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Souls Unlimited Online: An Over-The-Top VR Comedy.
Chapter 19: Gothra Spends Time By Herself.

Chapter 19: Gothra Spends Time By Herself.

< Player: Gothra Tankernov >

< Logging in... >

< Welcome. >

My sight blacked out for but a moment, just a minor glimpse into the void, and then I found myself in a somewhat familiar pastel-colored medieval town.

The world of Souls Unlimited Online, where Unique Skills are given for free, and... it's been very generic so far aside from that. But hey, it's still fun!

What Fira showed me last time was a video of me, myself, this Gothra Tankernov character of mine, as well as the lovely Bereo.

Very weird, why was he taking videos? Tsk, tsk, Fira. Tsk tsk.

Jokes aside, that wasn't a video posted by him apparently, but by the streamers in this game, not to be confused with streakers.Not that I'd mind seeing that.

So, one of these streakers was right by the central square fountain where I was just, you know, doing normal game stuff.

Have these people never seen a gun before? And what would be so special about me laughing? I'm playing a game, having fun is the point, isn't it?

Oh, maybe that's it. If it's me who's laughing then people are just smitten. Can't be helped then, my devilish nature pierces through even the boundaries of the virtual space!

"Hey, is that her?"

"Who?"

"Look at her System Avatar!"

"Ohh... Gun Bear and The Laughing Empress."

"Yea, The Sadistic Queen, and her lackey."

"So brave, I would never put my System Avatar on full display like that..."

"A fursuit and some goth clothes? That's plain compared to the insanity you're brewing up."

"H-hey! Don't make baseless accusations!"

And... people are talking. About me.

I walk through the streets filled with players of all shapes and sizes, trying to ignore the curious stares.

Like, it's fine. I can roll with it. I'm not gonna freak out like that spineless Fira. But... it's so much more embarrassing by myself!

That idiot Fira! We were talking and I told him I was logging back in, but he still was still busy reading something so I went on ahead.

He told me how much he loved this 'Megamachia: I got bored of the zombie apocalypse so I went to wreak havoc on another world' light novel he just found, and after hearing that, I just had to drop the topic.

I only sighed and let it be, not telling him that I was ArchMaou, the author of that book. I mean I've never revealed my identity to anyone, but I'm not trying to hide it at all! I use the same name on Systagram where I take some cool dark pictures sometimes. Does he actually know and is just teasing me!?

Well, no matter. I'd rather he didn't know for now because I'm curious as to his unfiltered opinion of the book. It's not that I don't want him to sugarcoat things. Rather, it's that I don't want him to bittercoat things. If he knew I was the author then I bet that idiot would nitpick every minor little detail.

"S-she's staring right at me!"

"Idiot it's me!"

"Bet you stupid fucks pissed her off. Look at her, she's angry."

"That's the same face I make when I take a shit."

"It's what I make when fucking."

"H-hey! I don't need you to console me!"

Yikes. I'm not a fucking show!

It's so easy to calm down when Fira is here because he freaks out first, then I laugh at him. But I'm about to fold without a heel!

I retreat into a corner, my eyes tracing around the many colorful avatars the other players have. From eldritch abominations to those so beautiful their faces look fake.

How long is Fira going to take? Isn't he supposed to be a quick shot? Hurry up! Hahahahhaa!

Is he really fine with missing this new event? The very first one? I know it's not very flashy, just the collect X and then exchange for items kind. But isn't that insanely useful? I don't really play MMOs or other games as much as I do other shit, but I'm pretty sure it is! Especially the one at the start.

Sigh. And now I'm being dragged along with his tardiness.

...

...

...

Nope, still nothing. I've been waiting for a while now. A good several minutes! That's a lot in Gothra time!

...

I made myself scarce on a random bench I got all to myself, then pulled out some menus, deciding to go over the announcement and details for the new event one more time.

___________________________________

Primordial Creation Bonus Event!

Collect the residual divine power by slaying foes... or perhaps even friends.

The resulting Divine Shards can be exchanged for ever more luxurious rewards! Some of whom would soon be expensive essentials!

So make sure to grab those souls and extract those shards!

______________________________

Yeah, it's very basic, but I checked the available rewards earlier, and there are fast travel options, "warp" options, a float skill, and many other sorts of unique items that I need to buy.

But I'm saving up for a gun right now, and the materials I could exchange for might great expedite the process.

The fast travel and warp options costs 20 divine shards a piece, but I've naught an idea how much or how little that actually is.

Of course, I could just rely on Fira for it, you can take all your party members with you whenever you use them, but I don't want to impose on him too much. I'd been contributing a lot in previous battles, but I think I'd fall off hard in the coming levels because I'm actually holding quite a bit of stat points right now, and I'd likely continue to do so until I at least get a concrete answer on what stat my gun would use...

I waved my hand and brought up my status screen.

__________________________________________________________________

[Name: Gothra Tankernov]

[Level: 13/99]

{Status Effects: None]

[HP: 175/175]

[MP: 75/75]

[Strength: 20]

[Magic: 5]

[Defense: 15]

[Resilience: 15]

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

[Speed: 80]

[Stat Points: 45]

{Skills:]

[Camping] [Wilderness] [Survival] [Cooking] [Butcher] [Fire Resistance] [Meteor Drop] [Mace User] [Unchivalrous Battle] [Balance Breaker] [Dead Desecrate] [Sadistic Slaughter] [Last Stand] [Haunted] [Berserk] [Exorcist] [Exorcism] [Corpse Pocket] [Might of The Little] [...]

[Unique Skill:]

[System Reliance]

_______________________________________________________________

I'm holding off on 45 points in total, just ready to drop in whatever stat the gun requires. Speed I've ended up spending a lot in, but that's fine, it's good to have something that can mitigate the damage I take, and Bereo's already a tank, and he just got some new skills after our last battles. Not to mention the one he already has which allows him to teleport right next to me instantly.

It's better to focus on speed as although I don't have Fira's cheat, I am pretty good at evasion just by myself I think. I've played many different kinds of characters in all types of games. MOBAs are especially demanding, and I managed to score a spot in the top 100 for one month in Toxic Legends as a solo player. Even got a cool unique plaque delivered to me for it. I'm proud of that, I have it hung up in my room!

Though I didn't want to touch another MOBA for years though after that fucking grind...

Was it worth it? Only The System knows.

Oh, and there are some new abilities I haven't yet checked. First of which is berserk which I think I got while whacking away the ghosts with [Sadistic Slaughter] as Fira carried me. It's just a basic berserk skill, but... hmmm, it does silence me, and so does Sadistic Slaughter. I would've loved to pair them together, but is that possible? Can I cast the second one even while silenced? Cast at the same time? Hmmm...

I kept checking my new abilities and saw something that sounded really fucking cool.

Corpse Dimension

The angel of death, that is me, descends onto the battlefield, twisting the very fabric of reality and bringing forth her ghastly army!

Sounds really fucking cool!

But well, it's actually a very basic skill. Probably an essential one for builds that focus a lot on corpses.

Its effect is pretty simple, really. It creates a secondary inventory for your corpses that you can access anywhere.

This might sound strange, but there should be events and situations where opening your inventory just wouldn't be allowed by the rules, but this skill lets you use corpses you've stock-piled anyway. And if you use mana, the corpses can even launch themselves out of the portal to this inventory by themselves, though the damage they cause will always be negligible. I can still picture using them to disrupt other players, bonus points if they're very squeamish to gore!

This game is pretty graphic in general, so probably no one here is that bad with splatter and blood.

There is also that one called [Might of The Little]. I looked at myself and confirmed that I am indeed of ample height. What part of me is little?

That part sure isn't. Neither that one. Or this. Hmmm... I don't get it.

< [Might of The Little] : The user will now do 20% of their damage at a minimum, instead of the usual 10% >

Alright, I accept it. I'm a little teeny weeny chibi. If that's what it takes to use this then I shall become small as a mouse!

...

I spent some more time tinkering around my status, until I suddenly heard someone shouting up a storm.

"Heeeeyyyyy!!"

it was the voice of a woman, approaching from afar, seemingly getting closer and closer.

Look at them, being able to meet up with their party so soon. I'm not jealous! Hmph! Hmph!

Hahaha!

"You! You there!"

Ignoring the ruckus I went back to exploring my status, playing some random music from a playlist inside my head.

Hm~ Hm~ Hm~

"Hello. You're the Gun Empress, right? That player laughing as her furry goth avatar unloaded on a busy street!"

Oh wow. What an apt description. Hahahahhaha!

"Yes I am~ That is my name~"

"Oh, I got the right person. I'm Valkjure by the way. A Streamer. Maybe you've heard of me?"

"A streaker? Well, have fun!"

"Streamer! Cough... It's streamer. I'm a streamer. Not a streaker..."

I kept humming along, eventually discovering a woman sitting right beside me.

"Huh?" I jerked up, just now realizing that she was talking to me.

"Hahaha... Hi...?"

Uuuhhhhh... I looked over the person who'd just snuck up on me, staring really hard. Contrary to what many other people were wearing, mine being a plain black robe, she had a dignified and luxurious armor on. The engravings were clean and elegant, done in gold in silver, all across the bright silver metal plate, and the blue shirt beneath. At the center of her equipment, by the chest area, there was an illustration painted in gold, silver, and bronze depicting 3 wings spiraling around each other endlessly.

Her pants, gloves, and greaves were of a similar design as her clothes and armor, almost as if of the same set. Even the sword on her back featured the same colors, being a large broadsword with a refined sheen, sporting a blue-colored handle, with golden decorations.

"H-hello," I remembered the name she gave me, as I looked over her name right above her HP bar, and then her face. It was well proportioned and doll-like, giving off a very familiar and nostalgic vibe. "Valkjure... Kawaii Valkjure... Wait, THAT Valkjure!?"

I couldn't help but shout in disbelief! That's a very famous streaker right there! She streaks every single day!

"Yep! The very one!" She did a peace sign with her hand.

Wow! It's really her! I didn't know she'd be playing this game! And even if she was, why's she even talking to me!?

I don't even watch her shit. It's just, she's so famous, and you normally don't expect those people to come at you, right? It's usually the opposite. I should be the one coming at her. What could she want from me?

"Um, well, hello there then," I smiled, might as well enjoy this situation.

"Yes, hello! You're so much more... you in person."

"That is how people work. But this is not really me in person. We're in a game..."

"Oh yeah. We are... Hahaha."

"Yep. I am even more me in person. This is but a taste!"

I am not random villager A! Hmph, hmph!

"Ooooohhh! Then maybe I can come over?"

"Oh... Ahahahaha..." Did that come off as an invitation? I mean it wouldn't be that big of a deal, I've never ever showed off my full tower to anyone. This could be a good opportunity. That said... "We just met, you know? How about we just talk first?"

"Oh... Ah, yeah! I mean, yes, that totally makes sense. Guys, don't hate on her, she's right. I'll use the hammer banner, I swear! So be good, okay?"

"Hm??" I understood the first part, but the latter part... what the hell's she talking about? Are streakers really crazy? I had an inkling but I tried not to be prejudiced, you know?

"Oh, sorry sorry. Those are just my Valkjurlings. Ah! Valkjurlings are like my fans, they watch my streams. And they... thought you were being rude. But I told them off for it! I don't think that was fair, it was a perfectly reasonable response, you don't owe it to me to invite me over to your house."

"Oh..." Maybe I was being rude, but no, that was, just as Valkjure said, reasonable.

"Oh by the way!" She continued, "I'm streaming, you cool with that, right?"

"Oh streaming?" I looked over and saw her immaterial System Avatar holding an immaterial camera, "Sure, I guess."

"Oh sweet!"

"Yep. I gotta admit it's a bit embarrassing. But there are three things that I like. Thrusting, heads, and long things. Therefore, I'm going to thrust headlong into this new thing!"

"Oh... well, that's good for you then?"

"It is."

And like that, we kept on chatting away. If I'm near her, she can actually project a hologram for me to see what the chatters are saying.

It somehow turned into some impromptu interview, where both Valkjure and I answered some questions.

[How has your experience in the game been so far?]

[Do you like it? Is it any good? Recommend?]

"Eh, I haven't explored much of the game yet, but I've been enjoying myself so far."

"Oh yeah, me too!" Added Valkjure, "Having a unique skill is really fun, especially one that lets me connect to all my little Valkjurlings. I love you all, my babies. Mwah!"

[Aaaawwww!]

[So cute!]

[Kawaii!]

[Just like her name!]

Hmm, does she actually mean that? Seems a bit overplayed... and I'm a fucking hypocrite if I say that. She's like me, but just in the opposite direction, I guess. Sweet and fluffy instead of bitter and cool and amazing and wonderful and gorgeous and every other thing.

[Gun Empress, you look like a criminal. Are you in disguise?]

"Oh? Hahahahhaha! Yes! This isn't even my final form!!!" I laughed, "But well, really, it's the second day of the game. There's no rush. I don't have the money or drops for a good set yet. Rather, yours looks really good Valkjure. Did a monster drop that or something?"

"This? Oh no! A cute Valkling just gave me this piece earlier, and it's very nice! Much love to her! I love it! Thank you very much, arigatou!!"

"Oh? A custom equipment? On the second day...? Weird, must've been a skill... a unique skill related to crafting!? Valkjure, you gotta introduce me to her! What's her handle!?"

"Oh, ah! I think it was..." her eyes darted over to her system avatar that looked like a woman dressed in full valkyrie armor, "It's Hammertina! Her name's Hammertina! Can someone in chat contact her? The Gun Empress wants to meet her! Hahahahaha!"

"Hahahaha, yeah. But just tell her that I wanna talk to her later. And the handle's Gothra Tankernov. Who even came up with gun empress anyway?"

"I think it's very cool! Don't you, guys?"

Everyone in the chat agreed.

"Yeah, I think so too, " I added, "It just feels a bit weird because I was just playing the game like normal. Maybe the gun was a bit much, but they're not rare by any means, at least not in general."

"Ahahahaha... well there's no actual logic to what gets popular. I mean my dumb ass made it this far, right? Hahahahha!"

[Gun Empress Gothra Tankernov. Would you like to see Valkjure streaking?]

[Is this a new ship?]

[Gothkure]

[Valkura]

[Oh I like that one!]

"Ahhhhh!!! Stop! Stop, STOP!"

Valkjure panicked and removed her stream chat from my view. She swung her arms around wildly, arguing with her community.

"Banned! 1-week ban! All of you!"

Steam seemed to be coming out of her head. Hehe. It's funny how flustered that got her.

"U-uuummmm..." She turned to me. I just smiled in response.

That just caused her to stutter even further. Bahahahaha!

"I-I'm sorry about that, Gothra..."

"Gahahahahahahaha! That? Oh, don't worry about it! Your reaction was so precious, it's funny!"

"O-oh. It is... Yeah, it is funny, I guess..."

"Hahaha! It was a joke, Valkjure. I'm sure your 'Valkjurlings' didn't mean anything bad by it. Besides, you only did ban them for one week..." I raised an eyebrow, Valkjure averted her gaze.

"Ah! Forever! Permaban! All of them! Mods!!!"

"Whoa, whoa! I'm kidding, I'm kidding! They'd hate me! Hahahaha!"

Fans can be scary. No thanks. I mean I can just shut them out, and have The System filter out any messages or posts like I did for the resistance, but still... I'd likely run into them in the game regardless, and that'd be a pain. They might hunt me down over and over. Yet another pain.

Spare me the bullshit.

"Okay..." She seemed somewhat dejected as she fiddled around with her stream.

[We thank you, oh Gun Empress for this favor you've given us!]

[We shall meet your expectations!]

[Who should I kill!?]

What expectations...?

"Okay!" Well, whatever it is, I'm sure they'll meet them!

"Yeah. But guys, stop shipping me with real actual people. Sheesh. It's... It's weird."

"Ahahahaha..." I laughed as Valkjure admonished her fanbase.

[Step on me!]

[Spit!]

I thought I saw some posts like that, but it must be my imagination since they promptly disappeared.