“Okay this is insane!” I said and headed for Mogwai’s car.

“Oh, come now, Ms. Remington. You killed a Succubus, you just fought the Chorts and a little translocation turns the tides?” Henry drawled in an amused tone.

Spinning, I turned on him and marched back. “I don’t want anything to do with all this!” I yelled.

“And yet here you are, perfumed with gun smoke and wrath,” he said in a teasing tone.

“I didn’t have a choice. They were going to kill me, and even a judge would agree I have the right to defend myself,” I said, pretty damn sure I was right.

“Assuredly you are correct. But that same judge would have you reposing at the local mental wellness retreat. Which, while restful,” Henry parted his hands and smiled wide, “would not allow you the special comforts of having that same protection the next time you are attacked,” he said in that wordy, yet, colorful manner of his.

“Next time?” I gawked at him like someone hit me on the head.

“According to un-natural world.com, once you are exposed to the un-natural world, there is a high probability they’ll come again,” Mog nodded as she read her phone, obviously on the website.

“Oh, I know they will, Ms. Remington. You have a rather nice bounty on your head for such a rudimentary foe, and these boys have to pay for their sweet wax somehow,” Henry chuckled, but I didn’t see anything to laugh about.

Mogwai’s head popped up as she heard the word, ‘bounty’, then once more she was in her phone.

“The Quest Board is offering five thousand experience points for you,” Mogwai muttered, sounding somewhat impressed.

“Wait, there’s a website with a bounty listed for me?” I asked dumbly.

“Indeed, its true,” Henry looked as pleased as he could be, but I was just getting more confused and angrier by the second.

Mogwai held up her phone for me to see, like a child showing off a new toy.

“The dark web is darker than most people think,” Mog assured me.

She was right. On the screen was an old school wanted poster. There I was sketched right in the middle, and under my face, “Reward 5,000 EXP.”

“It is a fair representation, but it lacks a certain something, doesn’t it?” Henry laughed.

“I fail to find the humor in this, cowboy! And what did you mean by calling me a rudimentary foe? And what the fuck is Sweet Wax?” I demanded, and Henry finally surrendered and put up his hands.

“I meant no offense, I assure you. I merely suggested that you aren’t infamous or renown for your physical abilities. Normally if there is a bounty on a mortal, it is a person of significance,” he said, then realized he was again, not flattering and added, “For example Jimmy Hoffa, his bounty was ten thousand experience points.”

“Who the hell is Jimmy Hoffa?” I yelled my frustration mounting.

“Bruce Lee. Surely, you are a lady who enjoys the cinema. Bruce Lee was a man of martial prowess, and famous for-”

“I Know who the hell Bruce Lee was!” I growled.

“Then you know the legends about him. The Lee family curse wasn’t completely made up. The bounty on him raced up to five hundred thousand experience points before he was killed. Of course, by then he was hardly a mere mortal. He was a infamous Bounty Hunter.”

“We shouldn’t still be standing here,” Mogwai cautioned, but I wasn’t ready to leave. I wanted to know more, and I sure as heck was going to.

“You are telling me, you SOB, that Bruce Lee was killed by monsters for a bounty?” I said disbelieving.

“Bob Crane, George Reeves, Tupac, many famous mysteriously died, or died under mysterious circumstances, all had a bounty on them,” Henry declared.

“Oh My God, are you telling me Marilyn Monroe had a Bounty on her head?” I asked stunned.

“Yes, but that was by the DNC,” Mogwai said matter-of-factly.

“True, but JFK, let’s just say the ‘grassy knoll’ theory wasn’t completely in error,” Henry cocked his head.

“Lone shooter my butt,” Mog agreed.

Down the street the first shrill wail of the sirens grabbed my attention. I’d stalled too long.

“I believe that is our bugle call,” Henry said and turned as he motioned to the club.

I looked around the parking lot for an alternative, but really there wasn’t much. Mogwai’s car was the first thing I thought of, but it was pretty banged up, and the cops had to be keeping and out for it.

“My dear friend, we need only flee to the extent that we move indoors. It is recognized as neutral ground. No one will find us once we are out of the parking lot,” Henry said, and as the sirens grew closer, I felt that surge of panic building.

I’d been in cuffs in the back of a cruiser the night before, I didn’t need to chew the fat with a cop version The Bride of Frankenstein. I really didn't have any desire to find out what kind of monster she really was.

“Sure, maybe we can get lost in the crowd,” I agreed, but still thought it was a stupid plan.

Winding through the parking lot, we rapidly came to the entry way. Parked just to the right of the entrance an old ratty looking army green motorcycle sat. Aside from it’s mere presence on the side walk, and the long necked rubber duck on the handle bars, it wasn’t much to look at. Of course, Mog was drawn to it like a nerd to flaming hot Cheetos and Baja Blast Mountain Dew.

“ Squirrel's ride," Mogway breathed.

RaTBike » BlackRatCustom [https://blackratcustom.com/wp-content/uploads/sb-instagram-feed-images/2314791113697121034_4220143068low.jpg]

" Its an Air-cooled, 45-degree V-twin. 50HP, 4,800 RPMS and 74 cubic inches," Mogwai said like she was checking off some imaginary list.

"I think our young friend has lost the proverbial plot," Henry said and chucked a little.

"It smells like gasoline and axe body spray,” Mogwai cooed.

"Get it together Mogwai," Felix ordered, but Mogwai was entranced.

The lights from the cop cars could be seen now, and I felt my skin prickle with returning adrenaline.

“I could add Vance and Hines, slip on exhaust, a S&S airbreather, and I think I have Thunder heart Electrical-“

“I don’t have time to listen to you coo and preen. You all get inside. I’ll stay out here distract the cops. “Felix said with disgust.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

With another glance back I saw the cops pull into the parking lot, but I didn’t wait around to see what they did next.

Slipping inside I was assaulted by neon purple and green lights, the sounds of an overtaxed sound system and, a hundred cosplayers in full costume. Everywhere I looked people were dressed in odd robotic outfits, or as soldier warriors of the future. Hell, off to one side Master Chief from Halo was clearly making the moves on Commander Shepard from Mass Effect.

“Mog, this is the night club you want to go to?” I said as Henry pushed deeper into the room.

Henry looked between us, then his eyes twinkled as he looked me over. “Why, Mogwai, you devil. You didn’t tell her you were bringing her to Sci fi-Con?” he laughed,

“What the hell is Sci fi-con?” I asked stopping cold and looking around.

Sure, as shit, I stood out like a sore thumb around here, with the expectation of a few staff and people running booths. But they had lanyards and passes. None of them where here to d the Boot Scooting Boogie, that was for sure.

Now that I looked at it, Henry was dressed a little too period, and Mogwai, while, the Jr. Miss version of a Street samurai.

“Redd Dead Revenge?” I asked pointing at Henry, who laughed and shook his head like I was silly.

“No, my dear Desperados III, but I will let it slide considering Mogwai’s little ploy,” he laughed and kept walking.

“The cops don’t like coming in here,” Mogwai said with a grin. “The freaks scare them.”

The ridiculousness of this whole thing kind of hit me about then, and I had to lean against a post and rub my eyes with the heels of my hands.

“I’ve got a Monster Bounty on my head, and you bring me to a Con? What are these people going to do, hit them with their foam swords, and charm them with their plastic Harry Potter wands?”

“Information. Conventions are the best source of information about the Un-natural. It’s where a lot of them come through,” she said in her normal placid way, that made me want to spit nails.

“So, what are you trying to say here? That some wise being has some hidden knowledge that will help get me out of this crap?” I asked as we pushed past a red skinned warrior alien woman who I am certain intentionally pushed her boobs up against mine.

“Careful, Meat, she’s with me!” Mogwai hissed, but the red skinned vixen just smiled, shot me a wink and blended into the crowd.

“Was that an un-natural creature?” I said as I watched her go, dumb struck.

“Worse,” Mog said with a shake of her head, “Tik-tok influencer.”

My laugh came out a little too high and uncontrolled. I’d finally lost it. The lord had forsaken me to be stuck at a convention, while monsters were hunting me, and Mog was feeling xenophobic about social media stars.

“No, a local gentleman, a Dungeon Master named Squirrel, is who we are seeking. I believe he will be able to help clear things up for you in a way I cannot,” Henry said like it was perfectly reasonable response.

“Squirrel! The motorcycle guy? We are going to meet a role-playing game nerd named Squirrel? I was supposed to be out dancing and drinking Manhattans. Nowhere in my evening plans did, I say I wanted to meet a Squirrel,” I announced.

“You don’t just walk up and meet Squirrel,” Henry informed me, with a grin on his face. He was enjoying this entirely too much. In fact, the damn fool smiled and grinned way too often, and I kind of wanted to punch him in his fool mouth.

“That’s true,” a Viking dressed in a sleeveless green army jacket, said from my right.

Mogwai stopped in her tracks and looked up like a goat seeing a horse for the first time. Awe was evident in her eyes, but the man stepped forward and offered her a hand.

“I normally find you first,” he grinned amicably.

“Hi, I’m William Earl Jennings, but most people around here call me, Squirrel,” he said in a deep voice and shook everyone’s hands all around.

Long haired man with a braided beard, wearing a olive green jacket [https://images.nightcafe.studio/jobs/cbSaPl3akgmJuOPYbxRn/cbSaPl3akgmJuOPYbxRn--2--mud3g.jpg?tr=w-1600,c-at_max]

“He looks like a bear,” Mog said still dumbstruck.

Truthfully, he did look more like a bear. Rather, a bear and a Viking had a love child, who became a biker. The guy was bulky but not fat or anything, and dude was covered in coarse auburn that included his chest length beard, and bushy eyebrows.

“Yes, he does, but he doesn’t bite, I swear,” said the only other woman in this place that wasn’t dressed like a sexy vixen from a teenage boy’s wet dreams.

“Hi, I’m Chloe. Sorry we took so long to find you. Squirrel can’t walk past a booth without saying hello, he's chatty,” she explained and offered me her hand.

As we shook I took her in, and smiled a little more easily for a moment. The woman wasn’t traditionally beautiful, with a wide jaw, and a slightly crooked front tooth, but she was stunning in her own casual way.

Dressed in a simple black skirt, and white blouse she could have been any professional woman in America. I didn’t know if it was her blonde Midwest haircut, and pleasant pink lipstick, but she just seemed like a Mom. You know someone you could feel comfortable giving a hug to, or chatting about how shitty men are, a real woman, you know what I mean?

Don’t mind the Minion, “Squirrel said and put his arm around her shoulders.

She drives this clown car-“ he said.

On cue Chloe cut in, “But, he’s the head clown.”

“Ba-dump-a-psssshhh,” Squirrel said as he mimed the drum sting.

“How did you find us? How did you even know we were looking for you, we just got here?” I asked bewildered.

Henry, again turned to me with that annoying self-satisfied grin on his face.

“My dear, this is the modern age. We have luxuries like you’ve never known, smart phones and something that's called text messaging,” he paused than looked at me confused.

“I’m sorry, this is a talk normally I only have to give to un-naturals their first time here.”

I flipped him off, and Squirrel laughed uproariously and herded us all toward a curtained off area. “Oh, you guys are awesome,” he laughed as we pushed through the curtains.

“So, Mogwai said you need a basic tutorial on, The System?” Squirrel said with a suddenly serious expression on his face.

“I guess so. But seriously I am feeling a little bit like Alice just found out Wonderland has been all around her in plain sight for years. You people are everywhere,” I said as Chloe grabbed a snack tray and sat it on a large table.

I noticed she avoided the pleather mat that seemed set up for a military style sand table, complete with tactical elements and strategic goals.

“Yeah, conventions have that affect on people,” Squirrel said.

“She means the un-naturals, William,” Henry said as he tried to look remorseful of my ignorance.

“Oh, yeah for sure, for sure. No, there are only like three here. Everyone else is just cos-playing,” he said, and sat back.

“Oh, I kinda thought you were one of them,” I said, feeling sheepish.

“No, no, not me. I’m just the Dungeon Master. Chloe is the Gate Keeper,” he laughed.

“Maybe we should cos-play Ghost Busters!”

“Did you need to go back across? I didn’t have anyone scheduled for the transition, but- “Henry cut Chloe off with a chuckle.

“No, Ma`am. Ms. Remington here just needs to learn how The System works, she is new to our ways,” he insisted.

“Oh good, I need to set up for the women of cyberpunk panel,” she winked at Squirrel and turned to walk away, and Squirrel watched ever step as she departed.

“I knew marrying a Moirai would be worth it, no matter how tangled up in their duties they get,” he grained and turned back to us.

“That’s a Roman last name?” I asked, but everyone at the table just smiled and ignored me.

“You want to learn the system, right dude? Well, hah, you came to the right place. I’ve been a Dungeon Master for ten years, now,” Squirrel said and started picking up books from the table.

“Not really, I want to go home, but Mogwai here seems to think I need to know. I guess someone put a bounty on my head,” I said jokingly, but Squirrel stopped cold.

“You’re the one who killed Porsha?” He said and swept his long hair from his eyes.

“Does everyone here know anything about me? What the hell?” I asked and glared at Mogwai.

“She’s going to be Henry’s new Bounty Hunter,” Mogwai inserted helpfully.

“I am not!” I said on reflex but sat down at the first seat on Squirrel’s right.

Henry only grinned and looked at Squirrels stack of books. “Proceed Sir. Ms. Remington still needs to know what she is dealing with before she decides the course of her fate.”

“The course of my fate? What does that mean?” I demanded.

“Wow, that’s pretty heavy and you don’t even know the weights on you yet. If you killed Porsha, you must be worth a cool two thousand experience points. Low level mobs are going to be all over you,” he said looking compassionate.

“Five thousand, she grappled with Porsha and won, so they deem her stronger than she is,” Henry explained.

“That’s why you want her to become a Bounty Hunter?” He asked.

“That’s why she must become a Bounty Hunter,” Henry nodded.

“It won’t save her from Phoebe, or any of the higher-level creatures,” Squirrel looked shaken, but I was still in the dark. Hell, I didn’t need no one’s protection, I had The Judge and a few other surprises if I needed them.

“Okay then,” Squirrel said and with at thump he dropped the last book on the to table, which ominously read, “GURPS: Generic Universal Role-Playing System.”

“GURPS? What the hell is GURPS?” I asked.

The room turned and looked at me like I was a two headed cat.

“We have a lot of work to do here, and we don't exactly have something like Sweet Wax to pump us up.” Squirrel said in dismay, and drug the snack tray closer.

Once more I took in a deep breath, and calmly asked, "What is Sweet Wax?"

Squirrel smiled up to me and grabbed a Von Dutch Energy Drink from his drink holder and held it up with a grin, "Gamers have Energy drinks, Junkies have Meth, and Chort have Sweet Wax."

"Great so I have stoned bikers after me as well?"

Squirrel took a long drink from his energy drink and wallowed followed by a loud sigh, "Hyper-vigilant crack heads are the least of your concerns my dear," he said, but I didn't really believe him for some reason