“Feathers wants to know if we’re still planning on going back down the hole.” Gel translated for Sean as they chowed down on another flash-burned ant corpse. “Scales wants to know the same thing.”
“Feathers?” It was obvious who Gel meant, but Sean was still amused at the nicknames. “Of course we’re still going down there. The fungus is still alive, right?”
“Most likely. My memories of the tunnels extend further down than what we blew up. Not too much further, but enough.” Gel shoved another section of crisp ant-meat into Sean’s stomach. “Mmmm… Delicious.”
They had traveled to the edge of the blast crater only once since the survivors had helped dig them out from the newly-created dune they had been buried under. To Sean, it looked like those aerial drone videos of open-air mining pits he had seen back on earth. Only this one was more of a massive, cylindrical hole boring straight down rather than a structured pit with paths leading out for traffic to use. The edges of it were still smoking, and the slime warrior was half-convinced some parts of the crater’s lip were now glass.
“We haven’t seen any ants come up since the blast.” Sean mused as he worked to de-shell another oversized bug, wondering idly if there were parts besides just the flesh he could use for cooking later. “Maybe the tunnels collapsed on it.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it.” Gel gorged himself on another meal, growing ever-so-slightly as he did, before asking. “You still want me to tell them about Bancroft?”
“Saren– Feathers is a paladin, right? Maybe he can help out.”
“That didn’t go too well for them last time.” Gel pointed out.
“True, but revenge is a powerful motivator.” Sean countered. “And given what we saw his minion do, we could use the help if we’re going to kill him.”
“Fair enough, but I’ve still got dibs on his corpse!” Gel asserted, and Sean didn’t begrudge the point. What could paladins possibly want with a necromancer’s body?
“Dibs on his loot then.” Sean shot back, and then added. “Not to share it with them. We’re keeping whatever we take when Bancroft goes down. They can keep his house or something.”
“Weren’t you going to burn down his house?” Gel asked curiously. “Like you did to his stables?”
“I’m reserving the right, yes. They can have whatever’s left.”
“Alright, then I shall pass on our terms!” Gel said brightly. “What else do we want from him?”
“Do we need anything else from him?” Sean asked, pretty sure that they had covered everything already. “Other than making sure he’s still using that life bar to make us a weapon.”
“Already checked, he still is.” Gel confirmed, before his tone gained a hint of suspicion. “It looks a little less bright though if you ask me. He might have been using the mana for himself. I’ll make sure he has it topped up before he gives it to a smith.”
“Then yeah. Don’t need anything else from ‘em.” Sean said dismissively, moving about his task.
“It’s not about need, Sean. Bargaining is an art form.” Gel enthused, and Sean thought he heard someone else’s voice in the slime’s tone for a second. “By the time I’m through with him, Feathers will be paying us to help.”
Sean chuckled, and then let Gel go about his business. The slime began talking in what sounded like an animated tone, and the gathered survivors immediately began listening with interest. As their conversation continued, Sean found it easier and easier to tune them all out. He worked on feeding Gel the many sizzling ant corpses that had been piled up after the battle, and turned his attention back to his waiting prompts. The ones he hadn’t seen while they were still buried underground.
What he read first made the slime warrior’s manic grin stretch all the way across his skull.
You have defeated more than a hundred foes in a single attack! You may expand this list for a full count. You have gained a total of 356 experience!
Congratulations, by accomplishing feats remarkable even to the patient notice of Death itself, you have reached levels 9 through 11! As a slime warrior you gain 1 point of Might and 2 points of Toughness with every level.
“Haha-hell YES!” Sean shouted mentally. He had been hoping to get some experience from their little stunt, but he hadn’t been expecting this. “Two more levels, baby! Oh yeahhh! Get some! Get some all. Freakin. Day!”
“What are you– oh.” Gel sounded confused at the interruption, and a little irritated. As one might expect if someone not in your conversation started shouting inside your head. “Are you just now seeing we leveled up?”
In the slime’s defense, it had been at least ten minutes since they had climbed out of the dune. But in Sean’s defense, there had been a lot to see and deal with first. Like the giant hole they had made in the ground, or the massive wave of sand dunes emanating away from it, for instance.
“I’ve been busy.” Sean said defensively. “This is the first chance I’ve had to read through everything.”
“Ohhh, so that’s why you haven’t said anything yet.” Gel cackled, all trace of the slime’s earlier irritation gone. “Keep reading then, because you are in for a treat my skeletal friend.”
Unwilling to let the slime’s back-and-forth interrupt his excitement, Sean nevertheless moved on to his next prompt. Reading through it, he felt like cheering all over again.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE COOKED AN INCREDIBLE ONE HUNDRED MEALS AT THE SAME TIME WITH A MAGICAL TOOL OR DEVICE! WHILE THE QUALITY VARIED, THIS EXEMPLARY ACHIEVEMENT HAS ADVANCED YOUR UNDERSTANDING AS A CHEF BEYOND THE BORDERS OF ORDINARY COOKING! CONTINUE EXPANDING YOUR RANGE AND KNOWLEDGE TO ACHIEVE FURTHER BENEFITS AND UNLOCK NEW PLATEAUS OF POTENTIAL IN THE CULINARY ARTS.
Progress towards achieving the Amateur Magichef title: 94.9%
Almost there! Sean whooped internally. Just another five percent and then I’m going to be a Magichef skeleton! Oh yeah!
There had never been any indication of what exactly the ‘amateur magichef’ title would unlock for him, but that hadn’t stopped Sean’s imagination from running wild ever since he’d started progressing towards it. Gel had known surpassingly little about it, only that it was one of the apparently myriad ways to imbue magic into edible materials. Sean would have killed for a cookbook.
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Maybe we’ll be able to buy one in Dervash. Sean relayed the idea to Gel, and the slime promised to add a cookbook to the list of things he was bargaining for. Sean didn’t know why there was already a list, but Gel seemed to be enjoying himself. So the slime warrior just left his friend to it, and got back to his prompts.
The next prompt appeared with a startlingly loud bang that might have made him drop the antmeat he was working with if Sean hadn’t just heard the whole world collapse around him. Its borders were those of a dozen lit fuses all burning merrily away, and as he read the text individual letters began to flare up as if threatening their own explosions.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE EARNED THE TITLE: ‘BOMBARDIER’! EXPLOSIONS ARE AMONG THE MOST DANGEROUS WAYS TO ELIMINATE ONE’S FOES, BUT FOR THOSE WHO CAN PULL IT OFF RIGHT THERE IS NOTHING MORE SATISFYING! BOMBARDIERS PREFER THE ‘BIG FINALE’ STYLE OF ENDING FIGHTS, LEAVING PIECES OF THEIR ENEMIES LITTERING THE BATTLEFIELD THERE, AND OVER THERE, AND WAY OVER THERE…
This title grants a rare, but substantial bonus to damage suffered by all objects and entities caught within explosive events you have created, caused, or otherwise initiated.
That was definitely a ‘big finale’ style ending. Good thing Gel talked me out of using that bomb on the undead thing. We’d have gone out along with half the forest. Sean mused, though he couldn’t help but wonder at the particularly broad phrasing of that last line. The prompt said it affected all ‘explosive events’. Might have to be careful making popcorn. Unless… does the explosion have to do damage to count?
Sean resolved to test this ‘Bombardier’ effect out later. Pulling up the next prompt he heard the all-too-familiar sound of searing meat, followed by what he swore was an oven opening. The wording on this prompt was alternatively tan or pink, but then quickled darkened to a fine brown. It honestly made the whole thing a bit of a headache to read, but the end result was worth it.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE EARNED THE TITLE: ‘FLASH BATCH’! CHEFS ARE NOT JUST PURVEYORS OF THE FINEST CULINARY EXPERIENCES IN THE WORLD, IT ALSO FALLS ON THEM TO FEED THE MASSES WHEN NONE ELSE WILL! BY COOKING MORE THAN A THOUSAND PORTIONS WORTH OF MEALS AT ONCE, YOU HAVE EARNED THIS HONORABLE KITCHEN DISTINCTION!
This title grants a minor increase in quality when cooking meals whose final product is comprised of 10 or more full portions. For the purposes of this title, a ‘portion’ is any amount that would reasonably satisfy the hunger of an adult entity of your size or larger.
Hah! Probably got that for barbecuing all these ants. Sean thought, both amused and appreciative for all the benefits they were reaping out of that one explosion. I wonder how hard it would be to get another of those potions…
Sean asked Gel as much, but the slime quickly shot his dreams down.
“Barry spent two year’s profits on buying that potion. That’s why I wanted it so badly.” Gel explained. “He was going to use it to excavate a mine shaft all at once. One the villagers found but didn’t have the proper tools for.”
“He was going to blow up the mine?” Sean glanced over to the massive, open-air pit not far from where they stood and, for the second time in as many minutes, tried to imagine the devastation a blast like that would actually have done to the forest. “Wouldn’t that have destroyed the ore, too? Why would anyone–”
“That’s why it was so expensive.” Gel interrupted, and the slime was talking so quickly it was like he was trying to hold two separate conversations at once. Which, of course, he was. “Well, one of the reasons. Barry spent extra to make sure the blast wouldn’t affect metal ores. Now give me a second, Feathers here is trying to pull a fast one on pricing because he thinks I don’t know what cloth sells for and this little birdy is oh so wrong.”
“Why do you– nevermind.” Sean decided not to ask that question right now and to just get back to what he was doing. By the looks of it, he still had more than a few prompts to go through. “Good luck.”
“Luck is for the meek. I own these deals!” Gel exclaimed proudly, and again Sean heard someone else’s voice in him. Though not as much as before.
Shaking his head in amusement and stuffing yet-more antmeat down his own gob, Sean pulled up his next notification. This one appeared with the sound of a crashing boulder followed by that of a cheering crowd. The borders were wrought-steel bars firmly locked in rigid patterns, and he felt like each word was somehow louder than usual.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE EARNED THE TITLE: ‘UNSTOPPABLE’! YOU TOOK A BLOW THAT SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU MORE THAN 10 TIMES OVER – AND SURVIVED! FEW CAN MAKE SUCH A CLAIM THIS SIDE OF THE VEIL, AND EVEN FEWER CAN CLAIM IT FOR LONG! YOUR RESILIENCE SHALL BE REWARDED!
This title grants an extremely rare chance to preserve 1 health from an otherwise fatal blow, regardless of the total damage that would have been taken. This effect can occur no more than once per year.
Given the fact that that shockwave from earlier could have easily killed the both of them, this was perhaps the most beneficial prompt Sean had received so far.
It’s not exactly a ‘get out of death-free’ card, but hey. I’ll take it. ‘Extremely rare chance’ or not, it’s still something. Even if it is only once per year. Who doesn’t want to be ‘unstoppable’? Sean gladly filed this title away under his mental ‘I’m a badass’ folder, and moved on to the next. Which was suspiciously identical to the last.
Congratulations, by surviving a blow that should have killed you more than 25 times over, you have raised your ‘Unstoppable’ title to the second rank! Your exceptional resilience shall be rewarded! The effect of your ‘Unstoppable’ title can now occur no more than once per month.
What the… ‘second rank’? Sean paused what he was doing and re-read the prompt. Then he did some quick mental math and, on a hunch he couldn’t have said where it came from, opened up the next prompt as well.
Congratulations, by surviving a blow that should have killed more than 50 times over, you have raised your ‘Unstoppable’ title to the third rank! Your heroic resilience shall be rewarded! The effect of your ‘Unstoppable’ title can now occur no more than once per week. Additionally, it now has an ‘exceedingly rare’ chance to activate instead of ‘extremely rare’.
Holy shit. Sean had been surprised earlier at the truly absurd damage the explosion had put out, but there was something different about reading: “You could have literally been killed fifty different ways a few seconds ago.”. It wasn’t a fear response. Not really. It felt more… thrilling.
Good to know I’m even more of a badass than I thought I was. Sean thought to himself. And now I know that titles have ranks, which is pretty damn awesome.
He wondered briefly if being undead was making him more cavalier about the prospect of death itself. Sean had never really feared losing his own life back on Earth, everyone took the hard stage-right sometime, even if it looked like this latest title might give him a last-ditch attempt at staying in the play. But ever since coming here and actually knowing that his own end was never far away…
A shiver ran down Sean’s spine, and the sudden emotional weight he was dealing with retreated from his mind. For once, Sean was thoroughly glad that it had. He didn’t have time to get all mopey and introspective about his internal dialogue right now. He had stuff to do. Not to mention a fungus to defeat.
And more prompts to read! Sean thought brightly, trying to imitate some of Gel’s own enthusiasm to push away the odd, intrusive brooding turn his thoughts had just taken.
Opening the next prompt, Sean’s jaw dropped open. A piece of crisp ant meat fell to the sand, and his non-existent eyebrows nearly climbed into his skull.
Congratulations, Initiate of Death! Upon reaching level 10, you have earned the right to evolve into your next form! As a sentient creature, you are unique amongst your undead brethren in that you have the right to choose which of the following unlocked third-tier evolutions you would like to become:
* Skeletal Champion
* Skeletal Brute
* Blast Bones
* Mauler
* Candlewick Chef
* Gelaton*