CHAPTER 12 - PLEASE! I’M NOT NUTRITIOUS- OH WAIT, I AM

The rumbling became louder as it got closer and closer. Without a second’s hesitation, Winter unsheathed her rapier, its blade so clean you could see your reflection in it. The other party members had drawn out their weapons too, and looked ready for battle.

The hoarde of boars came into view like a wave. There were at least two dozen of them, all angry, charging and radiating murderous intent. Each of them stood five feet tall, rippling muscles easily seen through their silky black hides. A large, grey horn with swirly patterns was accompanied by an additional two wickedly curved tusks by the side of their mouths, ready to tear apart flesh and bone alike.

Meanwhile, I was safely snuggled into Winter and Verity’s horse saddle, enjoying the view. The horses had refused to stop neighing and trying to run away, no matter how many times Verity tried to calm them. Eventually, she strung all their reigns together and tied them around a tree to stop them from running off.

“Verity!” Edith called. “You’re going to miss out!”

From my safe spot, I watched as the rest of the squad moved forward into a simple line formation. Edith was in the middle, obviously to attract the boars’ attention. While this was happening, the other close-combat fighters spread out to surround them. From three sides.

With just six people, they’d have a lot of space to cover.

Actually, make that five. Kearan was nowhere in sight.

Verity was the only one that hung back. She stayed a few paces away from the actual fight, bow in hand, an arrow nocked, ready to fire at will.

Their fighting method was strange, to say the least. It wasn’t efficient, although it was relatively safe. But apart from that, I felt like something crucial was missing.

I quickly recalled my past experiences watching people fight monsters- which hadn’t been that many. I’d been to Oblivion a few times when I was a child, accompanied by practically half the royal army. When the kingdom still had the resources to spare, monster hunting had almost been an official sport. But that was when my great-grandfather was king.

Heh. I’d never be able to say this out loud if I was the baron, but since I was now a potato, it didn’t really matter.

My grandfather was an idiot. A fool. Incompetent. Incapable of running a kingdom.

Not that it mattered at this moment.

What did matter, was that I finally realised what the squad was missing.

A mage.

Though wizards and mages were rare, they were vital in any sort of battle instance. If this party didn’t have a mage, healer or at least something that could take down more than one enemy at once, what would happen if we were to become outnumbered? It would mean certain death. Also, weren’t they able to use magic?

‘Verity?’ I asked, since she was the only person near enough to communicate in the limited range of mind speech. “Why is there no healer or mage in the party?”

She replied without taking her eyes off the fight. “Winter doubles as an official cleric. We can all use magic for combat, too. But since it’s just a few wild boars, we don’t need her to heal.”

Just a few boars? This wasn’t ‘just a few boars’. It took half a dozen highly trained warriors to take down a single boar in this kind of combat. How insanely strong were these guys?

Now that I looked at it in that way, their formation kind of made sense. They didn’t seem to be struggling at all, and constantly allowed the line to break apart.

Instead of a seven on twenty-something, it seemed like seven individuals each taking on three boars each. I didn’t know whether this was a chemistry problem between them, or they were just so damn overwhelming confident they could deal with the monsters themselves.

But nonetheless, slowly, before I even realised it, the boars had begun to retreat. As they watched their siblings fall around them, the squeals of pain and anger turned into squeals of fear. At first it was just one that sprinted off, only to be almost instantly pierced through the head by a black-feathered arrow.

"Aw, come on, Verity! Don’t ruin the fun!” Raul called out, intentionally allowing one to run only so he could chase after it gleefully. That was slightly sadistic.

“Alright.” Verity replied gruffly, then quickly leaned her bow and quiver against the base of the tree. “I may as well train a little since we’re here.”

I saw a grin light up her face as she dashed forward into the midst of the fight, weaponless.

‘You people are crazy…’ I muttered. But she was already too far away to hear me.

What a bunch of violent people. Killing and fighting was fun? Obviously they hadn’t tried gambling.

But still, it was kind of exciting watching them fight. I wouldn’t describe their movements as fluid, but they definitely had an uncanny efficiency and accuracy. The thing that set them apart from others the most, though, was the beaming smiles on their bloodstained faces. How they egged each other on through teasing, how they playfully challenged each other, how they trusted each other enough to do something as having fun in a situation as dangerous as this.

I couldn’t help it.

Smiles were contagious, after all, and soon I found myself brimming with positivity too.

Grunt. Snort. Sniff. Sniff.

Ah. The pleasures of youth. How I wished to-

Grunt. Snort. Grunt.

I froze. There was something behind me, and it was close. Very close.

Shit.

I’d been too busy focusing on the others’ fight that I’d forgotten to keep watch. Kearan had been right. Monsters were behind every corner.

Now that I was fully aware once again, I wondered how I hadn’t noticed the shift in the horses desperate stamping and wild behaviour. They were tugging furiously at their ropes now.

My attackers were three horned boars, an evil red glow in each of their eyes. They were less than ten metres away, and just inside my area of awareness. Compared to the ones the others were fighting, these couldn’t have been more than children.

But the fact remained. In my human state, I wouldn’t’ve been able to take down a single one, let alone three. In my reduced form as a potato, well, let’s just say that the chances of surviving had significantly decreased further.

However, I forced myself to calm down and think rationally.

I wasn’t human, so they definitely didn’t think I was a threat, meaning they should have had no aggro towards me. So why did they come back here? There had to be something they wanted.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

There was only me, the supplies, and the horses. The supplies? The horses? If we lost them, we would be in serious trouble. Speaking of which, each of the boar's horns were long enough to be a spearhead, and would easily pierce through the horse's flesh.

No horses meant no more travel.

No more travel meant we were stuck here until someone rescued us.

‘Think, June, think.’

They had no reason to attack the horses anyways, right? It wasn’t like they ate horse meat. Everyone knew that boars were vegetarian and ate potatoes.

Boars ate potatoes.

And I was on a horse with a full saddle bag of freshly grown potatoes produced by yours truly.

Shit.

Oh, yeah. And I myself was also a potato.

Double shit.

Ding!

[Generating new quest…]

[You have received a new quest!]

___________________________________________

Path Quest

Save The Horses!

People are counting on you. Protect your only means of transportation in a harsh world.

Kill boars: 0/3

Alternative completion: Separate the horses and boars by any means necessary.

Rewards: Progression to next stage of Path

Penalty: Isn’t this self-explanatory?

___________________________________________

An alarm in my head rang. Thinking time was over. A low, guttural sound emerged from the boar closest to me, and I squealed. The old me would have run away as far as my non-existent legs could carry me.

But this time, the stakes were higher. Lives were at stake. People were depending on me. Also, now I had a new path quest, which was the first in a week.

‘You want the potatoes?’ I called out, trying to sound brave. Using telekinesis, I lifted the flap of the saddle bag and drew out the small sack of potatoes.

[Super Weak Telekinesis has leveled up! 5/5]

[Super Weak Telekinesis has evolved into Weak Telekinesis.]

Not the right time, A.S.S.

I grunted, and with as much force as I could muster, I flung the bag as far behind the boars as possible. I figured if potatoes were the only thing the boars were looking for, they would chase after them. The further away they were from the horses and supplies, the better.

Sniff. Sniff.

‘Yes… yes… Go after them…’ I encouraged them.

The two behind turned around in curiosity, but the one in front seemed dead set. On me. We locked eyes, and I could feel its overpowering hunger. It wanted me. It wanted me badly.

You know what I mean.

It pawed the ground and licked its lips in anticipation, ready to charge.

I gulped.

This was do or die.

And if I was doomed to die, I didn’t want to doom Kearan and the squad as well.

‘Dieee!’ I called without thinking as I used telekinesis to fling myself off the horse’s back. For a moment, I glided over the astounded boars and smiled. I was flying.

Whoomp.

Nevermind, I was just falling.

‘AHHH!’ I screamed in terror as the ground rushed up to meet me.

Thankfully, the grass was soft and broke most of my fall. The fact that I didn’t feel pain helped.

Now there was one problem. The hungry boars. In what world would I have the power to deal with them? They were probably slobbering over me and my other fallen e-potatoes by now.

Neigh!

I hoped the afterlife would have a deceased counselor. I’d probably have severe trauma after so many close-to-death experiences.

Neigh! Neigh!

I sighed. Couldn’t I at least have some peace before my death? Why did the horses have to be so loud and annoying? It’s not like they were going to die or anything-

Wait. Why hadn’t the boars eaten me yet?

I bolted upright and scanned the long grass for any sign of them.

None. The sack of potatoes lay to my right, but the boars were nowhere to be found.

I couldn’t understand. Weren’t they supposed to come after me? Weren’t they hungry?

Unless… the horses were their target after all. It made sense, after all. Normal boars ate potatoes. These were not normal boars by any means.

Shit. I had to stop them, somehow.

But as I tried to hover slightly, my vision swam and a dizzy feeling forced me to lose concentration. Was this a side effect of overusing telekinesis? The skill description had said it used mental power, after all.

I groaned and forced myself to crawl over to the e-potatoes. The horses were still neighing in terror. Where was Kearan? Where was Jay? How come no one had heard them yet?

At the very least, this was a sign that they were still alive.

Once I made my way on top of the pile of potatoes, I was able to see over the grass, and my fears were confirmed. The boars circled the horses, barely being held back by their flicking of hooves.

‘Hey!’ I shouted desperately, trying to attract the boars’ attention. ‘Over here!’

They either ignored me, or mind speech didn’t work, because they continued prodding the horses.

I quickly ran through the options in my head. I could run, but we’d lose the horses. I had no strength left to launch myself again, and I doubted that I’d be able to take the boars on without anyone's help. I needed a weapon, or at least something that could pierce through the boars’ thick hide. Or even better, something that could take them all down at once. Like an explosion of some sort.

Then it dawned on me.

I remembered glimpsing something in one of my skill descriptions about an explosion… Potato battery! If I overloaded myself with xera, I could self-destruct. It was a plan. A horrible, un-thought-out, probably-suicidal plan, but still, a plan nonetheless.

Firstly though, I had to get the boars’ attention. I could see the horses were beginning to tire out. Thankfully, I had a few potato-shaped projectiles on hand.

‘Have a taste of this!’ I shouted as I flung one of the e-potatoes at the closest boar.

A direct hit!

The e-potato smacked the boar right in the face, confusing it for a moment. It looked around suspiciously, only to receive another flying potato, which this time landed directly on the tip of its horn. The speared potato hung on for dear life, and refused to budge even when the boar shook its head around.

Smack.

Flying potato after flying potato came out of the grass, raining down on the three boars like a hellstorm. They grunted in annoyance and frustration, looking for the source. Their eyes landed on a small patch of grass where I resided.

I gulped again.

This time, it was really do or die.

Sniff. Snort?

Leaving the horses alone, the three circled me and the bag I sat atop of curiously.

‘Alright.’ I mentally took a deep breath and prepared myself. ‘AHHHH!’

Nothing happened.

Wasn’t I supposed to explode?

‘AHHH!’ I screamed even louder, this time losing balance and toppling over the pile of e-potatoes.

Still, nothing happened.

And then I realised the one fatal flaw in my plan. I didn’t actually know how to self-destruct, let alone ‘overload’ my xera. Why didn’t this system come with a manual?

The boars didn’t answer my question. They simply came closer and licked me with their hairy tongues. Disgusting.

I watched in horror as massive tusks slid past me, and an ugly head reared back its jaws and lips. I felt the heat of its breath and could see the slimy pink inside of its mouth. My final resting place.

‘Well, looks like this is the end.’

But I wasn’t ready to die. A thought in the back of my mind screamed for someone to save me. My father. Kearan. Jay. Edith. Anyone. My insentient potatoes, even.

‘HELP-’

BOOM!

Then everything went dark.