I walked through the camp keeping an eye out as usual. The atmosphere was relaxed, or as relaxed as it ever was. We’d only been here for a few rotations but we’d finally settled into that familiar rhythm of camp life. I spotted Namada and smile as I approached.
“Namada. Did you rest well?”
Namada was a formidable woman. Almost mid-life now, she had seen a great deal and it had made her a great leader, both discerning and disciplined. She and my father had been close though they disagreed a lot, sometimes bickering like siblings. But they had respected each other and made a good team. She missed him almost as much as I did. Half Elven, half Igidoe, she was taller than most and striking. I thought she was beautiful.
“Sierra. I’m fine. We finally got the camp all set up.” She paused, hesitating. “Things are going to get difficult if this keeps happening.”
“I know. But I don’t think we can plan for any improvements. Things are changing so we’re going to have to start thinking outside the norm.”
She didn’t answer but we both knew the future was uncertain. Strange high tides had flooded some of our camp sites several times in the last Lunar orbits and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. There were few safe places in this world for Myath. What with hostile land owners and frequent hunts for illegal breeds, we had nowhere of our own.
There were some pure bloods who sympathised with us, and sheltered us or strategically ignored us, but they were few. Then there were those who really didn’t care as long as we stayed out of the way. Slightly more dangerous as they could react badly if we jeopardised their interests. Then there were those who wanted us eliminated. Completely. They had extreme views even among their own kind and were usually the ones organising and leading hunts.
Shaking myself out of troubling thoughts I returned my attention to Namada. “Have you heard from our source? He was supposed to report soon but this unscheduled move may delay him.”
Namada nodded calmly. “I’ve had word that he knows of our change and will report before the two rotations. Hopefully he brings some good news.” She peered intently as me, scrutinising. “You know, you don’t have to handle everything Sierra. Take a break every now and then. It’ll do you good.”
I nod back. “I know. I just don’t want to fail any of you.” We both paused acknowledging everything that was at stake. We were both right. I gave a little sigh. “That’s good news about the source. I’m going to take Seth up to the graves but we’ll be back well before dark. Thanks Namada. Get some rest too my friend.”
Her look was knowing but she didn’t say anything and instead barked out a laugh and we both grinned. Rest was a precious commodity for any leader but especially for the leaders of an illegally community.
***
I sat playing with my half-brother on the edges of the refugee camp, near the wooded area. He was just four orbits old but so smart and full of life. Even though it hadn’t been long, it seemed like forever since we could just be together and it felt so good. We relaxed and played and remembered. It had been two orbits since we were last here. Since Mum died. I’d buried Dad next to her so they could be together at last. Nothing would tear them apart now as it had in life. It was such a beautiful day, perfect for a visit. I’d made sure to always talk about Mum and Dad, Seth had such little time with them that I was afraid he’d forget. It helped with the pain too. I missed them so much. Seth’s laughter rang through the air and the warm sun shone down from the blue skies. I smiled and settled into a playful crouch ready to pounce on the little cub. He gave a squeaky growl of excitement and stuck his little bum in the air, tail wiggling in excitement. Eyes shining, I waited just a second longer and then pounced, making sure to fly over him as he took off running, panting happily. I gave chase. Despite my fears about a life with me constantly on the run, I’m glad Seth could still be a kid despite all we’d been through.
Being on Icanthie land, the refugee village was at risk of discovery every day. The consequences for us were not good… except for Seth who was full Icanthie himself. But, for every other person in the village, some human, they would probably not survive. Myath were ignored when convenient, destroyed when necessary and prevented if at all possible. It’s why I made sure to move between groups every other month or so. You never could tell when a group would be found or how the soldiers would react. Sometimes, soldiers would wreck the camp and push the refugees along across borders, sometimes it was a massacre. They didn’t like mongrels and they never tolerated humans. Relations between the Human kingdom and… well every other kingdom were bad. They were hated for their role in nearly destroying the planet. The Myath were somewhat sympathetic to the humans, after all we’re both hated peoples. But for the Myath, it often wasn’t worth the risk of helping them. And if anyone was caught with a human, there was no mercy. And so we hide.
So when I heard the sound of snarls and the oddly gentle lope of cats paws, I knew we’d been found. Frozen in place, Seth bumping into me as the game suddenly came to an end, my mind racing. What do I do? My instinct is to run but it’s too late for that. The keen noses of the Icanthie warriors would sniff us out quickly, there was nowhere to hide. It would be pointless. My muscles tensed anyway, ready to flee or fight. We could run, but the hunting party would just catch up to us and they may kill us in their annoyance. The guilty ran. Besides, running with a four orbit old in tow, we wouldn’t get far and I’d never leave him. We had to wait and have faith but I fidgeted, instinct warring with intellect. Lifting Seth into my arms, I turned to the forest and made my way to the two mounds that held Mum and Dad, sitting down cross legged to face the village. I gently held Seth’s head to my chest in a cuddle. He didn’t need to see what might happen.
At first I was optimistic. We might get a busy squad or one of the apathetic leaders. It would be okay, the village would just be moved along, maybe some damage to possessions as a “lesson”. But then, my ears pricked. An argument had broken out. Frustration and sadness welled up in me. Whatever it was, it wasn’t worth the price. I started to hum but soon ended up singing to drown out the sounds coming from the village. It was not the clash of metal you expect of the Dwarves or the other solid species. It was much more wild than that. With my ears out, I could hear screams of men, the tearing sound of fabric and the wetter sound of claws and fangs tearing flesh. There were quiet growls and snarls but mostly the Icanthie soldiers worked silently. Even still, it was quieter than I expected. Perhaps most of the village would survive?
Fear is a funny thing. It’s different every time. Sometimes you freeze, sometimes you lash out, sometimes you run but every time it’s different. You can’t predict it. I always expect too much from myself, always thinking I should be braver, stronger, smarter, more capable... I guess I just didn’t want to let anyone down. But I was scared and I had reason to be. I didn’t know how this would end, how bad they would treat me. What would happen to Seth? There were rumours among the Myath that some among the races actually welcomed my kind, rather than just tolerate us but I was always sceptical. Even in my extensive travels with my father, I’d never seen it. I can only come to the conclusion that such instances were rare and motivated by kin ties.
Kin. I could use that. I’m Seth’s sole carer... ah. I was forgetting his father. And they might kill me exactly because a Myath dared to take charge of a pure blood Courtier. I desperately hoped they’d let me live and be with Seth. I tried to calculate if it would be worth it to fight... The odds were against me. I had to talk my way around this. And to do that, I had to try to calm my racing thoughts and pulse. I didn’t trust them to treat me well or even let me look after Seth, but I had to try. And if by some miracle it went well, I’d be keeping my guard up until such time I was convinced we were safe.
The village quieted. They’d follow the scent trails, looking for stragglers. It wouldn’t be long before they found us. Still holding Seth and singing, I refused to look away when warriors, in their huge Feline and powerful Warrior forms, emerged from among the makeshift buildings and encircled us. My tail and ears twitched agitatedly, but I stayed seated. I mustn’t provoke them. It was so difficult to stay in the non-threatening position when danger was close. I was used to slipping into the shadows and fleeing or, if necessary, fighting my way out and ending it quickly. Still cradling Seth, I watched intently, waiting for them to make the first move. Don’t antagonise them, don’t antagonise them, don’t antagonise them.
They had that still readiness predators just seem to be born with and I thought I heard the quiet staccato sound of a feline hunting call. Cak-cak-cak. I tensed. Relax Sierra. You are not prey. Suddenly, the tension seemed to leach away and the group parted.
A huge male in his Warrior Form strode forward. He was a sight to behold. The short, soft knapp of the Resting Form was now a thick, lustrous fur that mimicked his feline colouring and patterns. It was dense enough to protect against blades and some projectile attacks. He towered over me on lengthened limbs, lean with muscle. Sharp, deadly claws adorned his hands and feet and his canine teeth were extended, powerful weapons in combat. I could tell from the golden and coal black patterning of leopard spots that shone in the glittering sunlight that he was from a powerful house. His eyes seemed to gleam as he studied me, taking in every detail including Seth in my arms. I felt a kick under my ribs, then nothing. What was that? His bright green orbs blazed with intelligence and contemplated me with studied patience and interest. And… was that a spark of compassion?
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“What have you found Thane?” He asked, his tone rich and strong yet quiet, almost gentle. Even as he spoke, he continued to study us.
I didn’t want to look away from this oddly compelling figure. He wasn’t what I would have expected from a Courtier. He was a soldier. And someone who had just helped or even commanded the destruction of a placid village of outcasts I reminded myself. Somehow, I managed to drag my eyes off him and glanced around to find that all the warriors were now in their Resting Forms, skin glistening in tones from dark ebony to creamy mocha. From the patterning that flared out from the tips of their eyes, they came from many houses but all were from, what most would consider to be, pure bloodlines.
I always found it morbidly amusing. In our Resting Forms we looked mostly human. Our skin tones ranged from dark to pale, and our bodies from skinny to muscular. The only aesthetic differences were our ears and tail and the unique patterning that always appeared in the same places over our bodies. A curved V flared out from our eyes and stretched from the temple to the jaw. More patterning flowed in a strip, from the crown of our head down our spines and from the shoulder blades, it curved around the tips of the shoulders and hugged the inside of the arms, following the veins from the elbow to the wrist. From the base of the spine, it curled around the hips and wrapped across the thigh to the inside of the knee. If we were so inclined, we could exert a lot of energy and pull in our ears and tail. We’d look like elaborately tattooed humans, or completely human in the right clothes. And yet most people completely despised them and were proud of how far away their blood was from humans. It made no sense to me.
The warrior guards looked out at the landscape rather than at Seth and I. We obviously weren’t a threat. Their knapps were all pristine, clear patterns and bold colours visible at their temples. Defined patterns: leopard, tiger, cheetah; denoted their elite bloodlines. The clearer the pattern, the more pure it is so the higher the rank. I squinted at the various patterns. These guys were top rank… like Courtiers. Wait. Warrior Courtiers? That seemed odd. Most Courtiers that deigned to leave their luxury stayed back and let others handle the dirty work.
I was brought out of my musings by the answering voice of, I assume, Thane. “It looks like two juveniles Sire. Icanthie but… the scent isn’t quite right.”
“I am a Myath…”
My sudden and blunt statement brought a telling silence. I’m not sure why I just blurted it out like that. It’s not like I had a death wish and I wasn’t stupid. I knew the risks but they were always going to find out. Wasn’t it better to be honest and cut to the chase? I hoped my decision was the right one. I held still, waiting for their response, only the odd twitch of my tail and nose gave away my anxiety. My mind began to race. If I had to fight to protect my brother and myself… I would.
The leader narrowed his eyes as he stared at me. The pause was long and tense and I could sense the surprise of the warriors around me. Finally he spoke. “A brave little Myath to be so open about it.” he said. I let out a quiet breath of relief. That was a positive response, right? Then I opened my big mouth again.
“I am not ashamed of my heritage.” Though I spoke quietly but firmly, I could have bitten my tongue. No going back now. It may not be wise but I had always been taught to never be ashamed of who I was. I didn’t want to hide just because I wasn’t acceptable to those around me. But I had Seth to think about and we couldn’t afford for him to fall into the wrong hands. I bit my lip and looked down at him. I needed to keep quiet, I couldn’t afford to upset these males, not if it cost me Seth. Or my life. Then what would happen to the cub?
“What is your heritage little one?” the leader asked. My head shot back up to look into his eyes. Why did he care? I was Myath, no one cared how I came to be unless it was to punish my parents for their perceived crime. My brow furrowed a little. I had to answer, we were at his mercy, if he had any.
“My mother was Icanthie, a Courtier of a founding house. My father was a Myath, like me.” I tried to keep a steady voice but thinking about my parents was always difficult. I missed them so much. Plus, I couldn’t let them think I was afraid. Predators know how to take advantage of fear.
The leader acknowledged my answer with grunt and a nod and stared at us in contemplation. He seemed puzzled. His eyes moved rapidly as he took in every detail, from my golden ears and tail to my mocha skin, eventually settling on Seth. “And the little one? Myath too?”
I winced inside but showed nothing. I had to make sure I handled this right so Seth and I wouldn’t be separated. A crowd that lingered close by had drifted closer, curiosity about what interested their leader so much. With his question, the quiet mutters drifted among them, some more harsh than others. One particular voice spat out “Mongrel”. The derisive comment enflamed my temper. I tried to keep my outrage off my face but I could tell my body betrayed me. My shoulders had tensed and my tail stiffened so I forced myself to relax and flow into a neutral stance.
When I was once again in control, I noticed the irritated scowls directed at one of the warriors, the mouthy one presumably, and the icy glint in the leaders eyes as he looked for the offender. A cute little growl escaped from Seth as he sat in my arms and I ducked my head to nuzzle him, partly to comfort us both but mostly to hide my smile. We were a team and having my little brother stick up for me was adorable and uplifting. His love was unconditional and he didn’t care about what others thought. He was worth everything we had to go through, no matter how unbearable.
“...No.” I said, locking eyes with him. I was so terrified. Was this it? They’d take him away from me. But I sensed that I had to be honest. This male had been oddly patient so far with no signs of aggression and I didn’t want to give him a reason to change that. Especially considering what just happened to the village. I couldn’t afford to upset him. It had to be the truth. “My half-brother is full Icanthie. But I am his Legari and, Myath or Icanthie, he is my kin... and I will always defend my kin, no matter the odds.”
I was thinking of my other kin, aunts, uncles, cousins. Him. Powerful and dangerous. My ears went flat against my head briefly as I thought of him and I almost bared my tiny fangs in challenge. I pressed my lips together and my tail puffed up in agitation. I stared off into space lost in my memories... or were they Mum’s? Pulling myself back to the present I blinked and gave a little shake of my head. I managed to calm and smooth out my tail fur and relax my ears. I cleared my throat and directed my attention back to the leader, expecting a reprimand for my threatening display but blinked in surprise. He sported a toothy grin. What on planet...?
“Alright little warrior. Peace. We will not harm you.” He rumbled... I wanted to believe him and I also did. Why did I feel so peaceful with him? It was contrary to everything I knew and was taught. He was a pure blood, a threat. It made no sense. He crouched low and settled himself comfortably on the ground, gesturing to his people who, though still on guard, relaxed. “What are your names?”
My face scrunched in confusion but I quickly resumed a blank expression. His curiosity was a good sign but, more than that, I felt like he was actually interested. We were a curiosity but it felt like he actually saw us as people. So I answered, “I’m Sierra and this is my brother, Sethairoth. Seth.”
He smiled gently at us, obviously pleased to have enough of my trust to get answers. I finally looked away and noticed that the crowd had dispersed a little. Only the original small group of elites warriors remained. He drew my attention once more as he greeted us in the traditional way, ubiquitous to all sentient peoples, a courteous tilt of the head and a hand over the heart. “Greetings Sierra and Seth. May our meeting be courteous...”
In my surprise that he would extend any formal greeting to me, my response was half a beat behind what it should be. But I pulled myself together swiftly and responded, head tilted and hand over my heart “And may we part in peace.”
The whole group appeared mildly surprised that I had responded at all let alone correctly, but they hid it well. A serious look came to the leaders eyes and a thought obviously struck him. Quietly he asked, “Where are your parents?”
“Dead.”
A tad blunt perhaps, out of character but what else could I say? We were alone. And the pain of their absence was a permanent, gaping whole. Everyday, I thought about them and how we lost them. Mum’s end was particularly difficult. Her memories, though I kept them locked away most of the time, were a weight I would always carry. In some ways, it was comforting to always have a part of her there but it was a heavy burden too. My sadness seeped out of me, and my eyes felt tight, my shoulder dropped. I struggled not to be overwhelmed by it all.
“Tell me.”
His voice, seemed to come out of nowhere. I hesitated and watching him closely my brow furrowed. It didn’t feel like a command, more like a request. He was asking me to trust him but he didn’t understand. I had too many secrets, many not mine to share. But he had been kind and he held all the power here. I had to give him something. I looked away and busied myself with soothing Seth and taking comfort from his warm weight in my arms.His scent was cozy and fresh. My voice came out quietly, almost a whisper.
“… My mother was Feenya, of the house of Kuthar, she died two orbits ago. And my father was known as Galen the Shadow. He was an Icanthie Myath by his fathers line. I don’t know much about his lineage. He died not long after Mother.” I cleared my throat quietly. I hated sounding vulnerable. I couldn’t afford to be weak.
Immediately, he reached forward and covered my heart with his hand and stared into my eyes. “… Honourable steps on a long road Sierra, daughter of the house of Kuthar.” I clenched my jaw to stop my mouth from dropping open. I couldn’t believe it. He acknowledged me. Not just as another person, but my lineage. He just gave me the right to a place in my House in Icanthie society. My stunned surprise broke but I was shaken. I hadn’t realised how much I longed for a place to belong, or just to be recognised as a person. I dipped my head in a jerky nod. Whoever this male was, he saw me. I would be forever grateful.
“You have an honourable heart Warrior. I thank you.” I croaked out. Slowly, staying as relaxed as I could, I rose from my sitting position, Seth still in my arms. I felt safe enough to move from the non-threatening position to stand tall among them but I still kept a wary eye out. He mirrored me but there was no tension from the group, no threat of attack or aggression. It was so odd, considering...
“Why do you spare me but not the villagers?” Well look how bold I was being today. Honestly, you’d think I was in shock with everything that was coming out of my mouth. I normally had more sense than this. Where was all my hard learned caution?
The group looked confused. The leader threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh. “Little Sierra. Come and see.” He stretched out an arm toward me. I hesitated fractionally before walking cautiously towards him. When I was close enough, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, not tightly, just to guide me, and we walked away from the tree line. When we reached the highest point, he pointed down to the valley.
I gasped. “The village!!” My mouth dropped open at what I saw but it quickly turned into a full on grin.
Down in the valley, the village was a buzz with activity. Familiar faces of villagers were going through the routine of packing up the village for a move. I looked questioningly towards the Icanthie next to me before looking again down at the village. I had heard the attack, the screams. What?
“We tracked a fugitive to your village. He was in his resting form, trying to hide as a Myath.”
I gave a hissing snort. “Idiot.”
The leader smiled at me, amused. “Indeed. We caught up with him and, when he tried to fight, we had to put him down. He just wouldn't give up. We’re not in the habit of massacring whole villages Sierra.” His voice was chastising but also held a little sadness. I didn't want to hurt or insult him but...
“You may not, but others are.” The silence between us was awkward. My past was often dark and difficult but I would be foolish to let it colour my opinion of this Icanthie. He had been nothing but kind. I cleared my throat. “I apologise. Please forgive my assumption. I should have known you were not the type to subscribe to needless violence. You have dealt fairly with me today. I must do the same.”
He smiled gently at me and bumped me with his shoulder. Icanthie, whenever possible, were tactile and demonstrative. This was tame by most standards. “It’s okay. I don’t know what life you have led, but I know some of the sentiments towards Myath. I can understand how you may have thought that. But know this. I have never and will never condone death based solely on a persons heritage. That is not who I am Sierra.”
“...I see that.”