Visions flash before my eyes. My brother disappearing over the falls to his death. My father’s look of disappointment mixed with fear.

I fight the visions and the hands that hold me to a hard surface. I yell for my brother to come back. To my father how it wasn’t my fault.

But it follows me, and I’m forced to live the moment again and again through the fever holding me hostage.

~~~

We jogged through the woods that fateful night. Tall trees stood like sentries on the path only my brother and I could see. The silver and black of our vision mixed into a version of blue as the full moon rose higher in the sky.

“Wanna race?” my brother, Alec, asked straight into my mind, causing me to jump from where I was sniffing around a rabbit's burrow. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth in a wolf grin.

I groaned mentally and heard his responding chuckle. “How can you have. So. Much. Energy?” I panted.

We had just gotten through chasing a rabbit through the woods. Tired didn't begin to describe my exhaustion after a day of duties and studying.

“I don’t have the troubles you have, Mr. Work All The Time. You need some fun in your life.” His head tilted as his tongue lolled out even further in a wolf grin as his ears pricked forward.

Excitement made it to where he couldn't stand still, hopping back and forth like a rabbit on Rush. His blue eyes glowed in the moonlight. The only wolf I’d ever seen with blue eyes.

I was personally envious of him. His free time as the second brother with none of the big brother responsibilities, the fun-loving attitude, compassion, and joy for living—what wasn't there to be jealous of?

But I couldn’t deny a chance to stretch my legs. “You’re going down, little kinko.”

If only I had known what that decision would bring... I would've tucked tail and ran so swiftly the night never could have become. But I didn't. So it became the worst night of my life.

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My brother laughed as we took off through the underbrush with the light of the full moon as our only witness.

“Eat my dust!” he said as he craned his head over his shoulder to look at me following close on his tail.

That was his downfall. Something struck through the trees right into Alec as he reached the edge of the falls, and just as he should've been digging in his feet to stop, as we had done ten thousand times, his body didn't seem to obey his commands. He yelped as his body stopped responding. The cliff reached for him with grasping fingers as he scrambled to find purchase before he could fall the many miles down to the watery abyss.

My head throbbed as tingles raced up and down my paws and adrenaline flooded my system. Fear filled my chest as a whimper came from my brother.

“ALEC!” I screamed.

I reached him as his feet left the edge. I reached out and grasped the scruff of his neck in my jaws. We jerked to a stop; I dug my claws into the dirt for purchase.

I scrambled back even as my hold weakened on his fur.

“I love you, Roland.” His blue eyes met mine one last time. The moment almost seemed to last an eternity, his eyes conveying what words could not. His eyes knew what was coming. The understanding in his young gaze was uncanny, almost as if he could see the future and knew this day would come. And they forgave me... even if I could never forgive myself.

Then he... was gone.

A heavy fist clamped around my heart as my brother disappeared into the roaring falls far below, his eyes locked on mine until the mists swallowed him.

I looked both directions, scrambling at the edge of the cliff, seeking a way down, seeking... something. Anything.

There was no path here. I knew that. But I couldn't just give up. A whine stuck in the back of my throat as I paced up and down the cliff side. Rocks slid from beneath my paws, and I almost gave in and jumped on the off chance... but I knew.

I knew... I knew I was too late.

I knew he was gone.

I knew my brother, my best friend, was dead.

I howled as something deep within me broke as my little brother died far beneath me. Something dark seeped from my fur, ribbons of living darkness coalesced and circled me in an ever pressing ball of burning, coiling tentacles. The surrounding trees warped inward, then pressed out with such explosive power that many large splinters of wood imbedded deep into the rocky ground. Scorch marks as long as a dragon streaked from me in every direction, blackening the hard earth and killing anything with a pulse in the area. Trees succumbed to the power, some turning to ash as others exploded from the inside out.

I laid unconscious in a circle of death and ashes.

That was how my father found me. Anger filled his eyes, but it was the fear that made my heart clench. I didn't think my father feared anything. He'd faced down rabid dragons and beasts that made nightmares seem tame. But he was scared of me. I was gone from his life the very next week.