Pathum’s POV

I’m so relieved, my mom’s going to come home! Isn't that what I dreamt of since she left?

But she still suffered because you refused to go to the neighbours’ house to deliver her food so don’t forget it’s still your fault that she got sick.

I am not denying my existence, you bloody voice, so shut up.

Pathum: He said my mom will come home soon.

Scarlet: Oh, good, we told you she will be fine. Now you can relax, you stressed too much because of this incident. Just breathe and pray for a healthy mind.

Pathum: Yes but there’s a problem.

Scarlet: What’s that?

Pathum: The officer said if she got sick she might have to stay longer at the hospital.

Scarlet: Pathum, she’s fine. Don't worry about it any longer. You’re letting your mind control you.

Pathum: I know, but I’m scared. What if something happens to mom? You know anything could happen right? I know it’s just my thinking but what if..

Scarlet: Don't let the mind win. It's just trying to sabotage you. Trust in God you’ll have peace and most importantly there’s no what if situations. Please trust your bestie and forget about it, your mom is healthy and safe and that’s all that matters.

Pathum: Yes, let's be happy for now.

Scarlet: Exactly. Good boy.

Pathum: Thank you for being with me during this difficult time and for supporting me. It means more than you can understand. I’m sorry for my stupid behavior, for repeating things, and acting so childish, please understand that I have no control over myself when I panic. I go crazy and I cannot fight those demons alone.

Scarlet: Of course. I will always be here for you, so don't ever doubt it.

Pathum: I won't ever doubt it. Thank you.

Scarlet: You’re welcome, hunny.

Pathum: I almost went crazy but thanks to you, I survived.

Scarlet: As long as I’m here, I’ll never allow that to happen. Remember that sweetie.

Pathum: Great. But why do you care about me? You can forget about me, go out there, and find someone better than me.

Scarlet: But I didn’t choose, my heart did. God placed you in my life because He knew something that I didn’t. He has plans for you and me. He knows the importance of your life to me. I won’t ever forget someone like you. I’ve never had someone like you in my life and I won't ever meet someone like you again so it doesn’t matter what you go through. I’ll always be there for you. To help you, aid you, lift you, and to empower you. I’ll always be there for you. Remember that sweetie. Don’t ever forget that.

Pathum: Aww *crying*

Scarlet: You’re adorable. Why say that in the middle of something serious because you often degrade your inner and outer beauty. I’m not going to sit here and let you hurt yourself. Remember wherever you go, I’ll be there for you and just when you need someone to lift you, I will be grateful to lend you a hand and uplift you into greater glory. Step by step we’ll build the empire of our bond.

Remember sweetie when you became my bestie, there was no other greater feeling than that, I felt so secure in your presence. I wouldn't want to wake up to not be in that presence. I will always do everything in my power to make your dreams become reality.

I know you have a dream to become a doctor but also don’t forget that you have a talent in writing. However, you allow your fear of failure and criticism to rule you. But I know you’re going to be a great writer one day because whenever I’m reading your book, I feel some other great force within those pages. I wouldn’t want to miss how it would feel to have a book written by you, it’ll be an excellence beyond any forgery. Take these words into your heart and pin them in your deepest layer because this poetry comes from the bottom of my heart.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Pathum: Thank you so much for your kind words. Are you sure that you want to stay with me nevertheless of my issues? I can’t even handle a simple thought. I freaked out and almost took my life blaming myself. But still you choose to be with me? I just can’t believe it. I wouldn’t want to believe it. I’m weak and still you think you deserve me? I don’t understand it. It's just confusing as to why you would stick to a weak human like me, but one thing is certain and that’s my bestie’s heart. Her heart is beyond any value a man could state, I’m so in love with her heart.

Scarlet: Many things we don’t understand have already been sorted out by God himself. He knows wherever his place is. He has witnessed the future where Pathum and Scarlet live together as two great soulmates. He knows things we don’t. Trust in the Lord. He wil guide you and you won't be disappointed.

Pathum: Thank you and thank God!

Scarlet: Only thank God, I deserve no praise.

Pathum: I have to be rude now. Wherever I go I will always thank my bestie. She’s above everyone remember that. Don’t be offended. I wish I could have faith in the Lord as much as you do.. Even though I lack faith in Him, I still have a tremendous faith in my bestie. And I’m not going anywhere without appreciating her for her well being. She did everything for me and I’m going to appreciate her before I appreciate the Lord. Please don’t get me wrong, I thank God for placing you in my life but I also appreciate the fact Scarlet is Scarlet. Here’s the thing about it, I love Scarlet and I will protect her no matter what the circumstance and situation. I AM sorry. Again please don’t be offended by what I say.

I love you more than I love God but that doesn’t mean I hate Him. I’m just pleased to be in the presence of God but He is nothing more than God for me. To me the highest importance goes to my parents, grandma, and you. And after them, God is there. Please once again don’t misunderstand me, I’m not trying to say it’s useless to put God as the main priority, I just mean that you’re more special to me than God is. You have the first place in my heart and God is second place. I hope God forgives me for that and truly knows my intentions.

Scarlet: I get you, and I’m not offended. I appreciate your honesty and loyalty. I feel an immense presence in you, I’m not lying but you are quite some human being. I see many great qualities in you.

Pathum: I feel so relieved to know that, and knowing that my mom is somewhere safe.

Scarlet: I was scared that I was going to lose you.

Pathum: But you didn't.

Scarlet: Thanks to God, you have no idea how much I prayed for you.

Pathum: I’m so grateful to have you in my life.

We talked for another hour, mostly about my mental health and that I need to be stronger for my mom. I also talked about how weak I have been and that I would not let the future be worse due to my lifeless effort and fragile mind.

Once she was gone to church I arranged my books on my desk to study but I just couldn’t get my mind in the right place. Memories of my mom flashed in my mind every time I was about to study. I couldn’t stop the train of thoughts they kept coming to me.

I grabbed my book and went outside hoping that some fresh air and sunlight would do some difference but unfortunately it didn’t do anything.

Finally after several minutes of trying to calm my thoughts and focus on my studies, I gave up. I got onto my bed and closed my eyes. My mind constantly threw daggers at me but I covered myself. They found their way into my heart and pierced to the deepest layers. They never bothered how deep they went their ultimate mission being hurting me.

“I hope she’s safe out there,” my grandma said, walking into my room.

She had made tea for the evening. Even though I couldn’t taste the tea, I still accepted it because I didn’t want to be rude. I already did the damage to my mom, I don’t want to put my grandma in trouble, too.

The tea was supposed to be hot but since grandma is old and always in a hurry, she doesn’t boil water. She heats the water halfway before turning off the stove. She has her reasons, which are to save gas and time. Nevertheless it’s drinkable.

“You know if she never stops by to have conversations with her then she would be fine, oh this stubborn child,” Grandma said, scratching her nose.

It wasn’t her fault.

Please God don't wake my mind.

I let go of a sigh, which is the only thing I know to do.

“She will come home soon,” I said, even though I lack trust in my words, I wanted to sound convincing.

“I worshipped the gods, and they will protect her. Your mother is definitely out of harm’s way, so stop thinking about her and focus on your studies,” she said touching my head.

It was one of Grandma’s usual gesture of blessing. I smiled at her and she turned to leave the room. Once my grandma was gone, I felt mom’s overwhelming absence and it scared me. With Scarlet gone to church and mom at the hospital my life wasn’t looking good.

The next few days were spent doing nothing but waiting for my mom, and that's when we got a call from the neighbour. Which broke hell loose and my mind went into panic mode.

With shivering hands I managed to open Scarlet’s chat.

Scarlet: Sweetie calm down.

Pathum: For God’s sake, I can’t calm down, it’s my fault. I won't live a single second if something happens to her.

Scarlet: Pathum, freaking out would not help us so stop and tell me what the officer said this time.

Pathum: I told you I felt something bad was about to happen. Please pray that my mom would be fine, pray this bad news is fake. I can't do this. Please inform your mom and Abigail and tell them to pray as well, please…

Scarlet: We’ll pray, but tell me what did he say to you?

Please God why is this happening to me?