Novels2Search

33: Can I get the Fuck Stick Suite?

Adelfried

Adelfried now understood that travelling by wire doesn’t shrink you, instead it stretches you out as you are sucked through a straw, but with extra tingles. After they were extruded out the other end there was a momentary sense of whirling wooziness where he felt extra tall, as his consciousness tried to process what just happened to his body. When he got his wits about him, he realized they were in a small, brightly lit room, made of a tan stone.

“Again, this is where Baba says goodbye. Through there is the lobby.”

“Baba, where exactly could these cables take us?” Jim said still patting his body as if to make sure it had all rematerialized. “Could they take us back to the United States?”

“No, my friend, I would not trust the ocean cables. I hear they no longer work. And even if they did, much too risky. Now if you need me, you have my number.” He gave them a big smile before disappearing into a cable.

After taking a step into the lobby Adelfried looked up in awe at the massive stone ceiling that stepped upwards and away from them. They were in a massive pyramid. Against the wall were towering statues of humans with different animal heads holding staffs and weirdly shaped symbols. Laid out across the lobby floor was a large intricately woven maroon and brown rug covered in more of these symbol based writing, these hieroglyphs.

The same uncomfortable sensation from their trek across the streets of Cairo bloomed in Adelfried. He had noticed the hieroglyphs in the marketplace too but chose to ignore them. But now they were everywhere. And they were inside a pyramid. There had been pyramids constructed in his world too. The great pyramids built across the Mar Nostrum in the hot lands far from his. According to the stories he heard these massive monoliths were constructed in a valley along banks of the great river.

Just like the great river they had just been under.

His chest grew heavy. Breathing became harder. He knew these markings. All of them. He had trained in this language but back in his world. He understood the words. How? How could this language be here? Adelfried stumbled to the wall, falling to his knees.

No.

This wasn’t happening.

His world was this world.

The animals, trees, plants, people were all the same. He had noticed this when he first arrived but ignored it. This was not another world. This was his world, but at a different time. The only explanation was that portal he had travelled had pulled him to the future. The future he was in at that moment.

His chest tightened. He couldn't breathe. Reality crushed down on him. That meant...Leyna and Minna...were gone.

Dead.

Who knows how many years ago. He had lost them. He would never see them again.

He curled into a ball. He didn’t want to see anyone. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be home. But that was never going to happen. There was no home. Home was gone. Minna and Leyna were gone.

He pulled himself into a tighter ball, but nothing helped ease the pain of this new reality.

A hand grasped his shoulder. Jim’s voice was panicked, “Adelfried? Are you okay? What happened?”

Adelfried couldn't just stay curled up on the floor. He had to face it. “I am…not hurt. I…I speak this language. I think I just…” Speaking was hard. He couldn’t say it out loud because that would make it real.

“What you speak Egyptian?”

“No,” Ying corrected him. “They speak Arabic here.”

“These pictorial markings,” Adelfried continued. “I know them, I understand them.”

Jim patted him on the shoulder. “You can read hieroglyphs? How is that? I thought you had to, you know, spend a little time to learn a language.”

Adelfried squeezed himself into a tighter ball, but the pain didn’t relent. “Yes. I know them because…I am from this world. The past…” Just saying it was like a knife in the heart. How could he have missed it for so long. “When the Root connected with my doorway potion, it must have thrown me into the future.”

“Actually,” Ying said in an even tone. “Scientifically speaking that kind of makes sense. Whenever you travel through space, with ESH or magic or whatever, time slows. The faster you go the slower time moves for you compared to anyone else. So, if I had to guess, when you went through that portal, time practically stopped for you. But who knows? But I do think time travel is a lot more plausible than an alternate universe.”

What did she say? Science could explain this? Perhaps with science there was a solution. Adelfried unfurled himself and pressed back against the wall. “Are you saying you understand this? Could I then return to my time?”

Ying’s face flattened. Not what he wanted to see. “There is no scientifically known way to travel backwards in time. Only forward.”

“But…I have the root. I have an immense power source.”

“Look, Einstein proved that you can warp spacetime to allow you travel faster through time than others. But it’s a one-way ticket.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Adelfried got to his feet. He would not be thwarted. “This Einstein never had the Root. So, he wouldn’t know what is possible.”

“Adelfried, science works no matter what. Even if you had an infinite amount of energy, you can’t travel backwards in time. Not to mention the implications of what would happen if you did.”

Adelfried stuck his chin out. “Yes, well we will see about that.” It was the smallest of slivers of hope, but it was hope.

Ying nodded. “Fine, but let’s get a room first. Okay?”

Adelfried straightened up. "Yes, agreed."

Ying released his shoulder and turned to the front desk across the expansive lobby. Looming at the other end was a large slab of stone behind which a woman wore a severe look on her face, like a high priest of old, looking down from her altar. She tapped away at an unseen computer without bothering to take notice of them. Ying spoke up. “Hello?”

The lady continued to tap away as if there weren’t four people staring at her.

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“Hello? Can you not see or hear us?” Ying said, all patience in her voice now gone.

“Yesssss?” She responded, without looking at them.

It was as if Ying’s hackles started to rise. Jim was about to put a hand on her shoulder to calm her but then changed his mind. Probably better if she bit the lady’s head off and not his.

Ying barked, “Well, do you have any rooms? We’re not standing here for our health.”

“Do you have a reservation?” She continued tapping at the keyboard like she was getting paid by how fast she could type.

“If I had a reservation, do you think I would be asking if you had any rooms?”

She stopped typing and let out the tiniest of sighs and looked to her right for the briefest of moments and started typing again. “I’m sorry, we only have the Pharoah’s Staff Suite available.”

“Well, how big is that?” Ying snapped. Adelfried swore he saw fangs coming out.

The lady stopped typing to tip her face down and look over her black rimmed glasses to literally look down at Ying. “It is veeery expensive.”

It was at this moment Ying slipped into the harsh, exaggerated version of her Thai accent, like donning a suit of armor, complete with a sword and shield. Her head whipped around in dramatic fashion towards Jim and Adelfried. “Did I ask her how much?” They both shook their heads no in self-defense. “No! I didn’t, did I?” Ying swung around to face her prey. “I don’t have time for this, I have things to do. You are going to tell me how big this suite is, and I will tell you if I want to waste my money on this dump!”

The front desk lady furrowed her brow. “The Pharoah’s Staff Suite will more than accommodate you and…” She gave a disgusted look at Federico who was still attached to the towel leash. “…your guests. It is the premier suite in all of Cairo, it is, I dare say, one of the finest hotel accommodations in the world. Now are you sure you can afford this? Hmm?” She leaned down as if challenging Ying to a stare off.

Ying’s fist clenched. Jim put his hand on her arm just in case she decided to spider monkey up the desk and rip out the woman’s throat. “Why don’t you tell me how much it is since that seems to bother you so much.”

She rolled her eyes before looking back at her computer and tapped the keyboard a few times. “Three hundred and eighty nummus…a night.” She tilted her head sideways and smiled condescendingly.

Ying held a finger up and retreated a few steps to huddle up with Jim and Adelfried causing the arrogant maroon eggplant of a woman to huff audibly.

“How much money do we have?” Jim and Adelfried dug around in their pockets before combining their money into a pile of crystals.

“It’s two twenty-five.” Ying counted out quickly. She took one of the larger four-sided crystals and held it up. “This is forty.” She turned to Adelfried. “How hard is this to fill up?”

Adelfried responded quickly. “A piece of cock.”

“Cake, but you’re getting better. Now how many could you fill up?”

“I don’t know, but I think as many as you have, it is quite easy.”

Ying quickly crunched the numbers in her head. “Could you fill up let’s say twenty of these?”

“Piece of cake.” He beamed.

“I think we might be rich.” Ying smiled. “Shower, here I come.”

She walked back up to the counter and before she could say anything the hard ass behind the counter started. “Look, there is a budget hotel one wire away, it’s called—”

“Can I get the Fuck Stick Suite or whatever it is called?” Ying snapped.

The crow of a lady jutted her chin out and replied with a squint. “Well, we are going to need payment upfront, then.”

Ying threw up her hands annoyed. “Fine! Give me some empty crystals.”

The lady cocked her head in suspicion before standing up to disappear in the back. After a moment, she came back out with a man who was wearing black suit, maroon tie, and a frown. His voice dripped with irritation. “Ma’am, I am the manager here, is there something I can help you with?”

“I need empty crystals so I can pay for this Fuck Stick Suite. Is that so hard?”

“The Pharoah’s Staff Suite, the premier suite in all of Egypt, correct?”

“So, I hear, but I wouldn’t know because I’m still standing here having to explain everything to everyone.” Ying looked around, now fuming when she saw a bellman walking by and yelled. “Hey! I’m trying to get the Fuck Stick Suite, the premier suite in all of eternity. I hear it’s amazing. What about you? Have you seen it?” She looked back at the manager. “Anyone else I need to put my request in with?”

“Ma’am, that is really not necessary, here.” The manager reached over the counter with a large bowl of empty crystals including some large octagons they had never seen before. Ying snatched the bowl out of his hand and turned to Adelfried.

Jim leaned in and whispered. “Remember what Nathaniel said about showing off in front of people and how its rude and—”

“Nathaniel was talking about nice normal people, not these bitches, so back off.” She paused and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you,” she added, sweetly. She shoved the bowl into Adelfried’s hand and with a growl said. “Make’em glow, magic boy!”

Adelfried giggled, he enjoyed this angrier version of Ying. He put a hand over the bowl and even without the Root he was able to fill the crystals with ease. Ying spun back around and slammed the bowl down on the counter like she was about to yell domino. “Can I get the Fuck Stick suite? Please!”

The lady and the manager’s mouths fell open. The manager picked up one of the larger crystals to look at it closely. “Uh…no…um, yes, ma’am. Right away ma’am.” The manager said. “I mean, uh, can I get anything sent up to your room?”

A malicious grin spread across Ying’s face that would make the Cheshire cat blush. “Yes, yes, you can, as a matter of fact. I want two bottles of chilled champagne, four shawarmas from the underwater bazaar place we were just at, a selection of grilled vegetables, two dozen roses and uh…” Ying tapped the desk. “I don’t see you writing this down.”

“Uh, sorry ma’am, uh, yes ma’am.” The lady quickly started taking notes.

“A case of cold mineral water, extra towels, feather free pillows, and anything else, honey?” She looked back at Jim.

“Extra garlic sauce and a newspaper,” Jim said, trying to maintain a straight face.

“You heard him, extra garlic sauce and every newspaper available in Cairo.” She looked back at Adelfried. “And any requests?”

“Beer,” he responded excited. “Uh what kind of beers do you have?”

“And I want every beer you have on ice stat.” She looked at Federico who almost looked like he wasn’t crying. “Anything for you, sweety?” When he didn’t respond she continued. “A case of tissues and a gallon of fresh squeezed orange juice.”

The manager responded with several bows. “Yes ma’am, right away, ma’am.”

A moment later, the same bellman Ying had barked at earlier helped them to their room which had its own elevator. After a quick trip up the elevator, the doors opened to an expansive foyer with a large carved wooden table situated in the middle. On the table was a tall clear vase filled with glittering orange lilies and a bowl of fresh fruit.

“Let me show you around,” the bellman said, walking into the foyer. “To the left and right we have the guest rooms, each with their own full bathroom and through this main door we have the living area.” They followed him through the double doors which opened to a living room complete with a plush couch, love seat, and a flat screen tv perched on a black hutch with gold inlays. On the far wall expansive windows showed a view of the city lights of Cairo. “Let me show you to the—”

“It’s okay, we can figure it out,” Ying said, kicking her shoes off.

“Yes ma’am. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Is there any way I can get a tablet?” Adelfried asked.

“Actually, yes, and I need a new phone.” Ying added.

“You got it, any requests on what kind of phone or tablet?

“The best you got and put it on our tab at the front desk,” she said, smiling as she dropped twenty nummus in his hand.

“Thank you!” He said, with a quick bow before heading towards the elevator. “Make sure to check out the aquatic level, look for the stairs from the main room and don’t hesitate to call down if you need anything.” He waved as the elevator doors shut.

“Finally! I got a signal.” Jim was now sitting on the couch in the main living room area of the suite. He wiped his palms on his pants before slowly dialing Kae’s number into the phone.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Adelfried said, trying to lift everyone’s spirits, even his own if he was being honest.

Ying paced the room, too nervous to sit down. With the phone on speaker mode, it rang several times. With each ring, the tension continued to build as they waited for her to pick up. After countless rings, they heard Kae’s voice. “O-M-G, who uses a phone to call people, besides you? Send me a text or leave a message and I might check it. Or I might not. BEEP”

Jim started in a calm voice. “Kae, this is your dad. We are all okay. Please call me back at this number as soon as you can, it is very important that we talk, so call me back…at this number…just as soon as you can, okay? I want to know that you and Evan are okay. We had…an issue and need to talk to you as soon as possible, but we’re fine, so don’t worry about us, just call us just as soon as you can. Uh…we love you…so call soon okay…alright? Bye.”

Ying stopped pacing. “I mean, when does she ever answer the phone, right?”

Jim took a deep breath. “Yeah, but, when is she ever away from her phone?”