As Face Man sets me on the altar thing, the world flashes blue-white-gold. Bands of energy whip out of the altar and strap me to it - comfortably and warmly, so I guess that’s alright - and then there’s a huge flash that rips into blackness.

I’m suddenly in a different place. All around me is a void with distant stars twinkling.

“Ah ha! This is the place I go when I dream.” I cry out.

Wait. Hold up. Was that my voice?

I look all around me. At the very edges of the void… the edges of the endless void of twinkling starlight… the… edges… of… infinity… yeah this place is fucked. I’m definitely dreaming.

Anyways - shaking myself all over - I can just make out, along the edges of infinity, which still weirds me out, the pretties, plus the child Janice, Cleric Strongjaw, and I guess Lady Wisemore is there too.

Alright, so I’m now standing in the middle of an empty void with twinkling stars in the distance, fully aware that I’m in a dream place, and that a bunch of people are somehow watching me in whatever this is.

I wiggle my fingers and toes, then look down because that doesn’t feel right…

I’m HUGE! Like, fully grown adult huge. My thoughts feel clearer than they ever have, my body feels familiar but looks like an adult human… I’m wearing a pair of simple pants and nothing else.

Holding out my hand - it’s strong, massive, and moves easily. I run it through my hair - which is shortish and… fuzzy?... on the sides. Meh.

Let’s get the feel for my body.

I start to bounce on my toes and swing my arms. That feels fine - but it’s weird bouncing on nothing. The weird feeling promptly goes away.

Oh yeah, I’m in a dream.

“Alright dream. What do you have for me? Let’s get this started.”

I focus my will, feeling it sharpen and connect to the space around me.

*POP*

“Cleric, why is this such a clear picture instead of the normal nebulous feelings? Are you trying to harm Ratel?” Merrygold looks pissed and is keeping a cordial tone, but man is she livid.

“No way. Is that Ratel?” Ruth is leaning over the balcony looking down at me - which is weird because it looks like she’s leaning forward to look at me………… Fine. Dream wonkyness.

“Oh boy, he’s a hunk. If he grows up to look like that I think we might all be in danger.” Peach is fanning herself and staring straight at my tummy.

Looking at each of them, they all seem intrigued and fascinated over my dream body. But they don’t seem to have any idea I can see and hear them. I’m just gonna keep pretending I don’t. Things are always way more interesting when they think I’m asleep already.

Strongjaw coughs before saying, “No. This is highly irregular. This level of clarity of self is odd indeed. Only some of the most devout Ascetics have such an intuitive sense of self. Seeing it in a child just past his first birthday is… interesting.” He finishes in a predatory way.

Face Man is looking me up and down in a way that’s like the pretties, but more like a slab of meat, or how Wooshy looks at rabbits. Weirdo.

Putting them out of my mind, I pause. It really feels like something should’ve happened already.

Standing around I just watch the twinkling lights. It’s peaceful here. Empty, but in a way that doesn’t feel lonely. The feeling of this place reminds me of that moment just before you really fall asleep while laying outside with a sunbeam on your face and wind in your hair. But less… solid. Solid?

Pulling my legs up into a lotus position - one foot on each thigh - and cupping my chin I ponder.

Wait… How do I know what a lotus position is? You know, one of these days, I’m going to explore the universe and find the truths to all these mysteries. Yeah. That seems like a worthy adventure.

Cleric Strongjaw looks out over the pretties and says with a bit of confusion, “Either the formation is broken, which I highly doubt given that it's powered by our faith in The Fist - or Ratel is a moron of the highest caliber.”

A bunch of the pretties whirl on him, blood in their eyes, but before anyone moves Lady Wisemore starts cackling. “I think the Cleric is right. Think about it Sisters. Have any of you, ever once, seen even a hint of fear on his face?”

Everyone seems to freeze and start looking at each other. Janice, the human child who seems to be tagging along, looks over to the Paladin. “Wasn’t he the baby that was crawling along the temple wall playing with a giant eagle and wild bats? Even at his birthday, when he looked overwhelmed, or when he woke up on Sasha’s lap - she’s the kobold by the way - he was more curious and interested than anything.”

Strongjaw starts to tap his chin. “Hmmm… If what you’re saying is true then this trial holds no meaning to the child. If he’s truly incapable of feeling fear then nothing will ever manifest in that space. There will be no trial here today.”

“Wait, that can’t be right.” Tatiana chimes in. “When he was a newborn and brought to us he would cry and scream until he got what he wanted-” She trails off and just stares, mouth open.

The pretties eyes all snap to each other.

Ingrid’s eyes go wide in panic as her mouth starts moving out of sync with her words and breathing. “No way. There is no way. It can’t be. How could… but… how did we not notice?!”

Her hand moves to the left side of her chest, rubbing the scar of her missing breast that was cut off on the day her husband and child were taken from her.

“Never once has he looked at my scars in fear. Never once has he shown anything but joy at eating.”

Gemma takes off her veil and rubs at her teeth. “I always thought it a bit strange that a human babe never flinched at my teeth. A half-breed of a dwarf and orc usually gets a lot of strange looks. Since I dared the Lover’s Embrace the looks I get are… different. But he only looked at me - at all of us - with those eyes.”

The pretties start talking over one another, back and forth, and shouting across my void. I can understand what they’re saying better, but not when they’re all talking.

Hilda whistles sharply, halting all the conversation. “I think we’ve all reached the same conclusion. Now, let us save that conversation for when we’re back in the tower and instead focus on this trial shall we? Does anyone have any ideas for how we can start this trial off?”

Strongjaw, scratching his beard, gets a very sinister sneer. “I have one idea.”

The void bleeds. Colors, sound, the pretties, even my body, all just start to bleed. The very fabric of my understanding comes apart. It’s not blood but something much deeper, more conceptual.

I feel my awareness fade away…

– – –

“I’ll take that bet. I think he’ll make it through the whole thing without ever crying.” - Strawberry

“Ooooo… Betting on a toddler are we? Can I get in on that?”

Wait… I don’t recognize that voice.

I open my eyes and look down from where I’m comfy perched in a sling around Elodie. I see a tiny giant who seems to have just walked into our group. She’s human? Round ears, messy brown colored hair, freckles, no sharp teeth… Yeah, human.

This feels weirdly familiar. I’m pretty sure Amy is about to-

“Who are you?” I hear Amy ask from somewhere out of my line of sight.

“Oh ummm… sorry. I’m Janice. I’ve been a page of Lady Wisemore for almost two months now. When she said that Ratel was going to be tested at the central temple today I begged leave to come watch. I was at his birthday - but there were a lot of people so I don’t blame you for not remembering me.” She pushes out her chest proudly and I see the ‘coat of arms’ - which is a strange name because wouldn’t that be something she wears that gives her more arms? - that belongs to the Lady.

Yeah - this is definitely familiar.

There’s an explosion that tears through one of the buildings. The shrapnel tears through Amy and Janice, splattering them across the pavement.

I feel myself starting to fall as something warm and wet washes over me. Elodie’s headless body slumps to the ground burying me under her.

I’m pinned under her, drowning in her blood, as I watch more explosions go off, more of the pretties get torn apart.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

The remaining pretties fall to their knees, sobbing, trying to get to me, trying to protect each other. Creatures descend from the sky on them with claws and wavy blades, cutting them apart.

I’m trying to scream, to reach out, to fight, to help. To do anything as I drown in Elodie’s blood.

Everything fades to black as I feel myself choke and drown, helplessly watching those I love be butchered by monsters.

– – –

Waking up the first thing I notice is that I’m laying on my back on the soft lap of a girl I don’t know. That’s fine. I look around and notice we’re still at the park.

Some of the bigger tiny giants have sticks and are play fighting around the park. Most the - adults I’ve heard the tiny giants call them - are sitting around with drinks and chatting and laughing.

The sun is high in the sky and the day is really warm, but this little glen is nice and cool.

“Did you have a good nap Ratel?” The lap asks me.

I did-n’t. Looking up into bright yellow eyes positioned over a snout filled with sharp smiling teeth, I smile and nuzzle. She’s soft and comfy, and feels like she’s worried I’ll find her scary. Nah, she’s cute.

Looking closer I realize she has really smooth but textured skin covered in stripes, small claws for fingers, and a snout like a dog. Her little forked tongue slithers out of her mouth and back. Woah.

I just stare at her. I’ve never seen someone who looks like this. So cool.

I guess she noticed me looking her all over because she picks me up, turns me around, and sits me on her lap to get a better look.

“I’m a Kobold.” … “Gobolb?” … ~giggle~ “Close enough. Kobolds are reptiles, lizard people, kinda. We’re not very large, unlike actual lizardfolk, and not related to dragons or dragonborn at all. But, yeah! I’m a Kobold.”

I reach up and start rubbing her face and snout, as it dissolves in my fingers. Blinding and searing light tearing through her head.

Children start screaming. The pretties rush to the chest and start pulling out weapons and armor. Lady Wisemore, a mace and shield appearing in her hands, starts barking orders as she closes in on a large shadowy winged creature.

Her mace glows with bright blue-white-gold light as she swings it. The light flashes and the creature explodes into gooey dark chunks.

However, more and more of the creatures are descending on the park by the second. The other people are already torn apart into bloody chunks… that start rolling together and moving as a horrific abomination of flesh and bone.

Janice, being the closest to me, picks me up and starts running towards the pretties. “Don’t worry Ratel, I’ll protect you.”

She says with a smile and all the confidence she can muster- right before a lance of black fire smashed down through her shoulder, splitting her in half.

The smell of burnt flesh assaults me as the smile on her face locks, her eyes go dark, and she collapses in half, dropping me into the grass.

All around me hundreds of creatures overrun my friends, my mothers - the people I care about are dying in droves.

Screaming in rage, in impotence, at how useless this tiny body is when I’m needed - I push off the ground to my feet and start to move towards the ring of pretties still standing. Standing over the corpses of each other piled in the middle. They’re trying to make it to me but there’s too many.

I see the panic in Cosmia’s eyes knowing she’s too far from me but lunges anyway- breaking their formation and getting cut in half by a massive black sword that appears in one of the Things hands.

The last thing I see before a maw closes around my head is the look of horror and pain in the pretties eyes as they lose everything they love - again.

– – –

I come back to myself as the music and the dance fades to silence.

Whistles, cheers, and screams echo around me. There are so many people!

The park is absolutely bursting at the seams with people. They’re packed shoulder to shoulder. Standing, sitting, lounging. There’s an empty space where Aaliyah was dancing - but everywhere else I can see is full of people.

I see Lady Wisemore and a bunch of other people in armor gathered around the park, seeming to have brought people from across the entire city to watch the performance.

“Today we celebrate someone special to us. We Sisters of the Broken Hearth have, together, claimed a lost soul of our own.” She points at me, “This little one has helped each of us heal and mend, to smile and feel the warmth of the sun again, to be able to walk amongst the people and no longer be crushed by our grief. Today we wish to proclaim to the world his name, Ratel. If you enjoy our performance, give your thanks to Ratel.”

I feel a million eyes turn to me. I can feel their acknowledgement, their excitement. They begin clapping. A feeling of contentment, of belonging, settles onto my shoulders as something swells around me. A force, an energy, flows deep into the core of my being. The energy flows through me, into me, past me, and links to the people around me.

The music and dancing starts back up again.

Swirls of rainbow begin to grow out from me to all the people around me, weaving between us and connecting back to the pretties playing and dancing.

Not from me. From them. I notice. Priscilla’s motions, snapping, and tapping of her foot seem to be giving off pulses of pure energy, clear rainbows without color - invisible, but I just know they’re there.

The pulses of energy seem to flow along her hands to the various pretties with their instruments.

No. No. Something’s wrong.

The pulses of energy split and twist. The brilliant colors and sounds of the music become dark and malevolent. The music pulses, the sounds start to screech. The rainbow colors invert and become a mockery.

The void that I can feel behind the music splits open, revealing a horrid monstrosity with arms, tentacles, mouths, eyes, and claws.

It begins to wave its tentacles and the music - the magic - changes. People begin to twist. Instead of their ideal selves they morph into the worst versions of themselves.

A void full of stars begins to bleed malice.

I can feel magic itself begin to twist to the desire of this Thing - this perversion of all that magic is or could be.

I feel something inside me start to break. I begin to cry. The beauty and love, the life, the magic of the world was not what I believed it to be. Life, living, is a twisted perversion.

The truth, Truth, is that all reality is is just a pathetic mewling attempt to hide from the abomination before me.

The world itself starts to peel away as it turns to me, looking me in the eyes. I see the pretties, enthralled, turn ugly, horrid, bloated. I see their sneers, their mockery towards my weakness, the people - no monsters in human flesh - dancing around in viscous glee.

I see magic itself unravel and turn evil.

The thing breaking in me shatters. I fall into despair. I feel myself give into the Thing from beyond.

My want to live, broken. My will to fight back destroyed. If even magic can become like this then there is nothing worth protecting. There is nothing to live for. I’ll just let go of it all and go back to the before. To the time when I wasn’t aware, wasn’t awake. To the time when magic was just me being a ripple of intent across myself.

…

*SKRRRCH*

OWW! What the fuck?

*SKRRRCH* ~ZAP~ *SKRRRCH*

My consciousness starts to bounce in and out of my body. I hear gasps and sounds of people around me, flashes of light, explosions of pain - then nothing.

I feel a buildup of pressure that I know is going to lead to another shock of that horrid feeling.

*SKRRRCH*

My lungs catch on fire.

*SKRRRCH*

My chest explodes in pain again.

A pause.

*SKRRRCH*

A memory flows back into me.

*Bzzkasht* ~FLASH~ *Kha ka, zzzzzz, OOOMMMMM, skreet*

Another memory.

… Thirty become one. The sparks of starlight in the beautiful black spiral begin to move, touch, and reach out to the people around them. There’s a shuddering deep breath in the air itself, and then sparks of starlight begin to drift out of the people reveling in the park. Children, elderly, young, old, human, orc, elf, dwarf, florenite, gnome, fey, goblin, dwarf, and species I’ve never seen or heard of before, add their colors to the twisting spiral of rainbow stars. …

I look again at the evil, the horrors around me. The perversion of magic itself.

Then I look into the eyes of hate and malice.

A single stray thought bubbles up as I stare into the embodiment of evil itself…

You look really lonely.

I reach out towards the malice, the hate, the twisted versions of everyone. I remember the feeling of magic, of joy, of connection, of life and beauty, of intent and passion.

I ball up my whole understanding of magic, of life, of the universe, into the middle of my chest.

I slowly pull it out. My soul.

I reach it out to the incarnation of loneliness. “If you’re that lonely I’ll play with you. Here, show me the world how you see it. You’ll never have to be lonely again.”

I push my soul across the divide, through the magic, out of my body. I feel myself begin to fade away as I disconnect from my body.

“Don’t worry. It will be ok. I’ll be your friend.”

*FLASH* ~~ *Shatter*

The flash of light, emanating from me as I leave my body, shatters the illusion.

I find myself floating as a disembodied sphere in the same void I started in.

Nah, this won’t do.

I will - and turn from a soul into a body, finding myself as that strange adult form from earlier.

Better!

From the very space around me, the light of the twinkling stars, a humanoid outline of a shape forms.

I feel it staring at me. I can feel its presence causing ripples in the void itself.

Not void, astral. I suddenly know.

“Yeah, knock that off. Speak to me like a person or get out of my dream.” I say at the strange shape thing before pulling my legs up and sitting in lotus again. I have no idea why, but this is a really comfy way to sit.

The figure cocks its head to the side before forming a mouth and eyes of stars. “Interesting. I have never before seen a being like you.”

“Dude. Everyone is unique. Each person, each bug, every blade of grass is unique in its own way. If you keep treating me like I’m special I’m gonna have to assume there’s something wrong with you.” I reply while picking at my ear.

Strange. “Oy, what did I just say about that?”

The figure looks shocked for a moment before opening its mouth. “I didn’t push that. You read that from me. Very interesting.”

I shrug. It hasn’t asked me for anything, and I can’t think of anything I want from it right now, so I just sit here and enjoy the expanse of void around me. It’s super comfy and just feels right in a way that words can’t express.

The figure, seeming to give up, crosses its legs, puts its head on its fist, and in the most resigned tone I’ve ever heard asks me a question. “What is your purpose here?”

I look around the void in confusion. “What do you mean? Wasn’t this supposed to be some trial or something?”

Something about the figure shakes. Then it shifts, explodes, and reforms, before throwing its head back and laughing. The astral seems to vibrate with its laugh.

“I know not why you are here, nor what that means for all of us.” The figure gestures around at the void, which seems to suddenly expand, filling out with huge spheres all around the edges that dance between themselves. Hundreds, thousands, millions of spheres - each a world unto themselves - spiraling around each other in an endless cosmic dance of balance, creation, and destruction. Neat!

From each of the spheres a different figure emerges. They all feel like the impressions of each of the worlds given form. It doesn’t really feel like they’re all here, not like the figure sitting across from me, but they do seem to take notice.

“Well, this all seems like a lot of something.” I gesture around me at whatever this all is. “Look dude, dude? Hold up, what do I call you? Wait, that’s rude of me.” I stand up, clasp my fists together in greeting - left fist into right palm, right hand covering left fist to show greeting but distance because I am not here with an open mind and purpose, that would be with an open hand.

Laughing again, the figure stands and returns the greeting. “Greetings Ratel. I do not have a name, per se, but you would know me as The Fist.” The literal god replies to me.

“Ah, that would explain all the…” I floppily wave my hand around me, “this. I guess.”

He calmly replies to my flippancy, “You really have no deference or fear of the Gods do you. And why would you?”

“Nah. I mean, worst you could do is kill and torture my soul or something right? If I just think of it as a new experience and new challenge to overcome, then what would there be to fear?” I shrug.

The Fist nods his head at me. “Then perhaps a boon is in order. What would you ask of me?”

“Honestly? Not a clue. I like food, naps in the sun, spending time with my moms, and making friends. I’d ask you something on their behalf, but I think they have most of what they want anyways. Any chance I can hold onto that boon for later? That might be selfish of me, but I figure having gotten to meet The Fist and being able to ask you for a favor later would be pretty cool…” I trail off tapping my chin.

“Alright, how’s this? I would like you to owe me a favor, but with some stipulation on it. I can’t use it as a shortcut, a safety net, or an intervention. It has to be something subtle, and a challenge for you to do but is still possible. Yeah. I want you to owe me a favor that I can use to challenge you.” Yeah! I like this idea.

The god splutters - You want me to owe you a favor so that you can provide ME with a challenge?! I ACCEPT!

“Neat! Now what?”

The world flashes gold-blue-white again and I’m back to being a baby on an altar.

I vaguely feel the memories of what I experienced, but like the dream they are, they slowly fade away.

Blinking, I look around at the temple. The bands of light holding me down dissolve into bubbles of light that float around me - popping with tiny colored flashes as I poke them.

I scratch at the itching on my chest. Pulling my clothes thing down to see what itches, I notice a tiny white marble fist with veins of gold fade into a small birthmark the size of my thumb on my chest.

Huh. Maybe that dream wasn’t just a dream…