What are we here for? I have asked this question over what has felt like eons.
I once asked this of the person who became my father in every way but blood. His response has not been far from my mind since. Perhaps it was the person who made this instance imbed into my memory.
“Roland,” Dan said, eyes softening in his round face as he gestured with his cleft chin to the sky. “Look up.”
Confusion wrinkled my brow, but I did as asked. Up above were twinkling lights in the broad expanse of infinite silken black.
The galaxies themselves were bright, closer than most could even imagine, the many colors flowing with ribbon qualities amid and between the stars above. That night... it was as if you were looking through the end of a magesphere to see the stars in distinction and color. I have not seen such a beautiful spectacle since.
It had been two years to the day since I escaped from a life that had left me bruised and aching. Two years free of an external cage—but inside? My mind and soul remained broken.
"What do you see?" he asked, leaning his broad girth against the dark grey barn emitting a putrid mix of sweet alfalfa and fetid manure. He curled his hands into the long sleeves of his grey robe of office.
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“Light and darkness,” I replied.
“Indeed,” he said. “Light and dark. Stars sprinkled in the expanse with purpose and precision, in a darkness which holds them in its deep embrace. I oft think we have much in common with the sprinkles of light. Some of us shine as bright as the sun, while others reflect its light. Others yet are smaller, but the colors… unquestionably magnificent. Some are only as important as their relevance to those they are closest to. Others guide weary travelers home to their families. Each has its purpose, as unique as the individual. And without them? The night sky would be a blank abyss.”
I watched him, not quite understanding, but wanting to.
His smile grew, eyes crinkling at the corners, as if he guessed my confusion. “You may never know your purpose this side of The Sixth, my son. We see too little of life from our small perspectives to see the ripples we send across the worlds. But even if you never receive an answer to your question, I hope you always know you have a family who believes in you. We care for you deeply, just as you are.”
Those words would help me through what was to come. I didn’t understand his words then, not entirely, but I guarded them in my heart. It would be many years before I learned what my father was trying to tell me.
The stars are perfectly imperfect, all significant in their own ways, and all shine with a brightness to rival the sun.
All are perfect in their own time and own ways. Important. Relevant. Beautiful.
Life… it doesn't always support our light. Sometimes it places us in the darkest valleys. But yet, it is in the darkest night that the smallest light shines the brightest.
But I must decide for myself. Will I shine in the coming darkness... or hide behind my fear?