Perfect by nature

Icons of self-indulgence

Just what we all need

More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be

Have you no shame? Don’t you see me?

You know you got everybody fooled

Everybody’s Fool by Evanescence

Staring at the scribbling on the paper, Anna Marie replayed the telephone call again in her mind to confirm it truly happened. In what universe would a strange guy call in the middle of the night and demand she watch movies? It would be similar if Anna Marie dialed a random number and tell the other person on the line to order food from these restaurants. Was this a psychotic break? Had she lost her mind again? She stared at the list of films written down. Sure, she had heard of them, but these movies were bro comedy flicks. Nothing she would ever watch. This had to be a couple teenagers pulling a prank call in the middle of the night. Just like when she was a teenage girl and called someone asking if their refrigerator was running. Yes, you had probably go catch it. Okay, random guy, she would take the bait and watch the first movie on the list – Tower Yard.

Watching the screen intently, she mumbled to herself disappointed she was watching a raunchy male comedy geared towards teenage boys. Logos passed, cue rock song full of angst and then characters rolling onto the screen with the typical bodily function jokes. Fifty minutes had passed and Anna Marie was ready to pull her hair out when a female character entered the plot that funny enough looked similar to Anna Marie. Her blood ran cold as the hair, the clothes and the style of speech mimicked her perfectly. Gulping, she drew closer to the television and turned the volume up to hear the dialogue. Annabelle…the characters name was Annabelle, and the character was portrayed as an uptight bitch turning down the advances of the male lead. There was no way this could be legal. Anna Marie had to call someone, but who should she call?

As the female doppleganger of Anna Marie left the screen, she picked up the remote and fast forwarded the movie until her carbon copy reappear. And she did, at the end, when a ton of spaghetti fell in her convertible car and all over her. Cursing and screaming as all the bros stood around and laughed. There is no way this could be Anna Marie. It had to be just a weird coincidence. Picking up the piece of paper, she scanned down the list for the next movie – Not Very Good Gentleman. Same type of film as before and same type of uptight girl who….oh great….showed her boobs. Anna Marie rolled her eyeballs so far back in her head as the once cold blood began to boil. Throwing down the remote control and standing up, Anna Marie released quite a few swear words while pacing in front of her couch.

And that was only two films. What would her mother think if she saw this? No, it had to be a mistake, just a coincidence. Movie studios could not legally portray a real person, could they. There is the disclaimer at the end of the credits stating any resemblance to real or dead people was just coincidence. Nobody in their right mind would take the chance and get sued. Anna Marie was just jumping to conclusions, just like her therapist stated she had a habit of doing. Or she is in the middle of some hallucination brought on with too much pot use. But the guy on the phone asked if she had a bible. She did. Why did she need a bible? What else was shown on these other movies?

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And Anna Marie did what she knew best – break down in hysterical sobs. How could someone do this to her? Didn’t they know her history with suicide attempts or her history with losing her babies. Or her history of mental illnesses? Or her history of severe depression? Or any one of the horrible things that had happened to her in the last five years? Wasn’t this kicking an already sick and mangy dog? This was inhumane. Gasping for air with large tears pouring off her face, Anna Marie fell face down onto her couch. And her neighbour showed his concern by banging repeatedly on the floor and screaming for her to Shut up! The hamster in her mind sprinted on her wheel. What should she do? Call her mother? No, she would tell her that she’s just making this up in her mind.

Then the stranger’s words came back to Anna Marie about the Bible, and she slid off the couch and crawled over to her bookcase located on the right of the television. Her fingers slid down the spines until she spotted her Bible. It was given to her when she stayed at the halfway house for mentally ill patients. Pulling it out with her hands, she flipped open the Bible and began flipping pages. She found herself in the book of Daniel and stopped to read about Daniel chapter six when he was thrown in the den with the lions. It explained how King Darius had commanded the people that if they prayed to God instead of the King that they would be thrown into the den of lions. And Daniel continued to pray to God three times a day, and he was discovered and thrown in with the lions. But God sent an angel and closed the mouths of the lions. Anna Marie’s tears began to cease. She felt better. She felt comforted.

Then it dawned on Anna Marie that God had known what she went through. He saw everything, and HE knows everything that happens. Closing the Bible, Anna Marie held it close to her chest. She crawled back to the couch, found the remote she had thrown and shut off the television. Opening her laptop, she searched for God’s Motivational Videos, and a video popped up about trusting God. The video began describing different types of losses people could endure. Death of family, a lost marriage, and the loneliness that can follow. The voice and the words pulled Anna Marie in as she identified with it. It didn’t happen the way I wanted. Kind of hit a nerve with her as she all these things happening that she wasn’t happy about. God has your best interest at heart. Anna Marie questioned to herself. God loves me? Even though I am broken?

And then the next line hit Anna Marie. Faith is trusting God when you don’t understand. She sure didn’t understand how her likeness ended up on the screen, but Anna Marie could feel herself calming down. Another video about God showed on her screen, and she clicked it earnestly. Bad times doesn’t mean that God is angry with you. Struggles are meant to develop you. At first Anna Marie balked at this statement. All the struggles and pain she went through – did God not care? Why didn’t he stop it? Then her answer came loud and clear in the video. A bird cannot fly without the force of the wind. God never promised us a life without struggle, but God can comfort us through the troubles.

I will show you love like you’ve never loved before

I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word

‘Cause you will come alive again, call the trying times your friend

Pain that you have suffered through never get the best of you

You will hope in something real, won’t depend on how you feel

When you call my name then I will answer, answer

‘Cause I am on your side though the wind and waves beat against your faith

And you were on my mind when the world was made

Trust in me my child, trust in me my child

I Will Show You Love by Kendall Payne