Gothra POV
Facts and logic, lies and deceit! With it, I achieved all three: Judge, Jury, and Executioner!
I didn't hate you Fira, or Bobby. You were great, fun to be around with, nice friend. But that's just reality for you. Even those who've naught a reason to fight simply must. Be it for circumstance, destiny, or mere coincidence.
And now he lays face down on the ground motionless.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
No reaction.
"GAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"
He was already dead.
Such a shame, to see such young talent go to waste. Had he simply laid low instead of attempting to challenge the unbeatable, he'd still have a bright future ahead of him.
But alas! That is all in the past now. Left behind behind by the uncessant river of time.
"Anyway, since he's dead, let's look at his browser history!" I laughed, commanding Bereo to hack into his home through the hologram.
"WAIT NO! DON'T! DO NOT YOU DARE!!!"
"Bwahahahahahaha! He's alive! HE'S AALLLLIIIVVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!"
"Yes, yes! I am very much alive! So do not fucking look through that asshole!
"Pfft! What, you afraid to show your scaley collection?" I laughed at his struggle.
"I have none of such things!"
"Hahahahaha! He's basically an undead now. The Bobby we once knew is gone. So don't feel bad Bereo, and just hack ALL of his shit!"
"Nooooooooo! You can't!! Ciraphim! Help meeeee!!!"
Ciraphim stepped forward and looked at our hologram projections. "I'm afraid I cannot allow Bobby's precious secrets to be hacked or revealed."
"Oho? So he has secrets, eh?"
"Don't fixate on that Gothra! Everyone has one!"
Bereo also took this opportunity to say something.
Yeah, you go tell him Bereo!
"I'm afraid I also cannot bypass the rules of The System. Sorry, Martyra."
...
"Bereo... I thought you were on my side! Uwaaahhhh!!!"
"I am, Martyra. But... infringing on another human's privacy is against protocol."
"Ooohhh! See Martyra? Even Bereo thinks you are evil! An evil fishy anchovy!"
"...A fish? Well, what about you, Walkerman? Are you gonna get a bunch of men to line up so you can walk all over them?"
"I won't! I'm just a man that walks. Pretty simple."
I told Bereo to lay down on the floor. And he did. "There. Is this turning you on yet, Bobby? You just gotta use your feet now. Gahahahahhaa!"
"Argh, no! Don't ignore what I just said! You fucking fish!"
Okay, I just realized something.
The world is indeed so very small, every little strand of fate tied together.
"Bobby..." I went quiet and stared right at him. Right into his filthy soul.
"Y-you started it!"
"I see..."
"Yeah!"
"Fish have scales. That's why you're so obsessed over them. I was only thinking of reptiles and shit. There's still so much I have yet to learn."
"Yeah! Exactly!" He smiled triumphantly, but that triumph, like all victories, only lasted for a short while before the next battle comes. "Wait, no! That's not it!"
Pfft!
"Hmm? Why so heated, Bobby? What's wrong with fish having scales? Isn't that normal?"
"I... Well, fish do have scales... but that's not what I meant! That's not what you meant!"
"Oh, I see. So you only want reptiles. Not fish. Got it."
"Ye- No! I won't fall for the same trick twice assfuck!"
"Ahahahahhahaha!!"
"Sigh... So anyway. I was just going to sleep earlier when you called. What do you want?" Bobby claimed. He alleged.
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
"Sleep...? Pretty sure that's not what you were doing. I thought I won that battle? Why are you still denying it!?"
"Uuggh... Fine. Yeah, obviously you got it right. It was obvious to begin with... I haven't had people calling me for a long time, and I know it's stupid, but I went and answered your call without thinking about what I was doing."
So that's why he bothered trying to make excuses for it.
"I thought that was just what you're into. Being an exibitionist."
"What!? No!"
"Ahahahahaha. Okay, okay. No need to get so defensive. Might me think I was actually right!"
"Ugh, you're not. That's really not it."
"Hahaha! But then why were you so desperate to like explain or make excuses for it anyway?"
What popped up after my first call to him was like getting porn shoved into my face, so I was about to do some things myself, hehe.
But then he called me back immediately. That blue balling prick! I shall have his head splattered on my wall!
Kidding. Also, I guess I blue balled him first. But... it's different. Mine's an honest accident. He's is a malicious mistake. Such is my decree. Hahahahahaha!
Of course, I'm not telling any of this to him because then he wins.
Anyway, we were talking about why Bobby was so desperate to defend himself. It's not like he did anything bad, but it was funny acting as a judge. It is so very fitting of myself, no? Someone who decides the fate of others. Salvation or damnation by my whim.
"Well... hmmm... I... I don't know, actually. It seems. Ahahahahahahahahahaa!"
This guy... is really an idiot!
Well, in a good way. Yes, in a good way!
But still...
"Sigh. Seriously? I feel like I just fought through a hundred floors of death by the whims of a malevolent being, clearing it with ease of course. But then when I meet the creator at the fucking top and ask them 'Why? Why the fuck did I have to go through all that fucking trouble? Me aside, so many other people died by your machinations. What purpose was there ever to this fucking death trap? Why did you do any of this?' the only answer I get is: 'I forgot. Sorry bout that.' And then they proceed to laugh cheerily, leaving me without a clear answer for all eternity."
"Wow... that's actually really creative. Good job Gothra."
Eh? Why's that your response!?
"Praising me won't get your ass off the hook!"
"Oh? Oh? Spoken like a true tsundere! Gahahahahahaha!
"A trsundere!? That is you and no one else!"
"The more you rage, the more you tsun-tsun!"
"Argh! No! Cough. I mean no, not at all Bobby. A lady of the lowest depths of the underworld like me would never so blatantly and so easily lose her cool. Tis but a misunderstanding on your part."
"Hahahaha! Well, I am sorry for that your darkness. I did not know I was in the present of such royalty."
"Mmm, forgiven. Good on you for realizing your mistake, peon. I was just about to order the guards to off with your head."
"Oh my. That would not have been good at all. I like my head, and I am currently still using it for the project of living."
"Yes. Do make sure to never forget this mercy. Ohohohohohoho~!" I laughed like one of those 'evil' villainesses hahahahaha!
"Gehehehehehehehe!" And Bobby followed through with the laugh of a conniving rogue.
We really make a great team.
"That aside, Martyra."
"Hmm?"
"Why did you call me in the first place?"
"Huh? You're the one who called, no?"
"No, no. I mean like the first time."
"Oh that. Well... uhhh... hmmm... No reason, really? You were just in my contacts, so I kinda just did want to talk or chat or something? I think? Something like that."
"What!? You're no better than me then!"
"No, no! It was just a whim! A whim, that's it! I am a chaotic being, wrecking havoc as I please. I merely follow my whims and that's what I felt like doing!"
"Oh sure, justify it some more! Rather, did you miss me so much, eh, Gothra?"
"Huh!? Listen to yourself! You're really taking the route of a pickup artist now!"
"Hahahahahaha! No, no. I think telling me that you called me 'just because' is far worse! You're just lookin for an excuse to talk to me, huh? I am not the pick-up artist at all, you are!"
"What!?"
"It is all coming together now! You are the one who wanted a piece of this! And I am a dragonoid so... that makes you the scaley!"
Hang on a second! These are my jokes! He's just stealing them!?
"Okay now you're the one with the fucking ego!" I roared.
"And you're the scaley pick-up artist!"
"No! I am not... I am definitely not a pick up artist!"
"Huh? What's with that pause!? Gahahahaha that's an open admission!"
Tsk... sometimes you can't win everything. I wasn't hiding it, but revealing it makes it harder to tease him about it!
Sigh. Some things must be cut off to keep the ship afloat.
"I am not admitting to being a fucking loser pick-up artist you dork! But... the other one. Sigh. Yes, a bit."
"A scaley? But wait, you were giving so much shit for it!"
Hah, I knew it!
"Hahahahahaha! So you admit that you are scaley!"
"No! I just mean that you are a hypocrite!"
"And why is that? You just never asked, I was never hiding it."
"Well yeah... but you still teased me about it!"
"I just thought it was funny. You getting so in denial about it was even funnier."
"Eh? Well, I guess it is... But also Gothra, all jokes aside, can we talk about something serious for once."
"Oh? Changing the subject huh?"
"No! Well, I am. But seriously. Please?"
"Gah! Okay, okay. No need to get so sad about it. What is it?"
"Well, I mean, it is a funny joke, but are we misunderstanding something here?"
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"Well, do you actually think I'm a scaley? Serious answer please. Not that I really mind you thinking that, but to clear things up you know?
"Oh... Uhh, yeah, I do think that? Aren't you?"
"No!"
"Eh?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Uh-huh."
"Then what's with that look?" He also looks like a dragonoid in real life. The game gives an approximation of your real life appearance after all. Though I heard that those with extra limbs receive some nerfs to keep things fair.
"I said I just find it cool!"
"Oh..."
"Yep..."
"Okay, but if it was a hot lady with those features?" I asked
"Uhhh... well, yeah, but I don't think it counts? I mean it's not full lizardman or anything?"
"Nope it does."
"Eeehhhh!??"
"Ahahahaha. Kidding, kidding. Sorry. But, I don't know, is calling you a scaley too far?"
"Hmm? No, of course not. It's fun. Just hanging out like this is fun. Joking around is fun. I'm fine without it, but I suppose I missed this... I only brought this up cos I thought that you actually did think I was a scaley, that it wasn't just a joke. So don't go stepping on egshells or whayever bullshit on my account."
"Oh, alright. I did honestly think that."
"Projecting much? As it turns out, you were the scaley all along!"
"Hahaha! I guess I am. But I mean... you know Bereo's attire, right? He does reflect my own interests. Having that look really kinda makes people think that those are your interests."
"Or maybe... Everyone, you specially, needs a good bonking! You horny demon! Hahahahahahahaha!"
"Hey! Hahahahha! But I guess you're right about dragonoids maybe not counting. I mean if that was the threshold then everyone's a furry. Who doesn't like neko ears?"
"Hmm. Definitely. Agreed 100%."
And with that we ended our council of neko ears.
No matter the differences, no matter the conflict, there will always be one thing we have in common, and that is: Neko ears.
(For those who don't have good taste. Neko just means cat. Neko ears, or nekomimi if you wanna go full weeb, typically refer to catlike ears on otherwise very humanoid people. They are very cute and fluffy. These pop up explanations are devoid of opinion, just facts.)