I'm actually five years old now. I was not able to experience two years of my life as I was apparently unconscious. Although that might not be true as the other 'me' was able to experience it for me, and he was kind enough to leave this message for me to somehow absorb or remember whatever he did. Assuming that's the case, does the other 'me' have my memories as Samuel Tuckerman? If so, then why does he go against me? Does he share my preferences or is he actively going against it? Why now did he decide to let go of the reins and allowed me to become conscious again?
But most important of all.
Who is the dominant identity?
I may have had consciousness ever since the day I was born into this world, but does that mean even he was conscious back then as well? or did this identity develop subsequently as I was experiencing life?
As I have no way to get any answers from these questions, I'll set all this aside for now. A more urgent matter is at hand. Apparently I've been assigned to undergo a pilgrimage. Specifically, I'll have to travel from Floren City back to Sevis City on my own. I'm being dropped here because the influence of the Church of Hure is much too low here, so I'm also tasked to somehow improve the Church of Hure's relation with the locals. I'm technically an ambassador, although a very young one at that. There's no actual church structure in Floren City but a fellow priest by the name of Astor Noblesa is the one that's currently representing the Church of Hure here and he was requesting skilled priests and acolytes to assist him.
Floren City started out as a large fortress but many decades of peaceful relations with neighboring nations eventually transformed this once formidable fortress to a trading city. This city is actually located in a different nation from Daxtrion Kingdom, known as the Donadalia Kingdom which's located north-east from my homeland. I'd actually have to pass through the borders of three other nations so that I could go back to Sevis City.
Logically speaking, I'm wondering why I'm being assigned to such far away lands, but recollecting through the memories that I acquired from the other 'me' showed me that 'I' was the one who volunteered to supposedly prove my worth. And also, I'm being treated as the next Saint candidate for the Church of Hure, which was also part of the reason why my parents allowed me to start being an apprentice, as for the other reasons, even the 'me' who experienced all these was not sure as well. However, I can make a guess as to what that may be. Part of these newly acquired memories showed me High Priest Tianle lecturing me about the various other factions, cults, churches, and organizations publicly known all over the world. One of these factions is known as the "Human Superiority" faction and they will do anything to prove that the human race is the most superior race.
As I look like a human but have the pure blood of an elf, they may become interested with me as I do have human physical features while having the arcane potential of an elf; which might probably be enough for them use me as proof of the superiority of the human race, or they may see me as a heretic creature and would try to kill me. There were also other factions that should be taken note of, but the "Human Superiority" faction is apparently the most widespread in the Daxtrion Kingdom and the nations surrounding it.
So it could also be possible that my parent's consent was acquired as they feared for my future, and having a large organization as protection would certainly help in ensuring my safety. However, wouldn't their allowance of me going to Floren City, which is situated very far from the Daxtrion Kingdom sort of be contrary to that necessary protection. Are they not afraid that something bad might happen to me during all this? Is it that they trust me that much?
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Ah yes, I remember now. They believe that the guiding protection of Goddess Hure will make it so that this pilgrimage of mine will go smoothly. I feel secure and safe now because a god is watching over me. Really... do they expect that a being who hasn't shown herself for centuries would suddenly descend from above to protect me from danger? Am I that precious or is Hure just that kind? What was the other 'me' thinking when he signed himself up for this. Where does his confidence come from, or does he expect me to come up with a solution? Okay, I'm getting angry now.
Hey you, the other me. Do you think this is funny? Here you are controlling how I act and do things, keeping me unconscious for at least two years, and now you expect me to do something about the shit you got yourself into? You think I'm some pushover you can just shove your responsibilities to? You know what, I won't do anything. If I die, you die with me. I haven't exactly established an emotional connection with our parents or this world, but I'm sure YOU have. The fact that you always stop me from doing something that inconveniences you proves that. So if something happens that will endager this body in any way, you should definitely take over because I surely won't do anything to keep myself alive.
I bet he heard that. And by thinking it, I bet he knows.
Other me, if ever you exist, you should think of a compromise soon, otherwise, if a dangerous scenario actually occurs, I'll accept it with open arms. If nothing happens, I'll make sure something happens. I guarantee it. I have my ways that you probably don't expect.
Accoriding to a very well known psychology theorist, there's a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. This may be a hypothesis, but I'm sure that 'me' has control of my conscious mind as that 'me' can grant me memories that he is aware of, but that 'me' can't grant me urges and thoughts, which is within my unconscious mind. And these urges and thoughts are what I have control of, but have no way to reflect in the physical realm, unless I learn how he manages to control me.
You may be capable of things that I currently am not aware of, but I'll learn them, and when I do, I'll make sure it'll be your turn to sleep for a while. When you wake up, you'll be in for a big surprise. So, what do you say? Let's compromise before it's too late for you.
This is my body that I have reincarnated in, and I'm not going to let anyone else use it as they wish. If I can't get what I want in whatever means, then I'll give up on it. I've lived a fulfilling life as Samuel Tuckerman and that experience is still fresh in my mind. I don't need to live life again if it means I have no freedom. Living this second life is just a bonus experience for me, and I'm sure I've got something good waiting for me after I unexpectedly die early in this world. I bet those beings at the higher realm would be thrilled to be dealing with the aftermath of processing my bad karma, or whatever Notpil said would be the consequence.
...
After I've calmed down for a bit, I checked outside the window to see if the queue was still long, and that seems to be the case. However, everything suddenly turned dark.
The next thing I knew, I was in a dark and empty room. But then, I could suddenly see a figure not too far from me. It was another 'me' who was looking at me with intense animosity and hatred. I smiled, as if welcoming a very close relative.
"Hey, you finally decided to show yourself.", I then said with a prideful smile.
While staring at the other 'me', the hateful gaze of the other 'me' did not subside, and it even grew more hateful which felt very cathartic for me. I was thinking of a possibility that he could make me fall asleep again, but that seems to no longer be the case. There was also the possibility that he may have the capability to kill the other identity, which appears to be not possible as he could've done it after I threatened him.
This means I am still necessary as 'Alkef'. That means he can't do anything to me, and most importantly, that he needs me.
"I HATE YOU."
The other 'me' finally decided to talk and those were the words he first said. This will be a pleasant conversation. Definitely.