Evan

Evan followed Tozi to the next watering exchange while Zarg wandered through the troughs of mushrooms occasionally stopping to sniff. He smelled something interesting, probably another cave rat.

“So can cave rats get in here?” Evan said hoping that Zarg wasn’t about to lift a leg on her crop of mushrooms. But he probably had already.

“Oh yeah, they can burrow through dirt doors and walls pretty easily. One benefit of being a mushroom farmer is occasionally catching a cave rat, but those things are lighting fast and smart. Catching them is hard as hell.”

She hadn’t seen Zarg go after something yet. “Right, well if you need some cave rats caught let me know. Zarg’ll catch em.”

“I don’t know, they’re very fast. The only one we ever caught fell into our water tank. And I thought you were lying when you said you’re a cave rat hunter”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t catch them.”

She shook her head. “Look, the people who catch those things have specialized traps and yes, some of them use dogs, but those dogs are supposed to be super-fast.”

Evan laughed. “You really don't know anything about dogs, do you?”

“I’ve seen videos...and stuff.” Tozi stopped at the next watering exchange and pointed at the hole. “If you don’t mind.”

“Zarg, you better watch out. It’s about to get wet.”

Zarg’s ear perked up at his name but kept sniffing.

“What is he afraid of water or something?”

“He’s a little dainty at times. And don’t worry, Zarg is more than fast enough. I promise. Evan shoved the pipe in until it clicked, and it rained down. Zarg gave Evan what could only be described as a dirty look and galloped to the path in the middle of the room.

“Oh, is that so? You want to bet on that?”

“I don’t have any money. What do y'all use for money down here anyway?”

She shook her head. “Don’t change the subject. I bet Zarg can’t catch a cave rat before we finish watering all these mushrooms. And if I win, you have to...do all my choirs for the rest of the day.”

“Fine. And if I win?”

She smiled and tilted her head. “Well, what do you want?”

“You can't tell anyone I’m from the topside and help me get home.”

Her smile left her face. “I’m already going to do that.”

This girl was impossible. “I’m already doing your chores.”

She laughed. “Yeah, you are. Fine. If Zarg catches a rat, I’ll cook it for you, and we can eat it together.”

Seriously? Why did this not feel like a win. “Is cave rat good?”

Her mouth opened. “Oh wow. You really are from the surface. It’s considered a delicacy. So tender. So yummy. Yes.”

"Okay, so where can we find a cave rat?”

“Oh, they are here hiding in the shadows. We’ll run across one before you know it. They love our mushrooms.”

In a cartoonlike poof of water vapor Zarg vanished, leaving only a tunnel of air through the mist raining down splattering water in all directions.

“Orale!” Tozi gasped. “He’s fast.”

Easiest bet Evan ever won. He walked over to Tozi to hand her the pipe. “Here you go, you’re going to need that to shut water off.”

Her mouth was still open. “Did he...no. I don’t see no rat yet.”

Zarg’s joy radiated through the rain. Too easy. Evan laid the pipe down at her feet. “Here he comes.”

A moment later Zarg came jogging down the path with a fat, pink rat hanging from his mouth. He plopped it down in front of Tozi and wagged his tail. Damn, he even delivered it right to her.

Evan scratched Zarg behind his ears. “Who’s a good boy?”

Zarg pressed his head into Evan’s hand. He knew he was.

Tozi grabbed the rat. “Damn it's a big one too. The bigger they are the faster they are.”

“I told you he’s fast enough.”

“Oh, you have stay with us a while. Zarg’ll help improve our yields by...a lot.”

“Are you inviting me to...stay here?”

Tozi flushed red. “Well, just...just you know, until we can get you home. But I’ll have to ask my mom. I’m sure we can put you up for a while. You can stay in my brother’s old room. He’s not here anymore.”

“Oh...did he...”

“No, he’s not dead or anything. He just...had to leave.” What did that mean?

Tozi bent over to grab the pipe. “You won.” She held the rat out. “But you have to carry the rat.”

“Uh...” Evan’s skin crawled and took the pipe instead. “It’s fine. I’ll do the watering.”

Tozi laughed. “What, afraid of a dead animal?”

“I’m not afraid. I’d just rather carry the pipe is all.”

“Sure...”

Evan lifted the pipe into the hole. “So shut it off now?”

Tozi nodded. “Look at you.” Her voice pitched higher. “With a little more training we can have you mushroom farming in no time.”

Once the water ceased to fall, he said, “So how do you think I can get home?”

“The market we sell our mushrooms is located just outside the city. Once there you can get passage to wherever you want to go.”

That would be perfect. He could find a way to the surface from there or go looking for Kae and Nina. “How long until we could get to the city?”

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Tozi’s voice faded. “Oh...we’re taking a crop in in a week.”

“Anyway, I could get their sooner?”

“No. We’re not an Uber you know,” she snapped.

“No, right. A week is fine.”

She turned back to the way they had come. “Come on. Let me take you to meet my mom.”

Their journey back the way they had come continued in silence. Had he said something to offend her? Who knew with this chick. Evan grabbed his purse and laid the pipe down where he had originally found it. When they made it to the entrance to the wider cave where they had met, she stopped to listen to the door.

Evan whispered, “What are you worried about being on the other side?”

“You’re such a stupid topsider. We don’t live in a big, crowded city. There’s not much law enforcement out here. And even then, you sometimes have to worry about it. If anyone finds our crops, they’ll steal them. That’s why you always listen to make sure no one is out there. Oh, and turn your light off. Light can be seen from far away in a straight tunnel.”

“Well maybe you can see in the dark, but I can’t.”

“Here.” She grabbed his hand. “But this doesn't mean you're my boyfriend or anything.”

“I uh...okay.”

“Now turn off the light and don’t make any noise.”

Evan flipped the light off and then made a face.

“I can hear you making faces at me.”

Why did he have to be found by this crazy chick? “No, you can’t.”

“Shh,” she whispered inches from his ear sending tingles down his spine. Wow. That was something. Her hand tugged on his and he followed.

They walked for several minutes in silence except for the occasional click sound from Tozi. Evan could sense Zarg was near, so he didn’t worry about not being able to hear him when he strayed too far behind or ahead. They turned at a junction and then another, every single step in silence and complete darkness. It was amazingly peaceful now that he had someone else with him.

They came to a stop. Tozi leaned in close to Evan’s ear and whispered. “Let me do the talking and don’t say anything stupid.”

“Okay...”

An oval of light opened in front of him, and she pulled him in. Inside friendly white walls covered with bright colored paintings greeted him. A wide teal couch with red throw cushions dominated the center of the room. In front of it a stone coffee table covered in books was flanked with red leather bucket chairs. Polished black floors shined from a bar of light that ran across the ceiling. The earthy aroma of some kind of stew hit Evan’s nose. His mouth watered. Zarg surged ahead and started sniffing everything like an inspector looking for clues.

Tozi escorted Evan inside, not letting go of his hand as she did. “Mama! I brought a friend home.” She led him past the couch and through a doorway behind it which opened into a tall wide two-story open space. Against the far wall a three level stepped stone wall poured water out of Aztec caricatures’ mouths. The water gathered in a wide pool below. Colorful orchids hung between the grimacing caricatures. A wide table sat opposite the fountain with chairs around it.

Evan said, “Your house is...”

“I know, not as fancy as a topsider house. But it's rude to say that about someone’s—”

Evan jerked her hand to interrupt her. “Oh my god. Shut up. Your home is amazing.”

“Oh,” she said sheepishly. “It's still not nice to tell someone to shut up.” She let go of his hand. “And I’m not your girlfriend, you don’t get hold my hand. We’re inside now and there’s light.”

Evan took a breath to speak but wasn’t sure what to say.

Tozi reached around his waist and unstrapped the pulse pistol. “I’m going to hide this for now. She doesn’t need to know about it or that you’re from above.” She stashed the pistol behind a potted plant in the corner of the room. “Mama! I brought a friend home.”

A woman’s voice came from a rounded doorway behind the dining table. “Mija? I'm in the kitchen.”

On the other side of the doorway was the kitchen with the same bright white walls as the house, except that the walls were covered in gauges. In the middle a cast iron black tower climbed to the ceiling. An odd assortment of dials, and knobs with shiny brass fittings covered it. A stovetop of round metal plates surrounded the tower and above the stove top, a brass range hood. Expansive counters of polished white stone and white cabinets lined the walls. A woman shorter than Evan scrubbed mushroom caps at a sink against the wall. She wore a bright apron covered in an orchid print. She had the same jet-black hair as Tozi, except it was tied back in ponytail. She turned the water off and faced them and smiled a deliberately polite smile, like when someone brings a surprise guest home. “And who is this, Mija?”

Evan raised his hand in a timid wave. “I’m Evan.”

“Hello Evan, I’m Rosa. It’s nice to meet you.” Her neck craned to Tozi. “And will he be staying for dinner?”

Just like the first day they met Mistress Kreeg and she had threatened his Mom, a voice invaded Evan’s mind. Mija! Why are you bringing strangers into the house. You know it’s not safe.

Evan tried not to react to the weird sensation by turning his head and scratching his nose. Hopefully it wasn’t too conspicuous.

“If that’s okay,” Tozi said joining her mom by the sink. “He was with a rat hunting party. He got separated and I found him over by mushroom bay one. I was thinking he could stay here you know. Until he can find his people. Since we’re going into the market next week, I figured we could give him a lift there. All ratters end up there to sell their catch anyway. Would that be, okay?”

It’s fine Mama. He’s not dangerous. He helped me do my chores and everything. He’s really nice. I promise.

Mija. I don’t like this.

Tozi held up the rat. “Oh, and look what his dog Zarg, caught. Can you believe that? He has a dog. A real dog. Zarg!”

Zarg lumbered into the kitchen as if on cue. Where had he been? Hopefully not peeing on something. He unsurprisingly made his way to the stove where a big copper pot simmered and sniffed the air. He always thought with his stomach.

Rosa fought a smile, but in the end, she grinned just as Tozi had at Zarg. She bent down to greet Zarg with a pet on the head. “Oye. He’s so big.”

“And he’s a good ratter.” Tozi said not hiding her obvious delight. “Do you see how big this one is? You should have seen him.” Tozi smiled ear to ear as she marveled at Zarg. She glanced at Evan and when caught she quickly looked away.

Mama, can you please let them stay? I’ll even do extra chores. Evan can help me. Plus, with Zarg here, we can eat rat every night! And, and think of how many mushrooms we’ll save by Zarg catching all the rats.

Rosa glanced at Evan and went back to washing mushrooms. “Okay, take him to your brother’s old room. After that, you two wash up. And we can have this rat with the stew.”

“Thank you, Mama."

After passing through the large fountain room the layout of the house became clearer. The fountain room served as the central hub and all rooms extended off it. Large copper pipes originating from the tower in the kitchen lined the ceilings and spread out throughout the house.

“Don’t touch any brass pipes you see; chances are they’re hot with steam or electrical conduits.” Tozi opened a regular door to a room with the same white walls and black polished floors as the rest of the house. It had a small bed, a desk and two more normal doors. It resembled any other bedroom you might expect to find topside, except without windows of course. But the lack of windows was made up for by colorful artwork featuring everything from fish to eyeballs to mushrooms. The imagery in each morphed and blended weird settings that just didn’t make sense. The largest painting in the room was a desert setting featuring mushrooms melting over the limbs of a leafless tree. Evan stared at the painting for a few seconds and finally it just came out. “What am I looking at?”

Tozi shook her head. “What don’t they have surrealism topside?”

“Oh! Okay, I thought maybe for a second, I was losing my mind.”

“You might be, but I couldn’t tell you.” Tozi pointed at the door to the left. “Now that’s the bathroom. But you share it with me, so you know, knock before entering...or you might accidentally walk in on me without clothes on.” She smiled.

What was her deal? Was that an invitation?

“Oh, and come with me.” She again grabbed his hand and dragged him into the bathroom which was nothing more than a sink, flush toilet, and a curtain hiding a shower presumably. She grabbed a container of rubbing alcohol from under the sink. The label on it was like anything else you might find topside. “Wipe those stupid marker drawings off your face. You're not fooling anyone.”

Evan looked at himself in the mirror. The ‘tattoos’ were crude, but they looked realistic enough to him. “Won’t I stand out if I don’t have any?”

“No. Boys like you don’t have tattoos anymore. That’s like, so out of fashion. Besides, it detracts from your handsome face.” She called him handsome. So maybe she did like him after all, and it wasn’t all about Zarg.

She handed him a thick spongy cloth. "Use this.”

Evan rubbed the odd material. “What is this made from?”

“Ugh,” she said with a hint of disgust in her voice. “Always so many questions with you. It’s mushroom cloth. One of the things we grow. I’ll show you tomorrow. Here, let me do it.” She snatched the cloth out of his hand and added some alcohol to it. She gingerly rubbed away the ‘tattoos’ Nina had added. After completely erasing the markings, she rubbed it with her finger gently. “There. Now you’re presentable.”

“Uh, thank you.”

She nodded shyly and left the room. A second later she called back “And wash up, it's time for dinner.”

After finally being able to relieve himself in a proper toilet he washed his face and hands. It was a glorious experience. After entering his room, he found Zarg curled up on the bed sound asleep. Typical. He pulled the blanket over him.

It was time to sit and eat a normal meal with people from essentially another world. All he had to do was act normal and let Tozi lead the conversation. Okay. He could hide all of this for a week and find his way home. He could do this.