CHAPTER 28 - POTATO VS TOMATO - THE EPIC SHOWDOWN

‘An artificial being.’ The tomato said condescendingly, crawling out of its human body. ‘That’s what they call me. Isn’t that quite harsh?’

I was stunned. So stunned, that I dropped to the floor and instinctively backed away.

‘You know, I used to be a human. Quite a proud one, in fact. I was happy as a highwayman. Happy I was able to spend time with my friends and do what I love.’ His tone darknened. ‘And then what? These magic stones came along.’

I felt his pain.

‘It corrupted my Lando first. He, who had his wish granted, set on the path to become the bandit king, turned us into his slaves and experimented on us in an attempt to progress through the path system. Since a breakthrough was rewarded immensely, he used his skills in every way that he shouldn’t have. And eventually, a breakthrough did occur. Me. Even when he saw me as a tomato, he only rejoiced at the few new levels he’d gained.’ The tomato had now fully emerged, and stood tall on the sprawling vines connected to its tip.

He didn’t seem like he wanted to fight.

‘Then why?’ I asked softly. ‘Why are you doing this? Is this what highwaymen do? Kidnap people? Force them to live here in hopes of them becoming Gifted?’

It stopped. ‘How do you know about that?’

‘I may be a little on the slow side, but I’m not stupid. I saw the failed experiments. The runestones you tried to make to replicate the magic stone. The one you pressed against me. Wasn’t it another one of those failures? I saw the markings, clear as day. Runestones don’t need inscriptions. They only need one point of contact, one little hole to be filled with xera.’

I had picked this up when I was a young child, back when I was still into magic. Unfortunately, that was the extent of my knowledge.

‘Do I look like I have anywhere to go?’ It hissed angrily. ‘I put that metal body together with the countless years I spent on mastering metal magic, piece by piece, in the hopes of being human again. Hell, I even skinned people and molded them together so I could look like a person. Do you think anyone can see past that?’ He slumped to the floor, defeated.

A month ago, I would have agreed with him. But after meeting Kearan and the Haven guild, learning what they’d been through and how they’d overcome it, my perspective had changed.

‘The longer I stayed in that body, the crazier I grew. Soon enough. I was roped into those drugs which gave me a feeling. Which made me feel alive. We are the high highwaymen for a reason, you know.’

‘Then stop.’ I pressed forward. ‘Come with us. We could use someone with your abilities.’ Actually, I didn’t actually know whether or not that was the case. But right now, I really didn’t want to fight. Mutation was still on cooldown.

His vines grew longer and thicker, causing him to tower over me. Damn, I had wanted to do that.

‘You know, I just remembered why I became a bandit in the first place.’ He said clearly and coldly, all trace of the tomato that was at its limits gone. ‘It’s because the thing I hate more than anything in the world is when I see the rich and the people with power hand out charity and look down on us.’

I did not like where this was going.

‘I just want to take away everything they love, everything that makes them strong, and watch them suffer. And that’s what I’m going to do to you.’

His vines darted forward, entangling my body and stopping my movements. Like an octopus, his actual tomato body followed soon after.

‘Wait!’ I shouted as the vines slowly constricted around me, beginning to block out my vision.

‘Wait for what? I’ve made up my mind. I, Elric Hanson, am going to kill you today in the most painful way possible.’

Well, I tried to reason with him and that hadn’t worked out. It was time to do things the hard way. And luckily, potato body was now off cooldown.

‘Potato body.’

The feeling of itchiness and pain filled my body, accompanied by a soreness one would feel when they went through puberty. Except this soreness was multiplied by a thousand fold. Damn, wasn’t this supposed to get easier?

By the time I had regained my sense of awareness, the tomato had already wrapped his vines around my limbs and slammed me against the wall. I didn’t bleed, but I could feel pain in this body. And it hurt like hell.

‘A skill? Of course you have a skill that allows you to transform into a human. I know your core is in there somewhere, though, and I’m going to have real fun digging it out.’ The tomato’s steel human body rose up from where it lay like some kind of zombie.

“Get… off of me!” I shouted, and slowly managed to break out of the vine prison. This body was insanely strong.

‘I’m not done with you yet.’ He said angrily, and a singular vine shot out at point blank range, straight for my face.

Boom!

The wall behind me cracked and a warm liquid trickled down my cheek. It wasn’t blood, but part of the regeneration process to repair my skin. I had barely evaded that attack.

The tomato, on the other hand, seemed even angrier than before. ‘Even regeneration abilities. You are the exact definition of a person I want to rip to shreds.’

With a loud crack, the tomato’s human body split into thousands of spiked metal javelins that hovered in the air.

‘I wonder… just how much can you regenerate? Will you regrow a leg if I chop it off?’

One of the spikes zipped forward and pierced straight into my thigh, pinning me to the ground. I let out a blood curdling scream and clutched my leg in agony. Maybe feeling pain was not such a good thing.

“S-status.” I managed to blurt out.

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Winston June

Title: L’Der Potato (Stage 2)

Race: Ascended Potato

Path: Path to Potato Godhood

Faith: 108

Xera: 200/200

Path Skills:

* [Divine Being] (Passive) {Maxed}

* [Xera Transfer] (Active) {3/10}

* [Potato God’s Eye] (Passive) {Maxed}

L’Der Skills:

* [Set Quest] (Active) {N/A}

Race Skills:

* [Germinate] (Active) {7/30}

* [Potato Battery] (Passive) {8/40}

* [Potato Body] (Active) {1/20}

* [Hull] (Active) {1/10}

Misc. Skills:

* [Mind Speech] (Active) {14/20}

* [Not So Weak Telekinesis] (Active) {3/5}

* [Perceive Domain] (Passive) {1/35}

* [Mutation] (Active) {1/15}

[20 Skill Points Available]

[2 Instant Evolution Available]

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‘What did you say?’ It asked.

I ignored him and instead focused on the skill I’d forgotten the name of. On my way here, I’d already taken a look at my status page and determined which skills would actually be useful in a fight- even though I wasn’t supposed to get into one. It didn’t hurt to be prepared.

During that time, I’d noticed a skill that I’d earned a while back, but never tested due to the crazy shenanigans that happened. A skill called ‘hull’.

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Hull

Lvl: 1/40

Category: Race

Type: Active

Xera Cost: 200

Creates a protective layer around the user’s body. This is made out of hardened potato roots which will sprout from within your body. This skill will also activate while {Potato Body} is active. This skill will deactivate once 60% of the roots armour has been removed. It can also be automatically removed by deactivating this skill. The root armour will not regenerate. Upon reaching the required level, this skill will evolve.

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‘Hull.’

For the third time that day, a searing pain shot through my body and my skin bubbled, like it was turning inside out. The roots surrounding my bones and holding my body together broke the surface, encasing every inch of my skin. A few holes were left for my eyes, mouth and nose. But apart from that, a layer of root armour covered my body. The metal spike that pierced through my leg had been broken off and completely healed by my regeneration.

‘Ah, of course you have more damn tricks up your sleeve.’ Elric said, annoyed. He’d backed up a few paces as soon as the roots had begun to grow.

Before I could even get to my feet, the metal javelins, still hovering in the air, all discharged at once, straight for me. The only thing I could do was raise my arms to protect my head. Not that it would help much.

Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham!

When the dust cleared, I was still alive. My root armour was slightly chipped, but apart from that- and a few javelins that’d somehow managed to embed themselves in the thrush of roots here and there.

Elric hissed and the spikes flew up from where they lay, ready for another attack.

“Oh no you don’t.” I pulled out one of the spikes and clambered to my feet. It, too, flew out of my grasp and into an attacking position.

Now weaponless, I grabbed the nearest non-metal object I could find.

One of the desk legs that had snapped off in an attack.

Whatever. It would do.

Elric, who was now standing behind the wall of javelins, flicked a vine. In that moment, I hefted up the actual table with one hand to block the barrage.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Now! As smoothly as an assassin himself, I vaulted the table and darted towards the tomato.

I was fast, much faster than I’d ever been in my life. Much faster than a normal human could possibly be.

But he was faster.

No longer having a heavy steel body to carry, Elric’s speed had doubled- if not tripled. The vines moved fluidly and efficiently, sliding into the little crevices of the walls and pulling him along with them.

Was he a spider or a tomato?

He now hung above me, at least a metre out of my reach.

“I said get down here!”

I bent my knees and just jumped. Surprisingly, I actually managed to reach him.

However, he was still too fast. In less than a second, he’d swung to the opposite corner of the room. Some of the spikes had already begun to fly again.

This was not good. Unlike last time, I had no definite way of ending this. I only had my body, my root armour and… my telekinesis.

[Not So Weak Telekinesis has leveled up!]

[Not So Weak Telekinesis has a path choice available.]

Speak of the devil. But this was different from last time. It wasn’t just a skill evolution.

[Two path options available; {Strong Telekinesis} and {Potato God’s Hand}.]

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Strong Telekinesis

Lvl: 1/15

Category: Miscellaneous

Type: Passive

Buffs: Physical Strength

Enables the user to perform limited telekinesis. Telekinesis strength is partly based on the amount of intention. As skill level rises, the strength of telekinesis rises. Telekinesis strength will greatly increase from {Not So Weak Telekinesis}. Upon reaching the required level, the skill will evolve.

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God’s Hand

Lvl: Maxed

Category: Path

Type: Active

Xera Consumption: None

Debuffs: Mental Fatigue

Enables the user to perform unlimited telekinesis. Telekinesis strength is no longer based on intention. Telekinesis can only be used as a materialized ‘hand’ which will act as the force and basis to move objects. Size and strength of telekinesis is based on willpower. The more willpower used, the more mental fatigue the user will experience.

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“Does it look like I have time for this?” I shouted, narrowly dodging a flying spike that was intent on taking out my testicles.

‘Still able to talk? Maybe this is too easy for you. Should we get serious now?’

This guy wasn’t even being serious?

His body lurched, and the vines curled up into a ball around him. I didn’t have time to worry about him. Those damn javelins were still coming at me with full power.

“A.S.S., read out the skill information for both skills!” After a moment’s silence, I shouted out another word. “Please!”

A javelin whizzed past my head so fast that it lodged straight into the wall, unable to free itself.

[Telekinesis strength is partly based on the amount of…]

While I listened to the system, I activated slow motion and was able to, with further assistance from telekinesis, slow down a javelin to the point where I was able to catch it. Easily. The force didn’t even wrench my arm back, like swinging a sword would have done in my past life. This body was crazy, crazy strong.

I turned around, javelin in hand- which was still writhing around, trying to stab me in the eye- and thrust it into the wall, next to the other one.

It sunk in like a knife through hot butter. This was partly because of how sharp the spike was, and also partly because of my superhuman strength. Maybe becoming a potato god wasn’t so bad after all. ‘Potato Body’ was my second overpowered skill, ‘Potato Battery’ being my first.

Finally, A.S.S. had finished reading the skill information. To be honest, from the moment I heard the names of the skills, I already knew which one I wanted.

“God’s Hand.”

I immediately felt a change in the air. When three javelins hovered off the floor and faced me, I didn’t move. Instead, I stared them down. No longer did I need to imagine them stopping. I could feel an invisible hand in the air. A hand that’s strength that was determined by simply how strong I could imagine myself to be.

With this hand, I grabbed the javelins before they could move and crushed them into a disfigured lump.

God’s hand had no limits.

‘Hey… Just what do you think you’re doing?’

Ah, right. Elric still existed.

The vines writhed and contorted around his body. They had taken on a purple shade, and lashed out at the walls hungrily, cracking the stone. Elric himself had changed from the bright red to a pus-like yellow.

Was it just me, or did they look like they were harming him?

Without warning, he sprung towards me like an enraged monster. I swiped my hand to the side, intending to send the crazed bundle flying. But of course, nothing ever goes my way, does it?

Elric’s tomato body was torn away from the vines and splattered against the wall, leaving a dribbling red stain. I didn’t know whether he was alive or dead.

The vines, on the other hand- pardon the pun, phased straight through my invisible hand like it wasn’t even there.

I blinked, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

And then they were on me.

Like an infection or a crazed animal, they attached themselves to my body and slithered through the cracks in my root armour. Pulsing with purple power, they grew and grew as I staggered backwards, tripping on a metal spike.

It was only when I felt the feeling begin to drain out of my body and my consciousness receding that I realised the vines were sapping my energy.

[Warning: Insufficient xera. Potato Body cannot be maintained.]

Oh dear, this was bad.

My xera regeneration was working against me.

The vines grew at an impossibly fast rate and were now starting to crush my limbs. I tried tearing them off, but they simply latched back on as soon as I stopped pulling. The more time passed, the faster they stuck, and the weaker I became.

‘Must… get… out…’ I muttered and scrambled around, searching for anything that I could use to push

My hands landed on the metal spike I had tripped over moments ago. Thankfully, it lay still.

“Aaargh!” I screamed, and with the rest of my remaining energy, I plunged the javelin into my chest.

Splurch.

The world turned dark for a moment as my potato body and human body came out of sync. I barely managed to stay conscious as I watched my xera bar shoot back up to two hundred. The vines had permanently fused to my human body now, stopping it from disintegrating like it normally would. They pulsed happily and no longer lashed out.

My heart was still pounding, even though I no longer had a human body.

That had been too close.

Way too close.

Slowly, I pushed off the body and vines and lifted myself upwards, surveying the damage.

The cave was completely in ruins, and several large fissures had formed all the way up the walls. It could probably collapse at any moment. Broken and battered, the furniture lay scattered around, never to be used again. Vines still hung from the ceiling, some tattered at the edges. Their leaves were yellow and their stalks a dead brown. A large ball of rotting mush and a red stain on the wall was all that was left of Elric.

He was dead, and I had killed him.

The realization came like a punch to the gut.

I felt a little sad and a little shocked, but not guilty. He had tried to kill me first.

Still dazed, I searched the ruins for the cell key. The quest window, though minimised, remained in the corner of my vision, reminding me of my task.

‘Where is it.. Where is it…’ I muttered, flipping the debris with ‘God’s hand’.

A minute later, I chanced upon the key, wedged into a crack in the wall.

With it in hand, I quickly crawled through the tunnel I’d created with ‘xera funnel’ to the hallway.

‘Edith? Jay?’ I called as I rolled to their cell. I was much too drained to even consider flying.

A woman with long green hair and eyes greeted me. “June? You’re alive? How did you survive the ‘life drain’ vines?”

‘The uhh, what?’ I replied, confused. I spied the crumpled figures of Edith and Jay in the corner. Raul tended to them, along with a girl with grey hair I assumed was Lena.

“Never mind that. I’m Fern. Jay and Edith are ok, if you’re wondering. Their xera circuits are just leaking ever so slightly. Give them another few hours and they’ll be like it never happened.” She said hurriedly.

I had no choice but to trust her. A switch inside me flicked on, like the words ‘xera circuit’ meant something to me, but I pushed it away. I was simply too tired.

‘Alright. I’ll trust you on this one. Can you carry them out of here after I-’

“A-ahem. Just what do you think you’re doing?” A familiar voice said from behind me.

I froze and prayed, prayed, prayed that the person wasn’t who I thought it was and turned around slowly.

Striking red shoes and an untamed orange beard stared down at me.

One thought came to mind.

Fuck.