Pathum’s POV
Since we’ve started to get to know each other, we would talk for hours. She’s so excited to talk to me and I was thrilled talking to her. We would talk from 5pm until 12am and then from 6am to 8am every day and the rest of the time we were asleep. She slept until around 8 while I managed to sleep between 6 and 8 or sometimes 10. She’s pretty and guess what I think I need to write in my journal.
She has started calling me her bestie! It’s surprising but she claims that I am.
I can start calling myself lucky. I’ve known her for hardly a month but we’ve expressed ourselves better than ever.
Since I’ve first started sending pictures to her, I was accused of not smiling, and thus I had to alter my insecurities to overcome the fear within me. Even though at the beginning I only showed a few teeth, I later managed to take a bunch with all of them but their irregular positioning looked awful to the camera. So I didn't take pictures with a wide smile.
Eventually, I logged into Wattpad, but there were some harsh critiques regarding my prologue. According to the comments, I have many grammatical errors and punctuation issues. And it seems I’ve conveyed no emotion.
It was tough to accept but now that I look at it, it seems that it’s true. I don't blame them for it. They did their job and I did mine but just that it wasn't as perfect as I expected it to be.
I’ll look at them later but now I need to text her. So I went to open Google Hangouts.
Pathum: Wake up, Sleeping Beauty! Hehe
Scarlet: It’s 6:00 am here sweetie.
Pathum: I know. You seem to have forgotten to have gotten your 8 hours of sleep.
Scarlet: I used to, but I cannot do that anymore. And you want to know why?
Pathum: I’m sorry. Why is that you’re not getting your usual eight hours of sleep?
Scarlet: Because of you, brat!
Pathum: OMG really? Thank you so much!
I knew it but I wanted to hear it from her.
Scarlet: How can I leave my bestie for 8 hours? I can’t seem to do that.
Pathum: About that I want to ask…. Who’s your best friend in real life?
Scarlet: Tell me why do you want to know about my real life bestie?
Pathum: Anything and everything.
Scarlet: Well let me tell about him. He’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my life. He loves talking to me. He loves books and loves watching movies. Also, I love him very much; he’s the best guy in the entire world.
Pathum: And his name is… Pathum?
Scarlet: Yes. It’s Pathum Nisansala.
Pathum: I can't believe it. How can I be? It’s impossible, I’m just a boy.
Scarlet: I can’t believe it either but it’s the truth sweetie. You’re my bestie and I’m glad for it.
Pathum: Thank you so much for your kind words! They mean a lot to me.
I mean my life couldn’t have been better than this. Scarlet’s such a sweet person, and she says I’m her bestie. So imagine how lucky I am.
She then asked me to introduce her to my mom which I did while making dinner. It wasn’t an easy task. I got nervous and my hands shook when I introduced them, and I showed her some of the pictures I got from her. My mom was happy that I made a friend.
“Is she your age?” Mom asked the next morning while we were having our tea.
“No, she’s a year younger than me,” I replied as I sipped my drink.
“Okay. She’s very beautiful. So did you send her your pictures?” Mom looked at me.
“Ah, yes, like one or two old pictures. There weren't any new ones,” I replied hesitantly, my mom could hear the quiver in my voice.
“Okay. But please be careful when sending pictures to strangers,” she warned with a concerned expression.
“She’s not a bad person, mom!” I yelled.
She raised her hand, palm facing me, and gave me a calm look.
“I never said she was. I was just telling you to be careful,” she sighed.
“Whatever!”
I drank my tea and washed the cup. I then left my mom, still mad. My anger had gotten the better of me, and I hate it. I didn’t want to blame my mom or sound rude but I ended up doing just that. I hate my temper.
Grabbing my phone I texted Scarlet.
Scarlet: What’s up, sweetie?
Pathum: What do you think is up?
Scarlet: Mmm?!
Pathum: My BUTT!
Scarlet: OMG
Pathum: OMG what?!
Scarlet: My mom just looked at me with wide eyes, all thanks to you PATHUM.
Pathum: OMG what did I do?
Scarlet: You have a very bad memory. Did you just forgot that you made me laugh out loud?
Pathum: Oh, did I? Well, then, I’m glad I did that. Hehe.
Scarlet: Brat!
Pathum: Hehehe!
Scarlet: You’re such a cute bestie.
Pathum: Aww you’re calling me your bestie again. Thank you.
Scarlet: It’s because that’s the truth. And I’m proud to call you mine.
Pathum: Aww sweetie! You give me more credit than I ever deserve. Why do you do that? Do you do that for every boy you meet? OMG I’m kidding.
Scarlet: Sweetie, I don't think I give you enough credit for your contribution. You deserve more.
Pathum: I have to confess I didn’t have a bestie either. But now I can say you’re my bestie.
Scarlet: Not maybe. Surely.
Pathum: I’m glad to have met you. You’re such a nice individual and I love talking to you.
Scarlet: What do you think about me? Do you think I don't love talking to you? There’s nothing I love more than talking to you.
Pathum: OH my sweetie, thank you so much for your kind words; they mean a lot. I’m not exaggerating but it’s the truth, I love it when someone praises me, but you’re not just someone. You’re everything for me. I’m sorry, don’t get me wrong but you’re a very special friend to me.
Scarlet: You’re the only guy I talk to. Do you understand? I neither talk to guys nor give them credit. I just find you amazing, and you’re a special friend to me as well.
Afterwards I took some pictures of Mazie and I and sent them to him. He was over the moon.
Pathum: OMG! You’re so beautiful. I can’t believe someone like you talks to me.
Scarlet: Neither can I believe someone as handsome as you is talking to me.
Pathum: Awwww, stop being so cute!
Scarlet: Hehehe…… I could say the same, sweet thing.
Pathum: Are we flirting?
Scarlet: Are we?
Pathum: ABSOLUTELY NOT miss.
Scarlet: TRUE, but then what are we doing?
Pathum: We better ask God.
Scarlet: Yes, we better.
Pathum: So, what are you doing now?
Scarlet: Guess it boy.
Pathum: Flirting with old dudes, ain't ya girl?
Scarlet: Oops! How did you find out?
Pathum: I have my eyes on you, Scarlet.
Scarlet: Oh boy, so tell me what are you doing?
Pathum: Just spending time with my girlfriend.
Scarlet: Girlfriend? Oh, okay.
Pathum: Are you curious?
Scarlet: No, why wouldn't I be?
Pathum: Hehe
Scarlet: So tell me about your girlfriend?
Pathum: What do you want to know? Do you want to know her name?
Scarlet: Yes, tell me.
Pathum: Her name is Miss Biology.
Scarlet: OMG! Are you for real?
Pathum: Yes, I am.
Scarlet: So how did you fall in love, while she was teaching you biology?
Pathum: While learning.
Scarlet: I’m surprised your teacher fell in love with you.
Pathum: OMG, what are you talking about?
Scarlet: About your teacher, Miss Biology.
Pathum: OMG, Scarlet! NO NO NO!
Scarlet: YES YES YES!
Pathum: Sweetie, I’m not in love with my Biology teacher. I’m in love with the subject of Biology. I never will be in love with my teacher. How dare you jump to such conclusions!
Scarlet: So what did you mean? Don't you have a girlfriend?
Pathum: I don't, sweetie. I’m in love with Biology hehe.
Scarlet: AWWW, that's cute.
Pathum : Aww, sweetie.
Scarlet: So, did you ever have a girlfriend?
Pathum: I had one, but we were never lovers. We never held hands, kissed, or any of the things lovers do.
Scarlet: But you still had one right?
Pathum: Well, it was more like a crush. I never asked for her number but she liked me and that was it. I liked her too but as a friend.
Scarlet: Why not?
Pathum: Because I’m socially awkward and have poor communication skills. So no girl wanted to stay with me. Who would want to be with a ugly stuttering fool like me?
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Scarlet: That’s such a lie.
Pathum: I wish sweetie. Hehe
Scarlet: Stop telling yourself you’re ugly. You’re a handsome boy. Do you understand that sweetie?
Pathum: Aww sweetie thank you so much for your words but I really am terrible when it comes to real-life communication skills. Even though I could type sweet messages, I couldn't find myself talking when I’m with someone.
Scarlet: That’s fine sweetie. But please just stop telling yourself that you’re ugly.
Pathum: But am I not?
Scarlet: You’re not sir.
Pathum: Really?
Scarlet: Truly.
Pathum: Promise?
Scarlet: I promise sweetie.
Tears cascaded down my face. How am I anything close to handsome? Is she lying? But she’s an innocent soul. She cannot be deceiving. I don't believe that she would do such a thing.
I’ve seen enough of her to believe what she said but what I cannot believe is how could I be not ugly? She says that I look cute when I smile but I know it’s far from the truth. I look horrible when I smile. I’m not accusing her as a liar but I cannot believe I’m anything but ugly.
Pathum: So you're telling me I look good in the mirror?
Scarlet: You look good anywhere, sweetie.
Pathum: Awww you’re so sweet.
Scarlet: Am I?
Pathum: Yes. You’re very sweet.
Scarlet: So tell me.
Pathum: Tell you about what sweetie?
Scarlet: I was wondering why you would call me sweetie.
Pathum: Because you call me sweetie.
Scarlet: Does every girl get the favour of being called sweetie from you?
Pathum: Just the cute innocent ones.
Scarlet: Aww you know how to touch a girl's heart, don't you?
Pathum: Honestly, I do nothing but talk, sweetie.
Scarlet: I know that sweetie.
Pathum: You better, my girl.
Scarlet: Did you just call me your girl? Well..
Pathum: OMG sweetie I was just trying to be funny. I didn't mean anything bad by it.
Scarlet: Let’s say I believe that.
Pathum: Did you just say that? You’re a good girl. Don’t be naughty, okay?
Scarlet: I can be naughty if you want me to.
Pathum: Seriously, Scarlet what’s wrong?
Scarlet: I’m joking.
Pathum: Let’s say I believe that.
Scarlet: Oh you did not just say that.
Pathum: I just did. What are you going to do about it?
Scarlet: Well, don’t think I’m just going to do nothing.
Pathum: Hey, I’m going to have dinner, but I’ll be back soon.
Scarlet: Okay, sweetie, go for it.
Pathum: Thank you.
Scarlet: Don’t thank me sweetie. Just go eat.
So I came to the kitchen, washed my hands and started to eat in my room. Soon my mom joined me. She smiled at me before opening her mouth to speak.
“So did Scarlet talk to you today?”
“Yes,” I said.
“What did she say?”
I shrugged.
“Nothing really. We just talked.”
My mom nodded as she rested her chin on her hands.
“Did she send you pictures of her?”
“She did. I’ll show them to you once I’m done eating,” I said.
“Okay,” she nodded.
Soon I was done eating, so I washed my plate and my hands but the strong, spicy smell of curry wouldn’t be removed by water as usual. So I used dish soap. Even though that soap can’t be used on skin, I used it to wash my hands. I was frequently advised not to use that type of soap on my skin, but I’m too lazy to go to my room to retrieve my hand soap.
“How many times have I told you not to use that dish soap to wash your hands?” my mom sighed while washing her plate.
“The smell of curry won't disappear with water,” I replied in defence.
“When someone advises you not to to do something, think for a while of what they meant okay?” Mom slowly raised her voice.
“Okay, son. When someone tells you not to do something, make sure you don’t do it,” Mom said, slowly raising her voice. “Okay?”
“Okay. Whatever.” I stormed to my room without looking at my mom.
It was rude of me to ignore her, but I didn't mean to hurt her. It was just that my emotions got the best out of it. She entered my room after washing her hands.
“How many times did I tell you not to wipe your hands off on this door curtain?” she asked, pointing towards the curtain on the door of my room.
I wipe my hands not on the cloth that’s in the kitchen but on the door curtain. Because I do that constantly, it eventually became distorted and ugly.
But why would I not wash my hands from the towel in the kitchen? Everyone wipes their hands on that cloth and I don’t want to touch that.
I dislike getting in contact with something that has been touched by many people. Don’t you feel uncomfortable to wipe your clean hands with a germ contaminated cloth?
My door cloth doesn’t differ much but at least I’m the only one who touches it. So why am I being punished for that?
My mom snapped me out of my thoughts by sitting close to me, peering at my computer.
“Now, show me,” she stated.
I gave her a confused look.
“Show you what?”
“Scarlet’s pictures.”
“I don’t have any,” I said not looking into her eyes.
Didn’t I admit earlier I had some?
I don't understand myself.
“Oh, keep that woman to yourself. I don’t need her anyway,” my mom said and went to her side of the bed while I moved to my side..
While I browsed through Wattpad, my mom watched her drama shows on YouTube. She loves watching Korean dramas. She laughed at her show before sighing. I hated myself for snapping at my mom. But it’s too late to change my past actions. I already hurt her.
But why did I suddenly get angry? I cannot do this to anyone anymore. Please understand me, mom. I love you more than what my mouth portrays.
“Aren't you going to text her?”
“I’m not texting anyone now,” I said, my anger rising once again even if I didn't want it to.
“Whatever. Just sleep now. You can talk to her in the morning,” she said, dismissing my tone before switching off her phone and adjusting her pillows.
She went to sleep, but I pulled up my Hangouts app and sent Scarlet a short message.
Pathum: I’m done eating sweetie.
She responded within a minute or two.
Scarlet: I’m done too. Hehe
Pathum: Girl, don't eat too much. You’ll be bigger.
Scarlet: Good. Then I could smash you. Hehe
Pathum: Exactly! Sweet girl.
Scarlet: I’m not going to hurt you, sweetie.
Pathum: Aww you’re something, aren’t you?
Scarlet: Aww thanks sweetie. Sp, tell me how was your dinner? Did you eat a lot?
Pathum: I ate as much as I could to lift you.
Scarlet: You wish.
Pathum: Hey, I can lift alright?
Scarlet: Such a pity darling, you could try.
Pathum: I will lift you.
Scarlet: Okay, darling, I believe you.
Pathum: Hehehe
Scarlet: You’re so cute.
Pathum: Thank you sweetie. So tell me how was your new uncle? Does he make you happy?
Scarlet: Who the heck are you talking about?
Pathum: The mention of him makes you mad, doesn’t it?
Scarlet: I don't know who you are talking about.
Pathum: He has commented on your book and left many messages on your feed. But I’m sorry, it’s none of my business and I’m sorry for bringing him in the conversation.
Scarlet: Don’t be sorry. I just want to forget about him but when you brought him up, it stirred up everything, you know?
Pathum: I know and I’m sorry for that. If you want to tell me about it, just let me know.
Scarlet: I’m hurt sweetie. That man was talking trash about me and my family.
Pathum: Tell me everything that happened. I’ll listen.
Scarlet: Okay. So as you saw, this guy started to comment on my book and on my message feed saying I was beautiful and mature for my age and stuff you could always imagine to be good. At first I thought it was compliments and I took it as such but it all changed when he started to ask for my number. He then began saying that he likes me more than he could describe.
Pathum: It must have been terrible. I’m sorry for everything you've been through and me stirring it up. It was wrong of me to do that.
Scarlet: You don’t have to be sorry sweetie; you didn’t do anything wrong. But I haven’t told you everything. I don’t know whether I could say it. I doubt I have the strength, Pathum.
Pathum: Sweetie, I’m sorry for bringing the conversation. I did something that I shouldn't have done. Let’s just forget about it.
Scarlet: NO! Sweetie, we cannot forget it like it never existed. I have to take it out of my mind.
Pathum: Tell me anything and I’ll listen to you.
Scarlet: I know that you will.
Pathum: Go ahead sweetie.
Scarlet: So as I said he began with giving compliments to my beauty and later on he started to have feelings towards my body and he confessed that. I didn't mind but he kept saying things, showing me how much he cares for me, and how he wanted me in his life and eventually he stirred up things. He then started to point out my family’s mistakes. I told him to stop in the beginning but he didn’t want to. So I had to end that chapter. I hope you understand what I’m saying sweetie.
Pathum: Sweetie, I understand. Okay? And I’m here if you need me.
Scarlet: That's an immense solace, Pathum. I didn't tell my family about this. Just you and some other friends know, but you were the one I went onto to explain the details to.
Pathum: Do you feel liberated?
Scarlet: Yes.
Pathum: I'm glad.
Scarlet: So sweetie, what are we going to do?
Pathum: Talk, I guess hehe.
Scarlet: Hey, I haven't seen your mother. Can I see you both?
Pathum: OMG. Are you talking about us both being in a picture?
Scarlet: Yes, sweetie. I want to see you both in the same picture.
Pathum: I’m so sorry. I can’t make that wish come true.
Scarlet: And why can’t you?
Pathum: Because we don’t have a picture we’re both in.
Scarlet: You’re kidding me, right?
Pathum: Why would I, sweetie?
Scarlet: Well, can’t we just make wishes come true?
Pathum: Oh, can we?
Scarlet: Yes, we can.
Pathum: Honestly I feel bad now.
Scarlet: You don’t have to, sweetie.
Pathum: But sweetie-
Scarlet: No “buts”, sweetie. If you don't have a picture of you both that's fine. All you must do to make my wish come true is take one and send it to me. Do you understand?
Pathum: Yes, ma’am.
Scarlet: Good boy. Now as I say.
Pathum: You’ll have to wait until morning.
Scarlet: Okay, that’s fine. I can wait all day.
Afterwards I fell into slumber but I was woken up in the morning by my mother when my tea was ready. I quickly washed my face, getting ready to drink the tea.
Remembering what Scarlet said I told my mom and discussed a time where we would be able to capture one and it was scheduled for the night cause there wasn’t any free time in the day. It was an exciting day. Anxious because I have to wait until night arrived. It was exciting because mom and I were about to take a picture together.
We may have taken pictures when I was little but once reaching teenage years I don't remember a single day where we were together for a picture. And does that explain everything about our love? Of course not, I love my mom more than anyone in this world but at the same time I don't have a picture which included her on one side. It isn’t because there wasn’t any love between us it was because we both were not fond of photography. Neither of us were photogenic or something of that sort or in other terms we didn't take pictures to express our love at all.
Our story is just not always sweet. We’ve had difficult times and most of our time we didn’t go on trips. So that was also why we don't have enough pictures. But no excuses. I felt ashamed that I didn't have a picture with my mom.
But at the same time I didn't feel that embarrassed as well cause I don’t have that many pictures of myself as well. Except snapshots that I took for profile pictures. And also I had pictures that I took with my friends. I wasn’t a huge fan of having more friends yet I had more pictures of them. But I HAD NO PICTURES with my mother.
Humiliation, frustration and sadness crossed my heart.
I should’ve taken more pictures with my mom than with my friends. The fact I have fewer pictures of my mom disappoints me but that's okay. On the other side I don’t have that many pictures with my friends either. But that doesn't matter. I love her more than I love my friends.
It has been that case all the time I loved her the most but did I spend my time showing it? We’ll have one tonight.
The thought delighted me.
Once dinner was over, it was time for the photograph. Since I ate food, my body is heated. I don’t know whether it’s because of the amount I consumed or how spicy the food was.
But I brushed my teeth and washed my face with my mom’s face wash. Scrubbing and rinsing away all the dirt.
Mom on the other hand had spent her time applying makeup. It was a huge difference in our approach for a picture.
“Are you ready?” I asked lifting the phone above my face.
“Hold on,” Mom said, biting her lip and smiling.
I opened my mouth and showed my ugly irregularly placed teeth.
“Behave child,” Mom said tapping my head making both of us laugh.
“Okay, mother.”
We took the picture but then soon put them into trash. We took some other pictures while both smiling. They didn't look good so I chose to delete them. Even though this picture isn't for the royal palace or a competition we still valued how we look, although that generates many debates that we shouldn't judge based on looks. Well at the moment the judgement is based on looks so we proceeded to seek perfection in an imperfect world.
The first five minutes were spent arguing about which pose would look better and which angle is best. But soon we stopped and decided to take a picture despite how it looked. When we captured the perfect one we exchanged hands of who's holding the phone when taking pictures. Even though I suck at finger gestures I deliberately did so. Well what I was trying to say was when you pose for a picture you usually show signs with your fingers right? Well, I suck at such impressions. But I managed to capture a good picture with my thumbs up.
After taking half a dozen pictures, we decided to send the three perfect images to Scarlet which prompted a quick response from her.
Scarlet: OMG!
Pathum: I know. They’re horrible. I’m sorry.
Scarlet: Shut up.
Pathum: Umm.. sorry..
Scarlet: God, your mother’s so young and beautiful.
Pathum : Aww thank you so much. She’s beautiful but I...
Scarlet: Shut up boy. I’m just looking for the right words to describe how handsome her son is.
Pathum: I-
Scarlet: I’m going to show this to my mom and sis. Gimme a minute.
A minute felt like an hour, but in the midst of everything my cheeks grew redder when mom asked how she reacted. My cheeks heated even more the further I explained what Scarlet said. But soon she was back.
Scarlet: They loved your mother but they think you’re a bit too much to be…
Pathum: A bit too much to be what?