“Being part of Slime Nobility would open a lot of doors for us, Sean.” Gel said in what the slime probably felt was a very reasonable tone.

“Would it?” The gelaton replied absently, only half-listening.

“Well, either the doors would open… or we’d melt our way through them.” The slime pointed out. “Either way we’re getting in.”

Sean didn’t respond, instead he remained silent for a moment as he re-read the first of their last two evolution options.

Evolution: Nobleouze

Tier: 3

Rarity: Whispered

Description: While considered the lowest possible rung amongst the royal slime lineages, the nobleouze is nonetheless a noticeably distinct intellectual step above its gelatinous brethren. Marked by a small, multi-hued crown that perpetually rests at the top of their mass, these slimes consume everything in their path with calculated determination. Prideful to a fault and irritated by nothing so much as sheltered prey, the rampage of a nobleouze can only be stopped by fortifications made of mana-hardened materials.

Special Traits: Panomnivore, Digestion Specialist, Noble Slime

Prideful to a fault, eh? Sean’s burning orbs flicked down to the slime in his ribcage that fit that particular description to a T. Second time we’ve seen that trait. Wonder what it does? Not to mention this ‘digestion specialist’ one…?

Panomnivore: Creatures with this trait are capable of digesting a much wider variety of materials and elements than would normally be considered inedible.

Digestion Specialist: Creatures with this trait are capable of digesting anything their stomach acid can break down, eventually.

‘Eventually’, huh? … Fair enough. Figuring he had already looked at two of the three, Sean pulled up the last trait.

Noble Slime: Creatures with this trait are part of the royal slime lineage and gain an inherent measure of command over other slimes. Additional benefits must be discovered.

There it is again. Sean thought, slightly irked by that last sentence. Why does everything in this world have to be discovered first?

It wasn’t an actual complaint. In truth, Sean actually preferred it that way. Much like with cooking, discovery was just part of the process. Musing deeply over this as he walked, the gelaton almost missed his friend’s next words.

“Besides, what’re they going to do about it?” Gel continued, clearly enjoying this potential vision of the future. “What is anyone going to do about it? There’s a reason legends are written about the nobility.”

“Is it because of the crown?” Sean guessed, knowing full well what the slime’s response would be.

“It’s because of the crown! Can you imagine? I’ll bet it looks amazing. The description says it’s even ‘multi-hued’, do you know how many outfits multi-hued goes with? Because I’m betting it’s all of them.”

“I thought you were real big on color coordination.” Sean pointed out. “You spent a whole day lecturing me about how many different types of blue there were and why none of them go with green. Isn’t a multi-hued crown going to be hard to pair with?”

“First of all, I said they don’t go directly with green.” Gel explained with an air of restrained affront. “If you insert a nice, sharp hazel brown in between them, or even a deep mahogany depending on intensity, then a perfect balance can be achieved. It’s about the blending. It’s not that they clash. It’s just that blues and greens are just too similar. They’re not complimentary. Not up against each other like that. Honestly, you can have almost any color serve as a border if you–”

Gel paused mid-sentence, his crimson whip bending to peer an unblinking, suspicious eyeball down at Sean.

“-- you were messing with me, weren’t you.”

“I was.” Sean admitted, with great satisfaction.

“... but you do get why color borders are important, right?”

“I do.” Sean lied.

“... and I would look phenomenal with a crown, regardless of hue.”

“I have no doubt.” Sean replied evenly, pulling up the last of their potential evolutions to review.

Evolution: Doppelganger

Tier: 3

Rarity: Whispered

Description: Masters of disguise and hidden terrors who plague the nightmares of every city guard, doppelgangers are amongst the most deceptive of monsters to walk the land. While these hybrid monsters both come from and can take many forms, those with a slime heritage are exceptionally swift in altering their appearance. A doppelganger shapes its own flesh, muscle, and mana the way a craftsman might clay, becoming its target on a level that might deceive its own family.

Special Traits: Fleshshaper, Skinwalker, Mana Guise

Sean let out a low mental whistle of appreciation as he finished reading the prompt again.

We literally could not have asked for a better pick to get into Dervash with. Sean recalled a book he had once read where the main character had actually gone the doppelganger route, though he couldn’t remember the title off-hand. Everybody Loves Large… something. Melons, maybe? No, that was the name of that island cookbook I found. The one with that paradise cocktail that floated vanilla ice cream inside a half-open melon and paired it with pineapple skewers. Man, that was a good drink.

Realizing he was losing himself in memories unlikely to be of use to their current situation, Sean got himself back on track. They still needed to actually pick an evolution, now that all their options were open. Which meant they still had a few things left to discuss.

“What’s that disguise node you picked up, Gel? You said it will get us in the city, right?”

“Yep!” Gel said brightly, reaching down with his whip to pick up a questionably edible lump that looked vaguely like meat out of the sewer runoff they were walking along now. The slime made curious, almost thoughtful chewing sounds as it rapidly dissolved.

“Okay…” Sean let the silence roll on for a few seconds before following up with the obvious question. “But what does it actually do? You never said.”

“Oh, well it’s like an enhanced version of my mimicry ability.” Gel explained. “It’s called ‘Impersonate’ and it lets me pick someone I’ve eaten and essentially copy their entire appearance over you. The ability explicitly says it has to be over you too, if the target had a skeleton, anyway. Probably because I still can’t eat, and thus cant’ recreate, their skeleton? Not sure. But the description says it was only available to hybrid evolutions.”

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A shiver ran up Sean’s spine at the first half of that description, and he was about to ask something else when Gel beat him to it.

“Downsides are it has to be someone I’ve eaten recently, and it doesn’t exactly have a time limit listed on it, either.” Gel was silent for a second, presumably going over the ability in more detail. “Looks like I could choose any of those three would-be adventurers who attacked us earlier… but not any of the paladins. Not that I’d want to be any of them, mind you.”

“No kidding. We might be able to hide if we pick someone who wasn’t well-known, but a paladin? I’m guessing they’ll have people out looking for them now that they’re uh… ‘missing’.” Sean didn’t say anything about how relieved he was over this particular restriction, even if it limited their current options. Better that than Gel being able to mimic my old body. That would open all kinds of doors I’m not interested in going through at the moment.

“Anything else I should know about it? What’s the mana cost like?”

“Ongoing.” Gel reported promptly. “Two every hour, which shouldn’t be too big of an issue given I regenerate more than that naturally already. It is single-use, though. Once we pick a disguise to impersonate, I can’t make it again.”

“What?” Sean felt like he was mishearing things, which would have been impossible given that the slime was literally speaking into his mind. Still, that didn’t make any sense. Gel recreated his old eyes all the time. “Why not?”

Gel sent back the mental equivalent of a shrug.

“No idea, just says I can’t. I could probably try to use mimicry and get the same effect, but there’s a lot of nuance involved there.” Gel admitted, with the tone of someone answering an unexpected question with an answer that was technically possible but only so long as failure was expected. “Impersonate handles a lot of minor details for me that really simplifies the whole process. A one-time use is a good trade-off for that in my opinion. Ooh, and that means we’ll have to try out new, delicious forms, too! I wonder if I can eat their skin a second time. Technically I made it, so I should be able to, right?”

“... probably.” Sean said, more concerned at the moment with whether this meant he might have to try walking around as a lizardkin at some point. If there aren’t lizard-people conspiracy theorists here already, then there’s about to be. Then again I guess they literally have lizard-people and it doesn’t look like they run everything behind the scenes, so cross that nuttery off the list I guess.

Technically this ability also might mean Sean would have to walk around as a woman, he realized. The idea didn’t bother him, though it did bring to mind the amusing mental image of Gel immediately consuming someone for catcalling them.

Actually, given how he reacted the last time we were called a slur, that might be exactly what he does. Sean shook his head, figuring they would cross that bridge whenever they came to it. For now, they had at least two male options to choose from. They could pick one of those.

“Alright, so we have a way in.” Sean said, thinking ‘aloud’ to his friend as they neared the section of the sewers where they had left Saren behind. They hadn’t brought any food back with them, but the owlen had assured him that wouldn’t be an issue for now so the gelaton wasn’t too worried. Worst case we pick him up something in Dervash and bring it back down here. Or see if he likes cactus.

“Which means all we have left to do… is choose our evolution. Evolutions, potentially.” Sean corrected himself. “Do you want to stay on a hybrid path like we did with Gelaton? Or each pick our own and just keep like we’ve been doing?”

“Hybrid!” Gel said immediately, almost too quickly. Like the slime was afraid Sean might be considering something else. “Whatever we go with, hybrid hasn’t let us down so far– I doubt it ever will.”

“Fair enough, I was thinking the same.” Sean admitted, sensing a feeling of palpable relief emanating from the slime through their bond as he said it. “Which means we’ve got: bonemass, geladin, arsenal chef, mimic, bonemeal, and doppelganger to choose from.”

“Technically, skeletal carriage is also–” Gel began.

“-- not an option.” Sean finished for him with a quick shake of his head. “Not going to be the wheels for your meals, bud. That’s just not happening.”

“Fine, fine.” Gel said with an exaggerated sigh that was clearly for dramatic effect. “Geladin, Arsenal Chef, or Bonemeal would be my top three out of those, with Doppelganger a close fourth place.”

“Doppelganger is fourth place?” Sean asked, incredulously. “I get why Geladin is first, but why is doppelganger last?”

“It’s not last, it’s fourth!” Gel said defensively. “And if you must know it’s because if we’re being silly enough to not pick an option literally named after me again, then the next-best-thing is one that’s based entirely around feeding me in newer, better ways. Bonemeal takes third because of its sheer dedication to consumption, which I can and will always get behind. Not to mention the ability to drift right into someone’s armor and consume them from the inside out.”

Sean would have blinked at that if he still had any eyelids. Well, that paints one hell of a visual now, doesn’t it?

“You still haven’t said why doppelganger only gets an honorable mention.” Sean pointed out.

Gel went unexpectedly quiet for a moment, before finally answering. When he did, the slime’s response startled him.

“I… already deal with enough identity issues.” Gel said, his mental voice barely above a whisper. As if the admittance were one of guilt. “Between the memories of everything we eat and the desires they had in life… keeping all of that separate from who I am is a lot of work. Work I’m not always sure I get right, either. It’s one thing to put a mask on, it’s another to become the mask, you know?”

Sean was silent for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Eventually, he nodded.

“Yeah, I get it. Well, no, I don’t. But I think I do. If that’s how you feel, though… why did you even put it on your list anyway? Last time you picked gelaton for me.”

“Because there is nothing less tasty than weakness, Sean.” Gel said in a tone that the gelaton wasn’t entirely able to pin down as either serious or joking. “And I didn’t pick for you this time because I’m trying to be a more aware friend.”

“I appreciate that. I’m sure it’s also definitely not because there’s so many good options this time.” Sean said, verbally ribbing his rib-bound friend a bit to lighten the mood.

“Definitely not. What about you?”

“Arsenal Chef, Geladin, and then if you were open to non-hybrid options and hated both of those for some insane reason I was going to say Skeletal Commando and Nobleouze would probably be interesting picks.”

“So, two options then!” Gel said brightly, as they rounded the last of the few corners remaining till they arrived. “Which one hits your wobble just right? Be honest.”

“I think you already know which one I’m leaning towards.” Sean said levelly, picking up the pace a little now that they were finally almost there. Back to where they could actually start the evolution, since they would have someone to watch over their body while it went down.

All we’ll need to make sure of then is that we grab a few more of those cactus-things to keep nearby as a food source. Neither Sean nor Gel had forgotten how likely they were to attack any potential prey after an evolution. Saren might be able and willing to watch them while the process was ongoing, but ideally the owlen would be long gone by the time the process actually finished. We don’t have much in the way of extra mass to burn to speed up the process right now, either.

“Yep! I knew we were on the same edible page here.” Gel readily agreed. “I’ll let Feathers know we’re ready once we get back, then we’ll stack some snacks nearby for when we wake up and get ready to be even more awesome than we already are!”

Sean nodded his agreement as he jogged a bit faster now, eager to finally get back to full health. Being so close to death for so long had, in some ways, been more irritating than only having one arm. At least with his mana countdown he could reset the clock. But regaining health?

Not so easy, it turns out.