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Ringmaster's Ambition
Chapter 8: The First [Blessing]

Chapter 8: The First [Blessing]

When I collapsed, I felt nothing at first but soon I started to feel exhausted. Whatever took over my body earlier probably didn't realize that my body was not capable of exerting too much effort, and the [Stamina Boost] probably wore off some time during that process. I assume that maybe some other being has taken control of my body since Uncle Terpet once said that possession was something that existed here. Was it probably a demon? Or could it be something else? I can't really tell this to anyone in the family, so I'll have to personally look into this, or have someone I trust to look into it; the former choice being more likely than the latter, as I can't trust anyone here.

Feeling that I once again had control of my arm by trying to form a fist, I then opened my eyes and noticed I was then staring at a recently familiar ceiling. It was the ceiling of the room where I had undergone an examination. Hearing footsteps coming towards me, I looked at the source and notice my uncle, and right beside him were my parents.

"It's good that you're finally awake, Alkef"

Uncle said while sounding a bit relieved. I then checked the room and saw that my parents were on my other side. Both of them looked worried. I then turned to them and asked.

"How long was I asleep?"

"It hasn't been that long. Only an hour's passed since you collapsed,. Your parents came rushing as soon as your friend rushed towards the inn to call for your parents"

'Friend?'

I wouldn't expect Vanessa to have known what happened to me so it was probably Caltro. Although he was nowhere in sight so he's either waiting outside or has gone home.

"Are you feeling anything strange? Any pain?"

"No. I just feel tired just like when I overexert myself"

My mother then became surprised.

"Ah, I didn't know the [Stamina Boost] wore off so quickly! You should've had at least two hours or more, which I thought was enough"

'Don't worry. Thanks to it wearing off faster, whatever took over my body earlier had made this body of mine collapse which probably helped me take my body back'

"It's not your fault, Mother. I was simply in a rush to have my friend get healed that I forgot about the fatigue that was building up inside me"

'What!? What am I saying!? That's not what I was supposed to say! Oi! You're still here in my body!? Tell me who you are!'

"Indeed. That was a noble thing to do, Alkef"

Father said proudly however he then added.

"But you must not forget to make sure not to endanger yourself. Who knows what would've happened if you collapsed outside in the streets instead"

Sensing the sensation of being able to speak again on my own, I reluctantly agreed.

"Yes, Father"

I bowed my head apologetically. Honestly, now that I realized that whatever that thing is still in my body, I now wanted to tell them that something had suddenly usurped my body during the entire debacle. But those words wouldn't come out. Although everything seems to be okay, I am panicking.

I tried to say it again but the words that came out were...

"How is Caltro, Uncle Terpet?"

'There it is again! I wanted to say, "Help! Someone's taking over my body!" but those words wouldn't come out!'

"He's fine and his injuries have been healed but we had to ask him to wait at the lounge for a bit as we will be discussing something important once again"

Is my anxiety at least showing or do I still appear calm? I thought that whatever was controlling my body had disappeared but here it was again. Calm down me, nothing will be solved by panicking. Maybe...

"Something important? Is it about my body?"

'There! I meant to say that!'

As my thoughts and words were in sync. I have a theory that maybe what triggers this is me acting "unnaturally" as Alkef. For three years I have developed a persona that was calm, meek, kind, and obedient. As the trigger of the incident was most likely not doing anything when Caltro was suffering, I had contradicted the "kindness" expected of Alkef. It's a hypothesis but it may be true. My mind may that of Samuel Tuckerman of the previous world, but this body of mine may be that of Alkef. A theory that, in my opinion, may happen with how mysterious and strange this world is. To test this further, I'll have to try something out.

I then tried to swing a punch at my father who was right next to me and as expected no movement occurred. Then I initiated a hug and it then did as I had attempted to do.

Surprised by my hug, Father then decided to console me.

"What's the matter Alkef, are you scared?"

'No, fool!'

"A bit"

There you have it. Maybe I'm not being possessed but rather I am being corrected. That predicament however creates a much greater problem. Can I still say that I have a will of my own? Is this natural in this world to have no capacity to act differently from what you should be? Is there no such thing as a free will here? Or am I the only one like this? Is this one of Notpil's shackles?

Now that I've come to realize this, I start to feels like everyone here has a designated role in a story that they can't oppose. As if no one can just change their vocation and choices at a snap of a finger or do something unexpected. Then what was Vanessa earlier? Was it just a front or was that within a controlled situation and her sudden outburst was actually part of her character? If I remember correctly, didn't Notpil say that celestial beings have more control in this world? Maybe what's missing in this fantasy land is the concept of "free will". It's all just conjecture right now.

Or maybe this is actually what happens to people who managed to become reincarnated but have still kept their past memories intact. They are able to live a new life but are not allowed to act differently on how they are intended to live this life.

To fill my own mind with worry will eventually lead me to further stress. Relax, me. If you don't know the answer, then observe and keep observing until you have properly taken a grasp of the situation. To act rashly now would be more of a demerit. When security requires delay, then delay until it is secure.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

These were the rules that helped me succeed with a body count of more than a thousand as a serial killer. Of course, I couldn't have done it all alone. As I was immersed in thought, I suddenly heard my uncle calling out to me.

"Alkef? Are you alright?"

"Huh?"

"You've been spaced out for quite some time. Is there anything bothering you?"

I shook my head.

"I was just thinking about what happened earlier"

"Is that so? Well then, since I have your attention, could you please look at the projection of the [Sphere of Truth]?"

I then looked at it and saw that very familiar words there. This was the [Blessing] section that was in my examination results but this wasn't the reason why it was familiar. They were familiar because they weren't written in the language of this world but rather the language of my previous world. Specifically, English. Reading the text written on that translucent screen made me confused for a bit until I eventually found out what it truly meant.

...

「The True Pacifist」

「Every fiber of your being rejects every form of conflict; be it verbal or physical. You are a true follower of the concept of peace and strive to form bonds with everyone; be it with those who have good or bad intentions. As your very instinct shall prevent you from going against your code, this, in turn, shall potentially influence others to refrain from going against your goal」

...

Although I did not intend to, my body somehow read the text out loud for others to hear.

A [Blessing] has been removed from being unreadable text and is now presented to me; the nine others remain jumbled with random letters. The implications of this may explain why I have been acting strangely. It's not that I was being possessed or my personality was being corrected. Apparently, this was simply ingrained in every fiber of my being. This was encoded deeply into my instinct. Therefore, it wasn't that I was unable to control my body, I was simply unable to control my instinct. That's why my actions seemed so natural despite me not being conscious or in control. Or, is this a red herring only to hide a more sinister truth?

This [Blessing], essentially, will stop me from doing a lot of things. Does that mean I am incapable of violence? What if I have to slaughter an animal so that I could eat? What if I get attacked by a monster? Does this work only on particular living creatures, like humans or all living beings in general? I need to know! But based on what's happened now, it corrects my words and actions, and makes them in line with a possibly predetermined set of rules that either I unconsciously set by acting like an obedient child for this past three years, or it was set by someone else, probably Notpil.

"Alkef, do you know what this means?", Uncle Terpet decided to ask suddenly.

I shook my head, acting oblivious to what this meant.

"Do you not remember anything from your past life?"

I shook my head again. Of course, I remember everything from my previous life. But they don't need to know that.

"This is quite strange. Records say that, supposedly, when you unlock a [Blessing], some of your memories from your previous life should at least be revealed...", uncle said as his words trailed off, whatever he tried to say after that was no longer discernible by anyone in the room.

"Terpet", mother decided to call out to him.

"Sorry, I have a guess, but maybe due to the sheer number of [Blessings] he has, his past incarnation's memories may be revealed only after he unlocks more [Blessings]."

"Terpet, will this be a reoccurring thing? Will this pose a problem for how Alkef lives?"

"Unfortunately, that may be the case. We don't know what triggers the unlocking of a [Blessing] and it seems Alkef doesn't know them too since he hasn't received his past memories. Until all his [Blessings] are unlocked, this experience may or may not continue to happen."

'Your persistent guesswork is admirable, but Uncle Terpet, I'm sorry to say this but you're wrong'

In fact, I may know the trigger to some of them. This first [Blessing] may have triggered when I allowed and enjoyed the suffering of others. I've had violent thoughts way before this incident, but I've never witnessed, personally, an actual person suffering until now. Even when I was seeing those poor folks and beggars in the alleys, this [Blessing] did not get unlocked. So, this leaves two possibilities. The first being that this may either be caused by my mental state and the second is that it may be caused by my actions. If I remember correctly, Notpil said that I will start sowing 'good karma', which I certainly am not foreign to as I have also done a fair share of good deeds in my past life, but certainly not enough to outweigh the bad deeds I've done.

While I was lost in thought, I also noticed that everyone in the room was also in thought. I didn't bother to shatter this collective contemplation until I realized that suddenly my uncle was looking at me. He then started talking once more.

"There is a silver lining to this."

"And what would that be?", my father, finally deciding to talk.

"Alkef's [Blessing] is perfect for the Church of Hure."

Both my parents and I stared at him, shocked. Don't tell me you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting.

"Don't tell me you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting", mother replied.

'Exactly! I don't want to be a priest!'

"He's only three years old, he's still too young. And what kind of parents are we to choose for his own future."

'True. Very true'

"It's just a suggestion. It's also so that there is a close church he can go to in case he collapses again. Since we can't determine when he collapses, he has to be monitored at all times"

"We can do that just fine in our home", mother then said with a stern and unyielding tone.

"As Shila said, we can do that in our home back in the village. She may have retired but Shila's still a Tier 3 Priestess"

"I guess I can concede to that. Well, if you need further help, feel free to call me through the [Comco]. Instead of you rushing back to town again, I'll visit instead."

With Uncle Terpet no longer pursuing the suggestion and instead, offering to be the one to pay a visit as well, the entire situation ended amicably. After saying our goodbyes, my parents decided to head back to the village. It was already noon and to delay any further would mean that we'd have to stay in town for another night.

As each of us got into the wooden car known as an [Automo], a red-haired individual caught our attention. It was, of course, Vanessa who was carrying a somewhat large package when compared to how big she was; it didn't seem to be heavy as she was able to carry it with ease.

She rushed beside the vehicle and with a teary voice she asked, "You're leaving already?".

"Unfortunately, yes. My brothers are left back at home, and it would be too careless for us to leave them alone for another day."

She was silent for a while, and she looked at me again.

"Will you be coming back here?"

"I don't know. Maybe if I become sick again.", I said jokingly. Although Uncle Terpet will be visiting us instead, it may be a while before I visit this town again.

"Here.", Vanessa suddenly said while handing the package to me. I unconsciously received it.

"What is it?"

"A toy. Make sure to return it to me!", she suddenly ran towards the opposite direction and turned the corner until we couldn't see her anymore.

'This child... Are you expecting me to return this to you soon? You're obligating and finding me a reason to come back soon?'

I couldn't even reply. Although when she handed me the package, I noticed both of her hands were bandaged. So she may have injured herself further while she was pummeling Caltro. I guess she didn't have a priest treat her wounds. Maybe such treatments are actually expensive. I wonder how that situation will proceed later? Can't say that was your typical playground accident, seeing as Caltro had to be brought to the Church of Hure for treatment. Well, no point thinking about that further.

Directing my attention back inside the [Automo], I see my parents sneering at me while grinning.

"Who knew Alkef could be such a charmer!", father shamelessly decided to vomit these words out of his mouth.

"I guess we don't need to have Uncle Terpet visit us. We can always visit the town from time to time alongside Fon and Rael", mother decided to say as well.

'I ain't a pedo though! Don't expect me to be romantically interested in a child. As I said, maybe twenty to thirty years from now, once she's actually physically and mentally mature enough.'

As much as I wanted to rebut, this body of mine started to act up. Although I planned to keep silent and act apathetic to this, I suddenly felt like I lost control of my body once again. What the hell! I suddenly felt my face turning hot. What the hell!? I'm blushing!? This also has to undergo a 'correction'!? This [Blessing] is definitely a curse!

My parents' grins grew wider. Seeing that all this teasing was enough for the day, mother decided to ask what was inside. Which I decided to open. The first one to react was my father.

"Oh, it's a [Minitar]!", father suddenly blurted out.

He said this was a [Minitar] but I'm sure that what I'm staring at is not some kind of otherworldly device but rather a very familiar one, especially something that exists even in my previous world. It was, without a doubt, an ukulele.