“That thing has the worst possible timing.” Gel commented as Sean ran, clear frustration overtaking some of the fear in the slime’s tone. “It had to show up now. Now! Just when everything was going right and while all of the gear we need is hanging just out of reach! I hope the next thing it eats tastes like nothing at all. Just bland and uninspiring, with a bit of salt mixed in for good measure.”
“The next thing it eats might be us, Gel.” Sean reminded his friend, before sparing a glance up at the ceiling. He was afraid to see that their gear might have fallen when the creature arrived, but was relieved to confirm that the large pack was in fact still rooted in place.
Far, far out of reach, but still there. Alright. Sean thought, booking it as fast as his bone legs could go over the cavern’s spongy terrain. I can work with this.
“It better not be us, I’ve still got all these mushrooms to eat!” Gel exclaimed, even as he whipped his arm out and grabbed a large, singed one that had been knocked over by the earlier explosion. The slime mimicked a chewing sound as they moved. “Mmmph. Mmm. Now, what’s the plan? You always have one.”
“Climb the queen. Have you de-shroom her and wake her up. Pray she’s not mad at us.” Sean said quickly, leaping over a slumped mycelium pipeline. “Pray really hard she’s not mad at us.”
“I like that plan. Could do with less praying and more me being amazing, but I’ll take it.” Gel said brightly.
Sean leapt over another bit of taller piping, or at least, he tried to. With the rock skin potion still in effect he couldn’t leap very high so it was more of a ‘barrel through’. There came another crumbling sound from above, and the slime warrior’s non-existent stomach fell. It was followed by the all-too-familiar clattering of chitinous carapaces butting up against one another. Sean looked behind them, already sure of what he would see. To his dismay, he was right.
The hulking undead had not come down alone. First one, then four, then dozens of ants poured through the widening hole in the ceiling the creature had made. They landed with a sickening crunch despite the spongy shroom floor, and many workers, soldiers, and even a few shooter ants died on impact, their bodies erupting into spraying fluids. Sean couldn’t help but notice that all of these ants were still enslaved, and wondered if the slave shroom’s final command had been to bring its minions down here to defend it.
Despite the height of the fall however, not all of the enslaved ants died. As the bodies began to pile up, more and more began to survive the fall. For once, Sean was grateful that some of his enemies were still around. Because the ones that lived were attacking the closest interloper they could find.
Which just happened to be the hulking, humanoid undead currently cleaving several of them to pieces with each blow. The death creature was positively covered in spores, which was probably why they were swarming it. Even so…
How the hell are we going to fight that thing? Sean thought, before turning back to face the queen and getting his head back in the game.
Even as his feet pounded the ground, the slime warrior’s mind raced. Ahead of them, the now-singed and slightly smoking ant queen began to pick herself back up. She shuddered and paused halfway through the act, and stared at the ground intensely as if trying to force herself to vomit the rest of the fungus up. How the hell is she going to fight that thing? It’s cleaving through her kids like cotton candy. She’ll just be slowly hacked to death like the rest of them.
Shaking his head clear of his doubts, Sean instead went through a desperate mental checklist of everything they had available to them. There had to be something. There was always something.
Pity we don’t have another trumpet. Sean thought idly. That would have made this whole thing easier… or worse, depending on what showed up.
“Do you think you can still use spider climb with all this rock on you?” Gel asked suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. “I’m not sure I could lift us with the whip right now.”
Sean had to admit the question had already been on his mind, he looked down at the charred rubble coating all over his bones. Portions of it had fallen off due to their fall and the explosion, but most of it still remained.
“No, I don’t think so.” Sean admitted.
Even now, it felt like he was running with weights on. If he had to go by Scottish standards, then he would say he had to weigh at least several more stone. The slime warrior chuckled to himself even as he closed the final distance towards his target and leapt onto the side of the massive ant queen’s nearest leg. With an iron determination, he looked up and began to climb.
It would have been an impossible task if it weren’t for the chitinous ridges and upturned spikes covering the royal ant’s legs. Ridges and spikes that Sean had only been able to see now that he was up close and personal with her thanks to the spore covering still on the lower half of the appendages. He guessed these measures were a defensive adaptation used to both protect her legs and saw at the insides of whatever she was stabbing into, given how similar the pattern looked to arrowheads his uncle had once shown him.
You are one nasty piece of work there, girl. But don’t worry. Sean mentally soothed the several-story-tall insect even as he and Gel worked in tandem to lift their rock-laden form up towards their goal. She couldn’t hear his thoughts of course, but it made him feel better about climbing something far more deadly than he was Shadow of the Collosus-style. We’re gonna clean you up, have you help us kill our lunatic friend over there, and then we’ll all feel a whole lot better.
Unsurprisingly, the queen ant did not respond. She did however, begin bashing her truck-sized head into the ground over and over. Each crashing impact sent rumbles through the cavern and Sean had to fight the vibrations just to hold and not fall off. Despite the tension of the situation, the slime warrior actually started to feel a bit bad for the queen. Those self-inflicted blows did not look fun, so if that was preferable to what she was already feeling then the queen ant must be in a world of pain.
“How long do you think it’ll take you to clear the infection once we’re up?” Sean asked as they neared ever closer to the massive insect’s body. Given the clear view, he hoped the slime might be able to provide a time estimate. Especially given the fact that he wasn’t hearing as many sounds of battle from the other side of the cavern as he had been earlier.
Glancing back Sean saw that whatever that thing was, it appeared to have no trouble at all slaughtering a constant stream of giant ants.
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
“No idea.” Gel said frankly, and some of the tension in the room appeared to have bled into the slime’s normally cheerful exterior. Through their bond, Sean sensed a spark of anger at the queen’s current predicament. “Honestly? I won’t know until I’m in there. Could be a lot to clear out, might not be much left. Hard to tell.”
“Fair enough.” Sean grunted, clambering over to the queen’s body from her leg and feeling rather grateful that she was too busy smashing her own face in to turn back and wonder what they were about to do to her. “How mad do you think she’s about to be?”
“How mad would you be if I just shot through your body and absorbed a bunch of your insides?” Gel asked sarcastically, before adding. “Actually wait no, now I am curious. Would you be mad? You didn’t seem all that upset when I did it.”
“Different situation. We talked about it and you were helping me out. She has no idea who we are.” Sean explained, planting himself firmly against one of the ridged spines that lined the ant queen’s back and grabbing onto it with his rock hand. “So I’ll bet two deer steaks she is going to be pissed.”
“I want to take you up on that, but I refuse to risk steak to do it.” Gel said as the slime’s whip shot out from Sean’s right arm and punched his way deep into the ant queen’s carapace through one of the many available cracks in her heavy chitin armor.
The royal ant matriarch froze in place, as if surprised. Then she reared back, screeching in pain. Her face, muddied with blood and purple-white spores all the way to her mandibles, began to gnash violently from side to side as she stood up. The matriarch’s head twisted as if trying to reach them, but she was clearly unable. For a moment, Sean thought that was the end of it.
If she can’t reach us, then maybe she’ll just let Gel fini–
Before he had even finished the thought, the ant queen charged the cavern wall, jumped, and attempted to slam her back up against it. The first time, Sean was spared from becoming a pile of pulverized bone meal by only a dozen or so feet. The second time, he was able to duck low and hold onto her ridgeline. On the third attempt however, the slime warrior’s enlarged frame proved too big to dodge with and his head smacked into a rock protruding from the wall. The blow dealt no damage, but the rock skin coating covering Sean’s head fell away. Without it, he suddenly felt very exposed.
“Any chance you could speed it up in there?” Sean asked his friend as he braced for a fourth impact, riding the ant queen like she was a bucking bronco at the state fair. He glanced over towards their gear and the still-widening maw in the ceiling that was now pouring in even more ants. “Actually on second thought, maybe slow it down? If she keeps this up maybe she’ll drop the whole colony on him.”
“Which one do you want?” Gel half-shouted, sounding stressed. “I’m working my wobble off down here!”
“I thought your wobble was–” Sean began, but was forced to cut off the statement in favor of throwing himself onto the royal ant’s back in order to avoid being flattened.
“You know what I meant! Now just hold on for a little bi– oh look, that’s the last of it.” Gel shot back into Sean’s arm with a strange slip-and-slide-esque sound that hadn’t ever happened before.
“She is officially fungal-free now!” The slime proudly announced, as the ant matriarch let out another shrill screech of pain, clacked her mandibles once, and then slumped to the ground.
The pair of them looked around, each about to raise their respective arm in victory – before noticing all of the thousands of mushrooms still sticking out of the queen’s back.
“Well, on the inside, anyway.” Gel amended with a short cough of embarrassment. “Shall we?”
“We shall.” Sean affirmed, adjusting his body to give Gel a better angle to work with as the slime began whipping out and cutting down the rest of the mushrooms.
They worked as fast as they possibly could for the next several minutes. As the undead monstrosity on the other side of the cavern hacked its way through a horde of ants, Sean and Gel did the same to the infestation remaining on the queen. The slime warrior was more than a little disturbed at how easily Bancroft’s hulking minion kept pace with them. It didn’t even seem to slow down, no matter how many foes it faced. Each swipe of its sword bisecting workers and soldiers alike. Not even the acid of the shooters seemed to have any effect, at least none that Sean could tell.
Why couldn’t he have brought me back as one of those things? Sean wondered, not at all jealous of having had to start out as a low level skeleton. If you’re going to kill someone and bring them back, at least bring them back as something cool.
Continuing their reaping, Sean’s black hand flashed through another mushroom stalk like it was made of butter even as Gel whirled through shrooms like they were wheat in a field, their movements perfectly in sync. Grinning at the sheer thrill of being on the cusp of achieving their goal, the slime warrior amended his own thoughts. Low-level skeleton start or not, he had to admit he had come far since arriving here.
When the last mushroom fell off its stalk, just as the rock skin potion’s effects wore off and Sean’s bones resumed their normal pristine-white appearance, three things of great importance to Sean’s future all happened as if on cue:
First, the ant matriarch’s body began to shudder violently in place. For once, she didn’t fight it. Instead, the massive insect’s body suddenly began to repair itself. Cracks in her chitin armor glowed green and began to rapidly scab over only to burst and reveal fresh armor underneath.
Second, the hole spilling a waterfall’s worth of enslaved ants into the cavern finally burst open. As it did, it sent a dark-brown tidal wave of what looked like every remaining ant in the colony crashing to the floor. Most died, simply splattering against the ground at terminal velocity without a potion of rock skin to save them. Many however, did not. Whether it was due to sheer dumb luck amongst the shroom pipes or landing on their fallen comrades, far more survived than Sean was comfortable with.
Despite all this, it was the third event that arrested Sean’s and Gel’s attention. The crumbling ceiling hadn’t just dropped ants and earth into the room. It had also given way to entire networks of winding roots, creating a tapestry of sorts throughout the room. Dozens of the roots were long enough to reach all the way to the ground, and some even remained partially attached to the ceiling.
A part of Sean’s mind found that interesting, and still wondered what sort of tree grew roots that size this deep. But the rest of the slime warrior’s attention was laser-focused on a single root. The one still holding their pack. The one dangling halfway down the ceiling towards where the shroom network core had been. The one they needed to reach if they were to have any hope of surviving this mess.
… The one bobbing up and down in the air like a pinata on a string, not fifty or so yards away from where the hulking undead tirelessly continued its brutal butcher’s work.
“Alright.” Sean thought confidently at his friend, before being forced to catch his balance on a nearby ridge as the queen shook. He looked over towards the massive insect’s face and black eyes, which were starting to seem less crazed and more lucid by the moment.
No less full of rage, though. Sean noted, silently praying the ant queen would both understand and appreciate the efforts they had just undergone to save her. If not, well, that would make what he had planned next much harder.
I really hope that was a good idea.
“Are we at the ‘pray she doesn’t eat us’ part?” Gel asked after a second. “Because you got awful quiet for a second there and I don’t know how to pray.”
“We are.” Sean affirmed. “But we’re not sticking around for her to wake up. Because it is time.”
“Oh.” Gel said with mild surprise before asking the obvious question. “Time for what?”
Sean rolled his shoulders and neck, neither of which cracked, but the action still felt like it psyched him up anyway. He pointed his midnight-black hand touchdown-style towards where their pack bobbed not far from the hulking undead still single-handedly holding off more ants than they could ever have hoped to fight at once.
“It’s time… for round 2!”