94TH GEAR - THIS IS ONE MESSED-UP TRAINING DIARY
If you are reading this right now, then that just means that I am dead.
Well, not dead, but maybe I am trying to die. You will learn later why I wanted to die as soon as you finish reading this chapter.
Anyway, I already started the rough draft of my book. I decided to call the book I am writing right now “Speedmage Tournament” and I am planning to keep it all simple like that.
There have been a lot of changes at the time of writing this draft. We devoted most of our time to serious, repetitive, but fun practice, so we will just skip those parts. I will just give a summary of other notable things that happened.
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Two weeks of boring study days have come by so fast that it is now the finals. As a standard of the most prestigious academy in the country, Saint Crusade has derived an academic technique to make its standards consistent.
And so, for all the first years, Professor Comette Azure was the one who took charge of all the exams.
“Good morning, dipshits! Today we are taking the Final Exams. I hope you all read the reviewers.” Professor Azure said.
“Yes Ma’am!” The students replied.
“...because none of those questions are on this test! Now, the finals is about twenty chapters we never went over in class.”
“W-What!?”
“The finals are not multiple choice.”
“W-Whaaa!?”
“The final consists of 100 questions, I need five paragraphs of an answer for each question, and don’t forget the fifty-page essay question at the back.”
“Eeeeh?”
“And this final exam consists a hundred percent of all of your grades in all your other subjects, meaning that if you fail this test, you fail every class you’re taking this school year and you get kicked out from this academy.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?”
“Now any questions or violent reactions?”
Several students raised their hands.
“You can submit your complaints right here.” Professor Azure magically manifested a teaching stick and pointed to the trash can beside the door.
And there you have it. Miss Terror delivered a devastating blow to all our egos, which terrorized all of us first years in the academy.
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After the final exams, we immediately got the results. I had to ask how Flu fare in the finals as we looked at the rankings board.
“Jonathan! Jonathan!” Flu hopped with joy. “Look! Look! I got A's in all of the subjects!”
“R-Really!?”
I immediately snatched her papers in disbelief. I scanned all her test scores, and she was right! She got consistent A’s on every subject, and some of them are A+!
Right then and there, I was attacked by the abyss of depression. I curled like a hedgehog at the side of the corridor, hugging my test results with B+ scores. Just like midterms, I only answered the questions that will give me a passing score of above 80%. If only I knew Flu would be this smart during the finals, I would have stepped up and tried to compete with her!
Yeah, I know I should be happy that she passed with flying colors. It is way better than having her fail a subject.
But the moment that I saw Fluonessia Asahime at the #1 Rank of all the first years in the final exams, despair caught my heart.
I have learned a lesson about the weirdness of human behavior: If your girlfriend fails, you will feel bad. But if your girlfriend is the topnotcher, you will feel worse.
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Our Useless Prez chewed Cruzo and I. Cruzo barely passed his finals, and I got the same arrogant issue that I now deeply regret. On the other hand, Flu got all the praise from that barfing president so I should still be happy for Flu.
Anyway, there was no issue for any of the Speedmages of the Merry Knights. We immediately worked on the paperwork in collaboration with the Cool Escape and the Eaglecrest Guilds for a second Joint Training Camp. It was immediately approved by the higher-ups of the academy, but since the school will be almost abandoned after the finals, the training camp will be conducted at Saint Crusade Academy itself to minimize the expenses of renting a venue.
It was beneficial for us all as every student is already familiar with the campus. To add some more benefits, some of the budgets were used to invite medical healers, spell specialists, and even food stalls to cater to every Speedmage’s needs. The reason why we hired food stalls to cover for our food is that we do not want to have the Croquette Incident last time have a Season 2. Too bad they only serve bacon shawarmas...
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Everybody was excited during the preparation for the training camp, especially my lovable players.
“Bacon Shawarma! Bacon Shawarma! Bacon Shawarmaaaa!” Cruzo celebrated.
“Where’s my sick bag!? Where’s my sick bag!? Where’s my sick baaaaag!?” Ericka panicked.
“Speed Battles! Speed Battles! Speed Battleeeees!” Flu squealed.
The three Speedmages of the Merry Knights are as lively, stupid, and wacky as ever.
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The practice has finally started, and they appointed me as the Head Coach of this Joint Training Camp. Last time it was Captain Tezza, but since we are the host of this event, I got the approval of the entire Merry Knights, Eaglecrest, and Cool Escape Speedmages. It was uplifting to be the head coach of the best Speedmages in the school even though they entirely know that I am magicless.
As a result, I rewarded them in the form of punishment.
“Speedmages, get ready for our routine! You will have to do one hundred pushups, one hundred situps, one hundred squats, and ten-kilometer running every single day for a warmup! You will only have a banana for breakfast, and nobody shall use the magical air conditioning of the gym! You will all suffer until your hair falls off and turn bald! Do you understand?”
“Coach, yes, coach!” All of them answered.
That is just for the warmup every morning. The practice regimen will differ every day and it depends on the schedule.
For the main focus, we had our star players Fluonessia and Captain Liri do specialized practices. As Flu decided back then, she wanted to fight all the Eaglecrest and Cool Escape Speedmages, so we scheduled five Speedmages that will fight her every single day. Liri also did the same to widen her view on the ranges of Speedmages out there.
Flu and Liri will be fighting Speedmage Champions from every district of the empire, so it is just natural that they have this kind of intense training.
“Haaah… Haaah… Haaah…” Both Flu and Liri panted after finishing their fifth and last Speed Battle for the day.
It was already afternoon when we finished, and we are wrapping up our practice session to a conclusion.
“Y-You’re a demon! You’re a demon coach!” Liri protested and pointed at me as if I were a criminal. Then she turned to Flu who is still gasping for air. “How can you withstand a boyfriend this sadistic and ruthless?”
Flu gave a smile of despair and blank eyes. “You will get used to it.”
“Waaaaah!” Liri cried as she used Flora Accel to run away from me.
I just forced a smile as I looked at Liri's green contrail streaks rushing towards the school gate. Am I that devilish? Should I tone down their practice a little bit?
Just as I was contemplating, I heard some murmurs behind my back.
“Phew. That was a long day of practice that I’m hungry already.” Cruzo muttered right next to me.
“Yeah. I’m quite thirsty too. If only our demonic coach would treat us to some snacks and drinks.” Ericka smirked behind me.
“You guys know that I can hear you, right? I’m just right next to you guys, you don’t have to whisper out loudly to attack my conscience. You can just tell me upfront.” I said with a cold gaze.
“Oh, we’re sorry about that, Head Coach!” Cruzo said. Then his stomach growled.
“Get us some food and drinks already, Head Coaaaaaach!” Ericka pretended to tantrum.
“Aaaargh! Shut up! Shut up already!” I scratched my head.
I immediately withdrew my wallet and gave them a portion of my allowance from getting appointed as a Head Coach. These two are as irritating as ever, but it will never hurt if I treat them to a meal. Despite their whining and complaints, they still do whatever I told them and they are tackling this training camp seriously.
“Yaaay! We can buy any food or drinks with this, right?” Cruzo celebrated. “I can buy ten bacon shawarmas with this, right? Right?”
“Do whatever you want. Shoo. Shoo.” I said with a hand gesture casting them off.
“Oh, Cruzo! Go get me the most expensive drink out there.” Ericka smirked.
“Hey!” I protested.
“...And give one for Flu too.” Ericka continued to grin.
“Woaaah! You’re going to treat me too, Coach?” Flu’s eyes twinkled and then she pumped her fists. “Thank you, Coach! I really really really looooooove you!”
I forced a smile.
This Useless Prez is holding my love for Flu a hostage! She knows I will never refuse to spend a lot if it’s for the better of our star player.
Well played, Useless Prez. Well played.
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Heffy, the paparazzi classmate of ours who is part of the Journalist Club covered the Joint Training Camp as one of the biggest news of Saint Crusade Academy. She took pictures and videos of Speedmages giving their 100% in practice, but her main focus is to interview our star players.
“Miss Fluonessia Asahime, there are rumors that you are now dubbed as the perfect princess of the whole campus! You are beautiful, kind, sexy, athletic, and most recently, smart! You earned a place in the National Speedmage Tournament and topped the Final Exams! What is your secret?”
“It’s just simple! I just do 4 S’s in my life!” Flu smiled adorably at the camera.
“4S? What are those S’s?”
“Sleep, snacks, Speed Battles, and sex!” Flu cheerfully replied.
“Whoa! Whoa! What are you saying, Flu!?” I cried.
I immediately rushed to the camera and covered the lens. I know I have to stop and delete the recording, but I do not know how to mute this thing. There is no other choice but to break it! This is necessary to protect Flu and my dignity!
I raised the camera, ready to slam it to the ground, but then-
“Wait! Wait! Don’t break it! That camera is my life!” Heffy cried.
“Then get a new life!” I cried.
“Be honest. There is something juicy going on in here, isn’t it?” Ericka, who was just watching on the sidelines, joined the conversation with a smirk.
“That’s none of your concern! You should not pry unto our private matters!” I cried.
As I was about to smash the camera to the ground, all of a sudden, two contrail streaks appeared and pinned me to the wall! I realized that the camera is now gone from my hand, and two macho men are holding me- Cruzo and President Levi!
“Oh my! Ahahaha!” Ericka laughed menacingly. “Cruzo and President Levi, keep him pinned. Heffy and I will handle Fluonessia from here.”
“Yes, Prez Ericka!” Levi replied. “If it means uncovering the secrets of the Demonic Coach, then I shall join forces with your filthy guild!”
“I’m sorry, Head Coach.” Cruzo gave a sorry smile. “We are kind of curious about Flu’s interview too. We need to hear Flu's secret about her determination, guts, and love!”
“You traitors!” I cried. “Let me go!”
I tried to struggle, but it was hopeless. I’m just a skinny guy being held down by two macho men, and even without their magic, I cannot even dream of breaking free from them.
Meanwhile, Flu is being interrogated by Useless Prez and Heffy with the magical video camera still recording.
“So, what’s the story, Flu?” Ericka was the first to ask with a perverted smirk. “How was Jonathan? Say what? It is a big powerful lance comparable to Gae Bolg? He names his sword Excalibur!? Cringe!”
“Ooooh! You guys tried unlimited techniques!?” Heffy started to blush. “You got a Missionary Doggy to bring a Pile Driver in the Champagne Room!? Woaaah!”
“Hey, Flu! What are you telling them!? Stop it!” I cried.
I’m so embarrassed right now that I want to bury my head under the snow and suffocate! Just give me something to handle the shame and let me die!