The sun was shining right above our heads as the forest grew thinner and thinner. Eventually, we found ourselves in a vast open plain, with grass reaching up to our waists.

"Whhhoooooo!!!" Gothra was the first one to jump in at this change in scenery, swimming through the vast ocean of grass.

"AAAHHHHHHH!!!" Then came a scream, followed by Gothra disappearing from our sight!

"Oi! What's wrong!?" As I asked that, Valkjure was already rushing in, her sword drawn.

Bereo also materialized, hefting Gothra back up and revealing her being entangled by a large green snake that was also sinking its jaws deep into her!

She was already below half HP!

Seeing this, Valkjure did not hesitate and cut the snake off of Gothra, doubling herself in the process.

Both Valkjure's swords glowed bright red, and that was enough to kill the enemy.

Of course, given that we're in a party, Gothra took absolutely no damage from that.

"Whew, thanks Valkjure," She said, hugging the streamer with her bloodied body.

"G-Gothra! I'm flattered, but ew!"

"Eh!? Am I that terrible!?"

"Yes you are! Bwahahahahaha!"

"No one asked you shit taste Fira!"

"What!? My taste is far better than yours for sure!"

"Prove it!"

"I will!"

I was about to pull up my entire browser history when Valkjure suddenly interrupted us. Tch, you get to live this time, Gothra. "It's not like that! But, uh, Gothra. Why doesn't the blood come off of you?"

"It's the symbol of a great fight!"

"Uhuh... Huh?"

"Yes."

"O-Okay..."

See? I'm not the only one who thought that was weird! Maybe it's novel at first, but blood is very icky! Specially monster blood with their varying consistencies.

And then Gothra collapsed.

Wait, what?

"I... I can't go on anymore..." Gothra continued, her voice coming out hoarse and weak.

"Gothra!" I rushed over to her side as well, while Valkjure propped her up. "What happened?"

"T-The snake... It looks like... I was poisoned..."

"No! I... There must be a cure!" Tears were forming in my eyes!

"Fira... Valkjure... I love you guys... Stay strong... I will always be with you... Even if you can no longer see me..."

"Gothra! Noooo!!!!"

"[Cure.]"

"Oh hey, I'm better! See, I told you not to worry!"

Huh?

Wait, what happened this time?

"Thanks so much again Valk!"

"Oh, uh... Don't mention it!"

Oh, Valkjure actually has a skill for curing status effects.

"Nice," I said, "How'd you even get a curing spell? What could be the conditions..."

"I bought it."

"Ah, right, you're rich."

"Eat the rich! But not Valk, she's a nice rich!"

"I-I see..."

"Gothra, I've been thinking this for a while, but aren't you also filthy rich? We're all technically rich, but from what you've told us of your big tower, there's no way the free System Money alone can build that..."

"Oh! You're right Fira!" Valkjure agreed, "Then I guess we'll eat you too!"

"Fine by me! Let's all eat each other and see who wins!"

...

"Okay," Gothra raised her hand timidly, "I would just like to say that I didn't mean it in that way... So stop looking at me like that!"

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

"Pfft!"

"Gaahaha! Gothra, I didn't know that that's why you befriended us!"

"What!? Of course not! You're both genuinely my friends!" Gothra raised her voice and took a more serious tone.

"Okay, okay," I sighed. "Let's go?"

"Let's!"

We made our way into this new biome, encountering new opponents along the way. There were the classic orcs, some variety of a lion-like monster, different kinds of snakes, some being as thick as we are wide.

There are also these large brown birds up above, hovering over us as we made our way through the grassy plains.

"Sqoooorraaacccckkk!" They cried like they were taking a big fat dump. Hahahaha--!

Poop!

And just then, a thick, slimy, gooey blob of brown landed on top of me...

This is... Shit! It's literal shit!

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shitty Fira! Gahahahahaha!"

"Grrr...! Shut up Gothra! RaaahHHH!"

"Hehe... Hahahahaha!"

"Not you too, Valkjure!" I protested.

"Sorry, sorry. But that was perfect..."

"Yes! It was perfect! Fira, you should do some mor--"

Poop!

"GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Poopy Gothra! How the tables have turned!"

"You're still covered in shit too, asshole!"

"Guys," Valkjure started to mutter something, but we were too busy bickering.

"There's more on you!"

"No there isn't! It's the same uniform amount!"

"What? Did you measure it? What a fucking idiot!"

"GUYS!" Valkjure shouted. We both looked over at the same time and saw her jumping away from a falling shit. "Look at your fucking HP bars you idiots!"

I glanced at mine and then at Gothra. I was down by 20%, meanwhile, Gothra's went down by a third.

Okay... This shit isn't just disgusting. It's strong too.

"What do those birds eat!?" Gothra shouted, running around in a zigzag pattern to avoid any more falling shits.

I turned my gaze upwards, hoping to read the trajectory. I can always use [System Overdrive] as well.

I kept on dodging the shit bombs like I'm playing some sort of arcade game, and Gothra just kept running around randomly. Valkjure was dodging them as well, and also mixing in slashes here and there.

They're too high up, and it's so fucking hard to hit them from here with any of our ranged options.

Do we just run ahead and hope to eventually outrun the rain of shit, or...

Thud, thud!

Just as I was thinking up a plan in my head, several figures started walking towards us, coming from all sides.

Why? Even Gothra is not dumb enough to have Bereo spray his thing all over in this situation!

"It's the shit!" Gothra suddenly started shouting!

"What the fuck do you mean!? That this is a good thing? Bathe in shit by yourself if you want it so much!"

"Not that fuckface! Look at your status!"

"My status... Oh shit."

[Odor]

I saw that condition in my status. It's quite easy to imagine what its effects are...

"We're getting surrounded!" Valkjure shouted at us, "What do we do?"

"Maybe they're friendly?"

"I'm being serious Gothra!"

"Yeah, yeah! What she said! Don't be a stupid idiot fuckface shit eater!"

"I-I didn't say that!" Valkjure cried

"Fira, you're the shit eater!"

"So you admit to everything else!?"

"No! I did not say that!"

"Ah!" Valkjure yelped as if remembering something and then started to float.

I narrowed my eyes and stared right at her, "You forgot?"

"Eh!? No, no. My Speed is halved in this state. I don't even know if I can catch those shitty birds. Literally."

"Hmm."

"Bereo!" And then Gothra summoned Bereo and had him begin pointing his gun upwards towards the bird shitters! "That should dull their movements. Valkjure, kill them. Fira, with me. We're taking care of the oncoming enemies."

""Roger!""

Our enemies on the ground consisted of Orcs, Lions, and I'm pretty sure there are those large snakes just hiding underneath the tall grass.

Gothra took one side, holding off the enemies there, while I went for the other, aiming to kill them and reduce their numbers.

Keeping myself alert, I dodged a snake jumping right at me. I grabbed its head with my hand as it shot past and then stepped on its body with my foot.

Its length now extended before me, I began bashing it with my hammer like it was the string of a guitar instrument.

Smash! Smash! SNAP!

The snake was split into two, scattering its guts everywhere, but thankfully, mysterious forces immediately gets rid of anything that gets on me.

Thanks to the sound of gunfire, most of the enemies on my side are not even going after me, however, Bereo won't last long at this rate.

I grabbed a snake going after him by the tail end, and then went for its head.

Smash! Smash! Smash!

Over and over and over!

A lion came running and I tangled with it, weaving through its claws and jaws while getting my own attacks to land. Of course, this was all helped by my [System Eye] skill.

I kept on getting rid of the snakes and lions, sometimes using fireballs to turn their attention back on me to lighten the burden on Bereo. Other times, I used Flaming Weapon to deal increased damage to these foes.

Eventually, the slower orcs arrived, and I contented with them by smashing fireballs directly into their bulky bodies, along with my hammer that is on fire. Even that was not enough to one-shot them, but they came very close as a kick would be enough to break them after that.

They are very capable tanks, but due to their speed, I wouldn't have had trouble dodging even without my unique skill.

As the fight went on, I checked a little on how my compatriots are doing, and saw Gothra letting go of all strategy and just whacking away at her enemies.

Her health was getting dangerously low!

Having almost finished with my side, I rushed over to help her.

"Stand back for now. I'll take over."

"I cannot!" her answer was through telepathy.

"What stupid are you brewing now? You'll die, you know?!"

"Berserk! I'm Berserked! Get away or I might hit on you too!"

"Hit on...?" Even as I joked, I already moved away, understanding what Gothra was saying.

I looked at Gothra's status and found that she had Sadistic Slaughter active as well. Hmm, so berserk can supersede its taunt. I need to find my own game interactions to take advantage of.

As I mused, I threw fireballs in the faces of Gothra's enemies in order to turn their focus on me. Without using [Hammer Batter], my accuracy with basic fireballs is almost perfect thanks to [System Eye]

Their attentions turned on me, and I smashed them with my hammer as they approached.

Once Gothra's self-inflicted berserk was over, she batted away a corpse, and then ran behind me in the opening that was created. Just a few more seconds there and her HP probably would've succumbed.

With me taking the vanguard, Gothra kept up her CC from the back and we finished off the remaining enemies from this side, and then the ones I left on my end after they took out Bereo.

Valkjure finished around the same time we did, as I saw a bizzare sight up in the sky. There was Valkjure floating, while holding another Valkjure.

The Valkjure being hefted up was tanking the beaks of the two remaining birds without even breaking a sweat, and then she swung her sword releasing a massive destructive wave of energy that sent both birds crashing down.

That Valkjure was dropped by the other Valkjure. The falling Valkjure kept swinging her sword mid-fall in vain, and then she disappeared into particles of light.

The other still-floating Valkjure then proceeded to drop down herself, floating once more just before she hit the ground.

"It's a new technique I discovered!" she shouted, all excited, "Regardless of my halved agility, I still fall like normal!"

Well, good for her. It is clever, I'll admit.