Eternal Hiatus, A Retrospective, Final Builds, and a New Story.

Hey there. It's been a while. And I suppose it's time, really, for a goodbye.

As you can see in the title, I'm doing a new story, one that I've even mentioned here in the Author Notes several times before. I tried to do both at once, I tried to return to horse, even in the past month, but alas, this book has really hit the point of eternal hiatus. For that, I am sorry.

Now, allow me to explain some things. I've already had a sort of retrospective before after an earlier hiatus, so I will be repeating some of it, but I've made several mistakes in this book that have just piled up, and I wanted to talk with you who have stuck with me about them.

First. I made the MC too... apathetic. Maybe even sociopathic. Even if he held great empathy for his friends. This isn't a bad MC to have by itself, I'm certain a different writer could make it work, but in the case of horse, it just made things boring. That ties in to the next point.

There is no direction. Like, I originally intended for power itself to be Jackal's goal... but even that was not very present. He was just so always there for his friends, that his personality became helping them.

There's nothing wrong with this trait by itself. I love it even, which is why I included it. But just, why is Jackal the MC then, if he's just going to follow people around? I really went too far with this aspect of his personality. Briella or Halbert would've been better leads. Hell, I went really hard on the former's POV... to mixed reception. I was defensive about it at the time ofc, bcos that was genuinely far more interesting to write for me. But I suppose that in itself was some flag or a sign. I was much more interested in writing her than the MC. Even Halbert's POV was like this. They had a goal, a direction, where Jackal's character did not.

So why was Jackal chosen as the MC?

Easy answer is a lack of planning. Harder answer is because horse. I thought it was a fun gimmick, I thought I was being so unique and such a special little bean, but Jackal being a horse didn't really matter narratively, save for a few admittedly funny gags.

If I were to rewrite things, then I would either change Jackal's character completely, or I would choose Halbert or Briella as the lead. Probably the former. Briella might be a bit too smart for me to write as the lead. And it's very hard to write characters smarter than oneself.

I also could have done a lot better with the world-building. I didn’t really prioritize it, and it ended up feeling kinda stale.

Now it's not all bad. There were some very positive things I did with this story, in my view anyway. While lacking much meaning, I think I choreographed the fights well. The builds that I made for the characters were very fun, and there were some funny jokes that I still like today.

What I loved the most was what I was able to do with the happier moments. I didn't even notice it at first, I had the jokes so I thought things were lighthearted, but damn did I actually make the setting feel so bleak.

It only made the good times shine the brighter.

I learned the power of contrast.

I will now spoil what vague plans I had for this series, and my more concrete plans for character builds, because builds are cool. I thought that this might just be a good way to close things off, if you wish.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

Jackal

His next evolution would've seen a misshapen slab of meat arise from his back. It would be covered in armor-chitin, only recognizable as a sort of torso because there would be two sets of very asymmetrical arms growing out of its side. Instead of ending in hands, these arms would end in different sorts of weapons. A lance and a scythe for the bottom ones, and a whip and a sword for the top ones. Oh and the torso part is entirely headless. No legs either of course, it is stuck on Jackal’s back, under his own control. Maybe there’d be a mouth where the neck should be at some point, capable of speaking the human tongue, but in a very very eldritch nails-on-chalkboard way.

He’s sort of a centaur… kind of?

Jackal hath become his own rider. He would also earn his horseman of the apocalyse/salvation skills in this evolution. (Also, Horseman is the reason why he’s half-man half-horse now. Sorrrttt of.) He can summon a herd of horses that heal, a stampede of giants from the skies, a fortress of horses circling each other, summon a mount for every ally for a big charge, and other big effects but with a major cooldown. And the salvation/apocalypse share a Skill and cooldown.

This build only gets refined in the next milestones, level 200, and 300.

At 200 he becomes a dullahan/Pegasus mix. Which would give him flight, hyper regeneration, and the ability to just detach some of his body parts sometimes. At 300, he becomes a tricorn of sorts, with a unicorn and bicorn Class. The former gives speed, and allows for teleportation via piercing through space with his middle horn. Whereas bicorn grants destruction, specially from his two side horns.

400 gives a third class. His third class would be based on purgatory, the in-between. This would give him ghost-like powers, phasing, and eventually semi-invulnerability for a very short time. Or for a longer time, but he’s basically stunned.

500-700 I planned to have domains of a sort, all based on a single one of his 3 classes. But these are not concrete plans.

AND FINALLY. 800. The ultimate final milestone to be reached, though it is possible to go higher. Jackal becomes a TRUE tricorn. And it’s a pinnacle sort of existence.

Orlean.

Gets exo-armor next, then full-on mechas, and only escalates further from there.

Halbert.

Wind to gale. Gale to gravity. Body enhancement just keeps getting better. And then explosions for 3rd Class. This could be explosions of power upon punch that makes him have the same range and devastation as All Might. (Basically a Skill that’s a fusion of all three Classes.)

He can also condense all that explosive energy… and then shoot it all from his eyes. In a straight line.

He’s definitionally the archetypical superhero.

Briella.

Evolves into succubus/banshee at 200. Something milder but still diff species at 100. Like an elf/siren.

Yeah, she just becomes more and more not human with every evolution. And everything revolves around her illusions.

Flaze.

She gets permanent clones. Essentially just a hivemind. And then she becomes a demon lord for her 3rd class, massively buffing each and every body. Each body can switch forms, but it’d be a long process. She gets a lot of new ones too, like: a valkyrie for flight. Greatshielder, as in two tower shields, one for each arm. A destroyer that is super slow but utterly destructive.

Yeah… she might actually be the scariest to face. Silver lining is while she can regen her bodies given a lot of time, they have to be kept somewhat close together, though that range does expand a lot.

Downside is holy shit they’re all together.

Things have reached this point because she finds that her siblings have died. She also suffers a grave betrayal at some point, and becomes hellbent on revenge. There was an imposter among us all along.

As for who.

Reaps is sus.

He is the root of it all.

(Continued in the Author's Notes)