaster! I came to speak to you and Jasko and I’ve had to wait for three days for you two slackers to wake up!” the guildmaster bantered.
My heart leapt at that, and I spoke in a raspy voice, “wait, Jasko’s alive?”
“Eyyup. Nailah had to drag both your sorry asses back here too!” the guildmaster guffawed. “But in all seriousness, you did good kid. I’d even say you stole the show, taking down a sunagmy on your own! You can call me Darman; you’ve more than earned my respect — the village’s respect too.”
And that reminded me of something — the fledglings. I knew they had died, but I needed to ask. “Wait, Darman. What about the fledglings?”
“What about ‘em?” He said dryly. “Wrong place, wrong time. Nailah says they fought till the end, and if she’s to be believed, then they’re in a better place. Their deaths will not be forgotten, their families will mourn, but we will not linger. Out in these sands, letting yourself become complacent will get you killed. That sunagmy regenerated its shield much faster than any on record. You couldn’t have possibly expected it, and yet here you are. Alive, maybe not well, but alive nonetheless. Now get some more rest damn it. We ain’t gonna celebrate the kill without the star of the hunt, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be patient about it! Get to healin’!”
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Three more days passed before I could use my arm with any level of dexterity again. During that time I had been visited by Nailah, and later the village elder.
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From her outward personality I knew she’d be emotional, but I really didn’t expect her to be sobbing.
“I w-was s-so worried… a-and — and I thought you were gonna die! Jasko too!” Nailah blubbered.
“Now hang on Nailah! I’ve had a much worse discharge than that before, even if what I did was really risky. And Jasko protected his vitals and limbs with his shield before it broke! He might have some broken bones here and there, but nothing that won’t heal with enough time.” I explained.
“But I was so worried! One second the team was fine, and the next half of us were dead or dying!”
I sighed. There wasn’t any calming her down here. I just had to let her get it out of her system, so we continued talking, and the topic eventually ended up on Earth.
…
“Do you really not have sunagmy on Earth?” she asked, apparently shocked by this information.
“I don’t think we even have anything anywhere near as big as one, let alone as dangerous.”
“Hmm… well what about falden?”
Maybe it just has a different name?
“Describe it to me.”
“Oh, well they’re these little four-legged creatures that elves sometimes keep as pets! They train them to help them hunt, protect their homes, all kinds of stuff! I saw one in a caravan a while ago, it was sooo cute!”
Oh so a dog then!
“Oh! They also have really pretty feathers too! They start out brown and gray, but as they get older they get these really beautiful patterns and colors! The caravan that had them said they were breeding them for the best colors, and they were planning to sell them in the capital! None of us in the village could afford any though…” she hung her head.
I stand corrected.
…
“By the way, Nailah. Have you seen Jasko at all? The guildmaster only really mentioned that you all were waiting for me, so I assumed he had already recovered.”
Her ears perked up when I said that, but she averted her eyes.
“Oh! Yeah he’s doing fine! He just had some… errands to run… yeah! Errands!”
That’s not suspicious at all.
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My head perked up when I heard the door to what I had learned to be the village infirmary opened. In walked a girtablilu woman that I had not seen before. She wore a very colorfully woven poncho-like article. She had a face that had appeared more aged than any other girtablilu I had seen thus far. Her eyes were squinted, as though she struggled to see. What I saw of her eyes told me she had seen much in her lifetime.
She must be the village elder.
“Outworlder. You are Max, yes? Nailah has told me much about you. Thank you for protecting her. I am called Lanah, but please call me Lan.”
Is every authority figure here this friendly?
A thought occurred to me. “Forgive me if this comes off as rude, but is Nailah your attendant or something of that sort?”
“She is my granddaughter.”
Oh… OH. Well that certainly explains a lot. Nailah talks about her a lot when she isn’t excited over other goings on.
“Oh, I see. I apologize for that, I was merely curious.”
Lanah chuckled at this. “Oh please, you need not apologize. You saved my granddaughter’s life. I am in your debt for this. And not to mention… she is very fond of you Max.”
Well that certainly went in a direction.
“She is very lucky to have a friend willing to risk his life like that. If only she weren’t so infatuated with that Jasko. You would make a wonderful husband for her.”
Thank god. Jasko saves the day again, I am NOT interested in being married off to a scorpion lady I’ve known for hardly even two weeks. No offense Nailah, I’m sure you’d be great, but I’m just not interested.
“Ahaha yeah I’m sure I would… what a shame about Jasko haha…”
Quick change the subject dumbass.
“So uh Lan! How long have you been the elder for?”
She smiled at this. “Ohh, I’m sure you mean no harm by that, but you know it’s rude to ask a young lady her age.”
Oh ha ha. Great question shithead.
She didn’t give me a chance to apologize, choosing to continue. “Ohh I think I was 49 years old when I became elder. Not a very old age to be called the elder, but I suppose I grew into the title.” she chuckled to herself. “I’ve been the elder for the last 152 years, Max. I’m getting up in age, and I want Nailah to have a husband to support her when she inherits my responsibilities.”
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
Damn it all Max you were supposed to deflect and now you’re back on that topic. Quick! Evasive maneuvers!
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Subject after subject after subject. Let me tell you now, the old lady was determined. Fortunately she eventually got the hint that I wasn’t interested, but man was I tired by the end. The last thing I needed was a wife. Maybe in the future, but at the time I barely understood anything about the world that I found myself in. I didn’t plan on staying in the village, and when I did finally leave I’d need to keep my wits about me, and be ready to run or fight at a moments notice, especially if there’d be more creatures like that sandworm.
I’ll have to ask someone about where I ought to go after all this is said and done. Magic seems like a powerful tool in the right hands. I’d be an idiot to pass that up.
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The day after I had spoken to Nailah and Lanah, I left the infirmary for the first time in almost a week. Exercising my full range of motion after that long had been euphoric, and I felt ready to take on the world.
I headed over to the Lazy Arlynx tavern to get some food. I was starving since I had woken up hours before, at what would be Helsan equivalent of 4 AM, though that didn’t stop me from taking a few detours.
Actually, what even is an Arlynx?
As I made my way to the tavern, I opted to take in the scenery on one of my aforementioned detours, now that I was free to wander the village on my own, not accompanied by Jasko or Nailah. You might be wondering, “But Max, what scenery would there even be to take in, in a small backwater village in the middle of the desert?” And at that I would call you a daft philistine. This is a village in a different world, lived in by a race that doesn’t even exist on Earth. Not to mention their culture! They’ve been accommodating, but I can tell that I don’t belong, even if the villagers are enamored with my presence. There is much to see here. Their buildings are an earthy orange color, built with mud and sandstone from the ground up, or carved right out of the cliff face. They decorate them with vibrant paints of yellows, greens and reds. They hang desert plants that they’ve cultivated in their windows as they go about their daily lives. A small girtablilu child that must have recognized me handed me a flower when I passed by. It was a strange flower, the petals were plentiful and dense like a rose, while they had the color and length of a tiger lily.
I was walking by what looked like a weapons shop until I was called out to by the guildmaster from inside. I entered the shop, intending on speaking to him anyway.
The guildmaster approached me loudly as soon as I entered the door. “Young hunter Max! You seem to be in much better health after my visit! I am glad to see my personality did wonders for your recovery!”
I always forget just how huge this man is. He’s gotta be at least 8 feet tall.
“Hey Darman! Whatcha up to in here?”
“Ah! I was merely making sure that the shopkeep knew we needed two more branded spears — since the ones we sent on the hunt were destroyed.” the guildmaster explained.
“Oh alright, are spears like that expensive?”
“Yes, very expensive. The spellsilver used to brand catalysts has become exceptionally rare. Most caravans that pass by don’t even have branded items anymore.”
“Do you have any idea why that might be?” I asked, curious.
The guildmaster closed his eyes in thought. “Hm, I couldn’t say. The price on branded goods has been steadily increasing for the last few years, but news doesn’t normally travel this far out. Most things we know are learned from caravans.”
I guess I’ll have to find that information elsewhere.
“But enough of that! Are you ready for the hunt celebration tonight?”
I never was one for large gatherings, but I also wasn’t stupid. This isn’t something I’ll get to experience very often, if ever at all after this. “Yeah, I’ll be around.”
“You ought to be more than around!” the guildmaster guffawed. “After all, it was you that killed the sunagmy. It was you that saved what was left of your team. And to top it all off, you’re an outworlder that was wetter behind the ears than a hatchling! You’d never even fired a crossbow until Jasko showed you the ropes!”
Does a gun count?
“All I’ll say Max, is I hope you can hold your booze.” the guildmaster said cryptically.
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When I finally arrived at the tavern, I quickly found my way to the bar counter where I ordered.
“What’ll you be having outworlder?” asked the owner.
“Yeah uhm, so I don’t really know what it’s called, but there’s this vegetable-”
The owner seemed a little annoyed, but relented anyway.
“-that I had during the hunt, and I was wondering if you had it? The skin was yellow, and pretty tough, but the flesh was really tender and savory. If you have any, do you think you could do something with that?”
“That would be a panya, and yes I most certainly can…” the owner smiled.
“Alright thank you!”
“...on one condition. Have some sunagmy meat with this dish.” the owner added, still smiling.
I had a feeling I knew why, but I still decided to ask. “I’m not opposed, but may I ask why?”
“Hun, you and your team just killed a sunagmy. We’ll have enough meat to feed the village for the better part of a year!” the owner laughed.
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The food was intense, but delicious. The sunagmy meat was cooked to white perfection, stuffed inside of a number of gutted panya, seasoned with some kind of red powdered seasoning and a sweet brown sauce. It was spicy, and my sinuses were definitely clear by the time I finished the plate.
“So how was that hun? Up to your standards?” the owner questioned expectantly.
“The whole time I’ve been here in this world, I was worried that the food just wouldn’t hold up compared to home, but this stuff is like top quality restaurant food back home! The sweet sauce and savory panya were complimented wonderfully by the intense spicy sensations afforded with that red seasoning you used.” I gushed.
“I’m flattered that you liked it so much, but what exactly do you mean by spicy?” the owner looked confused.
“Oh, well the red seasoning you used was spicy. It really… cleared up my breathing.” I said, pausing when I realized they might not know what sinuses are.
“Hun, that seasoning is supposed to have an earthy flavor. What are you on about?” the owner looked even more perplexed now.
Wait, am I allergic? No surely I wouldn’t be. The burning already subsided like any other spicy food.
…
Holy shit. Are these guys not affected by capsaicin?
At that revelation, I nearly teared up. “I am so sorry. You are missing out on such a wonderful feature of your food ma’am.”
“Hun are you feeling well?”
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I spent the rest of the day wandering the village until it was time for the… celebration? Alright dear readers, I’ll tell you right now, these guys had a whole-ass festival going here. When night fell, the village changed drastically. Torchlight cast shadows that twisted and danced along the ground as all manner of activities took place, from singing and stories, to dances and sparring. There was even the odd hunter trying some kind of party trick by trying to juggle magic flames. It didn’t go well and he had to be bandaged up and taken to the infirmary, though I admired his enthusiasm. In hindsight he did seem rather inebriated.
I was eventually handed a drink by a passing villager who had seemed intent on retiring for the night with another villager following close behind. I looked down at the drink and saw a murky brown liquid. I smelled vaguely of alcohol and… beef? What? I then decided in that moment that it was bottoms up or bust.
The drink was strong, very strong. It was also savory like I expected, indeed tasting like the familiar two-toed ungulate of Earth’s pastures.
I wonder how they got that taste.
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I’m going to try to be as truthful as possible in this next section, but it was kind of a blur for me. That drink was crazy strong, and I now understand what the guildmaster had meant by that booze comment.
Alright so I’m pretty sure that Jasko and Nailah found me at some point and dragged me off to an elevated stage-podium thing because I vaguely remember them talking to me and taking my precious cow-meat-juice away.
I know for a fact that on the podium with me was the guildmaster, because I explicitly remember saying, and I quote “Tanks for ‘avin me ‘ere Mr. President.” I will never live this down, especially not with a certain someone around whom I will not mention the name of right now because spoilers.
During that whole podium shebang, I remember being lifted up by my arm, nearly off the ground. People started cheering, and I cheered with them. The guildmaster was saying something about hunting and giving thanks and whatnot.
After the guildmaster’s little speech, I was given three items. A map, that I now know was the only map in the village, owned by the elder herself. The other two items were gifts from both Nailah and Jasko. A spear fashioned from the jaw chitin of the sandworm we killed, and a set of light armor meant to fit over my clothing, fashioned from same stuff as the spear.
Past that, I can barely remember what happened at all.
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Definitely not drinking for a while. This hangover is gonna be the end of me.
I woke up sprawled across a hard, unstable object, my torso and legs hanging over either side. I opened my eyes to find myself atop a very asleep girtablilu. I did not recognize this one. I noticed my spear embedded in the ground a few meters away. I got up and off of the very hungover villager and immediately noticed that I had equipped my armor at some point last night.
As I wrenched my spear out of the ground, I heard the familiar voice approach.
“So, have you decided on a name for your spear yet, Max?” came Jasko’s voice.
You can’t ask me how I’m feeling or something? Man I don’t have a name for this thing. Wait…
I put one hand to my hip as I flourished the spear, pointing it skyward.
“Stabby McStabface.”