“What do you mean they don’t want him?” I shouted, no longer concerned about the others hearing me.

At the same time Henry Holliday was smiling his Cheshire cat smile as in his most charming voice he said, “this is not a complicated concept my dear. Camden’s parents just wanted their sweet young man to check in. Now that they know he is safe and in such good hands as your own, they are more than happy to leave him in your care.”

“I don’t want him in my care! The little perv set up a streaming camera in my shower! If Mogwai hadn’t found it before I went in there, the skunk ape would be a carpet by now.” I said as I tried and failed to keep my cool.

“Yes, he seems very taken with your physical appearance. It must be all those muscles. Maybe is you stopped throwing tires and dragging cars for exercise, and did those Pilates instead, he’d lose interest,” he said with a chuckle.

“It’s called CrossFit, and we don’t drag cars! They are called sleds!”

Henry laughed again, “I am quite certain you are correct. And you are the Quintessence of fitness. However, if you want the bounty plus an ongoing supervisory fee, you’ll find a way to manage his enthusiasm.”

I glanced around the room and the whole group quickly looked away as they tried to act like they weren’t listening in.

“It’s not worth an extra ten percent. I think I am the quintessence of totally screwed!” I complained.

“Oh, I am sure you know what value it is, but have you considered that with Master Camden, comes a fully secure secret lair?” Henry raised a finger and spun it in the air, “Clearly using your house as a base of operations isn’t going so well, you know, with the voyeurism and your new Fan’s Only account?”

“My what?” I screamed, and Camden made a run for the bathroom.

Mogwai stopped typing or a second, then giggled, “Camden made a fan’s only page for you. You have nearly thirty thousand followers for “Brutish Beauty sleeps in the nude.”

“BRUT? I’m going to kill that little scum-“

“I already took it down. Too bad, though, it was making a lot of money. Another few days like that and you’d have more than you got for Camden,” Mogwai was still grinning even as I glared at her.

“Rhett Remington, my dear. You are far from a brut, you’re just a little more strapping than the average lady. My understanding is that modern men like their ladies with a little more muscle. I know I’d never want a fainting flower on the range. A man of my time would much rather have a woman of hardy stock. A woman who could handle the chores and feed the livestock. She should be able to do more than merely take selfies of themselves eating avocado toast.”

“Avocado toast is amazing!” Mogwai interjected.

Henry glanced over at her and smirked, then turned back to me.

“Regardless, the use of a fortified command post seems fitting for your new line of work. With some wards and protective runes, you might even get some sleep there with no strange marks being scribed over your,” Henry paused and didn’t bother to hide his own lascivious glance, “undoubtedly supple skin.”

Mogwai as either oblivious or trying to change the subject as she said, “I like Poached eggs on my AT. ATPE with smoked salmon.”

Again, a blush touched my cheeks, but heat blazed in my heart as well. “Alright you dirty old man, I don’t need it from you too,” I said attempting to sound annoyed but not quite getting the right edge in my voice.

“ATPESS is delicious paired with a Gold Coast Blend!” Mog said and got up an headed to the kitchen.

“Undeniably,” Henry said, but God only knew what comment he was responding to,

“I thought you could get me a ward, or rune against that damn Night Gaunt hunting me!” I said, trying to change the subject.

“Yes, but is expensive to buy. I can have one made, but in order to do that we will need a few items,” Holliday said with his hands spread like he was asking for forgiveness, even though I knew he wasn’t.

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“NAGA SCALES!” Mogwai screamed with glee apparently off her Avocado Toast kick.

“Well, then I guess I will deal with the Night Gaunt, because I sure as hell am not going after no snake thing! Not gonna happen! I’ll stay at Camden’s place and just shoot him if he tries anything,” I said in surrender.

“No. No, no no, that would never do,” Henry chuckled as if the idea was utterly absurd.

“Naga Scales have their uses, no doubt, but for a charm of this focus we’d need something entirely different. We need the venom from a Mi-Go stinger,” he said and Mogwai gaped at him.

“How about Godzilla’s tears, might be easier,” Camden breathed and hurried to my side.

“Mi-Go are from the same realm as the Night Gaunt. They’re wickedly mean, and super deadly dude! You can’t just go ask one to give you his venom, it either stings you with it, or it dies trying,” Camden shook his head wildly.

“No, thank you! You can keep that dude to yourself cowboy,” Cam growled and backed up like he needed room all of a sudden.

“Camden, since when does the might and ferocious Sasquatch of Frozen Dog Lane back down from a simple insect? Your father would be shamed by this show of meekness,” Henry chided, but his smile never waiver.

“No, he wouldn’t. My father is a poet, a lover and a wino, he’d tell me to run like hell, dude!” Camden scoffed.

Henry’s eyes flashed with annoyance, then once more settled into the amused smile I knew. “Well, the color of Camden’s father’s fur notwithstanding, we still need the Mi-Go Venom. Even if we can ward you against its influence inside the bunker, we simple cannot break the bond without the right spell,” Henry said casually.

“On un-naturalworld.com i to break a spell from a creature of a realm, you need something of that realm to connect to it,” Mog said as if she were reading from the website.

“For a conspiracy theory website, they sure seem to have a hell of a lot of secret knowledge,” I said, with way more of my own venom behind my words than I intended.

Mogwai flushed and raised her oversized coffee mug and took a long drink before adding, “it’s a very reputable site among critical thinkers who are exploring the mysteries of-“Catching my gaze she gulped her coffee once more and sat back.

“I am damned if I do, and damned if I don’t?” I asked placidly.

Henry pushed off the wall and grinned as he walked over and picked up his coat, “Indeed. That’s just the game you’re playing.”

“I know les than nothing about hunting now Mi-Go. I don’t even know what they are,” I complained bitterly. I had never wanted to do any of this and yet here I was facing a slowly creeping madness, or I had to risk my life to avoid it.

“Don’t forget about the bounty on your head. The night gaunt might be the major player here, but not the only one. Chort, Mechanoides, any manner of creature could be after you,” Camden added in helpful.

Turing to Henry, I raised a shaking finger at him accusingly, “You said if I signed on with you I’d be protected!”

“You are protected, my dear girl. Look around you,” he chuckled and waved his hand toward everyone, “You have more support than you could have dreamed. Mogwai is the quintessential streetwise hacker if I have ever beheld one. Felix can keep you in weapons, standard and ethereal, and if that fails Camden can make a bomb out of kitchen supplies. Indeed you have little to complain about, and now you even have a secret lair. No one can say I welshed on our deal, no Ma’am.”

“You sure as hell haven’t 'quintessentially' lived up to expectations, boy,” I growled, but my mind was already racing over the current information I had.

“I guess we should start with a safe base of operations,” I said quietly, then glanced at an over eager looking Ewok and sneered, “Camden, we are going to need your bunker for a while. What will it take to get it stocked with supplies?”

“You mean food and water or adult supplies?” he grinned.

“Food and water, but you can add in some wine and beer. However, if you think we are sharing a bunk, you’ve lost your fuzzy little brain,” I laughed.

Cam looked dejected for about two whole seconds before a grin flashed on his face. “No problem, I have more rooms. I’m set up for a family of twenty. You can stay in the Master Bedroom.”

“That will work, just remove the cameras and audio-pickups by the time I’m ready to move in,” I said and watched defeat wash over Cam’s features.

Let me tell you all, that boy can scheme like no one’s business, but he can’t lie to save himself. Still, I knew I’d have to have Mogwai check it over. Cam might be a back country MacGyver, but Mogwai had city girl hacker written all over her. Between the two of them, I knew I’d have my tech sector covered.

“We’ll need to stop at Felix’s place again. I think we might need some trail cams and flares or something,” I said as I thought about what we’d need.

Mog suddenly grinned wide and hurried off her seat. In a flash, she had her jacket and keys and was headed toward the door.

“Where are you going?” I called as she rushed away.

“Sounds like a you have a good plan. I’ll grab the PS5 and meet you out there,” She called over her shoulder.

“What do you need that for? I have video games,” Cam complained.

“Shit, boy, Duck hunt is nothing compared to God Of War!”

For a moment I just stood there taking in the activity as everyone rushed to do anything but something helpful.

"I have a supernatural bounty on my head. I have a bunch of Goat people looking for me. There is a Night Gaunt haunting my dreams. A cowboy is trying to make me hunt a killer bug, I have to live with a perverted teddy bear that's trying to get down my pants, and an insane gamer kid who believes in ghosts and monsters which she might be right about," I thought as I watched them then said out load.

"Yep, I am the quintessence of being totally screwed."