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Chapter 31, Homecoming

The house is more depressing than I remember. There are no little foot patters. No screams of indignation from the two brothers when I would often climb the large indoor poles to get away from the two.

The few tapestries left are patched with a loving hand from where they were slit and torn by the jingoist. Once magnificent rugs have holes in them and slashes that look to be made by sword. The grand piano in the center of the room now glowers like a monolith in the dark, silent of the melodies of hope and joy that used to come unbidden to little fingers.

Stains of darkness are on the floor. The stale tang of metallic blood rises from the stains with sharp acids and cleaners used to try to remove them and the faint, barely there scents of salty tears and clove-like sorrow. I shove back the growing horror in my soul to a vault until I can deal with it later.

“What happened?” I ask as I become more and more aware. The grand couches that used to ring the living area are gone. The marble statue of a knight that was situated beside the painting of a castle is no longer there, just a ring of discolorment from where he once stood proud.

She swipes another tear; her grin dims. “They taxed us heavily. I’m surprised they let us keep the manor, but as is, they about bankrupted us for harboring you. As if taking the young ones and their mother wasn’t enough.” She speaks the last with such venom I’m tempted to hide. Just metaphorically, of course. I’d never be afraid of this little old woman.

She leans closer, her voice low. "The master was saved only because someone in the capitol with the emperor's ear vouched for him on the agony of worse than death should something else be true."

Who in the capitol has such clout? I think to myself.

Dan is well connected and quite devious. I heartily approve.

I ignore Cynic, my mind running through what I know of Pa. He is the fifth son of a duke, his grandfather... his grandfather is the cousin of the emperor. Would a cousin change the mind of an insane king? If he has something on the emperor to blackmail, then possibly.

Politics gets deadly at such a high level. I'm highly surprised Pa's grandfather has lived so long. Must have some sort of fae or Other in his blood, which makes sense in more ways than one. The emperor has reigned for a very long time, and his seat is well established.

But with enough manpower, anything can be moved.

Miss June leads me to the study. Again, a place with untold memories. But I’m shocked when she opens the door. To say it’s not as I remember would be an understatement.

The books that once held down the large mahogany bookshelves are gone, leaving the shelves to look bereft and lacking. A few papers flutter on the shelves at our entrance. Pa... his change strikes my heart, making my breath catch in my throat.

“He’s returned, sir,” Miss June says with a curtsy.

The one who brought me from my shell and helped me see good in life again, looks up from behind his desk, his eyes devoid of emotion. His skin is a pasty white with large black circles under his sunken gaze. He's lost weight and is but a shell of his slightly portly and highly enigmatic self. If not for the blink of his eyes and the raise of his eyebrows, I would call him a walking skeleton. He still has a double chin and large eyebrows... and his nose is still a bit too big for his round face.

But he... he is not the man I remember. These weeks or months have taken something from him, and it crushes my heart to know it’s because of me.

His eyes are dim, and his once round face is gaunt and pale.

What has happened since I last saw him?

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There’s a stain on the rug that still stinks of stale sickly sweet urine from months past when Barry caught a frog and put it in his pocket. The thing squirted Barry when he took it out to proudly show his father, and he dropped it. What ensued was a fight to catch the critter and ended up with all of us in a dog pile and the little frog hopping to the door.

Miss June whacked the frog with a broom, causing it to croak and pee... again. She picked it up without hesitation and plopped it back in Barry’s hands; the boy had grinned innocently at the housekeeper. She gave him a wink and a candy she always kept in her apron for the children as his mother berated him.

I draw my eyes up from the stain back to Pa.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks, his face blank.

“I... sir...” now that I’m before him, I want to twiddle my thumbs and paw the light grey rug with my toe. It feels odd facing the one who helped me the most and all I gave him in return was pain.

A broad grin crosses his face and he comes around the desk with a spryness at odds with his appearance.

He hugs me tightly, and the salty brine of tears meets my nose.

I hug him back, my wolf and my human side taking comfort in one we trust. In the acceptance of our Alpha.

He pulls back, smiling so broadly his eyes almost disappear. “My son has finally come home.”

The words break the dam I’d placed around my heart; the wall I’d erected just in case he blamed me as much as I blame myself.

But Dan is better than that.

I kiss his forehead in a Shifter sign of respect and affection, pulling back and feeling my eyes tingle. “I’ve come home, Pa.”

He laughs through his tears. “Come, sit. Tell me what has come and what will be.”

I sit in the chair where the stale scent of Barry and Jed lingers, and where love and respect grew within me for this family.

“I have Barry and Jed. Both are free, safe.”

He sags in his chair, his eyes going up into the back of his head.

I catch his shoulders before he slips from the chair, and I ease him back, concerned at the bony feel of his arms beneath my hands.

He comes back to in a mere moment, gasping out a breath and bringing up both hands to rest them on my arms, clenching my forearms in a white-knuckled grip.

“W-what's happened?” he asks, looking around wildly with unfocused eyes.

“Pa, it’s alright. It’s me, Roland.” Something squeezes my heart when I see the confusion in his eyes. But they clear up, and his eyes widen.

“Dear me, boy. Of course it’s you! It’s true? All my boys are safe and sound?” I nod, happiness pulling at my heart. “Never doubted for a moment you would bring them back or die trying.”

I give him a smile, thinking how well he knows me. I shrug. “It’s true. I would never give up on my family.”

He blinks back more tears. He places a hand on my shoulder. “You always were a good kid, Roland. You only needed someone to believe in you to see it.” He sits up and nods for me to release him. I ease back down into my chair as he grabs a handkerchief from the table, wiping his eyes.

I watch him closely, but he seems alright.

“Quit watching me as if I shall croak. I’m not that old. Yet,” he says with a wink.

I grin. “Don't all the old geezers say that?”

He wheezes out a laugh and slaps his knee. “I sure have missed you, Roland. You have something now. Something is different. You seem... whole. Joyful.”

I look down at the ground, then out at the vast fields of withered brown produce out the balcony windows of my father’s office. “The Allfather found me, Pa. I’m free.”

I look back over to see him watching me with such love and happiness shining in his eyes that it brings to mind the old Dan, the one who reminded me of who I am and what humanity could be.

He holds out a hand, and I grip his forearm. His eyes crinkle in a gentle smile. “Welcome, my son, to a broader and better family than I could ever give you.”

A lump forms in my throat. I nod, unable to speak.

He pulls back. “Tell me, what of my heart?”

I pause. “Ma is alright, but she stayed with the princess in the castle for now. I will return for both of them when I’m able.”

He sighs, looking out the windows and leaning back in the chair to steeple his fingers over his chest. “That woman will be the death of me. But such is life. Now tell me, how are you?”

He looks over, eyes scraping me from head to toe, and his eyes narrow at something he sees. "It was dreadful," he finally says when I don't respond.

I hesitate, flicking my eyes around and unable to meet his straightforward gaze.

His eyes narrow. “What happened?”

A bubble of something longing and childish comes from deep in my chest and almost overwhelms me. I want to blubber out my feelings like a child.

But I push the vulnerable and broken boy, who still longs for my birth father who never had time for me, back into a hole. My sire never stood for me. And now he's gone and so he never will.

I avoid his piercing gaze. “I... I don’t...”

From the corner of my eye, I see Pa exchange a glance with Miss June, who nods.

She squeezes my shoulder and gives me a hard candy. I accept it with a little smile and squeeze her hand. Her smile is soft and sweet as she backs out the door, closing it behind her.