At speed we were travelling, just a little faster than average, it was a two day trip to the capital by grav-line. I spent the morning enjoying the views as we sped past them, often turning to catch a longer glimpse. It was an odd way to travel for me because it was almost completely silent. The speeds were so fast that positions changed frequently and it took a lot of concentration to remain safe. As the light began to soften for early evening, Kine gave a signal and the group spread out. I could see the front runners slowing as the hit an eddy, moving smoothly to the slow outer edge. They exited the grav-line and continued forward at a run to make room for those that exited in behind them.
I had an easier job as I quickly connected to the pod, signalling for higher gravity and feeling it slow before finally coming to a stop a length and a half past the eddy. When we had stopped completely, I released my restraints and carefully exited the pod making sure that my footing was steady before turning to release Seth. Warriors moved up behind me to get the baggage and I was gently guided to the side. Kine was there to help me exit the grav-line.
Seth squirmed so I put him down and he scampered off, chasing something through the ground cover, happy to run off the energy he’s accumulated through the long day. I felt the opposite. Stretching from ears to tail, arms over my head, I indulged in a good shake to try and ease out the aches. I was starting to feel tired and we still needed to set up our camp for the night.
I looked about to get my bearings and saw that Kine was overseeing his people and organising the camp. With so many, it wasn’t long before the temporary shelters were up, a watch sorted into shifts and food being handed out. I looked around for a fire or some other preparation area and was surprised to see they had a travel food unit. Hot delicious food at our fingertips. Yum. I glanced around spotted my brother, following one of the warriors as he gathered supplies for the shelters.
“Seth!! Come and get your food!” I called out. He quickly zeroed in on me and scampered over. Young boys everywhere were the same, always hungry. Satisfied that he was settled and filling his cavernous pit of a stomach, I collected my own and savoured the beautiful flavours.
“How are you both? Coping alright?” Kine had settled quietly beside me. We shared a companionable silence as we ate and I appreciated that he gave me space. I still wasn’t quite over the shock of being made the ward of the King.
“We’re alright. Seth loved riding in the pod. We hardly ever get to experience the grav-line. But it was a little odd.”
“Oh? How so?” Kine eyes glinted with curiosity. It made me pause, he was actually interested in my opinions! Did he care? After such a short time?
“I’m used to a slower pace of travel, with lots of noise, chatter and interacting with many people. At least when we travelled with the groups. But even when it was just Dad and I, we could talk for hours.” I smiled at the memory. “We could also walk silently, just observing or communicating with gestures. Sometimes, he’d have me practice mind talk.” I trailed off.
Kine smiled kindly and butted his head against mine gently. “It’s okay. You’re not on your own anymore. Take all the time you need. I’ll shelter you.” he said, low and quiet.
I flicked my tail in acknowledgment and butted my head up under his chin, resting against him. I told myself it was okay to let my guard down and get close to him. Just don’t rely on him. But he made it so easy. I sighed and Seth, stuffed to the gills, crawled into my lap.
“Come on. You two need to sleep. Here, I’ll show you your shelter. It’s right next to mine and your guards are on the other side. You remember Kaylor? And with him is his sister Eecee.” Kine stopped talking as he brought them to a shelter in the centre of the camp, slightly larger than the others. “Here we are. It’s basic but comfortable. Rest well. We have some time before we need to leave in the morning so no need to greet the sun. Goodnight,” He smiled and brushed my cheek with his knuckles, then did the same with Seth.
I smiled back, shy with his affection. “Night Kine.” Seth mewed and yawned. Kine turned and walked back to the main group. I watched him with consideration, no doubt a light frown denting my forehead. I turned to the guards and wished them a goodnight too before ducking into the shelter.
Basic? He didn’t know the meaning of the word. The size alone for two people, well one persona and a cub, was ample. You could fit six in here. When I put Seth down, he immediately snuggled into the bedding. It was warm and cozy in here and I stretched luxuriously and settled down to think. So much had happened... I needed to clear my head before I could rest so I retrieved my book and began to flip through it, looking for the right page. Usually, I did everything with the nanites but it somehow felt right to use the ancient scribe and leaf. It was a lost art, very few could write anymore and trying to get hold of materials was almost impossible. I made my own from plant fibre and squid ink. Even though all data storage had EMP protection, I didn’t want to lose what was in my book.
There, I found the page I wanted, only three other entries in it. Pausing to get my thoughts straight, I began the fourth.
Always Trusts
Dad (Always. Protector, Teacher, Comfort). Of course I trust my Dad. He’s always been there, always protected me even though I may not have realised it. He taught me, prepared me and trusted me in everything.
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Mum (Always, Protector even if she has to leave to do that, Comfort). Of course I trust my mum. Even though she left, I knew it was the best choice. Even though I miss her, I know she’ll always find a way to reach out to us. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever see her again but I know she loves me and is protecting me even now. She taught me how to understand those who hurt us and the difficult world I live in.
The Network (To get it right, To put the Community first). This is hard. Rather than an individual I know really well, this is and ever changing group who face difficult times. As a part of that group I automatically trust that they care about our shared goal of protecting our people but agenda and sentiment changes quickly under hardship. I can trust in the rules and protection Dad and I have out in place. I can trust the leaders I work closely with. But I am aware that a few small changes may derail that. For now, I trust what we have built and the hopes of those behind it.
Kine...? We were surrounded, I’d never been that close to them before, not like that. But then he was there. It was so strange but he made me feel calm, safe. Or safer. The others were still a threat but not him. None of this explains why I trusted him. Maybe trust has no explanation, it’s not supposed to. People talk about earning trust but that’s the wrong way round. Trust can’t be earned only lost. Trust cannot be taken, only given... maybe? I opened up about my past, my pain. I let him see so much of me and he accepted it all. But I don’t know him. And I let him take care of me. And Seth. I never relied on anyone to do that. Not since Dad died. But now I think about it, it’s almost like I’m connected to him. He feels like kin. I don’t know why but perhaps that’s the reason? Or maybe I’m just tired. Two years of doing this alone and I’m struggling. I can admit that to myself. Twenty is so young to be alone in the world. But regardless of why, I have decided to trust him... Kine.
If love always trusts, do I resign myself to the inevitable hurt? Or am I supposed to trust that they won’t hurt me too? It’s hard. No one is perfect so things will go wrong... I want to be better at this, I know I’ll never be happy if I always keep everyone at a distance but... I guess I just need to keep working on it. So I can stop fighting it and choose to accept that trust growing between Kine and I. I trust him and I believe I will not break it. That’s my choice.
I closed the book and put away my materials with a quiet huff. No closer to a solid answer but at least my head was a little quieter. I’ve made a choice but I’ll have to tackle the inevitable doubts... later. Yawning, I take off my boots and the day hits me like a strong wave to the back so I cuddled down next to Seth and curl around him protectively. The bedding seemed to wrap me in gentle arms, the soft warmth lulled me into a deep sleep.
***
Kine walked towards his shelter in the dark, his eyes shifted to feline to help him see. He probably didn’t need it, having many benefits even in Resting form, but he had learned it was better to be safe. Life as a King was not one in which you could take chances. He glanced at the shelter his wards were in, but all was still. They must have gone to sleep. He ducked into his own shelter and sighed as he lowered himself onto his soft bedding.
It felt like minutes later when he awoke, refreshed and well rested. Stretching out the little kinks and aches in satisfying pops and clicks. Preferably, when he was out in the Wilds, he liked to sleep in his Feline form but this time, Kine wanted to stay in Resting form. He felt closer to Sierra that way. He hadn’t missed the fear in her posture when he and his people had approached her as Felines on that hill yesterday.
He opened the covering and saw what promised to be another clear day. At least the climate moderator was working properly now. It had been malfunctioning for a whole rising moon and Kine was beginning to worry about the harvest. One more thing he could feel easy about. And he had found an expert climatologist/mechanic who was now a permanent member of staff so this wouldn’t happen in the future. Now he could focus on the diplomatic delegation from the Drakes. And the two young cubs who were just now emerging from their own shelter.
***
I crawled out from the shelter following an eager Seth and stood to watch the busy, productive bustle of the camp. Kine was also up, surveying the activity. He seemed happy with the work. It took only moments to see the temporary camp packed back up and into the storage hut. Seth bounded into the activity, excited to be a part of the busy group. I smiled but called him back.
“Come on Seth, have some food while I pack up.”
He raced back, always eager for more food. Already, he could put it away. That boy is going to shoot up, a veritable giant I’d say. I pulled out our preserved protein and he gave a yowl of delight. I’d have normally hunted so we had fresh but with everything that had happened...
I turned around and re-entered the shelter to start packing up the bedding and clothes before collapsing and storing the large shelter. I looked to my own truly basic shelter that I never got a chance to unpack. Perhaps I should have left it with the Myath, we- they didn’t have many opportunities to gain new resources. But I just couldn’t quite let it go. If I ever had to leave, once Seth was safe or after he gained maturity and could choose for himself... it dawned on me that I really had no idea, no plan for what happened next.
I was hated in the capital and they hadn’t even met me. The Kings protection, however long it lasted, wouldn’t change what I am or how I’ll be treated. And how do I treat them? I’m basically in hostile territory. There may be some like Kine but most won’t be. Perhaps that’s not fair, maybe there will be more than I think. But still, I can’t just hide behind him, I won’t cower but I can’t exactly be rude. One it’s dangerous and two, I have to think about Seth. Mum didn’t have anything bad to say about her political mate. But how does he feel about me. Will he try to separate me from Seth. He shouldn’t be able to, I’m Seth’s legari but... he’ll probably have the support of the Houses.
Sighing, I finished with the shelter and luggage. I was getting nowhere with these thoughts, we had to leave soon. I looked around for Seth but couldn’t see him anywhere. I frowned briefly and headed into the centre of activity. He probably wanted to help the others or find one of the adults. He had seemed to like it when they were in their Feline forms. Kine wasn’t around so perhaps Seth was with him.
I searched, keeping an eye low to the ground but, by the time I reached Kine’s trusted warriors as they hefted their gear ready to move to the transport line, I could find no sign of my brother. A bad feeling creeped it’s icy way down my spine. “Seth?” I whispered worriedly. I tried not to panic. Just breathe. A deep breathe through the nose. Hold. And out. In. Hold. And out. In. Ho- his scent!
My head whipped to follow the brief trace of scent I had detected, like a glimpse from the corner of your eye. Where was it? I weaved my head a little, searching with my eyes as well. There! The well camouflaged trail to the grav-line and Seth’s scent following it. I breathed a little sigh of relief. He must have gone to look at it, he’s always so curious, wanting to investigate.
Relaxing a little, but still feeling the rush from my panic, I followed the trail, scenting every now and then to make sure he hadn’t wandered off, careful to be as quiet and stealthy as I could. Although, generally, the land was considered safe, you could never be too careful. Reaching the end of the path, I found cover and called gently, “Seth, stay with the group, we’re leaving soon.”
He didn’t respond so I tried again with my mental call... “Seeeeeth”... There! A whimper, barely heard in the back of my mind. My protective instincts kicked up a notch and I broke cover, sprinting out into the open. I reached the grav-line and stuttered to a halt. The site that met me turned my blood cold.
“Ah, and here comes the mongrel…”