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Chapter 69: Nice.

My head peeked out of the Jacuzzi, along with the entire front half of my body. I watched from the balcony in awe, the awful beauty of the apocalypse. I sipped several unique cocktails from three different straws, as my mouth went slack jawed at the whale crocodile that dipped out from the clouds, before swimming up once again. That one was surely well beyond Level100. Perhaps an evolution or two stronger.

Not that I could check from all the way out here, although I was tempted to test that theory, a very long ranged Identify. But no… That would be too much of a fucking risk for literally no gain.

A smaller copy of the monster then popped into existence, right beside me. Briella was also lounging in the pool that did not work beyond being a container filled with water, living the life of luxury that we never could. Not that being in this 5 star hotel truly added that much fun. Not when shit doesn't work. Not when it's not made for a horse. But we had no reason not to do it, once someone suggested the idea. So we just did.

I don't even remember whose suggestion it was.

"Do you think this is a convincing baby of that thing?" Briella referred to her illusion, while pointing at the real one. "Think it would come running here, maybe?"

My thoughts halted for a second, before I neighed at her with rabid urgency I don't know. But what if it does work, and that fucking monster comes here!?

I pointed at her head, and then reached over with my hoof to shake it. Idiot. Head empty. Drop the illusion!

"Aaahhhhh! Stop! Tis joke! You're no fun!"

I shook her harder. I'll show you fun! Release the candy inside! RAHHHHH!!!

"Ow, ow, OW! FUN! Fun! Definitely fun! Now stop you stupid horse!" Briella swan away and jumped out of the pool, shaking herself off the water like a dog afterwards. "Asshole. Horsehole."

What in all that is unholy is a horsehole!? I splashed her back with water.

"I'm done evolving." Halbert suddenly said, and I looked immediately at the bed he'd commandeered for evolving. "I hath turned. Into a mermaid."

Huh? I wasn't expecting that evolution choice. I stepped out of my rich-people tub and towards my friend who looked for all the world like he was still meditating. A look at his feet showed no fin…

Before I could get confused about it any further, I heard a mad cackling from behind me. I saw Briella laughing her ass off, literally rolling on the floor.

She pointed at me. "You should've seen your face! That dopey horse face! Gahhahahahaha!!!"

It took a few seconds, until I understood what had happened. Briella used her new sound powers to copy Halbert's voice. I got pranked, and Halbert himself was still going through his options.

It was a very funny prank, and I was still laughing when I drank of the pool and spat it all out at Briella.

"Wha– Ew! Horse juice! Yuck!"

There's more where that came from! I dipped down into the water again to gather more ammunition, but when I surfaced Briella had jumped back into the pool. I aimed for her regardless, but the woman dove down, getting the remaining water to act as a barrier.

Impressive! I dipped my head again, but a shot of water suddenly hit me across the face, right at the eye. I resurfaced to a laughing Briella, and I immediately dove to gather up water water into my mouth again.

It's fucking on bitch!!

"Alright, I'm done!" Halbert bellowed, while I stomped around the water. I felt a silent pressure descend upon the room right at the same time.

I looked at Briella, and she cracked up a little, much as she tried desperately to hide it.

Not falling for that again. I huffed and sat in front of the woman, disturbing the water that was only at half now thanks to our antics. That only made her cackle further.

"Uh. Guys. Hey, guys! I got something good. I wanna test it out?"

I looked deeply into Brilla's face as she said all that. Her mouth didn't move at all, despite her voice changing skill still requiring her to speak. All that meant was that she was using an illusion, and I was not wrong.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

That did not mean I was wrong, however. About her trying to pull the same kind of prank as earlier. I was unable to spot the telltale signs of an illusion, which were usually apparent if one really looked at it closely.

"HEY!" Halbert shouted again, but I kept my eye on Briella's mouth. Her illusion should be spottable if one only looked at it very closely, but somehow I still could not spot any inconsistencies.

That only meant that Briella was rapidly getting better at it. Good on her! But I was still not falling for it!

"Stop. Ignoring. Me!" I rolled my eyes at how Briella still kept on trying to sell the same joke, but then my eyes rapidly widened when this one was punctuated by a person catapulting towards our pool, and sending a large volume of water splashing out.

I shook off the wetness, the feeling confirming that it was real. The air cleared just a second later, and I saw Halbert there, crouching on the pool that had now cracked in two.

Hey. I neighed, waving. Briella cackled, before immediately telling on Halbert about what had just happened.

"Oh my god. You fucking idiot, Jackal!" Halbert laughed along, the two of them now pointing at me as I stomped angrily. I pointed at Halbert to try and change the subject.

Evolution. Tell me about it.

"Eh… I was going to tell you but… You didn't seem interested?" Halbert hedged, tilting his head cutely. His muscles had only grown even larger since his evolution, and it was a tad disorienting to think how he was quite the lanky dude just two or so months ago. It was almost a more surprising change than the one I encountered.

"What if I'm not real?" He continued. "Maybe Briella's just playing another prank. I think so."

I booped him on the nose. He booped me back.

"Very realistic. Briella's really gotten good at this."

"Thank you, fake." Briella bowed in his direction.

"You're welcome real."

I rolled my eyes, and waited until the joke finally got old. I glanced towards the broken city, and it didn't take long at all for my attention to be stolen.

There was a very large flying squirrel the size of a truck. Gigantic, really, by squirrel standards. It soared through the air, with all the grace of a bird of prey. It was a predator for all the other things flying, for the winds followed its whims, rejecting the domain of the sky from all else that dared to intrude upon it.

The squirrel feasted good today.

"I can take it." Halbert suddenly said. His eyes were focused, and his feet moved by themselves. Magic gathered around his form, before either I or Briella could say anything.

One moment Halbert was there, and the next he was gone.

The wind blew my face away, sudden and strong. Water splashed across my body, as the pool we were on dried up. The jacuzzi suffered intense damage and was split in half.

I looked at the man floating in the air and raised an angry hoof at him. You did this on purpose!!

Halbert did not answer, and I rolled my eyes. I remembered that his flight Skill only lasted for a short while, and noticed how far the fall would be, for the hero was very high up in the air.

I pointed at him again, but this time with worry instead of righteous indignation. Briella. You think he'll be fine?

She did not answer, so I looked back at Halbert. To my surprise, he was still flying, and my eyes widened further for every additional second that he remained afloat.

"I can fly!" He eventually declared, picking up speed. A look of pure joy crossed his face moments before he accelerated to a truly ridiculous speed that might just beat my Longstrider.

Halbert laughed boisterously in midair, the sound carrying over the din of the apocalypse. He very obviously attracted attention, but even that raised his mood higher as he flew without limits, tearing apart with his bare hands all the monsters that dared to approach. He flexed and relished on his newly improved physique, cuts and scrapes healed easily, the best of them barely able to draw blood. And certainly, none were able to inflict a remotely serious injury.

That was, until he attracted the eye of the big one.

The flying squirrel eyed Halbert, as they drew closer to each other. Gale force winds picked up as they neared collision. I could feel the air tingle and rage from all the way up here.

The nascent hero was the first to be pushed back by the force, but he bore through the pain and fought back. The winds around the two of them grew increasingly more chaotic, fast approaching a breaking point.

The two combatants held still, eyes locked onto each other. It was as if they had a silent agreement, to have a contest of wind and magic, in a battlefield pure of all else.

A conclusion was reached, and it was not Halbert who won. He began to fall, and I immediately jumped from my seat, to watch my friend crash into the tip of a skyscraper.

I reflexively rushed over to the edge of the balcony, ready to scale the glass walls of the hotel, so I could go over there and hell. Briella too got up, just as prepared to rush over, but she also gestured for me to wait.

I looked at her incredulously, because now was certainly not the time for waiting, but Briella pointed outwards, and I followed her finger to the crumbling building that Halbert had crashed into. I looked at the rubble, unsure what Briella wanted me to find, until more stone exploded out from the ceiling of the structure.

It was Halbert, and he was flying out like a rocket straight for the monster that had buried him there. The squirrel turned towards the ant it was unable to swat away earlier, but it did not react fast enough to avoid Halbert's punch. The animal's face whipped away, and its body went slack for a second, before the squirrel shrieked and turned back to claw and bite at Halbert.

The hero only welcomed this, as I squinted my eyes to try and see better what was happening. There was a large volume of blood that marred his outfit, but the wounds that they came from seemed to have already healed. A testament to how powerful his evolutions were.

Halbert faced his foe again. He made sure to stay close to the monster, continuing to clobber at the thing. He stuck close to the creature, and grabbed into its bountiful fur whenever the winds got too strong. The squirrel's claws raked my friend repeatedly, but he managed to heal back the damage each time. He avoided going anywhere near the head however, likely to prevent himself from getting locked down by the monster's jaw.

The fighting continued. Halbert flew, crawled, and grabbed circles around his foe. He managed to shred one of its membrane wings, but the squirrel kept afloat regardless, out of sheer wind magic. Though the animal did lose a lot of its speed and maneuverability.

Halbert took advantage of this further as he punched and kicked at its body, weaving around the striking limbs of the creature as best he could. A particularly good maneuver allowed him to get right on top of the monster's other wing, which he proceeded to tear to shreds, uncaring of the clawing he suffered in the process.

Halbert took an opportunity to fall back, having taken a bit too much damage. His opponent on the other hand was tired and exhausted, barely keeping itself afloat.

My friend waited for the worse of the wounds to close, before he dove towards the squirrel once again. He focused on the monster's back, to be out of reach of its natural weapons, steadily clobbering away until blood began to pool at the squirrel's mouth.

The creature whined out a whimper. Too exhausted to keep itself afloat, the animal began to fall.

Halbert followed down after it. He began to push at the monster's torso, and I could barely make out the wind that did the same. Like a hand or structure made of air of equal size to the creature, that pushed upon the whole of its body. The squirrel crashed down with the force of a meteorite, and the building it crashed on collapsed from the force, and the nearby skyscrapers rattled from their foundations.

I waited for a tense minute, until Halbert clawed his way out of the rubble. He had a nasty bite mark across his torso, but his flesh was already beginning to mend. The big smile on his face did not leave the fight's result a mystery.

"...I can do that too." Briella boasted, and I snorted right at her.