“Who does he think he is?!” I thought as I walked down the cobble stone street, literally seething.
"Mark's trapped me on some weird VR date! Well! No-means-no!"
There was a man, in a weird turtle costume that had a large shell and full body sleeve that made him look slimy. He was selling cabbages by the side of the street straight from his cart. I stormed over to him, but I knew better then to give him the leftover burning lip service that was boiling up inside, so I took a deep breath and pushed it down, knowing I'd be saving it for Mark later.
"Hi," I started with sweetly, "Would you be able to direct me to the nearest police station?"
The cosplayer glanced at me, then back to his cart. "These are the best cabbages in all of Divinity and beyond!" He said in a dumb roleplaying accent that sounded throaty and slow.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't realise." I said sarcastically.
"You've never eaten a cabbage before? May the river gods take you!"
“Yes, I have actually.” I said trying not to sound curt, “but I’m not here to talk cabbages, could you please give me some directions?”
"This particular variety has been picked this morning from the fields of Edenis. Its spicy flavour will delight your tongue, and its health benefits will… benefit your body."
He didn’t react when my eyeballs were literally doing backward summersaults. I stormed off down the street. That was strange, its fine, how hard can it be to find a police station.
“Oww-oww-oww!”
I was so angry before that I hadn’t realised how much it hurt to walk bare feet. This day could not get any worse. I’m going to need a mani-pedi, oh-gosh, and a foot scrub. I hope Sasha’s is still open when I get back.
There was a marketplace up ahead, but didn’t look like any security guards or police, just a bunch of people dressed up in like medieval costumes. Down the next street there was another courtyard with shops but no market stalls, wait what’s that in the window?!
Oh-my-god shoes! Thankyou-thankyou-thankyou.