Pathum POV
I FREAKING HATE MYSELF. Ugh. I should’ve talked to her better than that. Oh, I’m sure she’ll never call me again. I don’t know what she was thinking but surely she might just tell me that I’m cute like she usually does.
But that’s a total lie because how in the world can I be cute when I stutter and constantly hide my face from her? There are so many things I wish I had done instead but now it’s too late to go back and change it.
Meanwhile, my mom left the room once I focused the camera on her. She looked like she was holding back tears.
What the heck was I thinking? I scratched my head, confused, and started to shiver.
Why did I fail to show her that I can speak? I never act the way I wanted to act.
Well, pardon me, but it wasn’t an act; it was how I was in real life. I don’t understand why my behaviour was so bad. Why am I constantly blaming myself for things?
I’m still shivering from nervousness even though it has been a few minutes since I hung up the phone with her. I wonder what she could possibly be thinking now. Is she upset and thinking that I intentionally left her?
I never wanted to do such a thing. It was just that I ended the call because I couldn’t get the strength to talk. I couldn’t face her like a real man. I should be ashamed of myself for not being able to handle this. Why on Earth did I do that? I have thousands of questions but none I couldn’t find any answers to.
So, with now-shaking fingers, I managed to type out an apology to her for my behaviour. That was the only thing I could do at this point. Even though I was ashamed of myself she wasn‘t ashamed of me. I don’t know how she could tolerate me, but somehow she manages. I wonder why. Is she crazy? I don't think she is but is she obsessed because why can’t she see I’m a mess?
She must’ve been able to recognise my flaws easily yet perceive me as a healthy lad.
So, I took a voice call and gathered all the strength in me to speak to her. She answered after it rang a few times.
“Hello? Pathum?” I heard her voice.
I failed to answer her immediately except closing my eyes and facepalming. The first few seconds were spent murmuring and trying to sound normal, but after several failed attempts, I was finally able to speak normally.
“Hey Scarlet, I’m so sorry for ending the call like that. I was scared. But it was my first time talking to a girl. I mean video chatting. And it didn’t turn out well.”
She stopped the rapid flow of apologies from my lips with a stern but pleasant tone.
“Stop saying sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was cute and I enjoyed it.” Her voice echoed in my ear.
“Are you for real?” I asked, taking a deep breath.
She chuckled sweetly.
“I am sweetie. It was a fantastic experience.”
I’m blushing profusely, my head bowed in embarrassment.
“But I sounded embarrassing,” I said, trying my best not to sound like a loser.
She began scolding me.
“Stop that would you? You were so cute, I couldn’t be happier. So stop saying bad stuff about yourself.”
“But–” I opened my mouth to protest but was cut off by Scarlet.
“Listen to me. I loved everything about that video call, to be honest I still can't believe it ended. I was so sad but I still remember your cute behaviour. You’re shy, but that doesn’t mean you’re embarrassing. You’re perfect just the way you are. Do you understand?” She raised her voice.
Her accent is something I haven't heard before. But I love it, she speaks freely unlike me. I want to eat her accent because she sounds so cool, but I guess that’s how country people talk. She’s the first country girl, well, person I ever talked to, so yeah.
“Thank you so much for your kind words,” I thanked her.
“You’re welcome, Pathum.” I could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke.
I got goosebumps on my arms when she pronounced my name. Wow, that’s so cute. This girl must be an angel descended from heaven. I acted in the most embarrassing way and yet she declared I looked and sounded good.
We all can offer kindness with words but rarely assurance. However, this girl has the ability to say sweet words and act upon them so that everyone would feel the exact same way.
“Umm Scarlet. I - I… I am…” my stuttering started up again.
She gave me a sweet smile of reassurance.
“Yes, sweetie?”
I couldn’t meet her eyes as I began to speak. Even though she told me to stop apologising, I couldn’t. I was too embarrassed about not being able to speak to her when I saw her face through the webcam a few minutes ago.
“I’m sorry….”
Confusion permeated her tone when she spoke next.
“About what?”
“For hanging up the call earlier. I shouldn’t have done that but I had no choice. My mom was upset. Would you forgive me? It wasn’t really because of mom, it was because I couldn’t face you. I‘m sorry it was awkward and I promise I’ll do better next time. Okay?”
“Okay, I believe you,” Scarlet replied calmly.
“Bye, Scarlet.”
“Bye sweetie.”
That was so sweet, she called me sweetie and there’s no other voice that could sound better than hers. I was still shivering even when the call ended, my voice must’ve sounded terrible but still my bestie made me feel safe. I guess that’s why we need besties in our lives.
Well to be honest, I’ve never had a bestie before. Well, I did have a boy who was my best friend but this is the first time I had a bestie. It sounds feminine but it’s true. And I have zero regrets. Of course I have no regrets meeting this beautiful angel. I meant beautiful from the inside, not her appearance. Yes her appearance is pleasing but I became her friend and eventually her bestie not based on physical appearances but by getting to know each other.
Scarlet: We’ve got some talking to do sweetie.
Pathum: I know we do, sweetie.
Scarlet: First off, are you okay? Have you seen a ghost or did I scare you?
Pathum: Well, you are white so you look like a ghost. So yes I was scared of you, Scarlet.
Scarlet: Haha, very funny. Now tell me, are you okay?
Pathum: I’m still shivering.
Scarlet: OMG, why is that?
Pathum: OMG sweetie aren’t you shaking or scared?
Scarlet: No, I’m not scared but my heart is beating faster than normal and I’m sweating excessively. Does that tell you something?
Pathum: Yes, it clearly tells me that you were scared too. I'm glad you were. But to be honest I wasn't scared. It’s just that I get this extreme shyness all of a sudden where I want to hide from the world. I don't like that but guess what? I can't do anything about it.
Scarlet: Oh, okay. I understand sweetie.
Pathum: Thank you. Have you taken any video calls with your friends before? This is my first time doing it with any friend.
Scarlet: Yes, I have. But this is the first time I’ve had a video chat with a guy.
Pathum: And this is my first time with a friend and a girl. So we broke many records today. Congratulations to us!!
Scarlet: Hurray!! Hehe
Pathum: You’re so cute.
Scarlet: Thanks. So are you.
Pathum: I'm not anything but ugly.
Scarlet: OMG, would you stop that? You aren’t ugly. I don't know who inserted those thoughts into your head but you better remove them. You’re a handsome man. So, don’t ever make me repeat my words, do you understand?
Pathum: Yes, sir! *salute*
Scarlet: Good boy.
Pathum: Good girl.
Scarlet: Now tell me how does a Sri Lankan act so cute and sound so cute?
Pathum: I have the same question for you. And also your accent…. I could eat it. Like for real. Your voice sounds amazing.
Scarlet: Boy, don't you get me stirred up. Your accent was just jaw dropping.
Pathum: That’s a freaking lie. I'm sorry sweetie but I can't believe it.
Scarlet : Why can't you believe that? Don't you trust me?
Pathum: It's not that. It's just I didn't even say ten words to you. How did you jump to such conclusions?
Scarlet: You might not have spoken ten words to me with your awesome accent but you did speak and I’m not deaf. I heard you and so did my mom. She was over the moon. There’s a difference. No one has ever made such an impact in our lives like you have. Yes it might seem overrated but it's the truth. Believe it or not your accent is just awesome to listen to. I want to hear you talk more.
Pathum: Please stop mocking me.
Scarlet: Were you abused in your childhood? Please be honest. I value your honesty.
Pathum: Of course NOT. Why would you think that?
Scarlet: Because you disregard and blame yourself, and it’s degrading. And well, it might not be toxic to people around you but it’s bad for yourself. So please start loving yourself, and give yourself some room to be a better human.
Pathum: Awwww…. My bestie’s a gentle person. I'm glad to have met you sweetie.
Scarlet: I mean it. You need to love thy self.
Pathum: I didn't. Just like I don't appreciate myself, you seem to ignore me when I give credit to you. So don't do that as well. You deserve more credit than you ever receive. When someone appreciates you, make sure you receive them wholeheartedly. You’re an amazing person and I'm glad to have met you.
Scarlet: Aww.
Pathum: Hehehehehehehehe
Scarlet: Stop.
Pathum: Ehehehehehehehehehehehe
Scarlet: OMG NO!
Pathum: OMG what?
Scarlet: My mom told me to calm down and that my voice’s too loud.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
Pathum: What's with your voice?
Scarlet: I cracked up laughing too loudly.
Pathum: OMG, haha!
Scarlet: Stop laughing, brat.
Pathum: OK. Now, what are we going to talk about today?
Scarlet: Anything and everything.
Pathum: Hey! That's my catchphrase.
Scarlet: Well you’re my bestie so..
Pathum: Oops!
Scarlet: Exactly!
Pathum: Exactly. You’re correct. Since I’m your bestie you own everything. Well not everything but almost everything.
I then exited the app because I got a notification from WhatsApp stating that someone has added me to a WhatsApp group.
Of course I cannot recall a person’s number by memory other than my mom’s. So it was pointless to even think about who this person was. It could be anyone. So I went into the group I’d been added into and saw was named “Biology 2021”.
Then I understood. It’s something to do with the class, so I looked at the members and luckily I found many of my classmates. There were 20 members, and the group was created recently. It doesn’t have any messages so far except the date that it was created which means this group hasn’t started any activities.
So it seems our Biology teacher has created a group. Well, it wasn’t her but it was under her supervision.
A few minutes passed and the new members started to send messages. I read through them but didn’t respond to them because none of them concerned me. However, everyone was confused who made the group and for what purpose.
But while they talked about things, I sat there and watched them. I didn't have any intention to reply to them. Then our Biology teacher stated there will be an online class tomorrow morning.
I sighed in annoyance.
I didn't want to go to an online class. I wanted to spend the lockdown without any studies but it seems I'm out of luck. Then the members of the group started to talk about what time the class begins. Most were saying 8 am but the teacher decided to hold it at 6.
They’re holding the class at 6 am? I fumed. I don't remember the last time I woke up at six.
For the past month I had slept for six to ten hours while the rest of my time was spent on Wattpad or with my bestie. But now it seems like I can't spend any time with her. Oh, I don’t want to leave her alone for more than necessary.
But now in addition to the sleeping time, I‘ll have an online class. So she’ll miss me more. Oh, I cannot leave her like that. I’m not going to leave her for that long. She needs me and I need her. Why? Because I’m her bestie and she's mine.
I’m determined not to attend this online class. But then I start wondering what it's like. It’ll probably be a video call with many familiar faces. Oh, for deity’s sake it means I’ll have to show my face to the whole class. God forbid, I won't attend this online class. We have two more weeks until this lockdown ends and school starts up.
So why would we need to do this online class? I don't know, Pathum, don't ask me. I’m not the judge or the jury. I’m the victim, just let the lawyer handle the case Pathum. Okay if you say so.
Honestly I can't attend this class. Why should I? Can't I stay home? Well of course I’ll be in my house but during those hours I’ll be in an online class. Why in the world can't I be alone with Scarlet? I don't want to be with my classmates.
My only friend is Scarlet, and no one will get close to her level. Even though we’re thousands of miles apart, I love her more than any other friends of mine. Though I say my classmates as my friends, truth be told they aren’t really.
I’m comfortable with only having a small circle of friends. I dislike being with people even though once upon a time I wanted to have more friends. But things change.
The thought that I have to get up early the next morning pained me, but guess what? I had no choice but I’m not going to attend. I just want to spend time alone with my bestie.
However, I was snapped out of my thoughts when one of my classmates texted me.
Nipun: Hey man, are you going to attend this online class?
Pathum: NO.
Nipun: Why not? Are you crazy?
Pathum: Hell no, I just don’t want to.
Nipun: Fuck man. The teacher insisted for us to attend. Don’t be crazy just fucking attend.
Pathum: UGH! Why can’t we do nothing at home?
Nipun: Ask the teacher.
Pathum: TEACHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Nipun: Oh, stop being dramatic and just be there all right? The teacher said to log in at six.
Pathum: Let’s see, we still have one free night.
I then got a text from Kamal, my former bestie, to whom I promised I wouldn’t do any jokes for, because those memories haunt me to this day.
Kamal: Hey man, what’s this online class thing?
Pathum: God knows what.
Kamal: Are you going to be present?
Pathum: No.
Kamal: Why not?
Pathum: Because I don’t want to.
Kamal: Fuck you man!
Pathum: Hmm
Even though I hated that word, I typed it because I hated to carry out the conversation. He didn’t cease to remind me that I have to attend the class anyway but the thing is, I just don’t want to. So I replied with more “hmms” and he eventually stopped texting.
I smiled to myself triumphantly. Mission accomplished.
I then logged into Hangouts and texted Scarlet before taking screenshots of the group chat and their conversation. Since they were talking in English, I had no problem with translating for Scarlet. I showed her almost every single conversation including the part where the teacher spoke.
Also I made sure I blocked out their numbers so that Scarlet wouldn’t see them. It was not because of anything other than the fact that I disliked the fact that Scarlet would get to know their number if I didn’t.
And maybe it’s because I wanted to protect their privacy. Maybe but what’s private after they already made themselves public when they text in the group? I don’t know what’s wrong with me but something told me not to share their numbers with Scarlet.
Scarlet: Sweetie, so what’cha going to do?
Pathum: I don’t know sweetie. They’re all so excited for the online class, but I’d hate to be there. I dislike being around many people. And when we turn on our cameras, I’m concerned I’ll look horrible as well. And at six in the morning? My butt is dead asleep by that time and even if I did wake up earlier how could I not text you? It’s impossible.
Scarlet: I understand that sweetie but it’s for your exams. Maybe think about it that way.
Pathum: Ugh I hate the thought of getting up at six.
Scarlet: Uhhh…. Didn’t you used to get up way earlier to go to school?
Pathum: That’s why I hate school.
Scarlet: Just try it sweetie, it won’t be that bad.
Pathum: There will be around twenty people in the class, all in a single video call and how? I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never been on a group call with my classmates. You were the first person I’ve video chatted with and I hope to keep it that way. But destiny has different things stored for us. We just have to be patient and act accordingly.
Scarlet: You’re a wise young man.
Pathum: Man? Not yet not yet hehe
Scarlet: OK.. SOON YOU’LL BE A MAN, SWEETIE.
Pathum: I know, I just don’t want tomorrow to arrive. I just wish the class would be cancelled so that I could talk with you.
Scarlet; Awwww…. you’re adorable. But as you said earlier, if you don’t learn, then your dream of going abroad to go to university won’t come true.
Pathum: Aww I know sweetie.
Scarlet: Good. Now take a deep breath and you’ll have the courage to face tomorrow
I did as she said and took a deep breath but I couldn’t gather courage because there was none left in me.
Then, after dinner, I brushed my teeth, washed myself, and fell into bed. Thinking of ways I can escape this upcoming session. I ignored the excitement of the other students. It scared me but for them it brings joy.
During the course of the night, I kept talking to Scarlet about my resistance to participate and she tried her best to console me. Because even if the class was for a few hours, it’s still grief for me. Soon, it was almost midnight but I kept talking to her instead of sleeping.
This made my mom look over, and seeing the bright glare from my phone, tapped my leg.
“Hey. Stop talking to her and go to sleep, will you?”
“Fine. Whatever, mom,” I said, irritation in my voice.
I share a bedroom with my mom, and while that might sound odd, it’s true. But why is an eighteen-year-old boy sleeping in the same room with his mom? Well, not everyone has a huge house with multiple bedrooms. And we’re not living in our own house; we couldn't afford to have separate bedrooms as there are three families living in this house. It looks like one of those simple buildings that kids draw when they’re told to draw a house.
But don’t judge people. You might not have ever heard of an eighteen-year-old boy sharing a bedroom with his mom, but those things exist. And I have no shame in it, I’m proud to still have my mother, and I’ll protect her from anything.
Oh, well, maybe my story is sad. But does it matter?
So, I said goodbye to my bestie only to fall asleep and meet her in my dreams but soon I woke up to my mother tapping my shoulder. She was telling me to shut off the alarm. It was then that I realised that I’m late for the class so I got up and went to wash my face.
I made sure I use my mom’s face wash. I don’t know if it’ll make me look any better but I can try. Since I have to show my face, I made sure I looked cute.
Well, deep down I know I’m cute but I don’t bother to be egotistical about it. That doesn’t mean I’m above or below anyone; I’m just me.
It was 6:05 am, so that meant I was five minutes late and when I got onto WhatsApp, I saw that the teacher had delivered a message to the group. It was a link to a certain app.
Confused with the situation, I asked Nipun for advice. He then told me to download this app named “Zoom” and I did so and afterward I made an account.
I was still nervous because I was fifteen minutes late and I still hadn’t joined the conversation. So I followed the instructions and then suddenly I appeared in a collection of names. There were other members of the group. Some of them had turned on their cameras and I could see them while some others had muted their microphones and turned off their cameras. All that is displayed in front of their name is their first initial.
Even though I declared it was late, I actually wasn’t. There were a few other members who hadn’t joined the class and the teacher was waiting for them. But while we were waiting, she was talking about this new experience and giving us advice about future plans. And also according to her, this lockdown will soon come to an end and we could get back to our physical classes. She says she hopes to do this online class for only this month.
However, I don’t know about everything she said but the fact that I could stay at home and do my class for now pleases me. I have no need to dress properly and travel in public transport to be at the class. All I need to do is wake up, wash myself, and sit on a chair while making sure that I don’t click on the camera or microphone icons.
I sat there throughout the class, which lasted until about 8 am. It seemed that she had planned everything out for everyone, including the nighttime users. So things went well and I enjoyed the class but I was never focused on what the teacher said. I was either living in the past or in the future. I had to put a stop to it or else my studies wouldn’t achieve the maximum it ought to achieve.
But finally once the class finished, I walked outside to see the sun. It welcomed me with its bright, warm rays, and taking a deep breath, I looked around me. Everything looks green and yellow, and it’s so beautiful.
However, even though the class ended I wasn’t done with writing because I used a pencil to write down the notes. Now I have to copy down the pencil written words into beautiful pen written words. Since it was day one of my online class, I needed the notes to make a new book.
By the time I finished writing, Scarlet had fallen asleep. So, after breakfast mom and I started a conversation.
“Hey, Pathum, how was your online class?” she asked.
“It was fine, mom. I just finished writing down my notes,” I replied with a smile and showed the notes to her.
She looked over the notes in admiration and with every page her smile grew wider. She delicately touched every letter as her eyes sparkled while looking at me lovingly.
“Wow! Your handwriting is amazing!”
I looked at her, annoyance written across my dark features. I didn’t believe what she said in the slightest. She was lying.
“Lies!”
She shook her head at me, frowning slightly.
“I’m not lying. These are some beautifully written notes.”
“thank you mom !”
“of course Hunny!”
After finishing the conversation, the rest of the day was normal, and after my bath, it was time to wait for Scarlet to wake up and message me. While I waited, I focused on studying my Biology notes. To be honest, while looking at my writing, I have to admire it. I was just trying to get more credit for myself when I denied they weren’t good.
We were currently studying epithelial cells and it was easy thanks to my organisational skills and the well planned out notes of the teacher. I was able to revise quite easily. When I got to a stopping point, it was five in the evening and Scarlet still hadn’t responded to my messages. She’s probably sleeping, which is totally fine. She needs her rest.
So, I kept studying even if I was anxiously waiting for her notifications and that’s when I heard the Google Hangouts notification. I grabbed my phone to open the app and saw it was her, but from a different email.
Does this mean she has changed her email? Oh, why does it matter? It’s still her so I opened the chat and read the message she had sent through her new email and that’s when I lost control of my hands. The phone fell down and an eerie shiver went down my spine at the sight of the message.
Because looking back at me was a disturbing picture of a naked girl. I was disgusted, but more importantly scared because the girl in the picture was familiar. I wanted to cease the rapid beating of my heart and flow of my thoughts.
I then stared at the message below the picture.
“If you want her to be famous, go ahead and talk about it. The choice is yours.”
Though I was shivering, I managed to type out.
“Who are you?”
I got an immediate reply.
“What would the fun be if I told you?”
Who the hell is this? Why does this person have the same name as Scarlet and how does he own pictures of her and especially those pictures? Oh, it can’t be her, I know she’s a good girl who wouldn’t do such a thing.
“Seriously….. What do you want?” I typed out, breathing heavily.
“I want you to stay away from Scarlet,” he said in reply.
I re-read the message several times to make sure that I was wrong but it’s her name. I don't know how long I kept staring at the message, because I fell into unconsciousness but I came to when mom screamed in shock.
“What are you staring at, Pathum?!”
“What?” I murmured to which she raised her brows and by her look she was about to lose her temper.
Then I came into the realisation that there was that inappropriate picture in my chat, even though it was there, I was focused on the message I got.
“Mom, this is not what you think it is. It’s just someone umm…”
“Oh please explain yourself my dear,” she growled.
“Umm..” I murmured, not knowing what to say. Should I explain to her that someone just threatened me? But if so, I’d have to tell her who the pictures are of. Oh gosh I’m in a terrible situation.
Please mom understand me. I prayed to myself.
“We’ve got some talking to do,” she snapped, closing the curtain and left. But I just stood there stunned, not knowing what to do.